Dag 361 – Zelfvergevingen ontevredenheid over mezelf

Dag 360 – Ontevredenheid over mezelf

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb ontevredenheid over mezelf te ervaren over het feit dat ik mezelf niet optimaal heb toegepast en toepas.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een algehele doffe ervaring te creeren in mezelf, waarin ik niet meer zie waar dit vandaan komt, maar waarin ik me alleen nog als ‘dof’ ervaar.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb zinloosheid te ervaren doordat ik mezelf niet optimaal heb toegepast en toepas in mijn leven tot dusver.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te hebben opgegeven in plaats van mezelf te hebben toegepast, waarin ik het leven als zinloos zie en ervaar, wat het ook is zonder aanwezigheid van mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een algehele ervaring van depressie te creeren als dit niet toepassen van mezelf zich accumuleert door de tijd heen, in jaren en jaren opgebouwd, waarin ik wel zie, he, depressie is niet wat het genoemd wordt in de medische wereld, het is niet wat ik ‘ben’, het is slechts een staat, een toestand in de geest waarin ik me bevind welke ik fysiek gemanifesteerd heb door het nalaten van de toepassing in en als mezelf, maar waarin ik zoveel lagen ervaar en fysiek gemanifesteerd heb waardoor ik niet zomaar in die depressie op kan staan en dus mezelf onderdruk, depress, in en als een ervaring van depressie.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb fysieke klachten te manifesteren als dufheid en fysieke vermoeidheid, welke komt door de vele systeemlagen in en als mijn fysiek.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb verkramping als controle te manifesteren, in een poging om mezelf weg te houden uit deze staat in de geest als depressie en dofheid, uit angst dat ik er nooit meer uit kom als ik er eenmaal inzit, niet meer in staat om controle ‘los te laten’, aangezien dit geen oplossing is zolang ik niet weet wat ‘loslaten’ inhoud als een actief proces van schrijven, zelfvergeving en zelfcorrectie in en als zelfoprechtheid als toepassing van mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mijn lichaam zo te belasten met alle geest bewustzijn structuren dat ik mijn lichaam verzuur met allerlei gedachten, welke ik geloof, onderdruk en opsla als emoties, waardoor de organen in mijn lichaam harder moeten werken en meer te verwerken krijgen dan hun eigenlijke werk in samenwerking in en als het fysiek, waardoor er een soort van ‘achterstand’ ontstaat in het afvoeren van de afvalstoffen, welke zich uit in bijvoorbeeld lichte hoofdpijn en andere ontgiftingsverschijnselen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet preventief de gedachten te hebben gestopt maar deze te hebben onderdrukt en opgeslagen als emoties als structuren in mijn (spier)weefsel in mijn fysiek, welke vertraging en verzuring geeft, waardoor ik vervolgens bezig ga met de fysieke gevolgen hiervan in plaats van bezig te zijn met het stoppen en onderzoeken en zelfvergeven en corrigeren van mijn  participatie in mijn gedachten als toepassing van mezelf, en dus opnieuw niet toekom aan de werkelijke toepassing van mezelf, en zo de cirkel rondloop en de ervaring van ontevredenheid accumuleer en in stand houd.

Zelfcorrecties volgen.

Eqafe – Free Interviews – klik hier

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

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Dag 360 – Ontevredenheid over mezelf

Ik sta op en ik bemerk in mezelf een wat ‘doffe’ ervaring. Er zit zinloosheid in, en een ‘opgegeven hebben’. Depressief is niet het woord, maar als dit accumuleert wordt het een depressieve staat van zijn als algehele ervaring. Het is geen nieuwe ervaring. Vaak gaat dit gepaard met hierbij een fysieke vermoeidheid, of verkramping, of dufheid, of organen die hard aan het werk zijn en ontgiftingsverschijnselen geven, of een lichte hoofdpijn. Dit alles was niet aanwezig, het was alleen vrij helder deze ‘ervaring’. Ik ben ermee opgestaan en de dagelijkse bezigheden gaan doen. Ondertussen ziende wat er nu eigenlijk aan de hand is. Ik zie punten waarover ik ontevreden ben wat betreft mijn toepassing. Punten die ik heb laten liggen waardoor situaties zijn ontstaan die ik heb verlaten, waarover ik niet tevreden ben. Echter het doorwandelen van de cirkel rondom deze punten neemt tijd in.

Ik ga achter de computer zitten, open de email, en merk hier, he, hier ben ik wel tevreden vanochtend. Gisteren heb ik mezelf gepushed om wat langer door te gaan en wat ‘extra’ taken op te pakken en zo de tijd in de avond optimaal te gebruiken. Dit geeft een heel prettige start. Waarin het tot me door dringt: De doffe ervaring is een ervaring van ontevredenheid; ontevredenheid met mezelf dat ik mezelf niet optimaal heb toegepast op een aantal vlakken in mijn leven welke zich heeft opgestapeld tot een algemene ervaring van ontevredenheid over mezelf.

Zelfvergevingen volgen.

Desteni I Process Lite – free course to start with the process of self-realization

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 359 – Porn – What is the Question we should ask?

Living Income Quaranteed

In the discussion about the porn-scene, there is often spoken about the ‘line’ of what is abusive and what not. How rough the sex is, if the woman did agree on it, and within this if the woman was informed about what would happen before she agreed on it and if she had a possibility to stop if it was not what she expected and she could not handle it. So actually the questions that are asked within this, are all about what is allowed and what not Within the total allowance of Pornography.

The point in this is: aren’t we asking the wrong question? The question is manipulating the outcome as the answer.

We have to see beyond the balance of this ‘thin line’ of acceptances and allowances Within pornography. What should be questioned, is the existence of Pornography as a Whole. We are so ‘used to’ the existence of porn, that we do not even look anymore why it exist in the first place, what it is in this world that caused us to Watch Other People Having Sex, from soft ways to the most horrific ways we can imagine. Isn’t this The question in itself?

What causes us to watch porn as other people having sex? Because, the demand determines the product, so the question why porn exist is simple: because there is a demand so it is a way to make money. So, if you are watching porn:  you are contributing to and keeping in place the whole porn-industry in relation to money.  You really think the porn ‘stars’ would do this job if there was no money involved? Get real. Would you do this?

So this is the first thing to realise, porn is here because people are making money of it and we are all dependent on money to live,  and money is not equally distributed so we are all living in and as a survival mode. Sex as how it is used in the porn-scene is a way of surviving, to earn money. The porn-industry is making advantage of this. Within this, the point of ‘free choice’ in participating in the porn-industry is seen from a totally different perspective, which shows: there is No free choice in this, there is only need for survival.

Second thing is the act of sex in itself.

Why are we watching to other people having sex? Isn’t sex just a physical act, firstly implanted to reproduce, just as animals do, and secondly usefull as a support to become more physical, to enjoy physical touch and interaction, if and when it is applied in a way that is supportive to the physical body and where in people that are involved agree equally, without any manipulation applied, which means they should be totally aware of what they are doing. To be totally aware of what we are doing before we make the decision to have sex, we should be educated in this. And who in the world is Really educated in the principles of having sex in a pleasurely and respective way? Are you? Who did teach you this? The porn movie that you watched, which is produced to make money and where there is ‘free choise’ of how abusive one like to watch it?

The point is, we don’t know what we are doing while we are having sex. We actually have no idea. Most just start doing this because the whole world is making a lot of noise about this, combined with hormonal changes inside our body around the age of 14, which are activated and making us feeling restless. Within this, first thing we ‘learn’ in this world, is that we have to ‘do’ something with these activated hormones, and if we don’t, we are ‘missing out’ on something. This something means ‘sex’. We learn that we miss something if we do not have sex. So, in essence, we learn to have sex to make us ‘feel better’ than who we are without having sex. This in itself implies that sex is Used, so abused to ‘reach something’, which is a ‘better feeling’ about ourselves. This is called Self-interest.

Did we need sex when we were a young child? No. It is activated. I am not saying that we should not have sex. I am saying, that we have to really investigate what sex contains, that we have to be educated in this and educate the ones that come after us. That we are not ‘more or less’ when having sex or not having sex. There is no ‘free choise’ in this, we are all addicted to this search for ‘feeling better’ about ourselves.

And porn is made to feed this, and at the same time making money out of it, which makes the ones who make money out of it, ‘feel better’ or ‘more powerfull’, and within this using the ones who ‘choose’ to involve because they need the money to survive.

It is not ‘normal’ to watch other people having sex, just because we like it. If you could choose, would you choose to watch other people having sex or would you choose to do it yourself? Are you watching at movies that you know are really abusive if you would act this movie out in reality? So you choose to ‘watch this’ other people doing on a screan? Why are these people doing this? Because of your demand for it; you buy it, they get money for it. So actually, porn stars are acting out on all the hidden fantasies of human beings who are willing to pay money for it.

If we donot watch porn, but have imagines in our head during masturbation or having sex, this is exactly the same. It is all connected to each other in the same Mind Consiousness System. And we are all contributing to this. We ‘think’ it is harmless to make pictures in our head, but it is not. And this is what we should seriously be educated in. Only this education can make us see how we All are equally responsible for the large abuse that happen in this world, which is all related to the area of money and sex. And deep down, we know this, otherwise we would not hide it. We only don’t understand How it is related. If you deny, you are not self-honest and you want to move on only for and within your self-interest. Which is a serious problem.

If you see the common sense in this article and you find yourself addicted to for example watching porn-movies – also the so called ‘innocent’ ones – know that there is support to understand and stop this addiction. Know that honesty seeing into self in this, and saying, hey, I see I have a problem here, I only don’t know what to do about it, this is self-honest and it takes courage to do this and to do something about it.

There is a lot of free material available to start educating yourself. It is a lot, so just start and take on one by one. Allow yourself to free yourself from this addiction, as any addiction is only making us feel better for a very short time and it makes us feeling worse afterwards, and this feeling worse will enlarge. This is how addiction works, and we know it.

If you have the chance – meaning if you have acces to internet, which you have, otherwise you would not be able to read this article – educate yourself, and within this, stand up for a world that is free from all sorts of abuse, related to sex and money.

To all people who are just having ‘innocent’ pictures in the head of wanting to have sex with the lovely neighbour or handsome colleague, and for the rest having a ‘stable’ life with enough money to live from and for example a happy marriage and kids; also: educate yourself.  You, We, are the ones that are able in the first place to stand up. Exactly just because of being relative ‘stable’, it is possible to start with the self-support Right Now. Stand up for Life on Earth, stop the allowance of abuse related to money and sex and be a part of the solution. If we all do so, this world will be a total different place, as a place where we all are willing to live and contribute; if we all give as we would like to receive.

Investigate:

Porn Addicts Journey to Life:

http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/

Desteni Forum for support:

http://forum.desteni.org./

Free interviews:

What is Sex:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-overview

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-introduction

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-seven

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-eight

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-9

Shocking Secrets of Masturbation:

https://eqafe.com/series/7-shocking-secrets-of-masturbation

The Metaphysical Sectrets of Imagination:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-introduction

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-self-image-and-imagination-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-self-image-and-imagination-practical-support-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-comparing-images-and-imagination-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-comparing-images-and-imagination-practical-support-part-4

The Soul of Money:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-infinity-secret-consciousness-as-the-light-and-the-dark

https://eqafe.com/p/the-heart-of-love

https://eqafe.com/p/the-inequality-of-resource-distribution-within-all-bodies-of-existence

https://eqafe.com/p/divide-and-conquer-the-majority-enslaved-by-the-minority

https://eqafe.com/p/the-interconnection-between-thoughts-energy-and-light

Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race:

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-4

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-5

Full what is sex introduction

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 358 – Impressed by the interpretation of the impression of others

https://i1.wp.com/www.tekstblog.nl/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/stempel.gif

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself impress by the impression of others as what they speak in words about me within and as a statement and/or retoric question towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impress myself by my own impressions as reactions as thoughts, feelings and emotions in and as the mind of what others may think or feel about or through me which I interpret on my turn in their words and tonality within and as a statement and/or question towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt by my belief in the value of judgements of others, and to protect me to not feel hurt anymore, I produce judgements as value to feel better, as a way to control, as a way to be ‘first’ to protect me from this experience of hurt inside myself, to rather place value and/as judgement as a way of control than to feel lost in this experience of hurt again, in and as a belief in the value of judgements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel physical paralized in and as fear of the self-interest of others and/as myself, and in this, start judging everything I fear, as a way to protect myself to not experience this fear for and as the pain that my believe in the value of judgements gives, not seeing, realising and understanding that in this way, I keep on judging myself as others and so I fear myself existing in/as self-interest.

To see beyond the balance of judgement, beyond the balance of the polarity that is existing within the belief in the value of judgement as more or less than me. The Design of Polarity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself less than my believe in the value of judgement, and so within this, always have and create an experience of ‘loosing’, which is actually an experience of loosing myself in a believe in the value of judgement, in and as the mind, and within this create an experience of hurt, in which I generate energy inside myself and so, I can feel better again within and as myself existing in and as the mind, in and as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the value of judgements in and as a way to control life, not seeing, realising and understanding that within this, I suppress myself as life, I ‘hurt’ myself as life by impressing my interpretation of the impression of others onto myself as life and inprinting this in my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow others as/and me to exist and express in and as judgement, coming forward out of fear to loose myself in the hurt that is caused by the belief in the value of judgements, not seeing, realising and understanding that by allowing judgement, I allow fear of loosing myself equally within this, and so with making more and more judgements, I make more and more  fear, which is accumulating over time until I exist in and as fear in and as control in and as this physical existence as it exist today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the tendency to crawl into bed under the blankets and not come out again until this experience of fear has fade away, in which I believe the fear is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the fear I experience is real, which I use as an excuse to not stand up and correct in every moment what I see that needs correction in and as a judgement in and as myself which has caused the fear to exist.

*

When and as I see myself pulling back as suppressing myself because of being impressed by words or an retoric question from another towards me, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that the words every one speak, are an expression of every ones selves, which are impressed on something seen in me as the other and so spoken as if it has something to do with me, but it has not, it is their interpretation of what they see in and as me.

I realize that as long as we are directed by the mind, and speak words in/as a judgement in/as the mind, we speak about ourselves and our words are related to something in/as a judgement in ourselves, in which the word ‘judgement’ means something we give more or less value to and so we are not standing equal to and one as this ‘something’, which we recognize in another person as a reflection of our own personality, and so we tend to impress this something on others as an interpretation.

I realize that if I react to words, spoken as and in the mind, I relate these words to something in/as a judgement, meaning I give more or less value to it, and so I need to investigate all relations with the word I react to and/or with the person as I see as a personality who speaks the words and/or the tonality that all together triggers a personality in me, and so I need to do self-investigations on all these aspects related to this specific moment.

When and as I see myself reacting in thoughts, feelings and/or emotions on the words and/or tonality in a statement and/or a retoric question from another person, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that I react in and as an interpretation as a judgement in and as the mind, which I use to control my own reactions inside myself, in which I impress/supress myself in and as self-expression.

I realize that by protecting myself in and as a an interpretation as a judgement, I hurt myself and others in and as a way to control, ‘to be first’, and so within this I do exactly the same that I am protecting myself for in the first place, which is the doom of self-interest, attacking myself and/as others in and as a way of ‘protection’ in and as the mind, in and as control, giving value to judgements as interpretations and opinions existing in and as the mind.

I commit myself, when and as I feel myself reacting as pulling back, to stop and breath. I let the words flow through me, and see what reaction comes up in me, as this is that ‘something’ that I can and need to work with. For the moment, I stop and breathe. If I am clear, I speak up, if I am not clear, I stay in silence and support myself to become clear and stable in this situation. Eventual, I stand up and walk away, breathing, applying some self-forgiveness on what I see coming up. I flag-point this moment and if and when necessary I write it out later to see myself in this, to set myself free from the limitations in and as reactions on the words and/or tonality of another person by applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements, and in the next time in inter-action in a similar situation with another person, I see if I have been effective in my application and be stable, or that I need to do some more investigation inside myself to become stable and clear, in and as myself.

I commit myself to investigate why I supress myself in and as reaction instead of standing here and see what it is that I fear to become hurt by, what it is that I belief and within this, what it is that I give value to in and as a judgement, in and as the mind. I embrace myself in this, I let what it is that hurts me, flow through me while I am breathing, so that I can see directly into myself in this, and really forgive myself untill no reaction is coming up, so that and in which I enable myself to correct myself in physical reality.

When and as I see myself existing in fear, wanting to crawl in bed under the blankets to not come out until the fear fade away, I stop, I breathe.

I realize I experience accumulated fear which becomes overwhelming when it is triggered, in which I believe I have to correct ‘everything’ in one moment, which is a projection in and as the mind to enlarge en enhold it’s existence in and as fear.

I realize that real self-correction correction takes place breath by breath, and standing up in this goes easy, quiet, in a move, and only the mind on forehand is giving a lot of noise to create and stay in fear.

I realize that I can embrace myself and lay down, breathing, holding myself, but, that I cannot crawl under the blankets and stay in the bed, as the fear is not fading away by itself, it will only be suppressed in and as the sleep comes up, and so it will come back, even more accumulated.

I commit myself to embrace myself, hold myself, move myself, forgive myself if and when existing in fear and/or hurt. I breathe, I apply self-forgiveness on specific thoughts/feelings/emotions, triggerpoints that I see and come up, I see what is supportive as self-correction, I feel in my body where the fear is manifested and realize that this is related to old experiences as judgements that I gave value to in and as a believe in and as the mind, which I suppressed and so stored in my physical body. So, it takes time to walk this through, to write it out, to forgive myself, to correct myself, breath by breathe, as a support for and as myself, with and as this fear, not resisting it, as resistance will only enlarge the experience.

And first of all, I commit myself to STOP and BREATHE, to eventual speak some words in common sense to myself and within this move myself OUT of this fear existing in/as the mind. I allow myself to move out of this state of mind.

rode goedgekeurd stempel

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 357 – Lead by the eggleaders – Self-forgiveness

The Bee

PENTAX Image

Dag 356 – Lead by the eggleaders (ovaria)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself lead by the eggleaders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by the eggleaders for about 10 years, feeling as I had/have to use this, that I had to give birth to a child, just because this is a possibility and just because out of fear of missing something if I would not step into this opportunity, and for this, being busy for over 10 years with the cycle of menstruation and ovulation and finding a man and finding other opportinities to ‘give birth to a child’, where at the same time, I do not want to step into the system as how it is set up in this world with a child; where at the same time I fear being swallowed by the constrictions of living in this system, and at the same time experiencing how I already am constricted in and as a system within me that I could not escape by giving birth but what would give me the push to stand up in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give birth to a child as seeing this as the only possibility to stand up in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have felt so inferior of not giving birth to a child while the whole world seems to turn around this one point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my whole world turn around this one point of giving birth to a child, where in I saw/see at the same time that it was this ‘birthing’ that I was looking for, and not especially the ‘taking care of a child’ within the system in society as it exists at the moment, and so I was/am always devided in this point, which took me more than 10 years to investigate and walk through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to devide myself by the polarity in/as the mind, instead of living in/as the moment as what is here to be lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I had the chance to step into a relationship with opportunity to have a child, to not step in, as it felt/feels like this is not it, this is not what and how I want it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get confused by what I want and what self-will is, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that I am not confused, I am just not wanting to step into and as the movement of self-will as a final decision as a commitment, as within this, there is no way back, no backdoor existing anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I want to have a backdoor existing in/as the mind, to leave all doors open, just ‘in case of’, just for ‘you never know’, so that I can always step back when it seems like I made the wrong decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always have been scared for a post-natal depression when and if I would get pregnant because there was some in this desire to give birth to a child that was not self-honest, as it was always about ‘being pregnant and giving birth’ and never about walking with a child to guide in this society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that giving birth to a child would give me the strength to stand up, as within this there is no choise left.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel some regret of not having an oppoprtunity to in this life living a life of a family, living in nature, walking in partnership with a child, in a world that is carefull.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that living my full potential is not existing in taking care of a child perse, but more using this as an excuse to not live everything I see in this world for a long time already and stand up in this to make other people aware of the need to change, as when having a child to ‘raise’, I would be occupied with taking care of this one human, which gives little space to play a part in the education of humanity as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that I am not able to walk both, as there is no time for this with regards to my age and with regards to the situation the world is existing in and as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my lead away to men as there is a men needed for giving birth to a child, and because of the age-limit in this, feeling rushed and pushy towards men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have seen men as something I needed to give birth to a child, when at the same time seeing that I was not ready, not able to walk a partnership in and as a real support and so not ready to give birth to a child, but because of the feeling like ‘there is no time’ and ‘missing a chance’ and ‘needing to do this’, I have pushed it many times, and within this manipulated myself and the male by/in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and/as the male in/as the mind for having a partnership soon because of a time issue lead by the eggleaders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to use giving birth to a child as a way to give birth to myself, which is exactly the thing that I was so sick of what I have been used for, and because I was aware of this, I could, despite all my attempts to find a solution to get pregnant, I did none of them push through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand certain in my awareness of not willing to give birth to a child when I am not standing in and as myself and within this abusing and limiting the child in it’s expression, and instead of this, I let myself distract by/in/as the mind, lead by the eggleaders, making myself feeling miserable and ineffective and within this creating a lot of confusing within myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself miserable and ineffective, manifested on a physical level, by letting myself distract by/in/as the mind, lead by the eggleaders in/as dissatisfaction of my daily reality, which I made uncomfortable by myself, participating in and as this distraction and within this, manipulating, constricting, confusing and breaking down myself and my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself manipulate by the system of reproduction, instead of leading myself here in every moment, breath by breath, seeing what is best and based on self-will and walking/living this, instead of pushing and manipulating out of self-interest, lead by the eggleaders as the system of reproduction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel able to make a choise in this and taking real responsibilityfor myself in giving birth to a child, as seen in this writing that I was not certain and I knew this, and so push situations to extremes in a way to try to ‘let a situation decide for me’ while I already had found out to a certain degree that every action has a consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still create consequenses while knowing that I cause this, and within this not taking full responsibility of and for myself in word and deed.

*

When and as I see myself participating in/as fear of standing up, speaking up and directing myself in this I stop, I breathe.

I realise that I experience fear because this is new, never done, and so not known as the mind, and so the mind is giving thoughts as fear as a way of control.

I realise that I experience fear when and as I exist in self-doubt and thus I am not absolute certain, and so I need to investigate what I am missing in this in and as myself.

I realise that this is what I will walk, that this is not age-determinded, as I have had the possibility to walk a different way and give birth to a child, which I have decided not to walk, as I was not certain to walk it as self-will as there were always self-dishonest facts involved, which I walked through, so now I am standing at the beginning of standing up in and as myself, which gives an experience of fear as fear of failure, that we all have to walk through.

I commit myself to walk with and as myself, breath by breath, to take on every day what needs to be done, to see into this in self-honesty and with common sense, to ask for support when needed, and first of all, to support myself in this, to breathe, to write, to forgive myself, to embrace myself in this, to correct myself and to push myself to walk and live the self-correction, starting in small things, every day, with and as myself, and if I fall into failure, I stand up, I forgive myself, I investigate what happened, I walk on, realising that failure is only a failure when I lay myself down in it in acceptance, and otherwise it as an opportunity to stand up in it and walk through, step by step, breath by breath.

I commit myself to practise breathing to become more effective in stopping and walking through energetic experiences in and as fear.

I commit myself to walk this process of birthing myself as life in the physical, to push myself in this and dedicate myself to do what is in my ability to make this world a place worth living for all living beings and within this for children to come.

When and as I see myself participating in uncertainty with regards to a making a decision, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that I am distracted by something in and as the mind that I need to investigate.

I realize that there is fear related in this and so I investigate what the fear contains and what judgements are related in this.

I do not allow myself to let myself rushed by time in/as the mind to force and manipulate decisions in this, as this will create consequenses for myself and/as others.

I commit myself to investigate what keeps me from being certain and standing in and as a decision, to write it out, to apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, until I am certain to stand straight and walk the decision in and as self-will, as what is best for all.

I commit myself to slow down, to breathe, to walk in and as self-support.

The Butterfly

PENTAX Image

Desteni I Process Lite – (free course)

Redefining Relationships

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 356 – Lead by the eggleaders (ovaria)

EierstokkenIn Dutch language, the ovaria is called ‘eggleaders’ (eileiders). It leads the egg to the uterus. Well, it does not only lead the egg to the uterus, it leads the whole life of a woman, and indirectly of men. So the eggleaders lead humanity. It lead humanity to give birth to another ‘person’ and we direct our whole life – directly or indirectly – into this purpose, or we resist this purpose which is enlarging this same purpose in general. However, it is directed by this system of reproduction, which is still a system, and we are giving birth to ‘new life’ as a system, because we have become one and equal as our mind consciousness system and we pass this through into the ‘new life’, so the new life becomes equal and one as a ‘new’ mind consciousness system, and this we call ‘new life’. mmmmmmm……….

We do not know what it is to birth life, to birth ourselves as life in/as/through the physical. Many woman have problems around the area of the ovaria, related to menstruation. Menstruation is described as many things, from ‘a problem’ to ‘something sacred’. During my study of natural medicine I wrote my whole paper about the cycle of menstruation. lol we were looking for a translation of the word ‘timeloop’ into Dutch, and the word cycle was also mentioned, which I actually see as a ‘wide or large timeloop’. So, the menstruationcycle is actually keeping us in a timeloop of fertility which repeats over and over again. mmmmmmm……..

Marilyn Monroe: The Human Design – Menstruation

Then should we not give life anymore to new children? It is not precisely like that. I would say, we first have to support ourselves to become able to give life towards/as ourselves, and within this give life on earth, before we are ready to give life to another human being through our body. Because we have to guide this new human being, we have to educate and support this new human being, to be able to become as life itself, life as being responsible, responsible for self as life, for life as self. And if we all do that – first educate ourselves and then pass on this education to the next generation, after a few generations, life on earth will change into a life-worthy existance for every one and every thing.

So, if we did already have given birth to another human being before we as ourselves were as life, then what should we do? Do we have to judge and blame ourselves for this? No, sure not. This is what we already have done for a long time, although we are not really aware of it. We start the same process; we start walking this process of taking responsibility for ourselves in/as the mind and giving birth to life in/as ourselves through the physical. We write, we apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, and we change in and as the physical, as only when we change in and as the physical for real, this physical existence will start changing. With or without kids, the process is exactly the same, for every one.

We have given our authority to the eggleaders and made this a point of self-interest. Listen to the butterfly, listen to the bee. The butterflies allign reproduction to and as life, as what is best for all, for all butterflies, in co-operation with the earth. The bees work together with the plants and the earth, they take care of each other in a way that they will not take and take and take to survive. They give and receive equally. They live in and as their utmost potential, and if this is no longer possible in any way, than they decide to pull back, to stop reproduction, as living less than their utmost potential what sense does this make? We call them ‘lower species’. mmmmmmm……….

PENTAX Image

We as humanity are not so smart. Self-interest does not make us very smart and is very short-sighted, it makes people blind. Blind for the potential that is existing in humanity as life, If and when we are willing to work together with and take care of everything and everyone; human, nature, earth, plants, animals, as what is best for all. Giving and taking equally. At the moment, we are not even able to take care of our own species as humanity; we do Not take care, we only take, and take and take.

Where is my authority? Oh my god, it is “lying in” my eggleaders! And I gave it away to men in/as the mind, indirectly, not directing myself but in my perception and belief, ‘lying’ all day to myself, so actually and of course,  I gave it away to my mind (consciousness system), to lead me over the edge. I gave it away to lead me over the edge so that I do not need to take self-responsibility, for who I am as have become, for what I have done, for all the consequenses I have created and/or accepted and allowed to exist, within me and without me.

Only I can stop the limitations as the edge, existing in/as the mind consciousness system, to be and become the potential existing within me, in co-operation with all living species existing in and as earth. because in this, in earth, in the flesh, we are all Equal, so if I become One with and as the flesh, in and as the physical, I become equal to all that is existing, including myself. We are all made of clay.

Are you looking for your authority as self-direction?

Start today, it’s free:

Desteni I Process Lite.

Self-forgivenesses will follow in the next blog.

Authority is That which Life Grants Each One Equally, the Authority as Life.
There is One Authority on Earth now, which Stands Above all, that Dictates, which is Death. Death is the Point where Life is Authorized or Not, and to Get Authorized as Life – you Must, before Death comes: Be the Physical Evidence as the Living Flesh, as the Living Word – that you Understand the Authority as Life, as Equal, as What is Best for All – or You Will Not Pass Death (Bernard Poolman).

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 355 – Autoriteit

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren zonder autoriteit.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me geen raad te weten zonder autoriteit, niet zozeer om me constant te leiden maar als back up om eventueel raad te vragen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb paniek te ervaren zonder back up om raad te vragen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren om het te verpesten en zo het te verpesten voor de hele groep.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren gepakt te worden op een fout – hetgeen als fout gezien wordt door de maatschappij en als zodanig gebruikt wordt van tegenstanders van de invoer van eenheid en gelijkheid – en hierin voor de rechtbank gesleept te worden en zo een gevaar te betekenen voor de groep.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat ik niet in staat ben om volledig verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor hetgeen ik zie wat nodig is.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het liefst een back up te hebben die de eindverantwoordelijkheid als eindbeslissing draagt en hieronder te bewegen in hetgeen ik toe in staat ben, meebewegende met de beslissingen waarin ik natuurlijk overeen stem als wat het beste is.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het liefste onder iemand te werken die de eindbeslissingen neemt maar die wel doet wat het beste is voor als het leven.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren om eindbeslissingen te nemen en hierin de ‘verkeerde’ beslissing te maken met gevolgen voor heel veel mensen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het als ‘te vroeg’ ervaren om alleen te staan.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te ervaren alsof ik er nog niet klaar voor ben om alleen te staan.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren voor onderling en intern conflict in het nemen van beslissingen als er geen autoriteit aanwezig is die de beslissingen neemt als wat het beste is.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat ik niet zie wat het beste is voor iedereen en hierin een verkeerde beslissing maak.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me rustig te voelen bewegende onder een autoriteit die doet wat het beste is voor al het leven.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te bestaan in en als een godsprincipe, waarin god weet wat het beste is.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb alles in 1x goed te willen doen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren voor de autoriteit als die er wel is, om iets verkeerd te doen, en angst te ervaren zonder de autoriteit als die er niet (meer) is, ook om iets verkeerd te doen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb dus angst te ervaren om iets verkeerd te doen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren om te falen, waarin de angst juist hetgeen is welke me in en als faalangst doet laten bestaan.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf niet toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te kennen in en als autoriteit in en als zelfbeweging.

*

Als ik mezelf zie participeren in een angst om de eindverantwoordelijkheid te dragen, dan stop ik, ik adem.

Ik realiseer me dat ik het proces wandel om mezelf betrouwbaar te maken in en als mezelf, in staat zijnde om te zien wat het beste is en om beslissingen te nemen die het beste zijn voor iedereen/al het leven in en als zelfverantwoordelijkheid, en dat ik hierin ten eerste dus zelfverantwoordelijkheid dien te nemen voor alles wat in en als mij bestaat.

Ik realiseer me dat dit proces tijd inneemt en waarin ik adem voor adem tot stand kom, en niet in 1x sta zoals de geest doet voorkomen als einddoel.

Ik realiseer me dat ik dus feitelijk mezelf angst aanjaag door een einddoel te projecteren waar ik nu nog niet insta, en waar ik wellicht niet in zal staan op de geprojecteerde manier, aangezien het een projectie is van de geest.

Ik verbind mezelf door adem voor adem zelf verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor de angsten als oordelen als gedachten die in mij bestaan door middel van schrijven, zelfvergeving en zelfcorrectie en toepassing van de ademhaling en zo de projecties in de geest los te laten.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel gelijk te staan in en als zelfbeweging, in en als autoriteit, door adem voor adem te zien in zelfoprechtheid en op te pakken wat gedaan dient te worden in het moment, beginnend bij de kleine dingen en schijnbaar onbeduidende momenten, en steeds te zien wat het beste is en bij enige twijfel en/of neiging tot overmoedigheid, dit te onderzoeken en zo, adem voor adem, te staan, en te staan, en te staan, totdat ik sta in absolute zekerheid.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel het woord autoriteit te herdefinieren en me te bevrijden van de energetische ladingen die in en als mij bestaan, gerelateerd aan het woord autoriteit.

Talent ontwikkeling Diversiteit Diversiteit en talentmanagement

Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race – Part 1

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/