Dag 790 – How to speak on the phone? Self-forgiveness on Dag 789

telefoon

Application of self-forgiveness on the event I described in Dag 789.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction when and as I heard that they did not come for the floor that day, where I started to speak out within this reaction towards the one on the helpdesk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to accept that the floors were coming later and to insist that they would bring in another solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed that the floors would come 3 weeks later because I sceduled everything on time and now it seemed as if my whole scedule did not make sense anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry that I now need to replace all and everything from 3 rooms again and to find it ‘unfair’ that I need to do this and arrange this when I did scedule everything perfectly and where the mistake was not on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find that the compensation for the discomfort that they created was very minimal and so basicely, I feel like their mistake is only giving me trouble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have difficulties to see mistakes as a natural thing that may happen from time to time where people are working together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expected that the floors would not give any trouble as this was one of the only two things that I let someone else do, so that I did not need to worry about it and now it turned out that I did need to ‘worry about it’ as they did not put in the floor on time which is giving a lot of discomfort and extra work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like the extra work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the extra work as if I will be ‘burried under the work’ and not get it done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel almost blanko after this happening and to not see it in perspective anymore, where actually all the other activities could just on how I planned it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself feeling worse and more ‘out of line’ through my own reaction on the phone, when I heard that they did not come for the floors without informing me about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to force a solution coming out by speaking in reaction towards the helpdesk, believing that speaking in reaction will give the urge for them to do something about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not heared and understood in what the consequences are of them not coming and so, try to make this more clear by speaking in an emotional state so that they see that I am affected by it and so with this, expecting them to do something about it.

When and as I see myself going into a reaction on the phone with a helpdesk, feeling like ‘I have the right to do this because I am right about it as ‘it is ot my fault’, I stop and breathe.

I realise that it doesnot make anyone feel better and I also realise that I can be clear and direct in my expression, without being in reaction – actually even better of course because speaking in a reaction will only resonate the energy that I experience within me and so my words will probably not be heared. I realise that I make myself ineffective by speaking in a reaction, no matter how ‘unfair’ a situation is or may seem – the reaction will not bring in any solution.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, clear my voice and speak clear and direct towards (employers working at) a helpdesk and if and when needed, name and define to them what it does to me, what the consequences are of the miscalculations, however making sure that I do not go into a (hidden) blame that resonates within my voice and keep this for myself to stop and investigate.

When writing this (compressed) self-forgiveness I see that there are two main points that I need to introspect, forgive and mostly redefine more for myself to live it in a more effective way:

I realise that I react to extra work and lot’s of physical work in general and so I commit myself to investigate and write about it in blogs to come so that I can support myself in this without feeling overwhelmed by it.

I notice that I still don’t like the word/happening of a ‘mistake‘ and so I commit myself to introspect and redefine this word for the view and living of myself (and so the view of others as well in this) with the support of Eqafe interviews that are done about this subject.

telefoon rustig


Proces van zelfverandering:
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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

Dag 789 – Back to writing!

I saw my last blog was from 11 may so that is …… 5 months ago! I missed it and I missed ‘myself in the writing’.

In between a lot of changes have taken place and one of them is moving to another house – as also the reason for this ‘break’ within the writings. A beautiful place where I would like to stay and settle in. Now what to write about? There is much to reflect back on. Often when I travel to work in the morning there is almost a ‘whole blog’ coming up within me lol but when sitting down for it, it is different many times. I have learned that by just sitting down and starting the writing and keep on doing this, there will be enough to write about.

I will keep it simple this ‘first’ blog and reflect back on the process of changing houses. When I started the Desteni I Process 7 years ago, one year later I also changed the house and took a break from writing. I do remember that period as more stressful than this time changing, altough the house that I live in now, asks for a lot more work than the previous one. This is a proof for myself that I did become more stable inside myself through these 6 years and I am content with this. I certainly suggest to investigate what the Desteni I Process entails as this process is a guideline to develop this stability inside self.

There was one moment where I felt like I ‘lost’ it and it took me some days to stabilize again. I find it actually a ‘strange’ thing to so much get out of balance from. I am someone who is good at organizing and planning and that is then what I do. I look ahead in time and make sure that I do scedule enough time to plan the activities. It was a process that would take a few months and combined with work for a living as well, so I know here for myself that I need to make a ‘wide’ scedule, meaning taking enough time for each activity and not scedule too much after each other in one day. This is how I function best without going ‘over my top’. So I did and everything went very well.

There were 2 activities that I needed to outcourse and one of these tasks was putting in the venyl floors in the 3 rooms on the second floor. So I sceduled this as well 5 days before I would move all the stuff from the old to the new house and as much as possible after the painting. I was prepaired and all, staying over for one night in the new house, waiting for them to come somewhere in morning/afternoon that day. They confirmed with an sms to come and so everything seemed ‘on scedule’.

But they did not come! I called their helpdesk, waiting 20 min before I got someone on the line, where I heared that the upholsterer did put down the work that morning and did not come at all. But they forgat to inform me as well and sceduled a moment 3 weeks later without discussing this with me. And here I locked down and could not comprehend that the floors were not coming that day.

It was like my whole scedule went down and as if everything that I planned and organized and put into labour, did not make sense anymore because of this. Practically it meant that we (me and the ones helping me with moving the stuff) needed to put in everything into the rooms while moving, that I let it in boxes and unpacked for 2,5 weeks, that I then take it out and place as much as possible in the bathroom and move the rest from room to room while the upholsterer is busy and put it all back again. It means a day more work and some uncomfortable living for a few weeks but it’s not like ‘the whole world comes down’. It would be alright a few weeks later and I knew this. But still it swept me off my feet for a few days. I did not expect such thing to happen, actually I did arrange to do it this way; to outcourse this task so that I did not need to worry about that one thing! And it perhaps has to do with this suddenness and unexpectedness that it ‘took me over’ for a while. But let’s see within the self-forgiveness what opens up about it in the next blog.

What is Process? – Back to Basics


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive