Dag 584 – The mind-body relationship – “I don’t care”

I start with a ‘simple’ reaction within myself in the morning. I am preparing food before going to work and I am filling a cup with water and powder to make a shake to drink and here I overturn the full cup and everything flows over the dresser. I was not really aware of my movements, I was in thought. I react on it in some kind of ‘rush’ inside myself that I do not so much feel within my body, only very high in the chest-area. What stood out for me here, is the thought/experience that came up within myself as ‘I don’t care what the effect is on my body’. It was a pure mind-reaction where in I did not care at all what I was bringing forward within the physical world. The reaction I find more important than the effect. For about a minute or 10 I was in this state where in I did actually not really notice that it was a ‘mind-state’ if I would not focus on myself at what was happening inside. It was a little possession that after about this 10 minutes, drifted away. And here the thought came up as ‘oh my…, what have I done’. And I could breathe in, deep into my chest-area.

We are talking here about overturning a cup, so about a small, daily event.

I notice that I made something more of my reaction than myself and my body and within this, I experience anger or rage within myself that I could see related to self-judgement, however I am not yet clear on the source of the anger-experience.

Throughout the day, I realize that I am facing my real mind so to speak and it is only by now that I am willing and able to take it on as myself, that I am ready to face myself in/as the mind and to support myself to change myself and to learn to really take care of my physical body. It is not ‘who I am’ in totality, however who I am in this state of mind as ‘I don’t care what the effect is on my body’ is not acceptable for and as myself; it is not who I want to be and how I want to exist.

(To make a note here that ‘my body’ can also be seen as ‘this physical existance as a whole’ and so, I don’t want to exist this careless towards this physical existance as a whole, however if I do not start within taking responsibility for my own physical as my body and who I am within, I will not be able to be and become equal and one as this physical existance as a whole, in and as substance. From the small to the big).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really take care of my physical body by allowing myself to go into rage and anger and make myself in/as the mind, more than myself as life in/as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care for my physical body and this physical world when and as I go into a state of mind as ‘I don’t care what the effect is on my physical body’ which makes me not trustworthy and unpredictable as there will always be unexpected accidents that will trigger this emotion within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shift out of my body, into the mind and not even feel what the effect is on my physical body as this physical world but only later experience the emotion of sadness about who I am in this state of mind that I do feel on my physical body around the area of my throat and shoulders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a reaction towards myself as who I am in/as the mind, create pressure around my throat in and as an emotion of sadness and helplessness about my own reaction coming ‘back to me’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ungracious treated because of my own reaction of sadness coming back to me and having an effect on my physical body, without seeing, realising and understanding how and that I create this effect by and as myself in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into victimization towards my own mind within reacting on my own mind coming back to me, where in I think and believe that others did/do not have this ‘re-bound’ effect and that I am the only one who is experiencing this effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate myself to what I perceive that others do or not do experience within themselves and from here, decide who I am, instead of seeing directly who I am in this state of mind of ‘I don’t care what the effect on my body is’ and from here taking responsibility for and as myself, no matter what another is applying or not applying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for not having the ‘rebound’ effect without considering or even seeing who I am within this state of mind of ‘I don’t care what the effect on my physical body is’ and from here, taking responsibility for and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wished and hoped for the stopping of my own mind coming back to me in and as a self-interest, without taking the responsibility to stop the effect by and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adapt myself to what I perceive to see around me in and as self-interest and from here, compromise myself and my physical body completely in and as an adaptation to my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my own mind is ‘coming back to me’ and from here, start defending myself against myself, instead if directly seeing what is coming up in/as myself, in/as the mind.

When and as I see myself going into a state of victimization, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am not taking responsibility for myself in a specific mind-pattern/state of mind and that I do not see how I create my own experience of victimization towards my own mind.

I commit myself to keep on being/becoming alert to the small reactions within myself and to every day, take on one small reaction to investigate for and as myself and to see who I am in/as the mind in this moment and what the effect is on my physical body.

I commit myself to make notes of this one small moment per day and to walk it moment by moment until I have clarity about my own creation in/as myself and my body.

When and as I see myself going into a reaction when I overturn a full cup and make a mess of the dresser, I stop and breathe.

I realise that I was in thought and not really aware of my movements.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, and start cleaning up the mess that I made.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for overturning a full cup.

I commit myseof to stop judging myself for participating in a thought through which I am not aware of my physical surroundings.

I commit myself to be allert of a possible memory coming up related to making some mess.

When and as I see myself participating in thoughts when being busy with preparing food in the morning, I stop and breathe. I focus on my breathing and move on with the physical activities where in I focus more on the touch of my hands with the products that I take and prepare.

I commit myself to be allert and make notes of the thoughts in the morning to see if there is a repetitive pattern coming up that I can support myself in and with.

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

“Don’t do unto another what you don’t want them done to you” – which implies in it’s every nature that what you do to another, you will experience. So, that is Synchronicity, that is, Equality and Oneness is Synchronicity.

Be careful of Synchronicity because it traps you, which is actually you trapping yourself into your beliefs, you trapping yourself Equal and One to what you allow. (…)

(From: Day 480: Meeting your Maker)

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