Dag 817 – Patience

I see within myself in certain area’s that I have patience naturally and in certain area’s, I do not have it, at all. Here when I look at the word ‘patience’, it is like a ‘patient‘ to me, as a word for someone who is ill in some way and then being placed under diagnoses of the medical circuit. Where in I do not like or use the word ‘patient’ eather, as in this, one is easily defined as one’s ‘illness’; where I see the ‘illness’ more as a dis-ease within the mind-being-body as a whole and so it doesnot define someone as a whole, it is a part of oneself, a disbalance created or carried within one’s genetics and then activated and lived out and so, one is responsible for it, however not defined by it.

So here one could say, that I did develop a healthy way of being patience, which is also due to my medical education that I started around my twenties in the area of natural medicine – so here I have trained and developed myself effectively.

In other area’s – mostly within communication and interaction within relationships – I can in moments easily become impatient. Here defined as the dictionary definition of ‘feeling passive or suffering’.

Let’s open up my default connection with the word patience, realizing that I do have a reference point of patience within myself and so I am able to define this word effectively in every area and from here, I need to practice and train myself to really live it, just as how I have developed ‘patience’ as a an expression with regards to considering our physical mind-being-body health in general. I just need to bring this in extension within the more intimate relationship with myself and/as another, more close to home so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like passive and suffering when and as I need to wait for an answer for a while, even if it is totally normal that the answer is coming later as the physical movement needs time, it can only go as fast as it goes and the physical pace is the norm that I require to follow, simply because I am a physical being and I live in a physical world, connected to all and everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself with the physical pace, connected to myself as a physical being, this physical world and all and everything within it and instead, go into my mind and create a more faster pace that I then expect how things should go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then actually, place myself on an island within and as my mind, creating a pace for myself alone where in I move with the pace of my preferences and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the pace of my physical body and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the pace of this physical existence as a whole and all and everything within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience with my self and my own physical pace and from here and out of uncomfortability, trying to ‘catch up’ with my own and/as another’s mind-pace and within this, forcing myself as another into a direction in/as the mind, instead of slowing down, forgiving what is coming up in my mind as desires, thoughts, expectations and what more and aligning to myself physically here, which probably will be supportive for another as well, because we simply all have difficulties to slow down and align with ourselves in our physical bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself on an island in/as my mind, to not let another in, to not let another support me especially within an intimate relationship because I am not comfortable with myself and my own physical pace when being around with others, as here I become nervous, restricted, focused outside and loosing touch with myself inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to probably from a childhood pattern of revenge, keeping another at distance and not allowing another – especially in an intimate relationship – the practical action of supporting me in area’s where I may need it or could use it, even if it is simply asking for time, space, being here with me, where in I then start using this as an excuse that ‘no one is supporting me (especially within an intimate relationship), not seeing, realizing and understanding that I simply give no room and space to be supported and stand by as I manifest myself as if ‘I can do it all by myself’ and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame every partner for not supporting me when all the while, it is me on my island, high and dry so to speak, using ‘not being supported’ as an excuse to not step into and beyond the comfort of what I know, into the unknown, with trial and error, saying ‘I also do not know it exactly but we have to find out along the way and I would like you to slow down with me and see what is here’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act as ‘if I know what I want’ but all the while, staying at the surface and feeling constricted underneath, as an iron system manifested in and as my physical body, around my organs.

I commit myself to be and become patient with myself in walking step by step, deconstructing this iron or metallic system manifested around my organs, forgiving myself for my own created desires, expectations, idea’s, to let myself in so to speak and from here, to practice communication about where I am, what I would like or require to be / become more comfortable, gentle, soft, aligned with myself and within my physical body, to use what is here and who is here in my physical reality, as a self-supportive interaction for both / all involved and from here I will be patient and supportive with others as well in their physical pace and where they are and I commit myself to share and have fun, to use humor, to laugh along the way as one of the best ways to release inner restrictions and tension and become connected and aligned as well.

I commit myself to expand and embody the word patience in different area’s within myself, to be and become unwavering in every moment; standing here, one and equal with and as myself, in understanding of my mind, being and body connection in and as this physical realm as a whole, not judging my mistakes, not judging my pace and location but sharing, forgiving and laughing about it, realizing the effort it takes, realizing that certain things need to be walked through and from here, aligning and connecting with myself and one another in a way that supports myself, another and life as a whole.

I commit myself to allow myself to be vulnerable, when and as a moment is here and to allow myself be supported and allow another to support me, to be humble yet aware, in ways or area’s that I am not yet comfortable but on my way to open up for myself, within myself and I commit myself to support myself through and within the uncomfortable moments, to take a breath and see what is here within me to express.

Patience

Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 816 – What does ‘strength’ mean?

Eileen Sorg – Inner Strength

I am going to have a look at the word strength. What does it mean to have strength, inner strength, to be ‘a strong woman’ and to accept this within oneself?

I have no or little guideline or structure in this I notice so let’s see with the writing if I can start creating such platform for myself. I am quite sure I misinterpret the word strength, although I know it is not about physical strength, then still I do have a picture coming up with what ‘a strong woman’ means in my (un- / subconscious) idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a strong woman as a woman who can stand her ground in this world and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the strength here projected outside myself as ‘who I am in this world’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding strength here as a presence within and as myself to push myself through energetic mind-patterns that I have accepted and allowed to integrate within and as my physical body and then limiting myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ever considered ‘strength’ as in inner quality that I use for myself to push beyond my limitations, because I actually do not really recognize it as limitations but more as a stated ‘this is who I am’ or stated situation as ‘how it is’ and so, I do not consider moving beyond it; not considering that there is something to move into, in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question certain ‘who I am’ or ‘how it is’ as a limited creation / adaptation from within myself and so here not considering my own strength as well, cause if I do not see that and how I created it myself within acceptance and allowance, I also do not see / recognize my own strength or capacity to create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize my own capacity to create, may it be in a limited way – the creation is still here but from a mind’s starting-point and so limited, however the mind on itself can not create but only with me within and so, the mind on itself can not be stronger than me, within and as myself, as I am the starting-point and starter of it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand myself as the staring-point and so as the strength within and as me to move, direct, create, express and change where needed.

I commit myself to, when and as I experience a fear coming up, to breathe, embrace the fear-energy and forgive the fear as me and from here and while doing so, bring the word strength back to myself, as a quality within and as myself, within the starting-point of who I am and can be, to move myself beyond limitations as ideas and experiences that I have created / copied in and as the mind as an outflow of fear – to move myself into the unknown as me as Life itself and with the support of a living word that I look for in the moment – may it be strength itself, may it be another word that is present in and as me.



Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 815 – Understanding ‘borders’

Choosing my ‘borders’ can be colourful! 😉

I shortly have come to understand the word ‘borders’ (or bounderies) and what this means as self-support. Ofcourse to be expanded on. This word is often used, I have heard it many times before with regards to relationships in general. However I could not internalize it but only understand it as knowledge and information.

Recently I had a convo with Joe (which I truly recommend) and at some point, he mentioned the practical approach of placing borders as a clarity of what I accept and allow and what not (also in the very small/practical things). This did hit home as a practical tool to use and from here, I also started to see how within this, I am able to direct myself in interactions with others, without becoming, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed and what more, from what ‘another is doing’ and then not exactly knowing how to bring this in and so internally going into blame and resentment within my own mind, where I then eventually lock myself in and pull myself back.

What I see is that I completely loose myself in ‘not placing borders’ and from her, considering everything over and over again within my own mind. This in itself is not a bad thing, to consider all and everything, as it is a door to investigate new area’s in many ways and not get stuck within ‘what I already know’ and it enables to listen to another, however within this, I also easily loose sight on and suppress my natural self-border so to speak, as that from and as my beingness-integrity that is me.

It did become a whole personality of ‘being too nice’ and compromising myself within my physical body, without exactly seeing where and how I do this, how this happens, as the layering of blame had manifested around it and then I suppressed this as well because I did not like this part of myself and did not really understand how to take responsibility for this because actually this blame was in reaction of something outside myself that I did not know how to direct myself within.

So I firstly started to open up this blame dimension with the support of the Atlanteans serie on Blame (10 interviews) and from here, this point of borders did sink in and here I started to see this as the prevention for myself to go into blame, but also as a practical tool to be in a relationship (if and when this opportunity may open up in time to come). Because if and when I do stand and keep standing within myself, nice and warm within my own skin – as borders of what I accept and allow or simply in and as my self-will and self-integrity – I do not need to go into blame afterwards, cause I have already been clear within myself and enabling myself to express myself in a point. And vice versa; without already existing in a point of blame (build up through time when not investigated and forgiven), I do not need ‘to be nice’ to somehow ‘make up’ for my starting-point point of blame by ‘being nice’ and ‘wanted to be liked / to be good’, because I am already here, standing within and as myself, so no need to make myself feeling better or liked or ‘making up’ for something. So for example simply saying ‘no’ does then not ‘feel as a bad thing’ but more as an answer from within, that actually is then best for all as well, directly or eventually.

I do notice a difference within myself with regards to my self-will and placing borders in and as my self-expression, as if I now am more able to connect with myself as the starting-point. For sure there will be challenging situations to come with regards to self-will, borders, authenticity / genuineness and the construct of blame within , however it is like a turning-point within and as myself has happened to move forward from and the convo with Joe was a marker within this. I delayed this convo a few months, due to a lot of practical housing stuff that needed to be done last summer – so more focus and care on the outside, as how it suits with summer-time; however I see that I firstly needed to open up my inner darkness and the blame within, so that I could enter this convo in vulnerability and push myself to open up without fear, which lead to an enjoyable, warm and supportive two hours conversation. As the ‘self-harvest’ in autumn of what I have walked earlier this year – and all the years before ofcourse – investigate Desteni I Process.

Some self-forgiveness on what opens up after writing the blog:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bind’ myself and / as my expression, to another in / as my mind, instead of placing clear bounderies within and as myself of who I am, who I want to be in what I accept and allow and what not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a different / default pathway, as if I take a ‘side-path’ and here connect myself and my expression to another, instead of walking forward in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place ‘being liked’ above ‘what I stand for’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a strong physical fear / nervousness as ‘pain’ within my body in the upper-corners of my intestines, as if I ‘am not allowed to cross these lines’ which I see as related ‘borders’ of limitation where I ‘better stay in’ without me knowing or being aware of what exactly these borders contain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘I should not cross this pain’, and so staying and keeping myself in ‘fear of the pain’ as limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that because I do not know, see or am aware of what is beyond these ‘borders’, I should not go there because ‘there is nothing’ as ‘nothing that I know or can relate to’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience some excitement of moving myself beyond that limitation / these borders into the ‘unknown’ as nothingness and at the same time fear it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misunderstand borders as limitation as how I already had placed them within me to stop me from passing ‘what I already know’ and so, become kind of ‘borderless’ in that I do always see a possibility beyond a border or at least, understand where a limitation comes from and so kind of loosing myself within being borderless when at the same time, not being able to move myself beyond my own created borders in / as the mind.

When and as I see myself going into blame in and as myself, I stop and breathe. I realize that somewhere, somehow, I did not frame / border myself within myself and accepted and allowed myself to go into defaulted pathways in and as my mind and / or I did not express a border clearly towards my environment in and as my self-integrity and so, I commit myself to find where I missed my self-border as my self-integrity, to forgive myself for the consequences that I created from ignoring myself in my integrity and from here, finding my inner voice and practising to express myself clearly, towards myself and / or towards another.

I commit myself to define the experiences within and as the ‘pain-points’ in the upper-corner of my large intestine when and as they come up and to embrace and forgive myself in what I find and at least, when not yet able to define the experiences, just lay down, embrace myself and see what comes up within me and so layer for layer, piece by piece, bring myself back together, strengthening my self-trust as the foundation to move forward from.


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 814 – Discovering self-will

I was looking at a point within me that I reacted within and at how to direct myself in it; or actually I was feeling quite desperate in how to direct myself in it. So I was in some kind of turmoil with back-chat coming up, me observing the inner movements for a moment.

At some point I asked myself the question: “Who do I want to be? (in it all)”.

This calmed me down and a clear answer came up within me of who I want to be within this specific point, as well inside myself as living it in my outside world. What I did see is that I never really asked myself the question in this way. It was mostly coming up as ‘what is best to do’ or ‘what should I do’ and I did see within this a ‘must’ or ‘should’ existing without considering my own self-will. Who do I want to be?

I was reading a blog afterwards from Carlton; he has these flowing blogs full of common sense, it reminds me of a very well speaking priest but then with words taken back to self – anyway, one sentence I laid my eye on: (…) if self-will is lost so is our will to live (because we’ve become so depressed about the way we feel) (…).

That did make sense to me and I see this as the missing within myself, my self-will being lost; actually if I am looking in my own writing here above, describing how this ‘who do I want to be’ first time coming up within me within awareness – actually never considering my self-will but considering so much other factors as the leading example of who I should be, what I must do, what is best etc. Here I did see my ‘will to live’ being lost – not giving into this and keeping on searching for ‘that more’, which eventually lead me to Desteni – however I did not yet before connect this to the lost of self-will.

Here to take into consideration that with self-will, I really mean SELF-will and not a mind-desire that I have channeled myself into as the leading factor. This immediately shows actually why and how it is that I lost my self-will, I lost myself within somewhere, somehow and channeled myself into many dimensions in/as my own mind consciousness system. It takes time to unravel all of it and discover my Self and Self-will.

With ‘I don’t want that’ I certainly do not mean the same as ‘I don’t feel like it’ – where the last is often used as an excuse to not do something that we experience resistance towards. As long as there are emotions and/or feelings involved and resistance is experienced, it is actually ‘the place where we must be’ and will ourselves towards the self-willed movement.

You will will yourself” is one of Bernards quote’s I remember clearly. As moving into and as what is best for all will not come ‘naturally’ and so I need to will myself first and foremost to this point of self-will. Where the self and the will comes together with all the ‘selves’ in a way, as the life existing within each and every living being. If I do what is best for mySelf as Life, I do what is best for All Life. It’s One and Equal. That’s how I see it. I knew this in theory from the beginning of walking Desteni I Process, however being able to see it within and as myself takes time. I keep repeating this with every self-integration of a living principle that I write about, as I find this a very important difference. I start with something, somewhere that makes sense to me (often gathering the knowledge and information) and then I investigate it until I can see, word and live it one and equal, within and without. or even vice versa like I sense something within me that I can not yet explain and then with gathering the knowledge and information I can integrate it as some effective self-support. With Many phases here within.

These are only a few examples of the layers that I find within the words will, want and self-will. It is actually the same as with the layering of self-forgiveness that I do see deepening in understanding through time. I started with (8 years ago) really unraveling the format ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to’ where I was looking at ‘who is forgiving who?’ and investigating this until I did become more familiair with it. However also this morning a deeper dimension opened up – after opening up the self-will – of the application of self-forgiveness. Every time a little bit closer to self and self-understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider my self-will in what I want and how can I consider another if I not even consider myself truly and deeply?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to look at the dark dimensions within me and so not coming to a real deep self-forgiveness and so not coming to self and self-will in who I really want to be within it all, considering it all within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself away from new perspectives and real consideration in and as self-will, by suppressing the dark side of the the moon so to speak, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that without the dark side of the moon, there is no full moon possible either as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tend to consider what another want without considering what I want in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself from ‘I should and I must’ instead of from ‘I will’ – here not to mean that I have something against the words ‘must and should’ as many thing do need to happen, if we want it or not, however I tend to use ‘I should and must’ as a replacement of ‘I will’ and so I never reach my self-will as long as I should and must from myself, where at the same time I become very exhausted from the force in should and must.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become very exhausted from what I must and should, without reaching my will in and as self, where in I do sense myself and my will, however I keep circling around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to circle around my self-will by avoiding the deep dark nasty things, not wanting to admit this to myself, thinking and believing that, feeling like ‘I do not have a right to exist anymore if I admit this to myself’ when actually it is the opposite and as long as I do not admit the dark within and as myself in it’s existence, this ‘I do not have a right to exist’ is what keeps moving me on deeper levels and so, I keep forcing myself in ‘I should and I must’ because I already ‘do not have a right to exist’ and so, I most ‘prove’ in a way that I am ‘exist-worth’.

I commit myself to consider, embrace, open up and self-forgive the dark side within and as myself, to while ongoing and eventually coming, to a point of self-attention, self-compassion and self-warmth, in who I am and where I am in my process and location-point in and towards self-responsibility, where from here, I will be much more willing and able to share this as myself with another and approaching another within and as the self as who they are and where they are in their process and location-point, considering me and them and us as a whole, in kindness and softness, yet firm and clear in what I accept and allow (Dutch) and what not, as who I want to be and become in every moment of breath.

Here my own self-commitment affects me, ‘using the words to work for me’ in what is possible – as another supportive suggestion from Bernard about how to write the self-commitments: let the words work for you.


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 813 – Het fysieke, tastbare van de natuurgeneeskunde

Natuurgeneeskunde staat dicht bij de natuur, dicht bij het lichaam. Het is bijna 20 jaar geleden dat ik de studie natuurgeneeskunde afrondde en het vak op zichzelf – ‘natuurgeneeskunde’ – als vak binnen de overkoepelende noemer van ‘natuurgeneeskunde’ als gehele opleiding en benadering van het helen van het lichaam – vond ik fascinerend en tegelijkertijd kon ik het niet helemaal vatten. Ik zag de wetten, de waarheid maar kon het niet werkelijk eigen maken.

Nu 20 jaar later begin ik het tastbare van natuurgeneeskunde als vak op zich en het fysieke in de brede zin van het woord van de natuurgeneeskunde als geheel, langzaam eigen te maken. Het vak houdt onder meer de praktische toepassingen in zoals massage, koppen zetten, vasten, hydrotherapie, pakkingen, de leverreinigingskuur, klisma’s en ja, de braakkuur hebben we ook onderwezen gekregen en gepraktiseerd tijdens de vastenkuur. Al dat soort werkelijk lichamelijke toepassingen, enigszins ‘spartaans’ en dus niet zo snel geliefd bij het grote publiek – en zelfs niet bij het kleine publiek van enthousiaste studenten op de opleiding natuurgeneeskunde lol. Toch was het de richting die ik koos, samen met de hoofdvakken fytotherapie, voeding en iriscopie. (De twee andere te kiezen richtingen waren homeopathie en TCM/acupunctuur).

De basistheorie van natuurgeneeskunde en de fysieke wetten, is fascinerend en zo vol gezond verstand. Het werkt onder andere met het Reckeweg systeem waarin een klacht, zo niet op de juiste manier geheeld, onderduikt of onderdrukt wordt in het lichaam naar een diepere laag/fase. Zo zijn er drie oppervlakkige fasen die in de ‘vloeistoffen’ plaatsvindt en welke het meest eenvoudig zijn op te pakken en drie diepere fasen waarin het zich nestelt op cel niveau – en dus lastiger om waar te nemen en naar de oppervlakte te halen; denk bijvoorbeeld aan kanker, dit ontstaat niet over één nacht ijs. De natuurgeneeskunde als geheel, ondersteunt het lichaam om dit proces van binnen naar buiten als heling, zelf te kunnen uitvoeren. Alle middelen en aanpakken zijn er om hierin te ondersteunen; ieder op een verschillende wijze.

Het lijkt me dat dit eigenlijk logisch klinkt voor een ieder en dat het tevens klinkt als een enige, werkelijke en langdurige manier van heling/ondersteuning. Zo vol gezond verstand en praktische aanpak. Zo vol van begrip van en respect voor het lichaam als geheel en voor het aanwezige leven als geheel; zo Integer (hierin gelijk een beknopte herdefinitie van ‘integriteit’). Dit is de basis in mijn zienswijze die ik heb mogen ontvangen binnen een zesjarige studie, iets wat vrij onconventioneel is om dit binnen een opleidingssysteem in deze tijd te doorlopen. Ik zal er ongetwijfeld nog meer over uitweiden want het heeft mijn fascinatie en aandacht sindsdien, van binnen en van buiten.

Terug naar het tastbare en fysieke effect van de ietwat spartaanse / oncomfortabele aanpak van natuurgeneeskunde ansich en het aspect dat ik wil uitlichten. Het was tijdens een recente lever-galreiniging dat ik doorkreeg – 20 jaar na afstuderen! – hoezeer het aansluit op het tempo en de wetten van het fysieke leven en wat tevens de grote weerstand en kleine populariteit duidelijker maakt. Het vraagt namelijk Heel Veel Input van onszelf en vaak wat ongemakkelijke lichamelijke situaties om door te bewegen, zoals het klisma inbrengen, het turen in je ontlasting naar groene brokjes, het drinken van een kopje olijfolie, het vasten voor een halve dag en de vreselijke smaak van bitterzout met diarree tot gevolg. Wat ik hierin naar voren zag komen, is dat de toepassing van de natuurgeneeskunde heel duidelijk weergeeft waar het om gaat in het fysieke leven en waar onze focus nodig is en dat het niet ‘snel’ gaat. Echter het is zeer effectief! Indien grondig en op maat toegepast.

Hierbij een sitenoot dat de natuurgeneeskunde altijd individueel onderzoekt of een bepaalde aanpak passend en ondersteunend is voor een specifiek lichaam en wezen – niet iedere aanpak past bij ieder mens en indien niet goed afgestemd, kan het afdoen aan het welzijn en de fysieke gesteldheid, in plaats van dat het ondersteunt en heling bewerkstelligt.

Dit tastbare, de traagheid, de ongemakkelijke toepassingen, de fysieke handelingen, ik merk dat het mijn lichaam en mijzelf hierin, goed doet; het vertraagt me en maakt me kalmer en brengt rust in mijn lichaam. Het zet de dingen ‘op z’n plek’ als hoe een lichaam hoort te functioneren. Niet in één keer maar stap voor stap en binnen de fysieke mogelijkheden. Het werkt namelijk volgens de fysieke wetten en kent dus geen ‘wonderen’. Het is hard werken zogezegd. Tegelijkertijd brengt het mezelf in contact met mijn lichaam, met hoe mijn organen functioneren en zo vergroot het de intimiteit met mijn eigen lichaam en hierin is de oncomfortabele aanpak dus eigenlijk heel omvattend en zorgzaam. Niets is wat het lijkt.

Dit fysieke en tastbare dient zijn plaats in te nemen binnen het leven hier op aarde – het omvat en behoudt het leven als het ware. Zonder dit lichamelijke aspect, zou leven op aarde niet mogelijk zijn. Hoe we dan met zoveel weerstand hierin bestaan, dat zou op z’n minst vragen moeten oproepen binnen ieder van ons. Voor een opening in en begrip ten aanzien van deze weerstand binnenin onszelf raad ik Desteni I Process aan of de Eqafe-store. Dit is voor mij waar alles samenkomt en waardoor ik het fysieke, het tastbare van de natuurgeneeskunde op een dieper niveau kan gaan begrijpen en integreren. De natuurgeneeskunde zoals het van oudsher is doorgekomen bevat namelijk niet alle aspecten en antwoorden ten aanzien van de integratie van geest/mind, lichaam en wezenlijkheid en hoe we hier zo gekomen zijn met z’n allen. Echter vrijwel alles uit de natuurgeneeskunde is bruikbaar, ter ondersteuning van leven als geheel, aangezien het samenwerkt met de fysieke wetten.


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 812 – Planten en levende woorden

Goudsbloem – Calendula Officinalis

Ik zit in de tuin bij de Goudsbloem. Ik ben er al steeds naar aan het kijken, aangezien deze zo groot, stevig en dik is geworden. Ik heb bloemzaden gestrooid uit zo’n mix-zakje waarvan maar een heel klein deel uit is gekomen, aangezien het zo ontzettend droog was en de tuin een harde zandachtige grond met gras heeft. Echter op een aantal plaatsen is de Goudsbloem opgekomen, precies de plant die ik nog graag in mijn tuin wilde.

Deze grote dikke Goudsbloem staat achterin de tuin naast de plek waar ik steeds het grasmaaisel neerleg. Het moet uiteindelijk een soort van composthoop worden, ik heb dit stukje tuin nog niet echt aangepakt, het is nog een beetje een wild stukje.

Hier naast de composthoop staat dus die grote Goudsbloem. Het doet me denken aan jaren geleden, twee huizen geleden toen ik bezig was met het maken van Bloesemremedies en ik een enorme Paardenbloem in de voortuin had staan. Deze had met name een bizar dikke steel (1-2 cm dik).

Hier staat nu zo’n stevige Goudsbloem met ook zo’n opmerkelijke steel. Iets minder dik, maar nog steeds opvallend stevig. Dus ik ging er bijzitten en bedacht me, hé, laat ik weer eens afstemmen op de plant zoals ik destijds vaak deed en zien wat er in me opkomt.

Steel Goudsbloem

Vrijwel direct kwamen er een aantal woorden in me op zoals care, zachtheid, heling en ‘wondheling en slijmvliezen’ en wat later zag ik standvastigheid, stevigheid, ‘unwavering’. Vooral de eerste drie herkende ik gelijk als ‘levende woorden’ en dat vond ik een bijzondere link. Ik heb nogal moeite om met een levend woord in mezelf te komen die ik praktisch kan gebruiken ter ondersteuning van mezelf, mijn zelfexpressie; echter ga ik naast een plant zitten en stem ik me af op de kwaliteit, dan komen de woorden. En dat is eigenlijk ook hoe ik met de bloesemremedies werkte: de kwaliteit van de bloem/plant, in water overbrengen en dit water weer in mij en zo integreren. Ik heb toen vaak over woorden lopen nadenken die dan op een remedie geschreven konden worden of iets, maar het viel niet echt op z’n plek.

Nu na jaren van gericht schrijven, zelfvergeving en zelfcorrectie (zie Desteni I Process voor de tools en alle blogs hier geven het proces van schrijven weer) en uiteindelijk gekomen bij het punt van levende woorden ter ondersteuning van mijn zelfexpressie en zelfcreatie (naast het proces van zelfvergeving), maken de woorden op zichzelf veel meer ‘zin’ (making sense). Zo kan ik beter met levende woorden werken en tevens heb ik er meer plezier in door het te combineren met mijn aandacht voor planten.

Vervolgens zit ik in een flinke zelfsabotage waarin ik het idee de volgende dag, direct weer minimaliseer en wat al niet meer. Dat kan ik tevens opvatten als een ‘teken’ in mezelf, van mijn geest, dat ik in de ‘goede richting zit’ en iets heb aangeraakt wat goed bij mijn zelfexpressie past. Iets heel kleins, ‘onschuldigs’, als lijkende soort van hobby, maar wie weet wat eruit voort kan komen. Het is in ieder geval een handvat voor mezelf in het proces van levende woorden dat ik kan onderzoeken en wat ik kan beschrijven in mijn blogs. Een delen van mezelf hierin.

Ik schrijf wat zelfvergevingen op het patroon dat naar voren komt binnen dit proces waar ik er dan vanuit ga dat dit deel uitmaakt van de zelfsabotage:

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb moeite te hebben met het loslaten van delen die niet het beste zijn voor mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet door te willen bewegen op een diep niveau en mezelf ziek te maken met diepgewortelde patronen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb verdriet te ervaren en me te schamen over patronen die ik geprojecteerd heb, waardoor ik zowel mezelf als een ander niet heb kunnen ondersteunen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me schuldig te voelen dat ik onvoldoende heb kunnen ondersteunen door diep van binnen anderen ‘de schuld’ te geven, ook al weet ik beter – ik begreep niet hoe dit patroon ‘tot explosie’ in mezelf vanwaar ik het in me bewaarde en toch uitleefde, al was het voornamelijk in en op mijn eigen lichaam.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het patroon van beschuldigen uit te leven op mijn eigen lichaam en mijn lichaam en mezelf hierin te schaden.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het patroon toe te staan in een ander aangezien en doordat ik het toesta diep binnenin mezelf en zo niet effectief voor mezelf te zorgen als wat het beste is en dit dan zo te reflecteren als ‘voorbeeld’ naar een ander toe – ook al spreek ik andere woorden, zolang dit diep van binnen in mij bestaat, resoneert het onderliggende saboterende patroon mee en reflecteert het in relaties die relevant zijn hierin.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mijn woorden en wat zich diep binnenin mij afspeelt, niet werkelijk gelijk te hebben gesteld en zo conflict te creëren binnenin mijzelf – tussen wat ik ‘weet’ dat het beste is en het zelfsaboterende patroon als het ‘slechtste’ in mezelf en dit tevens weerspiegeld te zien buiten mezelf in relevante relaties.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf niet toegestaan en aanvaard heb zachtheid, care, standvastigheid, unwavering te leven als expressie van wie ik wil zijn, van binnen en van buiten.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel de momenten van explosie waar de schuld begint, te herkennen en mezelf te stoppen hierin en van hieraf, mezelf richting te geven met een levend woord en (indien nodig) met een zelfvergeving en verdieping in wat er opkomt en ik stel mezelf ten doel dit patroon van zelfsabotage zo te stoppen en het conflict in mezelf hiermee te beëindigen.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel me verder te verdiepen in het patroon van schuld en de schuld geven met behulp van een serie interviews in Eqafe (Atlanteans 180-184 welke hier begint)

Ik stel mezelf ten doel om, met behulp van (de expressie van) de Goudsbloem, mezelf te helen, mijn slijmvliezen te helen en te oefenen in het leven van de woorden (zelf)care, zachtheid, standvastigheid en unwavering en hierin te verdiepen binnen deze kwaliteiten en ik stel mezelf ten doel de kwaliteiten zoals kleur en voorkomen van de Goudsbloem nader te onderzoeken, herkennen, beschrijven / benoemen / herdefiniëren en integreren ter zelfondersteuning.

Knop Goudsbloem

Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 811 – How is blame a form of self-manipulation?

Within a conversation and after a group-chat, I did become aware that I do not see how and that blame is a form of self-manipulation. I mean, I do understand forms of self-manipulation within and as myself and in theory, I understand that behind everything that we do that is not aligned with what is best, there is actually self-manipulation active, because if we would directly speak and live as what is best for all – so including ourselves – there is no manipulation of self and / as others existing or needed; we are then here, stable, in and as life.

But, to understand something in detail and within and as myself; this is a different story than seeing the truth as common sense in a theory or knowledge and information only. So, here I would like to have a deeper look at how blame, exist as self-manipulation as well. Because if I do not realize, see and understand this within and as myself, I will react in subtle ways to ‘blame’ and misunderstand it (and so I fear / judge it) as something that is ‘done towards another’ or ‘done towards me’ as a starting-point, when the starting-point in and as self-manipulation is bringing the blame back to self. Where I then can do something about it.

Let’s start with some self-forgiveness and see what opens up:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that blame directed towards me, is really connected to me, when actually it has nothing to do with me – other than what my reaction is towards the situation and projection in and as blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when someone is blaming me for something, even when I cannot find myself anything doing ‘wrong’ but a small mistake that is behind it and within feeling guilty, I am making myself part of the dance of ‘being blamed’ and so ‘being hold responsible for’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and / as others for small mistakes and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of moving myself into some form of (self-)support, I follow the blame and circle myself back into and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself responsible for what another is blaming me for and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold another responsible for what I am blaming (hidden or not) another for and so I am still placing myself in a interconnected position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to be perfect so that another cannot blame me for anything and so that I do not need to blame myself for anything related to this and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to be perfect so that I cannot be hold responsible for anything outside myself.

Here to mention that this is about perfection as trying to meet other’s standards, outside myself, which is not the same as walking in and towards self-perfection, where in I commit myself to be and become the best version of myself in and as self-honesty and current location-point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be misunderstood and so, to be ‘unforgiven’ and so ‘blamed’ for, where in I then in and as this fear, I am keeping myself in this entanglement, finding myself ‘trying to explain myself’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it almost impossible to make a move that may be misunderstood and so, I do a. not move or b. stay low / keep quiet or c. move in silence / invisible or d. over-explain myself and then if and when not understood, I tend to Not make the move and instead, move into and as my mind and start doubting myself, waiting for approval from the outside as a ‘green light’ to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to ‘missing information’ and becoming fanatic and pushing within what I do see, when actually I only would like to receive and understand the missing piece so that I can be clear and stable in what I do see, as a part and as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘blame the blame and / or blamer’ in subtle ways and within this, keep cycling in the point of blame within and as myself in doing exactly that what I blame and so locking myself in.

Then, what also opened up, is a message and video of Gian, referring to 2020 as the point of No return, meaning, the equal money or global basic income should be opening up to be placed in as a point of no return, in whether we are going to make it or not as humanity on this earth.

(message Gian: “I made this video 8 years ago, and it stated the year 2020 for a reason. There was discussions about EMS being implimented by then and if not we will be too late as humanity on this earth to change anything in the realms of how much consequences we will face on this earth, I made the video under the instruction of Bernard. What was also clear was that it might not be Equal Money System as we promote it but through someone else in a little different way, like UBI and Andrew Yang and what he is promoting. We now have the Amazon Rainforests burning at alarming rates and a sign of humanity not changing course at all, 2020 was assessed back then as being the point of no return if we do not turn in a way that if forward for life on this planet by 2020.”)

Well, this seems like a whole other point, however for me it touched to ‘zero point’ within myself, in the sense that I see, realize and understand the state of the world and humanity without making it anymore beautiful and I would like to make peace with this view. Not to ‘give up’ but to embrace it all, inside and outside, as it shows the deepest saddest thing as how far away we are all from ourselves in and as life, inside and outside and an important aspect of this is the ‘blame-game’, where almost everyone is pointing fingers in some way, mostly because the mechanisms in and as the mind, are not understood for what it is and so as how it exists within myself: blame is not seen as a form of self-manipulation and so not seen as something that is harming / manipulating self first and foremost – same inside same outside.

I do feel a bit nervous when writing this down, as in ‘am I allowed to name it as this as how it is?’. Which shows a form of self-manipulation as well. To shut myself down. To ‘fear’ myself away actually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself away for the truth deeply within and without and so hiding until the point of no return.

Somehow we do believe that there is ‘always a way’ and that there is no such thing as ‘no return’. Here I have lived this in my personal life, in and as a misconception of love, where I / we did past the point of no return and no matter how I keep searching within myself, I do not see a way to ‘return to’ with one another and if and when there is a way, it would be complete self-responsibility in and as oneself as ‘the only way’. And even here it would not mean ‘a return’ to how it was but actually a return back to self.

So here, the solution that I do have an influence on at small scale, so within my reach, is to keep pushing myself to the point of self-responsibility for all that exists within me and if every one is eventually doing this – one plus one plus one – we exist in and as self-responsibility as a whole, in and as life, with no one left behind. And, to make this possible for everyone, we do need such thing as an UBI as some form of an equal money system, to give every one an equal opportunity to walk out of the survival mode, into and as life, in and as self-responsibility.

It also makes sense to me to what Cerise did point out within a picture of my face, looking at my facial expression (as some kind of supportive group-action-point that week), where she mentioned something as ‘not yet ready to embrace humanity as a whole’ which I do see related to this misunderstanding of blame as self-manipulation, within and without, as in still ‘blaming humanity’ in a way. Which of course I did understand in and as common sense as that I project something from myself ‘on humanity’; as if I am not part of it and I did ‘feel it showing in my face’ as well, so I found it quite striking and very observant from her, however as I mentioned, it only makes sense when seeing, realizing and understanding it inside and as myself in a way that I can open it up, embrace, forgive and change.

So far for today and I will see how this topic opens up more in time to come, into and as self-understanding.

In Memory of the animals that died in the recent fires but no one cares 💔

roces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive