Dag 758 – Looking within self

A short update of the inner process that I walk day by day, looking within myself what comes up in moments and how it can play out if I am not aware of my thoughts and emotions.

Last week I had more of an insight what goes on within me, before I go into an interpretation and so, reaction towards a situation but actually, towards my own created interpretation of a situation. An aspect that I found is that I was sort of ‘speaking up’ of what I would not go into anymore, however what I saw quite fast after this and actually already while doing so, is that it was more that I had not yet stand up in it for and within myself and really decided for myself what I would accept and allow and what not. And then I go into a projection towards another or towards a situation as in a ‘speaking up’ in that moment, which is then actually creating a possibility for conflict or consequences.

I did see how I could do differently and then within voicing myself about a certain point, in a moment to come, which then is supportive for myself as well as it can be for another, but I had already build up energy that I was now releasing in this ‘speaking up’ and in this way no longer accepting and allowing something within myself, however I used the situation as a mirrow to start seeing how it was all about me in that moment.

The remarkable thing is that I realized some of it in the moment that I started to build it up in the same day earlier, where a thought was activated within me and from here an emotion arised, from where I went into an ‘expectation’ that it would play out as how I was feeling about it. And from here, very fast, I created the situation in a way where in I played out my own expectation.

Luckily the other who was involved did not go into it with me and only described what happened on their side and from here I could easily bring the point back to myself and voice myself in taking responsibility for the situation and for the emotion that I recognized as jealousy coming up, which is something to investigate further within/for myself as it has many aspects in it I may not have directly recognized as jeaulousy, however it has a destructive energy in it.

The cool part of this small situation and my interpretation playing out, is that in doing so and taking the responsibility and sharing about it while walking, it is giving a more equal standing with who I am sharing this, as it gives an insight of what I walk inside myself and then shows how we are all having similar challenges within ourselves with facing our own interpretations and emotions coming up. I find this gives for each who is involved, more space to understand oneself and each other without going into judgements.

More challenges to come, however also cool to recognize the progress within self and each other.

I can truly say that what I am now writing about is the result of walking the Desteni I process for years now, where in I actually can see a ‘mind-construct’ playing out within myself as something that I have learned to walk within the writings in the lessons and in the blogs as well (and what I am still doing). It is an effective way of getting to know myself in who I am in my mind and how my mind-being-body relationship is existing and influencing me every day and then being able to take responsibility for myself in this as in learning to give myself direction within and as this internal relationships in a way that is considering and caring the life within and without.

For who is interested check it out: Desteni I process courses


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

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Dag 754 – To never accept and allow it again

I was listening to the life Review of Real Forgiveness versus Feel Good Forgiveness and while listening, also looking at a point within myself that I have been walking for years. In the interview is mentioned how the self-forgiveness is not neccessarily or eventually giving a ‘good feeling’ about something that has been taken responsibility for, as one still has to live with the fact what one has accepted and allowed and created as consequence.

In the days before, I was looking into the fact that I had brought myself into the situation that lead up to making the decision to have an abortion (I have made a serie records about it as well as written related blogs) and I found that there were still experiences coming up of a deep regret of not having the possibility to give birth to a child in this life. I felt myself going deeper into my body, into the area where the ovaria are located and here I could release again a deeper dimension of the experience of regret, related to the abortion, up to the point of finding myself in a stability within this, of living with this situation, this decision and experience. So, I did not ‘feel better’ with it and that is what I saw for years and years; that I still do not ‘feel good’ with this situation that I needed to make a decision in (keeping the child or not). But, I did come to a point of stability in it, deep within myself.

However, during the listening of the interview, there was mentioned that the gift of such things, is that we will never, ever accept and allow something like this again within ourselves and so for others as well. And here I was looking, then what is the point in this that I will not accept and allow again within myself?

I somehow was still, on a very subtile level, allowing myself to not stand absolute and take absolute responsibility for the creation of the situation that brings forward the need to make a decision of an abortion (or not). And here I noticed that an abortion in itself, does have an impact. It is a decision that one would rather not come to stand for; meaning, better prevent oneself to ever have to make such decision. I was still busy justifying how an abortion – if and when needed – does not have to be ‘such big deal’,  if one is certain and clear in it or, that one could have problems with it because one would rather had kept the child but circomstances were not certain enough to give birth to a child and so this friction is then giving the ‘problems’ or inner conflict.

I did miss the point that, the decision to an abortion, is a decision about life, about giving life or not. Once the life is settled within the body and starts growing, no matter on what stage, it is ‘in motion’ and one is very much experiencing this movement, this life-force. Well, that is, I realize now, how I have experienced it.

So from here, making a decision to let it grow or take it away, is not an easy decision, even if one is certain and sure about what way to walk. This is something that I never really understood, as it was only approached from a morality point of ‘being against abortion’ for example for religion reasons or ethical reasons. I now see where this ‘reasons’ and morality comes from: the fruit is a life-force that has started growing within a body and stopping this force, is also asking for a ‘forcing’ in a way, which is then a forcing ‘against life’ or ‘against this movement of life developping on a physical level’.

Here to be very clear that I am not labeling an abortion as ‘good or bad’, but more seeing it for what it is in essence.

If I look at the concept from this starting-point, it is something to be much more carefull with, also for myself. Because, me, forcing the stopping of this life growing within me, has brought me to a form stagnation of the life-ex[ression within and as myself. Because I did not see the totality and impact of what was happening within and as me and what I had brought myself into and because I created conflict within and as myself.

Let’s have a look at the situation in general, now from a point where I am 44 years:

I have not yet been in the position of creating a stable relationship and/or stability within and as myself where in I could say, yes, I and we are ready to take the responsibility for giving birth to a child. Only now I can say that I find myself stable enough to take this responsibility but, only within a relationship for a year that is not really stable at the moment and from which I say, this relationship needs about 6 years more to stabilize before I could call it a ‘stable foundation’ for a new life to grow into. So, for me, to have the stable foundation that I would self-honestly want to bring in for a child to grow up in, I would be about 50 years old. Only then, I could start with a pregnancy, which is obviously not possible from a physical/biological point of view. So, looking at my life, I can say that there had not been the ideal circomstances and possibility to get pregnant and give birth to a child in a responsible way.

I must have known and felt this already back then, without having the tools to change myself fast enough in this (fast enough meaning, before my fertile years are over) and so, what I started doing, was ‘forcing’ it a bit through creating situations where I was not really and 100% careful to prevent a pregnancy happen. So that I then had created a situation where in ‘I could not do different’ and would fulfill the pregnancy, simply because it was ‘already here’.

However, when this did happen – I created this situation for myself – my self-honesty and responsibility did kick in, in some way and I had placed myself in a situation of choosing between two ‘not ideal’ situations: an abortion or giving birth to a child within a situation that was not how I self-honestly, would want it to be. I have choosen the first: abortion. And this, is something that I underestimated the impact from.

I even saw now, when 44 and almost within a stage of the impossibility to become pregnant, how I again, in a very subtile way, did not take fully responsibility for the prevention of a pregnancy. Within this, I did see in what state I bring myself in for days, within creating this ‘uncertainty’ within myself (like ‘oh my, what if I am pregnant?’ and from here all the feelings and emotions generating) and then, what consequences it would have on my life but on the life of my partner as well, who I agreed with that we are not going to get any children (due to our living situation in general and my age). And only by now, after listening to this interview, I realized that I still did not fully take the responsibility for the fact that I do not have children during my life here in earth and that there was actually not really and not ever, a stable enough situation to become pregnant.

This is basicely the thing that I needed to take responsibility for, already when I was 27 and this ‘desire’ or wish came up. And who knows how things would have enfolded with this, from a starting-point of self-honesty, self-responsibility and with common sense. But by avoiding this, I created a lot of turmoil, regret and pain within myself and within others as well by accepting and allowing a pregnancy that I found I needed to break down, against my deep wish to keep the child.

So, from here, I will take the full responsibility to be aware and careful, also on a subtile level, with regards to the prevention of a pregnancy, no matter how small the chances are at my age and I will take the full responsibility for the process that I have walked with regards to giving birth to a child or not during this lifetime on earth, including the decision of an abortion. Within this I hope to bring this responsibility into the world as something that we all need to stand in and as: to only start with the responsibility of giving birth to a child and guiding it to grow up, if we are really and fully ready for this. This in itself, will bring a huge change in this world for our children to come and also as a solution for the over-population that may exist.

I am not saying this from a point of morality or judgement, as I see clearly how far I – and so many of us – are lost in this biological reproduction cycle. So I know as no other how hard it can be to stand up in this for, within and as oneself.

So, not to state that abortion is now something that we can not use when and as needed – as it can be a solution that is best in a certain moment and situation, it all depends on the context and all dimensions involved – but more as something to be much more careful with and really see it for what it is, without morality and judgement, but from a starting-point as what is best for all and from a starting-point of seeing the impact of stopping the life-force growing and developing.

In a way, I have ‘aborted’ myself as life way too much, in so many aspects deep within myself and this is waiting for myself to open up and this was already waiting for myself to open up way back, before I created this conflictual situation at the age of 27.

Let’s support each other in the challenging process to birth ourselves as life from the physical so that we eventually will be able to prevent so many conflictual situations as consequences, within and without ourselves.

Thanks for reading!


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 741 – Can I learn to empathize?

Certain people are ‘by nature’ more empathic than others. It can be so because of how one has grown up; it can be pre-programmed. This doesn’t automatically mean that one is doing ‘what is best for all’ as then again, one can be for example ‘over-empathizing’ and forget to take care of oneself.

However, what if you notice that you do not really be emphatic by nature and so, noticing that this has consequences for others and for self as well? What if you ‘don’t feel’ what it means to be empathic, if you do not ‘feel’ what others may need for example and so, easily walk over others without even noticing?

I can start with an example of myself in this. I can say that I am empathic by nature, I also am a female, who often have learned to develop some empathic qualities. However I have also noticed an aspect within myself where I easily and automatically, could let someone ‘drop down’ or ‘fall down’, within the thought/believe that some can or should take care of that aspect within themselves, without looking further within their nature for example and seeing if they may need some support in this.

Within this, I did not ‘feel’ that I ‘wanted to help’, coming from a starting-point that we each should take care of ‘our own business’, as how I have developped this within myself. What I did feel in this, is quilt, for not being helpful enough, for not giving enough, although no one really had said such things to me. It was more existing on a subtile level where I somehow saw that I could do more but I did not (want to) do this and did also not know how to take this on. With the consequence that I also found it more difficult to receive ‘help’ from others as I found that I did not deserve this (because I was not giving it eather).

So this gave a subtile conflict within myself on the background that was interfering within my social interaction and communication in many ways.

I have in real time walked a path to correct this; first with animals, where I for years, have taken care of quinea pigs and rabbits that became older and needed a lot of support where I had ‘to give it my all’ to get them through as long as possible. I also have walked a relationship with someone who needed a lot of support that I ‘did not feel like giving’ and that I actually ‘did not really want’. But, I did, because then I already understood what it means to start walking by principle. Understanding meaning that I understood the theory of this.

With the animals, I had to step out of an experience of feeling paralized and not being able to take action, also related to a limited amount of money to spend for physical support and from here, not knowing where to start when an animal became ill for example. I have walked many situations with these beings and it was amazing to do this. What was supporting me here, is that I did want to do it for the animals as I really and naturally ‘like’ the animals but I had to step over idea’s of ‘how much you spend and do for an animal like a rabbit or a quinea pig’. Strange idea’s, as if these little animals deserve less care than a bigger animal or a human being. But there was also a fear of ‘not having enough for myself’ in this as a point of self-interest existing within me.

Within the relationship, I learned to walk it because I could see the consequences of what would happen if I would not do the best I could and especially I learned how this would reflect back on me within myself, staying busy with doubts and questions about myself, where experiences of guilt were keeping me busy and eventually ending up within the need to ‘go back and correct myself’ and do it over again. We can also call this a ‘timeloop’. I mainly experienced this whole pattern as a ‘fear of loss’ within me and so, the ‘fear of loss’ did have been the motivation to push myself to do better and still does in many moments – to eventually and while doing so, come to a point of creation, free from this experience inside myself.

But, I did not do this because it felt natural or because I naturally wanted this. I did do this because I had learned – while walking this relationship – what it means to walk in principle and I saw I could do better. So I did not need to ‘feel’ it but could make the decision to walk it anyway, to support another (and so myself) where I can within my capacity and of course from a starting-point of common sense,  to not ‘help’ another with things that another need to learn for self but to support where another did not yet have developped an effective application and where I did not have developped this as well and so, ‘supporting another’ was/is the development in itself for myself as self-support.

This is the great thing about principled living, that in the end, the self-support is supporting another and supporting another, is supporting self.

Why am I writing this blog?

To bring forward that if and when we do understand what it means to walk by principle and when and as we have made the decision within ourself to stand by this and do and develop this every day again, that it is possible to learn for example what it means to live ‘empathy’, not because we ‘feel empathy inside ourselves’ and whatever this may mean, but from a starting-point of ‘giving as you would like to receive’ and ‘considering another’ from a starting-point of principled living within equality and oneness, where every living being deserves to be treated with support where needed and where self-honestly possible.

When I had walk through all of this (it took several years all together), I did came back to my self-will about what I want, within my life, within a relationship and with who I want to walk this, while testing what is practically possible and taking the time to see who I am willing to stand by and walk with as myself and who is willing to do the same with me. However I did have to let go of personal preferences for several years, to be able to stand up and keep standing within my utmost potential and the challenges that this gives every day.

So, empathy does not so much contain an experience or a feeling – although it can be a starting-point for those who do experience this naturally. Empathy can be practically learned and applied within a starting-point of principled living as what is best for all. These principles, they can be described, tested and cross-referenced within a self-agreement and from this agreement with and as self, it can be expanded towards an ‘agreement’ with others (family, friends, colleques, intimate relationships), as simply ‘rules’ that are considering all participants in a way that does not leave anyone behind without being heard or seen but at the same time, supporting each other to create a self-responsibility and self-dependency where needed, to be and become able to stand on our own two feet.

There is much more detail to write about this empathy. Here is a link where one can start walking this agreement within and as self, by first understanding the theory of how we actually function as a human being and also a link to a document where the basic-principles are described and commited to stand by. Without this support, I would not have been able to stabilize and grow as how I did so far and I am very much still learning and expanding in this, still with the support that is available within Desteni and that is practical and applyable in our every day live.


Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 739 – My process with sleeping – back then and now

 

Let’s take a moment to look at some changes that I have walked during the last 6 years in the time that I am walking with others, together in a group named Desteni. It is an individual process from consciousness to awareness, yet it is a process that I cannot walk alone, as I need others who are walking in the same principle, as support and point of cross-reference but also first and foremost, to receive the ungoing ‘information’ that I do not have access to by myself, simply because we each have our own path and specific access to certain area’s. – as for example the information that is given via the Portal that I then can use and investigate for and within myself.

Within this I realize every day that what I am walking now, I would not be able to do in this way without this group. It is like I could see the potential within myself but I was not able to bring it into application and so, it was more an idea of what ‘could be possible’ but where I at the same time, could not comprehend that I really could do it and actually do it.

I will start with a very small example that is practical, visible and open for investigation and application for everyone. This example is….the hours of sleep every night.

Before 2011, I was sleeping about 9 hours each night. For several years, I did not feel so well physically and with this amount of sleeping, I was able to keep myself up and running for the responsibility of taking care of myself and the house and going to work to have an amount of money to live from. At some point in spring 2011, when I already had investigated articles that Desteni is providing, I decided to bring this amount of sleep back to first 7,5 hours. So I stood up early in the morning and allowed myself to have 1 extra cup of coffee (with a maximum of total 3 small cups a day, where before I had 2 each day – here to note that I do well on some coffee, related to my bloodgroup A, however when I drink more than 3 a day, it makes me restless and uncomfortable).

For three days, I felt dull and sleepy. But I just sit through and after a few days, this went away and here, I was able to sleep 7,5 hours each night.

This was the easy step; after this I have been walking several years to bring this back to be able to sleep 6 hours a night, however I still notice that I tend to sleep a little longer, but not longer than 7-7,5 hours. This is interesting already in itself, as it shows that this 9 hours was not needed at all, not even in a period where I did not feel well physically.

In this years after 2011, I felt myself many times ‘struggling’ with this sleep. I experienced the influence when I slept too long, where I find myself ‘too much in my mind’, feeling dull, not able to direct myself and struggling with this waking up moment every morning, where the struggles mostly existed out of self-judgements about this point.

After a few years, I decided to buy an alarm that wakes up with first some ‘daylight’ coming up and then some sounds of nature. This supported me to make it a more ‘organic’ process and here, I actually started to really support and embrace myself in this, instead of keeping on judging myself about things that I was not yet applying.

I also noticed – when I was in South-Africa for a month, living in nature at the farm, together with other members of Desteni – that I could do with 5,5 hours of sleep. A site-note here is that at 21.00 in the evening, I then had difficulty to stay awake during a group-chat for example but as far as I can see, this is something that I could train myself in as well.

What I do notice when I am here in The Netherlands, is that I do naturally wake up after 5,5-6,5 hours sleep and I feel most relaxed when I have 6,5-7 hours in bed so that I do not start ‘worrying’ about not ‘having enough time to sleep’. However I am more flexible, where I sometimes sleep less. I am then tired but still able to do my tasks and then next night, I sleep 6-7 hours again.

I also notice that I still tend to stay in bed longer than my body really needs, however I am not so much making a problem of it anymore and actually waking up every morning between 6.00 and 6.30.

I very rarely tested to sleep a lot also for example during the day, in a moment that I was walking through a difficult point within myself, however here I do notice that I physically and mentally, start feeling more and more dull and slow and ‘waking up’ then really hurts, where it is as if I then first need to push through my mind-systems before I am ‘here’ in my physical and this process is then repeating when falling back to sleep, waking up, going through this painfull experience etc until I stand up again.

From here, my next challenge is to be able to sleep when there is not so much silence around me, while for example sleeping with someone else next to me. The sleeping-process is still something for me to have attention for and find a balance in. I do need a quiet rest every night/most of the nights, to keep myself physically stable and so, there is still some panic coming up if I notice that this may be disturbed, especially if it is for more than one night. After a ‘broken’ night, I do not function so well through the day and I am not so much able to enjoy myself, but then only ‘pushing through the day until I can go to sleep’.

So this sleeping-process, it can be quite something to take on as it has many aspects/dimensions related to it to consider and investigate. However, a 9 hours night-rest, it is not needed, and so is not the 8 hours each night in most cases (where I leave out the specific situations of for example illnesses, extreme heavy physical labour and exhaution, as these can be conditions that need a different and individual approach).

I have lived this proof for myself now for many years and as I have showed in the beginning of this blog; if there is one ‘person’ who was ‘convinced that I need my sleep’, then it was me!

Interesting to already shortly mention that my physical well-being and condition did improve as well through the last 6 years, where I will in time to come, write more about and what I also already did write a lot about in several blogs here. The ‘long sleeping’ was more a way to keep myself surviving, because of a lack of effective tools to support myself within the suppressive effect of my mind consciousness system on my physical well-being. So I did both: bringing back the amount of sleep and bringing in the self-support that I received (and am receiving) via Desteni.

To be continued. Thanks.

Questions and Perspectives: Sleeping (only 4-6 hours required):

(…)

Sleeping is also pre-programmed within and as the mind consciousness system within human beings – when you ‘sleep’ this is when the mind consciousness system ‘regenerates’ and ‘rejuvenates’ itself in preparation for ‘another day’ when you’ll be ‘actively participating’ as a mind consciousness system within this world as the unified consciousness field – thus the mind consciousness system will ‘while you’re asleep’ ‘dig into’ and ‘submerge’ itself into the subconscious and unconscious mind to allocate memory banks, thoughts, past experiences etc. – to merge / rise / install within your conscious mind, so when you participate within your daily ‘life experience’ you’ll have a ‘new fresh set of thoughts / thoughts patterns’ to pre-occupy you with.

Thus – the ‘sleep stages’ are actually where you submerge you within yourself, while your mind submerges you and takes you ‘with it’ from the conscious mind, into the subconscious mind straight through to the unconscious mind – (your deep sleep), see the mind takes you with it, because it cannot exist without you – and the mind can only take you on this journey through the mind stages to rejuvenate and regenerate when you’re ‘asleep’ so you don’t actually know this is really happening.

Thus – ‘sleeping’ is an automated constructed system within and as your mind consciousness system – to ‘keep it going’ – to ‘keep you going’ as a mind consciousness system. Thus – this is where dreaming takes places – dreams were the diversion for human beings to not actually see/experience/un­derstand what really happens when they dream in any way whatsoever. You ‘think’ you’re dreaming – but your mind system is actually taking you on its journey through the mind stages into the unconscious mind – to ‘dig’ and ‘search’ for thought patterns / behaviours / system alignments from the ‘global unconscious as the unified consciousness field’ – to install within you, to ‘implant’ within you – to ‘pre-occupy’ you through another day – and so this continues every evening you sleep – this is the procedure that takes place.

Then when you wake up all ‘groggy’ it’s you together with the mind as the mind – rising up from within the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious – when you’re ‘awake’ – you’re fully / completely within and as the conscious mind.

The reason why the world says 8 – 9 hours sleep – is because the entire procedure takes 8 – 9 hours for full completion – installation and implantation of unconscious mind manifestations to be infused within and as your own mind consciousness system.

Though – what we have done with regards to dreams is the following – instead of you going within and as your own mind journey through the mind stages – we’ve compressed all three mind stages to one singular point within you as you – where we ‘brought together everything and all of you to one singular point within the mind as all three mind stages’. Thus – when you sleep – you don’t submerge anymore – but is placed within this one singular point – where dreams are inserted which assist and support you within the current point placement of yourself within your process – thus – dreams now assist and support you with regards to where you are in your process currently – the ‘point’ of you within yourself.

That’s why we suggest only 4 – 6 hours sleep – this is all you require – because if you sleep longer than this – you’ll move beyond this point placement of you within you and submerge with your mind into the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind – thus you giving your mind the opportunity to regenerate and rejuvenate itself – by installing and implanting manifestation within you from other human beings in this world through the unconscious mind unified field connection / interconnection – and have experiences / reactions within you – that’s not even of you – but believe to be you – then the moment you believe it to be you – you make it your own – and thus so ingrain the reactions/beha­viours within and as your own mind consciousness system.

4 – 6 Hours sleep is sufficient – it’s all your human physical body requires – because then it’s not sleep per say – but resting your human physical body for a moment. It will take some diligence to ‘re-set’ yourself to only sleep 4 – 6 hours a day – though each have the will to do this.

Will do the self forgiveness list as well – though – here for the moment – diligence and discipline to only sleep for 4 – 6 hours maximum.

Also read: Jack – Self-Forgiveness – Sleeping

————————————————————————————————–

Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

 

Dag 737 – Teeth, systems and self-responsibility

17121307_1050643231706981_2093847216_o

Since a few months I have placed a brace in my mouth to correct my teeth. Last week I had the second check up and correction of this brace. This time I experienced more pain in some of my teeth, especially the few that they had placed a different line in between to move them, the few teeth that are more in front than others.

The same evening I was looking in the mirror and saw that some teeth already had moved. One opening that was created to create space, had been closed now and the tooth most in front was more pushed back and in between the others. Remarkable to see how fast this can go and also understandable that I feel pressure on my teeth in this.

I do not botter this ‘pain’ or pressure on my teeth so much, I rather see it as that something is happening and I do experience it as supportive, this pressure on my teeth. It is bringing my awareness more back to my mouth and this focus is bringing me more back to myself and what I need to align within/as myself.

Next morning I had some difficulties with my stool and with a cramping intestine, as I do have from time to time, and here I was laying down for a while and see what I am experiencing within myself, by gently pressing on the sensitive places. The most common experience here was ‘as if there was something done unto me’ and from here I experienced angryness.

Here I then applied some self-forgiveness on the experience and see if I have something more specific to bring back to myself. After a while I came to the realisation that actually no one ‘did something to me’ but that it was me who had done everything to myself, that I many times was ‘finding something to create some distraction’; I experienced self-blame and then again angryness about this self-blame.

As soon as I realized that it was all a ‘self-attack’ – and here I mean with realized, that I not only ‘knew this by theory’ but that I could see it within me – the pain on this teeth decreased and went away. After this I still feel the pain for a few days with eating for example, as the teeth have been moved with some pressure and this gives some kind of ‘blue’ feeling in this area for a few days.

This does not mean that I, by realizing that I attack myself and ‘do something to myself’, that I now am ‘done’ and that all tension and misalignments are solved, as I need to understand them one by one in how I have accepted and allowed myself to create these misalignments, so it is more a starting-point of self-honesty that I can walk from while taking responsibility within self-forgiveness and self-correction for the self-separating programmings within/as myself.

Here it is important to really see and realize this within and as myself, related to my own specific programmings. The theory has given the start to open this up, to work towards this self-insight, self-forgiveness and eventually self-correction and self-change; however when I do not yet have really understand this within myself and within my own specific situation and creation, it is still only theory and I will not be able to change anything within myself. My body is the perfect reference-point for this, because the discomfort and pain is only releasing when I really see and understand a point within and as myself.

This point brings me to a ‘proove for myself’ of the principle that we create our own inner discomforts and pains – and from here, I am more and more able and willing to take responsibility for my self and my own experiences and crations in/as thoughts, feelings and emotions and then again, integrated physically.

Note: here I am speaking about the created thoughts, emotions and feelings and not so much about the harmful physical circumstances that many grow up in, which is for me clear to work with because I have been fortunetely to grow up physically quite stable.

So I first then have seen that this theory and information is based on common sense and standing as a principle that is considering what is best for all, including myself, that is prooved by others and from here, I apply the given tools, to really see and understand this given information and principles integrated within myself. So that from here, I will be able to take responsibility for myself in thought, word and deed, step by step, day by day. 

The interesting thing in this process from consciousness to awareness that I now walk with the support of correcting my teeth, is that I can use this to align myself with some related pre-programmings and then from here, learn to direct myself within, to stand ‘my ground’ so to speak. So that I will be able to less and less, allow myself to be moved by the automatic and/or preprogrammings within/as myself. Because as long as I exist within these programmings, I am not considering what is best for myself and/as life as a whole, in/as this physical existence.

Here I have to come to understand how I created this within and as myself, as a survival of my own mind-consciousness-system and if I really understand and so, forgive myself; while doing so, I enable myself to start moving myself without being influenced by automatic thoughts, emotions and feelings coming up. So that I am and will be able to more and more make decisions that are trustable and best for all.

Some back-ground information on the mouth-point and the teeth by Veno:

4.) MOUTH point

The MOUTH point is the ‘holder’ of the pre-programmed life experience of yourself here on earth within the White Light gridline structure – referred to as your ‘blueprints’.

As you ‘come of age’ you lose your first set of teeth that had come out. The first fresh beautiful set of teeth that come out when you are a child I will refer to as your ‘Pure Teeth’. They are pure from the perspective that they are developed from within the pure life essence resonance foundation as who you really are and actually support who you really are. Yet, here come the designers of consciousness enslavement and control systems and implement a system within your entire physical body as you develop in the mother’s womb, which is actually transferred to you through the ‘sins of the fathers’ principle, that ‘push out’ your ‘Pure Teeth’ and replace it with ‘System Teeth’.

The ‘System Teeth’ carry the blueprints of your entire life experience here on earth, meaning that the blueprints as your ‘System Teeth’ carry your entire pre-programmed life within the White Light gridline structure. The moment your ‘Pure Teeth’ fall out and are replaced with your ‘System Teeth’ – your entire life, all the experiences of yourself here on earth, is programmed and infused within the White Light gridline structure on earth. Because your ‘System Teeth’ carry the blueprints of your pre-programmed life here on earth within the White Light gridline structure – the two lock in together and voila: You are ready to experience your manifested pre-programmed life here on earth.

Your entire life experience on earth has been pre-programmed humanity – and it’s all allocated in the blueprints of the teeth you currently have! Understand that the blueprints of the ‘System Teeth’ that are developed and come through when your ‘Pure Teeth’ fall out – is transferred from within the preprogrammed mind consciousness system already manifested and infused within you while you were busy being developed in the mother’s womb. And this is how the consciousness systems within you started manifesting into an actual becoming here on earth as you experience yourself: The consciousness systems manifested as you grow, physically and mentally in this world as indicated by the teething process. Therefore the teeth you now have is supporting consciousness systems as who and what you have become and accepted yourself to be – as you live and experience yourself within your pre-programmed life design.

(NOTE: I am not saying that you must pull all your teeth. In PART FOUR I will be giving all practical examples of how to support yourselves and the children to come in not having to be controlled and enslaved, but to take your own power and direct yourself as who you really are within which this part I have explained above will be placed into perspective for you. So pause on pulling the teeth.)

(Veno – Structoral Resonance point Part 2 Phase 1)

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.


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Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
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Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

Dag 713 – De stem van leven

wipwap

Het wordt me in een moment duidelijk hoe we uiteindelijk zullen kunnen staan als de ‘stem van leven’ en dat hierin het persoonlijke er niet meer toe doet. Hiermee bedoel ik dat ik niet tot uitdrukking breng ‘wat ik vind’ maar dat ik een stem geef aan een principe waar ik voor sta die al het leven in overweging neemt, inclusief mijzelf en/als een ander als leven.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het persoonlijk te nemen als ik een principe verwoord en dit met weerstand wordt ontvangen, waarin ik me al bij voorbaat, als ik het inbreng, in een ervaring van verantwoordelijkheid bevind en dan verantwoordelijk voor hoe een ander zich hierin zal voelen waardoor ik me vervolgens onprettig/onzeker zal/zou voelen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mijn eigen ervaring ‘in het leven te roepen’ door vanuit een ervaring te spreken waarop een reactie komt waarop ik weer reageer.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb door vanuit een ervaring te spreken – dus ergens in afgescheidenheid van mezelf – vervolgens een bevestiging te willen of verwachten van degene naar wie ik het heb uitgesproken en me zo afhankelijk te maken van mijn reactie op een reactie (die al dan niet komt) van een ander en me zo, dus afhankelijk van een ander (feitelijk van ‘die ander in/als mijn eigen geest’) te maken in wat ik uitspreek/in expressie breng.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb steeds maar niet te hebben begrepen hoe Bernard niet langer als Bernard bestaat maar in en als Leven en dat ‘Bernard’ een belichaming was voor hem als leven hier op aarde, tot aan dit moment waarin ik zie (voor een moment) hoe het is om te staan in en als de stem van leven – het is een moment, echter vanaf hier kan ik het gebruiken als referentiepunt waar ik heen ga en van waar ik me uiteindelijk zal uitdrukken en zal belichamen.

Hierin in ogenschouw houdend dat het niet gaat om het verwoorden van de kennis en informatie als ‘de stem van leven’ maar om een werkelijke en volledige fysieke expressie.

Als en wanneer ik bemerk dat ik me zenuwachtig maak over hoe een ander op iets zal reageren en/of over hoe iets te brengen, dan stop ik, ik adem. Ik realiseer me dat ik het ergens persoonlijk maak en dat ik mezelf hierin verminder, waardoor ik ‘de ander’ automatisch (in polariteit) meer maak dan mezelf in en als leven. Ik stel mezelf ten doel mezelf te omarmen als de kracht van leven en verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor die delen van/gedachten over mezelf waarin ik mezelf verminder door de toepassing van zelfvergeving om van hieruit te zien wat, hoe en wanneer ik het beste iets naar voren kan brengen.

Als en wanneer ik bemerk dat ik me druk maak over hoe een ander gereageerd heeft op iets wat ik heb gezegd, dan stop ik, ik adem. Ik realiseer me dat ik zelf iets gezegd heb vanuit een afgescheidenheid in mezelf, ook al is het maar een klein aspect van reactie, het is en blijft een dimensie die resoneert in mezelf en van hieruit in mijn woorden. Ik stel mezelf ten doel te onderzoeken welke ervaring ik heb onderdrukt in mezelf zonder werkelijk te zien wat er meevaart in mijn woorden en ik stel mezelf ten doel mezelf hierin te vergeven en zo verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor mezelf in dit aspect, om van hieruit eenduidig te spreken.

Als en wanneer ik bemerk dat ik me ‘verantwoordelijk voel’ voor hoe een ander zich ervaart en/of reageert, dan stop ik, ik adem. Ik realiseer me dat ik iets breng en/of gebracht heb waarin ik niet volledig verantwoordelijkheid heb genomen voor mezelf waardoor ik eventueel reacties activeer waarvoor ik me verantwoordelijk voel. Ik stel mezelf ten doel te onderzoeken voor welk aspect van afgescheidenheid ik nog geen verantwoordelijkheid heb genomen in mezelf en vervolgens mezelf te vergeven hierin en zo, verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor mezelf in dit punt en zo vervolgens, de verantwoordelijkheid voor eventuele reacties van een ander, bij die ander te kunnen laten.

trompetklimmerTrompetklimmer

***

Waar Zelfoprechtheid beging – Bernard Poolman (vertaling)

Proces van Kwantificeren – Spreek Zelfvergeving LUIDOP (vertaling)

the eye of the needle


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

 

 

 

 

 

Dag 706 – Wat roep ik in het leven?

full_consciousness-awareness-back-to-basics

Toen ik begon nu bijna 5 jaar geleden, met het wandelen van deze reis van bewustzijn naar gewaarzijn, probeerde ik weleens voor een moment om alleen ‘in en als mijn ademhaling aanwezig te zijn’. Dat lukte niet, er ontstond direct een ervaring van ‘gejaagdheid’ en paniek in mezelf, ik kon niet goed ademhalen en kon me in geen velden of wegen voorstellen (ikzelf was dus in geen velden of wegen te bekennen lol zoals het gezegde eigenlijk gaat) hoe het zou zijn om alleen, in gewaarzijn, in en als mijn ademhaling aanwezig te zijn.

Dat heb ik toen maar gelaten voor een langere periode en zo ben ik eerst begonnen met hetgeen wel lukte, namelijk het schrijven van blogs en het uitgebreid toepassen van zelfvergevingen. zowel in schrijven als hardop of zachtjes sprekend in mezelf.

Nu, een week of twee geleden, realiseerde ik me dat ik me nog steeds niet inzet om me op mijn ademhaling te focussen, waardoor ik in mijn dagelijkse bezigheden, veel afdwaal in gedachten. Ik probeerde het opnieuw, het focussen op mijn ademhaling terwijl ik bezig ben, als ik bijvoorbeeld mijn tanden poets, als ik me aankleed, mijn spullen pak, enzovoort. En nu lukte het wel. Ik raak niet langer in paniek en ik word er rustiger van.

Ik kwam hiertoe, omdat ik me realiseerde dat ik nog steeds niet zie wat ik allemaal in mijn geest (in gedachten en hieruit voortvloeiend, in gevoelens en emoties) creëer en hoe dit specifiek van invloed is op mijn lichaam. Ik merk alleen dat mijn lichaam verkrampt is en ‘denk dan automatisch’ dat ik niet weet hoe ik hier iets aan kan doen. En zo kwam ik tot de conclusie/realisatie dat – als ik mezelf wil ondersteunen, als ik prettiger in mijn fysiek aanwezig wil zijn en mezelf werkelijk richting wil gaan geven binnenin (en in gelijkheid met) mijn eigen lichaam, en dat wil ik – ik dus zal moeten vertragen om te zien wat er nu eigenlijk exact gebeurt in mijn geest en waarin ik deelneem en ‘volgzaam’ ben, hoe ik mijn gedachten achterna ga en hupsakee, beland in een (emotionele of gevoels-) ervaring die ik fysiek manifesteer en/of in stand houd en waarin ik mezelf gevangen houd in een soort van fysiek gemanifesteerde ‘wurggreep’, waarin ik me vervolgens machteloos ervaar doordat ik denk dit niet te kunnen veranderen in en als mezelf.

Zo nam ik hier de beslissing om te vertragen en te stoppen met de deelname in gedachten en in plaats hiervan, te zien wat er plaatsvindt in mijn geest, zodat ik mezelf hierin richting kan gaan geven. Ik raakte bekend en begreep de theorie toen ik begon 5 jaar geleden, echter ik kon het niet direct in het moment uitvoeren, ik had eerst tijd nodig om de hoeveelheid energie af te voeren. Hiermee bedoel ik de energie die ik door mijn leven heen heb opgebouwd door allerlei gedachten te geloven en aan te nemen en waarin ik mezelf steeds emotioneler maakte en zo energie opstapelde en vastzette in mijn lichaam. Hierin waren voornamelijk de emoties zichtbaar en ook fysiek voelbaar en ik heb de tijd nodig gehad om bewustzijnslagen door te wandelen. Wat ik gedaan heb met behulp van het schrijven, het zelfvergeven, de DIP lessen, de ondersteuning van elkaar in dit proces, ter voorbereiding op het werkelijk kunnen gaan toepassen en verantwoordelijkheid nemen voor wie ik ben en wat ik creëer.

Nu dan aangekomen bij (de beslissing tot en uitvoering van) het werkelijk vertragen en gaan zien wat ik aan gedachten aanmaak en hoe ik mezelf (en indirect anderen) hiermee beïnvloed.

Het eerste dat ik zie in mezelf, is hoe ik een verhaal aanmaak over een ander en vervolgens, ga ik die ander veroordelen voor dat wat ‘die ander doet’, in mijn zelf aangemaakte verhaal. Betekent dit dan dat die ander dit ook werkelijk doet? Nee! Het betekent dat ik denk dat die ander dit doet, in mijn eigen gedachten, in mijn eigen verhaal creëer ik dit en hierop reageer ik dan in mezelf door dit/die ander, te veroordelen. Dus ik veroordeel een ander voor wat ik denk over een ander. En zo zie ik langzaam en steeds duidelijker (dit zie ik in en als mezelf, wat iets anders is dan ‘de theorie kennen’) hoe ik mijn eigen reacties (vanuit gedachten als oordelen) feitelijk in werking stel, hoe ik ze ‘in het leven roep’. En aangezien het allemaal in mijn hoofd plaatsvindt, gaat het allemaal over mezelf en hoe ik besta in zelfoordeel.

En is dit niet hoe we de wereld hebben gecreëerd met z’n allen? Hoe we deze wereld, zoals we nu bestaan in relatie tot en met elkaar, ‘in het leven hebben geroepen’?

Dit is werkelijk nodig om onder ogen te gaan zien binnenin onszelf, hoe we zelf, ieder voor zich en in relatie met en tot elkaar,  deze hele ellende creëeren en gecreëerd hebben, in het leven hebben geroepen. We hebben onze innerlijke gedachtenspinsels, werkelijkheid gemaakt en vervolgens projecteren we onze gedachten (als oordeel, als interpretatie) – en hiermee onze zelfverantwoordelijkheid – op ‘iets of iemand’ buiten onszelf; op ‘de wereld’. En juist hierin maken we onszelf ‘onmachtig’ en van hieruit ervaren we machteloosheid ten aanzien van hoe de wereld ‘in elkaar zit’. Dit in elkaar zitten’, dit is hoe we bestaan in relaties, binnenin onszelf, met onszelf en van hieruit, met elkaar. Van hieruit hebben we de wereld opgebouwd.

Ik ga verder met mijn innerlijke proces van vertragen en onderzoeken hoe ik mijn eigen ervaringen en zo, mijn eigen ‘werkelijkheid’ creëer.

Wordt vervolgd

(klik op de links voor ondersteunende artikelen en gratis interviews)

schakels

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not realize that the way of the world is the result of the nature of the accepted relationships that exist between person and person.

Uit: Day 10 – Relationship Dynamics


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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive