Dag 753 – Opening up the word ‘challenge’

I have noticed within myself that I ‘do not like’ challenges; well, challenges that I see as challenges, for example in social context. The word challenge in itself I also do not like, I would prefer to skipp it from my vocabulaire lol which then indicates that I would like to skipp the challenges from ‘living them’. However this I find not to be best for myself (and others as well) because within challenges, I will be able to expand and, it is more that only in certain situations I would like to avoid the challenge where in other situations, I do not even notice something as a ‘challenge’. So, let’s see if I can ‘skipp’ or ‘delete’ some of the energetic charges that I have attached to this word and to the living of it and how I experience myself within a social challenge for example, instead of ‘skipping’ or ‘deleting’ the word itself. Then from here, I can see how to support myself within and as this word in a way that I am better able to embrace and live it without fear and resistance attached to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to almost feel like wanting to cry when and as confronted with a challenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to run away from challenges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable within a challenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with resistance immediately when and as something is mentioned as a challenge, where in many cases I do what is needed no matter what and so, I do take on the challenges to push myself through the resistance and fear.

challenge

uitdaging

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a negative association/picture coming up with the word ‘uitdaging’ as the Dutch word for ‘challenge’, where in I see it as if I am challenged through other kids to do something that I actually don’t want to do / ik word uitgedaagd door andere kinderen om iets te doen wat ik eigenlijk niet wil (Dutch); something on a school yard and then within a situation with a negative approach of each other, tending to ‘bothering’ and judging each other, instead of supporting each other to do something better or different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected the word ‘judgement’ to the word ‘challenge’ and so, expecting that within a challenge, I will always be confronted with judgements and so, I do not like to be challenged as I do not like to be judged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected the word ‘conflict’ to the word ‘challenge’ and so I do not like to take on a challenge as I do not like conflict to emerge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already approach the word ‘challenge’ within conflict and judgements within and as myself and so, also the challenge in itself I will then approach within conflict and judgements attached, which then will give an outcome of conflict and judgement because this is my starting-point determining the outcome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like ‘to be challenged’ but rather prefer to make my own challenges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word challenge or ‘to be challenged’ with something that I ‘have to do’, that I ‘must’ do, otherwise I would ‘loose’ and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word challenge within a polarity of winning or loosing.

What I do like in the Dutch word is the word ‘dagen’ which means ‘days’, but which also means that something starts to clear up / iets begint te dagen (Dutch).

So, here I can then see it more as coming ‘out’ (‘uit’ in Dutch) a specific programming in/as the mind where the physical reality starts to ‘clear up’ and so, more clarity, more of myself as my beingness can come forward and being lived.

I leave it up to here for now and will open it up more within myself in days to come.

To be continued


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

Dag 752 – Resistance and finding practical support

This morning I was listening to the interview ‘Practical Grounding Energy Definitions‘ from  the Quantum Physical series in the Eqafe Store. It gives a practical example of how we can see ourselves walking in a hall way with rooms on the left side as every day life moments that we may walk in to and rooms on the right side as moments that we eventually can create for ourselves and others involved. The hall way represents then our baseline stability of who we are where we from here, can decide to walk into the rooms as moments and deciding who we are, within and as a self-expression. Well, this is my very short description of the outlay in the interview – for detailed understanding I recommend to listen to the interview and also to the two interviews before.

I had some resistance coming up towards the description of self-expression as “self-expression is something that you access in a moment for a moment, depending on who you are with and what you are doing. When you are moving to the next moment, you let drop that expression, you return to your baseline stability of who you are and walk into the next moment”.

What I experienced here is a form of ‘ueselessness’ with how a self-expression is only here for a moment and then not ‘useful anymore’. As if I want to ‘collect’ and keep my self-expressions.

However on the end of the interview, I started seeing the bigger picture of the example and how within this approach, I will be able to better direct myself and go back to myself within and as this ‘hall-way’ (as myself in this baseline stability where “I anchor myself, ground myself, become stable, be me”) and then from here, walk into the daily situations/moments (left rooms) and practise creating new moments (right rooms). Where within the moments, I face what I have to face as for example some reactions that I then can bring back to myself and take responsibility for.

While realizing this, it gives a very ‘simple’ and directive view and way of how I can live my life. It actually gives a basic foundation of living. And from here I then need to live and practise this in my physical reality as for now, it is more a realization that gives a ‘cadre’ or lay-out of how to live in and as self-expression.

So what in the beginning gives an experience of resistance for me, is on the end of the interview giving a supportive and ‘simple’ approach that I actually like and find very useful. It shows again that where the resistance is, this is where I need push through and not believing the resistance as something that I ‘need to get away from’ but as the opposit: as something ‘where I need to be’.

A short sharing from a point that I picked up from this interview so far. Many more practical and supportive suggestions/applications are already given in this one interview and in others as well. Enjoy!

Quantum Physical – Introduction


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Uil forgive

 

 

Dag 747 – 26. A worst nightmare scenario?

The blog is related to record 26: A worst nightmare scenario

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still experience on a deep level within me, a uselessness and emptyness and ‘not making any sense’ within me as disconnected from life and as if I am ‘decleared death’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decleare myself as death somewhere without seeing, realizing and understanding how exactly I am doing this within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stuck within myself and also manifested within my phyisical body around the area of the heart and the left topcorner of the large intestine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to many times think and believe that ‘I am okay and having some purpose’ when at the same time deep within me, I experience this diffuse and undefined and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘diffuse and undefinied’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, feel and believe as if there is nothing I can do about it, as if someone else has ‘decleared me death’ that I do not have an influence on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not exactly see how I decleare myself death but looking at it, it should be related to me going into a judgement on myself and/as my environment – inner or outer – and then from here, going into a reaction and built this through time, where in I am strengthening a system within and as myself as if ‘I am right’ about this until I do not see where it all started and getting stuck within my own self-created judgemental system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave myself behind, diffuse and undefined and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my judgements and so my environment – inner and outer – define me as who I am within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to define myself through pregnancy and giving birth to a child, as if this would give me the purpose to stand up within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel worthy if I do not give birth to a child and define this as a ‘worst case scenario’ as if I ‘fail’ in my purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel worthy if I do not succeed in a relationship and define this as a ‘worst case scenario’ as if I ‘fail‘ in my purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my purpose to the succeeding of a relationship and/or a pregnancy, this on a deep level within me and feeling as if I can not change this, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I all do this to stay ‘connected’ within a relationship with myself, through my mind consciousness system and so, making my mind consciousness system ‘unmissable’ for myself in my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will die without being connected through my mind consciousness system, so actually without this ‘declaration of death’ within and as myself, as how the mind consciousness system exist through and as a judgemental system, creating energy through the polarity of judgements that has an constricting effect on myself and my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘I need my declaration of death to stay alive’, when actually, it is all in reverse, where I see, realize and understand that I need my declaration of principle as a guideline for myself, to see, realize and understand what it means to really live within consideration of what is best for myself as best for others/all, in and as this physical existence.

When and as I see myself feeling useless, empty and without purpose, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am stuck within an experience that has manifested within my physical body, build through judgements and reactions.

I commit myself to hold myself within the experience of feeling useless, empty and without purpose and to be aware to not create again any judgement towards myself about this.

I commit myself to see what living word can be of support for myself within this specific moment so that I have a replacement for the old judgemental self-definition as something to move forward with, slowly, step by step.

When and as I see myself going into judgements about how a relationship is existing or not existing, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am still holding on to a seemingly importance of relationships through the mind, which I then follow up by thinking about it from a starting-point of polarity.

I realize that I experience a fear to be alone, to really be alone and stay alone, which then is based on a fear of disappearing within a judgemental relationship with myself through my mind, as a declearation of death.

I commit myself to catch myself, to hold myself and bring myself here within this moment and within my physical reality and what is here and to focus on something physical, while at the same, time, seeing if there is an experience coming up that I can define and forgive myself for and then find a new, supportive word to live within that moment while supporting myself physically through breathing and being aware of my breath, as I can only live breath by breath and not more – when I want more, I am already disappeared in my mind, in the stories that I have build and layed and made up for myself, to not feel so alone, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I separate myself from myself when I follow the stories in my mind and so, feeling more and more lonely as I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel good enough only by myself, as if I am missing something, as if I should feel better, as if ‘love’ would make me feel better than me being alone, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that an experience of love, is creating an illusion of possibilities that first need to be checked practically, so that if and when ‘love’ comes up, I am able to direct this into a grounded and supportive way of living that is best for me, best for another and so eventually, best for all.

Previous blog: 25. Can a decision be wrong or right?

Next blog: 27. Finding my stability


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

Dag 744 – 23. Abusive relationships and dependency

This blog is related to record 23: Abusive relationships and dependency

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on another being that comes through me and/or that I come through and from here, creating consequences for myself as well as for possible others to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within dependency, create a consequence for my ability of decision making, that I can not make a decision in common sense anymore but only following up on a consequence in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from this state of dependency by thinking, speaking and acting as if I am ‘independent’ which is actually a form of revenge within and as myself for not finding what I am looking for within my dependency in/as the mind on another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am independent and making decisions, while I am actually depending on thoughts, emotions and feelings and following up on this within my decisions, thinking and believing that I make ‘my own decisions’ and not seeing that I am actually following a program in/as the mind consciousness system integrated within and as my physical body and my being following up on this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘be proud of my independency’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is more an isolation within and as my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dependent on another for my own well being in/as the mind, while my physical well being is even being compromised by my own behaviour and inner experiences to try to ‘not loose’ the one I feel dependent on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first stand by and with myself and then if I feel my reactions coming up in/as the mind, starting to doubt myself in what I at first decided.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start doubting myself in what I decided instead of taking responsibility for the reactions coming up within and as myself and stand equal to and with this and from here, see if I need anything to align as a dimension to consider as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my reactions determine how things will move forward, which they do if I do not take responsibility for it within and as myself so that I can move myself forward towards oneness and equality as what is best for myself as life as all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I will loose something or someone instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can only loose that what I have make myself dependent on in/as the mind as an inner relationship that is not best for myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that another will not take care of the inner relationship which creates consequences that are determining the outcome in a negative way up until ‘loosing each other’ and so, I rather tend to stay in a dependent relationship, trying to fill the gaps that I think and believe that another may not be willing to stand in and as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to here not see how I loose myself within a dependency in/as the mind, projected on another being within a relationship by trying to fill in the gabs and so, the further I loose myself within ‘filling the gabs’ as what I perceive as ‘gabs’ within my own thinking, the further I loose the possibility to clearly communicate with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and find solutions for another, instead of asking another what he/she sees as a possible solution and find solutions for myself in my own experience in/as the mind in a moment of trying to fill a gab as finding a solution for another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within a relationship with another, tend to ‘step in’ or ‘step out’ when I see that another is not taking responsibility within a specific point and so, creating a dependency within and as myself that I then later on want to ‘break up’ and step back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hardly be able to breathe within dependency on another or within dependency from another to me and at the same time, being busy creating this dependency myself and so, sufficating myself in and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to here become very tired and almost dizzy and fuzzy and clowdy and almost blank in what to forgive in this.

When and as I see myself going into trying to find a solution for another, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I better ask what the other sees for him/herself as solution for that moment and then perhaps add a suggestion or not.

I commit myself to find a solution for myself in stopping and directing myself in a moment of reaction of trying to find a solution for another, by supporting myself to breathe, to step back within and as myself and to first define what I experience and forgive the experience as well.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of panic when and as I see that another is not taking responsibility in a specific point, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I do not need – or will not be able to take responsibility for another but rather, take responsibility for my own experience as being first and foremost a living example of standing with and as myself.

I commit myself to breathe, step back and ‘catch myself’ so to speak in an experience of panic coming up where I then can and will further define where the panic comes from and why it comes up in this moment, to embrace myself and stand with and as myself within this moment that I may not know what to do or where to go and this is then fine.

When and as I see myself stepping back too far, as a reaction of fear towards what I see as a missing of responsibility in a specific point in another, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I have made myself dependent on the other that I react to in fear and then fear loosing the other when he/she is not taking responsibility within and as self, where I then fear to loose myself or that part of myself that I have made myself dependent in, onto another being.

I realize that I can only react ‘in fear towards what I see as the missing of responsibility in another’ if and when I did not take responsibility for myself in a specific point and so, I react because I am falling within this ‘missing’ of a part of myself.

I commit myself to keep standing within a reaction of fear, to not step forward or to not step back too far  but only stepping back within and as myself and from here, stand a moment within this position of not knowing what to do or where to go.

I commit myself to take on the challenge of stepping into the unknown of myself, while stopping to make myself dependent on another for my emotional well-being and at the same time, being aware and taking care of the inter-dependency that exist within relationships, as making sure that each participant is or will be considered equally in what each may need in that moment, which I can only clearly see when and as I stop reacting to a  fear of loosing something or someone, within and as myself and find that piece within and as myself that I missed and from here, bring it back to myself, in and as self-responsibility.

A process to be continued

20160820_205609.jpg

Previous blog: 22. Looking back without considering the mind

Next blog: 24. Expecting another chance


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

Dag 742 – 21. Opportunity to change direction

This blog is related to record 21: Opportunity to change direction

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to change direction and to step into the unknown and within this, knowing that I have somehow ‘missed an opportunity’ for expansion within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not daring to change direction and stepping into a new area, where at the same time, I saw that it may have been too much expansion within the unknown without enough practical and grounded (self-)support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel thorn for so many years between seeing a potential and living a potential and within this, feeling myself as ‘less than’ who I perceive in and as the mind that I can be, without really seeing, realizing and understanding the extensive process that is existing between seeing and living my potential that is not easily stepped in and walked as something that is most challenging for myself and everyone else to really walk in and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘think lite’ about the challenging process of stepping into the unknown and within this, letting go of the control of my own mind-programming as ‘that what I know’ and through this ‘thinking lite/light ;-)’, diminishing myself in who I am within walking what I am physically able to in that specific moment and so walk moment by moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through the eyes of my own mind and within this, create a ‘matrix’ or ‘breeding ground’ for ‘feeling less than’ and ‘feeling better than’ others in/as myself within comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create conflict within myself through a separation of my physical stability as ability, within my emotional dependency as inability in/as the mind and so creating this emotional/mind dependency as self-inability in/as the physical and sabotaging and stopping my physical ability as potential to give birth to a child (and to give birth to myself as life as well).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage and stop my own physical ability as potential to live, within listening to and living in and as my emotional dependency in/as the mind, instead of stopping my emotinal dependency in/as the mind and stepping into this physical doorway of opportunity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself physically and within and as self-expression from a starting-point of fear for the unknown, thinking and believing that I cannot make it, that I will fall into depression and fall apart and crash down if and when I would let go of this emotional dependency in/as the mind as the ‘one and only relationship’ that I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am right and make the right decision when and as I follow that what I know within my emotional dependency in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to hear another advise that is saying that I am allowed to reconsider my decision that I firstly made as a safe ground to walk on, although I do realize somewhere within that moment that I skipp a part of myself to invest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it is a possibility to skipp a part of myself to invest and thinking and believing that I ‘do come away with this’ and that I ‘can escape’ somehow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a dream as a ‘consciousness sign’ as a confirmation of my decision in safe ground and to not listen to a practical, physical advise from a friend who is opening up a dimension within and as myself that I have not yet considered, simply because I experience too much fear to open it up and rather stick to consciousness as what know and so, what I believe that I can control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to let go of my limited consciousness system if and when it is not or no longer at my advantage and to want to keep it when and as I think that it is or can be at my advantage and so, separating myself within this conflict of not standing absolute in equality and oneness as what is best for myself as live as a whole, this as a way to avoid the difficult and unknown parts within and as myself to walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to walk around the difficult parts within and as myself, thinking and believing that ‘I do not know how to do this’ but actually to avoid unpleasant experiences within and as myself (that I for example have connected to ‘not knowing how to do this’).

When and as I see myself participating in a thought of ‘I do not know how to do this’, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am avoiding an unpleasant experience within and as myself.

I commit myself to allow myself to experience the unpleasant and within this, using the tool of self-forgiveness and breathing, to walk through and see what opens up as possible solution and I commit myself to keep pushing and walking, no matter how slow it goes, no matter how tired I feel or really physically am; this can not be an indication to not push through but even more an indication that I need to keep pushing because ‘going back’, is not an option, where in I realize that this is part of the birthing process of birthing myself as life, in and as the physical, walking through all tge layers of consciousness and taking responsibility for how I have separated myself within all these systemized dimensions.

When and as I see that I ‘think lite’ of the challenging process of stepping into the unknown as no longer following consciousness programming and letting go of a control-mechanism, from myself or another, I stop and breathe.

I realize that the theory is easy but really walking it is a different story because in many layers, there are stored unpleasant experiences as moments of an experience of ‘loosing control’ as misunderstanding of what is happening and here I need to walk backwards through these experiences one by one, to be able to forgive as understand myself in this specific experience so that from here, I enable myself to change into a way that is supportive and best for myself and/as others that are involved as well.

I commit myself to keep on supporting myself within the constant and consistent application of breathing, writing and introspection within self-forgiveness as self-understanding and to do this with perseverance, to be able to stand and keep standing within the moment, without taking control in/as the mind and then seeing what opens up, no matter if I fail or fall or apparently not am moving myself and no matter how miserable I experience myself for a while or certain timeframe –  and so, I live and ground myself in and as the word perseverance.

When and as I see myself judging a control-mechanism, from myself or another, I stop and breathe.

I realize that judging in itself is a form of control as the only way that I have learned and seen in and as the mind to try to solve things, when actually the judging in itself keeps the door closed for possible and livable solutions.

I realize that the unpleasant experiences are actually coming from an idea as judgement of how things should be.

I commit myself to start with naming and forgiving the experience that comes up that I find unpleasant, in the moment that I see myself judging a control-mechanism and to name and forgive the idea as judgement within and as myself and I commit myself to first become stable within this and from here, see what needs to be directed within the situation itself that I then can open up without ‘being upset’ and ‘feeling controled’, because then I have already directed myself and so, no longer controling myself with an idea and unpleasant experience and I commit myself to keep on practising this self-stability because,

this in itself is already a change in direction within and as myself and all these little moments of apparently loosing control, are opportunities to change direction, within and as myself.

Previous blog: 20. Searching for the life within me

Next blog: 22. looking back without considering the mind

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Proces van zelfverandering:

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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

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www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

Dag 737 – Teeth, systems and self-responsibility

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Since a few months I have placed a brace in my mouth to correct my teeth. Last week I had the second check up and correction of this brace. This time I experienced more pain in some of my teeth, especially the few that they had placed a different line in between to move them, the few teeth that are more in front than others.

The same evening I was looking in the mirror and saw that some teeth already had moved. One opening that was created to create space, had been closed now and the tooth most in front was more pushed back and in between the others. Remarkable to see how fast this can go and also understandable that I feel pressure on my teeth in this.

I do not botter this ‘pain’ or pressure on my teeth so much, I rather see it as that something is happening and I do experience it as supportive, this pressure on my teeth. It is bringing my awareness more back to my mouth and this focus is bringing me more back to myself and what I need to align within/as myself.

Next morning I had some difficulties with my stool and with a cramping intestine, as I do have from time to time, and here I was laying down for a while and see what I am experiencing within myself, by gently pressing on the sensitive places. The most common experience here was ‘as if there was something done unto me’ and from here I experienced angryness.

Here I then applied some self-forgiveness on the experience and see if I have something more specific to bring back to myself. After a while I came to the realisation that actually no one ‘did something to me’ but that it was me who had done everything to myself, that I many times was ‘finding something to create some distraction’; I experienced self-blame and then again angryness about this self-blame.

As soon as I realized that it was all a ‘self-attack’ – and here I mean with realized, that I not only ‘knew this by theory’ but that I could see it within me – the pain on this teeth decreased and went away. After this I still feel the pain for a few days with eating for example, as the teeth have been moved with some pressure and this gives some kind of ‘blue’ feeling in this area for a few days.

This does not mean that I, by realizing that I attack myself and ‘do something to myself’, that I now am ‘done’ and that all tension and misalignments are solved, as I need to understand them one by one in how I have accepted and allowed myself to create these misalignments, so it is more a starting-point of self-honesty that I can walk from while taking responsibility within self-forgiveness and self-correction for the self-separating programmings within/as myself.

Here it is important to really see and realize this within and as myself, related to my own specific programmings. The theory has given the start to open this up, to work towards this self-insight, self-forgiveness and eventually self-correction and self-change; however when I do not yet have really understand this within myself and within my own specific situation and creation, it is still only theory and I will not be able to change anything within myself. My body is the perfect reference-point for this, because the discomfort and pain is only releasing when I really see and understand a point within and as myself.

This point brings me to a ‘proove for myself’ of the principle that we create our own inner discomforts and pains – and from here, I am more and more able and willing to take responsibility for my self and my own experiences and crations in/as thoughts, feelings and emotions and then again, integrated physically.

Note: here I am speaking about the created thoughts, emotions and feelings and not so much about the harmful physical circumstances that many grow up in, which is for me clear to work with because I have been fortunetely to grow up physically quite stable.

So I first then have seen that this theory and information is based on common sense and standing as a principle that is considering what is best for all, including myself, that is prooved by others and from here, I apply the given tools, to really see and understand this given information and principles integrated within myself. So that from here, I will be able to take responsibility for myself in thought, word and deed, step by step, day by day. 

The interesting thing in this process from consciousness to awareness that I now walk with the support of correcting my teeth, is that I can use this to align myself with some related pre-programmings and then from here, learn to direct myself within, to stand ‘my ground’ so to speak. So that I will be able to less and less, allow myself to be moved by the automatic and/or preprogrammings within/as myself. Because as long as I exist within these programmings, I am not considering what is best for myself and/as life as a whole, in/as this physical existence.

Here I have to come to understand how I created this within and as myself, as a survival of my own mind-consciousness-system and if I really understand and so, forgive myself; while doing so, I enable myself to start moving myself without being influenced by automatic thoughts, emotions and feelings coming up. So that I am and will be able to more and more make decisions that are trustable and best for all.

Some back-ground information on the mouth-point and the teeth by Veno:

4.) MOUTH point

The MOUTH point is the ‘holder’ of the pre-programmed life experience of yourself here on earth within the White Light gridline structure – referred to as your ‘blueprints’.

As you ‘come of age’ you lose your first set of teeth that had come out. The first fresh beautiful set of teeth that come out when you are a child I will refer to as your ‘Pure Teeth’. They are pure from the perspective that they are developed from within the pure life essence resonance foundation as who you really are and actually support who you really are. Yet, here come the designers of consciousness enslavement and control systems and implement a system within your entire physical body as you develop in the mother’s womb, which is actually transferred to you through the ‘sins of the fathers’ principle, that ‘push out’ your ‘Pure Teeth’ and replace it with ‘System Teeth’.

The ‘System Teeth’ carry the blueprints of your entire life experience here on earth, meaning that the blueprints as your ‘System Teeth’ carry your entire pre-programmed life within the White Light gridline structure. The moment your ‘Pure Teeth’ fall out and are replaced with your ‘System Teeth’ – your entire life, all the experiences of yourself here on earth, is programmed and infused within the White Light gridline structure on earth. Because your ‘System Teeth’ carry the blueprints of your pre-programmed life here on earth within the White Light gridline structure – the two lock in together and voila: You are ready to experience your manifested pre-programmed life here on earth.

Your entire life experience on earth has been pre-programmed humanity – and it’s all allocated in the blueprints of the teeth you currently have! Understand that the blueprints of the ‘System Teeth’ that are developed and come through when your ‘Pure Teeth’ fall out – is transferred from within the preprogrammed mind consciousness system already manifested and infused within you while you were busy being developed in the mother’s womb. And this is how the consciousness systems within you started manifesting into an actual becoming here on earth as you experience yourself: The consciousness systems manifested as you grow, physically and mentally in this world as indicated by the teething process. Therefore the teeth you now have is supporting consciousness systems as who and what you have become and accepted yourself to be – as you live and experience yourself within your pre-programmed life design.

(NOTE: I am not saying that you must pull all your teeth. In PART FOUR I will be giving all practical examples of how to support yourselves and the children to come in not having to be controlled and enslaved, but to take your own power and direct yourself as who you really are within which this part I have explained above will be placed into perspective for you. So pause on pulling the teeth.)

(Veno – Structoral Resonance point Part 2 Phase 1)

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

 

Dag 734 – Blame, projection and fear of loss

blame

Following up on the previous blog:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what it is that I fear within manipulation tactics as in a situation where thoughts are projected on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become very tired now when I start writing this blog and experiencing some kind of blankness where in I do not see any point to write self-forgiveness about, as if I only can close my eyes and want to go to sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘I can never do this’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience an unability to do this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know how to walk through and keep standing within a situation where thoughts and feelings and emotions are projected on me as a form of manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to go away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for going away out of reaction in/as fear and within this, enlarging or fueling a possible reaction in another who then also goes away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the other goes away as a reaction on my reaction of going away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how to stop this cat and mouse game, other than by going away, which is not what I want or see as a real solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to totally panic when another is going away, however when another is coming within panic to me, I also tend to go away out of fear of the reactions from another when and as I am not doing as how they want or expect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I never satisfy enough and that I am not given the time to see within myself what I want and how to do this and so, feeling like I am  always ‘too late’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to please the other in/as the mind, out of a fear of loss as an experience within myself when another is going away, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that in pleasing another in/as the mind, I go away from myself and here I am actually pleasing my own mind as pleasing my own fear (of loss) and so, fullfilling my own fear (of loss) in loosing myself in trying to please myself or/as another in/as the mind, as in a closed circle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that only consequenses will be created where in another don’t see the consequences and I am not able to direct myself effectively within in the consequences and so the point of creation gets lost and distracted in consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make another see the point of blame as projection in/as the mind, so that from here, we can be together, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can not ‘make another see’ and that my starting-point here is actually still in/as the mind located as in a fear of loss and so, I will firstly create the loss as how I fear, through the point of blame as projection on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it frightening how far we all go/have gone in/as the mind to abdicate responsibility, within blame as projections of our own thoughts, feelings and emotions on something or someone outside ourselves, instead of bringing the thoughts, feelings and emotions back to self and start understanding/forgiving where they come from and so, start taking responsibility for ourselves in/as our own mind and stop blaming something or someone within/without.

When and as I see blame/projection towards me or another, within the words/behaviour of someone in conversation with me, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I cannot easily ‘make another see’ how the mind exist as a projection-system and so in/as the manifestation of blame, however I do can decide to not participate and to make this clear, for example by walking away, by saying some words or by simply/literally mentioning that I do not participate in a conversation with blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in blame by accepting and allowing it, coming forward out of fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to do everything good and perfect so that another cannot blame me for anything and through this, the other will eventually bring the point of blame back to self, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that 1. I will also make mistakes that I then need to correct that can be used against me and 2. another will always be able to find something to start blaming with by projecting one’s own thoughts, feelings and emotions on me in some way, when I do not as they are pleased by, and from here, using one’s own thoughts, feelings and emotions projected on me, as a reason to blame me and so, abdicate one’s own responsibility.

I commit myself to not participate in a point of blame, not within myself and not within conversation with another and if I see that I do so, to look within myself what makes that I am doing this, what I fear to loose and take responsibility for this within/as myself through understanding/forgiving myself for this point and participation.

To be continued after investigating Desperation and Communication Awareness as a dimension of creating this ‘picture’ that someone else sees of me and that I then fear to be defined as/blamed for.

the-design-of-fear-of-loss


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www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive