I am having pretty bad flu symptoms at the moment that I write this. It’s been a while ago that I have had this. It started with some slight symptoms and I could move on with my activities. Then at work, I felt the pain going towards my jaw, at the place where within two months, a crown will be placed. It hurted and here, I started to react with fear. That the pain would become worse and that the crown needed to be placed earlier, things like that. Since then the symptoms of the flu got worse (not especially with this tooth – it is like it was ‘passing by’ this area and because it is a ‘weak’ place, it hurted there more ) and I really need to stay at home and take some time to recover. I will write out some self-forgiveness on thoughts/experiences coming up during these days, related to the symptoms.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear come in within myself within thoughts about the place in my jaw where a crown is going to be placed, where before this, I had no thoughts of fear about having some slight ‘flu’-symptoms as a bit of a rough throat for example.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with myself during the days at home about wanting to use the time effectively but actually not being able to do anything constructive besides making some food and taking care for myself and the cats.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my house will become dirty with lots of hair from the cats and me not being able to clean up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will become ‘too much’ to clean up, where actually the cleaning up will be the same as before, only with some more hair now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to feel myself like this from now on, not being able to do anything constructively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the virus/bacteria to take over within me, which is actually the same as fearing my mind/the thoughts to take over within and as me, consisting as/related to memories within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able anymore to take care for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able to direct all things in my life as combining work, projects, house-tasks and self-care/animal-care.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impatience towards the flu-symptoms,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like wasting time when I am not able to do anything constructively because of feeling physically not well.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on towards thoughts and emotions and within this, hurting my body/letting this ‘eat’ on my physical body within the tissue and let it become irritated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards the flu-symptoms very slightly within myself so that I do not directly notice this, and within this irritate myself/my physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I would not be sensitive to a flu because I haven’t had this for a long time and so, did not build up fear towards this, where I do see now that there is a fear existing within me when and as it is happening and it also can be existing within me through family-memories where having a cold or getting a flu is accepted as that one should not kiss each other on the cheek for example when one is having a cold, because of ‘a risk’ of transmitting the cold/flu towards each other.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would not get the cold or flu and not wanting to participate in and as the thoughts/believes of transmitting a virus just by kissing another on the cheek.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder if the fear about my jaw has opened up towards the flu getting worse or that it would have got worse anyway.
I remember here having a chat with Sunette about me coughing after having some food, where she mainly advised me to slow down and not judge the coughing (I will write about this in a separate blog) and I noticed that this was the main point that caused the coughing/how I kept it continuing. I saw a related point with the flu-symptoms, that I was reacting to it, having difficulties with slowing down myself. So I see now that this is a point to consider in general: slowing down within myself and not judging what is physically happening but rather look at it and support myself within.
I commit myself to, when and as I see myself reacting to physical symptoms and judging myself for this, to breathe and slow down within myself, meaning, looking at what is really existing within me in such a moment and where my thoughts are going to from here, forgive myself for the pattern within and related emotions coming up.
I commit myself to, when and as I see physical symptoms becoming worse in a moment, to stop and breathe and slow down, to lay down when and as necessary, to embrace myself and see what I am participating in within my mind and what the fear is and from here, forgive myself for what I think and believe and participate in.
I commit myself to investigate and write about the patterns that are coming up more prominent when and as I ‘become ill’ as here my mind shows me what I have not yet sorted out within myself with regards to my physical and physical activities that I am not being able to do in that moment.
I commit myself to, when and as I fear that the virus will take over, to stop and breathe and see what thoughts I participate in as a ‘virus that I allow to take over’ and instead, direct myself within, forgive myself for the fear and bring myself here in physical reality.
I commit myself to be carefull with viruses and bacteria, to support my immune-system where I can and to seek for medical support when and as needed and when not, to trust myself and take care of myself.
I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating in thoughts about cleaning the house and fear of not being able to do so, to stop, breathe and look with common sense to the hair in the house that I will be able to clean up within an hour, as soon as I feel physically better.
I commit myself to look at a virus with common sense, meaning to not fear it but to also not go into an experience of superiority as in ‘I will not get the flu’ as this is actually also based on fear, as a fear of ‘being caught’ in a mind-pattern that is lived within the family/society and so, existing as a memory within myself.
I commit myself to work constructively with memories as fear as thoughts that I see existing within me in relation to physical symptoms and assumptions about a virus and other dis-eases by looking at the thoughts and related emotions and/or feelings and forgive myself for the energetic attachements within, to create space for/within myself to look at memories and information with common sense.
Multi-dimensional information about the evolution of viruses:
This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.
Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
The Secret to Self-Realisation:
Proces van wereldverandering: