This blog is related to record 22: Looking back without considering the mind
The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself in the present time, for not walking specific points in past times and within this, keeping myself existing within a point of blame, disappointment, dissatisfaction with, within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘correct an event’ instead of correcting myself as who I am in every moment, as something that I can start with and as right here, right now, in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself how I am now, with what I have learned through consequences, back in time before walking these consequences and then start blaming myself for not already back then, being as aware as I am now so that I was able to prevent myself from creating that consequence, that actually was the way to learn for me in that time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the consequences as a part of myself that I have separated myself from and instead, do as if I already knew better before, which can be so on some dimension but not in all dimensions because if I would have known better as being more aware, already back then, I would not have needed to create the consequences for and as myself to face myself within as as my own creation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own creation as consequence by thinking and believing that I could have known better.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to directly and physically expand and create physical solutions, without firstly and really standing equal to and as my own mind-patterns and physical creations/consequences, coming forward out of myself in and as my mind consciousness system in thoughts, feelings and emotions manifested and taking responsibility for this.
When and as I see myself thinking that ‘I could have known better’, I stop and breathe.
I realize that I back then, had seen some dimension that I could have investigated more but that I did not and so, I was too much involved in some mind-dimensions through which I decided to not slow down in that time, however, in this moment I have the tools available to support myself towards and within more awareness and so, in this moment, I am able to decide to slow down in certain area’s and when not, I have to learn through and within created consequences, as something that I am aware of now and if it happens without my awareness, then this is the way to walk.
I commit myself to investigate what made me to not ‘know better’ and do it differently and then take responsibility for the aspects that I see within the application of self-forgiveness and to from here, create the opportunity for myself to from now on, know better as being more aware of myself in moments of decision making and eventually, in every moment.
When and as I see that there is a dimension that I am not willing to investigate but instead wanting to ‘physically move on and push through and decide directly’, I stop and breathe.
I realize that I tend to ignore a part of myself that may change my decision and so the outcome that is not directly what I at first prefer or desire as an outcome and so, I tend to ‘move as fast as possible’ so that I have already created the consequence as physical outcome that I think I desire and want for myself, as a way to quickly experience this before it is too late (so not possible anymore).
I realize that within wanting to quickly experience something, I create consequences for myself and/as others as and eventually, it will not be what I really would want for myself and others as well as long as I have ignored a part of myself or others that I see that play a role in a situation.
I commit myself to slow down and create time for myself to investigate what is not yet clear within myself if and when life-changing decisions are to be made and also as much as possible within the small decisions and moments in every day life.
I commit myself to stop ignoring parts of myself and others that come forward and to take time to get more sight on the vague parts within and as myself.
When and as I see myself focussing on an outcome, I stop and breathe.
I realize that I put more empathy on the outcome than on who I am within and as this specific moment and so,
I commit myself to slow down and focus on ‘who I am’ within a specific moment as this is something that I can ‘control’ as direct within and as myself, no matter what happens outside myself and no matter what the outcome will be.
I realize that this ‘who I am’ within each moment, is what eventually will keep existing and I also realize that I will try to sabotage, ignore and distract myself from this within and as my mind consciousness system and so I commit myself to walk this a path as a process, day by day, moment by moment, with the support of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, in writing, in speaking and as a way of understanding myself and others as a whole.
Previous blog: 21. Opportunity to change direction
Next blog: 23. Abusive relationships and dependency
Proces van zelfverandering:
Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
The Secret to Self-Realisation:
Proces van wereldverandering: