Dag 796 – The effect of writing

Art by Andrew Gable

I have written a blog in Dag 794 – A moment of change where in I found out the following:

” So this means in this example, that what I am used to do and look at within myself is the following way: “Can I have a drink now and then at home alone, although I see that this is not best for myself eventually and so I ‘know’ in a way that somehow/somewhere I need to (and will) stop this/step out of this again? And then I ‘check’ within myself if I see myself able to stop/step out of it in the the future”. If the answer is “yes, I can stop/step out of this in the future when and as needed”, then I decide many times to still ‘do it’ and actually ‘go get my bliss’. Until ‘I am done’ with it or until I cannot have it anymore, and then I stop. And then I need to walk through the build up layers again of emotional/feeling release. So I am actually used to walk through points the long way and more or less even believed that I ‘have to do it like this’ in many occasions.”

In this blog I took an example of drinking a glass of wine at home; however I have seen myself doing this in different situations where an ‘energy-addiction’ is involved – meaning where I want to experience something before I am willing / able to stop it. This is so I see now, actually a form of self-manipulation and when others are involved – as for example within starting a relationship before being totally clear on the possibilities of it – then it automatically includes a manipulation towards another as well, although my intention is not to ‘manipulate’. But my starting-point contains this – maybe subtle – energetic self-manipulation and so, my starting-point will determine the outcome and so manipulation will take place in some form. And what I accept and allow within myself, I will accept and allow in another as well and so the reflection of this inner self-manipulation will show itself in the situation and / or within another and often in a larger degree, so that I will not miss it.

After writing the blog, I noticed that I now have seen this point, this tendency to firstly ‘follow the energy before stopping and pushing myself to the edge before I stop’ and so actually….I am not able to accept and allow myself to do this anymore. So now, when I do see a situation where in I am not 100% clear or sure, I am not able to accept and allow myself to ignore the ‘nagging presence’ in the background and move on with it anyway, in some way ‘hoping’ that it will solve itself miraculously, because I now have seen, realized and understand that it will not solve itself miraculously but the outcome / consequence will show exactly that what I have ignored at first in my starting-point.

This is an example of how the writing out of one practical example – if and when done from a starting-point of self-honesty and self-direction – will very much support with this one general point / tendency in many occasions in my life. This also shows how resistance or even rejection can be experienced with regards to the writing, because I ‘know’ on some level that the writing will be effective and reveal some ‘energy-addictions’ that I accept and allow to distract or actually, manipulate myself with and behind this I find a ‘fear of loss’ of this energy and the experience that it is giving. This experience of ‘fear of loss’ is showing itself as very real, because I made it real, by living it at first, by ‘building a life’ on ‘this belief’ so to speak and so the effect may give an experience of ‘collapsing’ and ‘walking through hell’, as in letting go of the illusions that I was holding on to. Illusions meaning, thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, hopes, dreams and what more, that all seem very ‘real’ in the mind but that is not grounded in a realistic, physical foundation.

So with the writing, I am able to quantify my process and walk it ‘faster’ in a way. I mean, I will walk through all the illusions anyway, also by first following my mind and then needing to let it go again, which is ‘the hard way’ as the letting go can be quite horrible to walk through. With the writing, I do have a tool to support myself, to start preventing myself from following the energy, from following that what is actually not best for myself in self-honesty and so, not best for all in self-honesty. Also here, there is a moment of letting go – as how I described in the blog as well – but it almost directly includes a moment of change, because I did not build up so much layers around it, I did not attach myself in all these layers (that I need to walk back and detach myself from and this ‘hurts’ emotionally) and so the way is much shorter and much more stable.

This is actually what we have done through our whole lives – building layer after layer, following the energy and ‘building a life’ on false beliefs in a way, despite our intentions being ‘good’ in it. One can imagine that walking back does take time, dedication and persistence, as these layers are integrated in our life and our physical bodies. We have become it in a way and we believe that ‘this is who I am’. And, we all did this, we have build relationships on this and so we actually have build a world (through relationships) on this foundation from and within a manipulative starting-point (energy). And this is very much visible in the world and how we exist today in totality. For more context read Relationship Dynamics

I will continue with some self-forgiveness on this point in a blog to come.

As a short feedback after writing the mentioned blog: There are no thoughts coming up anymore in relation to drinking this glass of wine when being at home. In the beginning it did come up now and then and with the support of this blog I was able to directly let it go and as I notice now, it is not a point anymore, it is not coming up as a possibility or desire or need and mostly not even as a thought anymore. That is great self-feedback and self-proof after walking layer after layer as a process through the years of what process actually entails.


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive
Advertenties

Dag 794 – A moment of change

I am used to drink little to no alcohol. This has not always been the case. During my studying years, I did go out a lot and used more alcohol than was good for my body. So I mostly was drinking with others in the weekends or on free days, however I also remember having some wine in the house and then on Wednesday, started taking a glass in home when being alone and then used some up till the weekend again. I did not feel so well with this and also not with the effect of it and at some point, I decided to stop this because I noticed an addiction pattern in it that bothered me, no matter how small the amount was as for example ‘only one or a half glass of wine’.

Through the years, I brought down the intake up till the point of little to no drinking at all. I still liked the taste of a nice glass of wine but I have seen so much trouble around me and close to me through an abusive intake of alcohol, that I developed a bit of a dislike towards drinking alcohol in general.

I am now living alone again and I noticed that I sometimes felt the ‘need’ (behoefte-Dutchto drink a little wine when being at home and alone, for example ‘a glass of wine before/during cooking’. I tried this out a few times, looking at how to approach this and what the effect is on myself. I was looking at allowing myself to sometimes have a glass of wine during cooking, or deciding to not drink alone at all and keeping a glass of wine as a form of enjoyment when being with someone else – for example a friend or a family member. I still did like the first few sips very much:, the taste and the ‘warm’ effect in the body. But I also noticed the same ‘pattern’ as twenty years before coming up when drinking a glass of wine in the house: I was ‘looking forward to this’; I had an ‘open bottle’ in the house (even when I buy bottles of 250 cc I have this open till next time) that I then tend to take the next day ‘because it is open’; I did feel a bit ‘fuzzy’ after drinking it. Things like that.

After a few times, I decided to not buy this small bottle for myself to keep in the house. At one afternoon, I felt like ‘having a glass of wine’ and was looking if I should buy some or not and how to put this in place for myself. I actually and self-honestly, wanted to keep this drinking for some occasional enjoyment when for example being with a friend and/or having a nice diner, something like that, but I also liked the taste when having a little by myself. However I did not like ‘being busy’ with this in my head, every time that I start cooking for example. I did notice this ‘need’ keeping existing and coming up within me as to fulfill something within myself in these moments. And in that moment, that afternoon, I changed something.

I decided to not go for this ‘need’ and to stick with my initial approach (to occasional have a nice drink together to enjoy as a delicacy). There was this one moment where I needed to walk through an experience of ‘emotional loss’ – I cannot describe exactly what it was. But I noticed, because I had not allowed myself to build it up through time again, that it was only that one moment that I needed to stand with/as myself in this self-honest approach, before the energy decreased and I was through.

In this moment I did see clearly that a build up through time makes it difficult to keep standing when an energy is coming up and ‘trying to take over’ so to speak. This gives many layers and emotional/feeling connections that needs to be ‘disconnected’ and released, that makes it feeling like ‘undoable’ and immens. But in this moment, I saw what the direct way of ‘not accepting and allowing’ is giving me: a strength and deep satisfaction and after this, time and quietness to focus on other things. Because I did not accept and allow to let it become an issue and distraction again.

I was able to do this quickly because I had already walked this path extensively and going there again was not needed to piece myself together. However it now also gives myself a reference of the ‘reward’ so to speak (the peace, satisfaction, quietness and space) of directly/immediately standing with and as my self-honesty – although I may not see everything that is connected on forehand. Where I did see that I am used to check on forehand within myself, ‘if I am able to step out again if needed’. So this means in this example, that what I am used to do and look at within myself is the following way: “Can I have a drink now and then at home alone, although I see that this is not best for myself eventually and so I ‘know’ in a way that somehow/somewhere I need to (and will) stop this/step out of this again? And then I ‘check’ within myself if I see myself able to stop/step out of it in the the future”. If the answer is “yes, I can stop/step out of this in the future when and as needed”, then I decide many times to still ‘do it’ and actually ‘go get my bliss’. Until ‘I am done’ with it or until I cannot have it anymore, and then I stop. And then I need to walk through the build up layers again of emotional/feeling release. So I am actually used to walk through points the long way and more or less even believed that I ‘have to do it like this’ in many occasions.

This is not the most effective way and I can distract myself with this a whole life (and actually I have distracted myself with this many many years already). I now for the first time saw direct the effect of accumulation of energy and what it takes to walk through this and how I can instead, bring myself more and more to this direct/immediate point of standing and change in a moment. And this then can also start accumulating, in a beneficial way, for myself and life as a whole, into and towards my self-honest standing; moment by moment, breath by breath.

After this it did not come up again as a ‘need’ or desire’ to have a glass of wine in the house alone and this is a relief. A thought may come up now and then but not loaded with energy anymore and so not much of my attention is going to this point anymore. That was what I noticed in this one moment of change, that I stand and changed and released and I was through and it was done. Because I had not build up a lot of energetic attachments around it again/anymore. And when it comes up as a thought, I am satisfied with my decision/approach/stand and so I can ‘stand with/as myself’ in this.

As an addition, I decide to drink an occasional glass of wine with others, because this is what I can self-honestly stand with and enjoy as a delicacy; when I at the same time have already proven to myself as walked before, that I will let go and stop drinking any glass of wine if I see that this is better/best for me and/or others in my life in time to come or in a certain period of time.


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 359 – Porn – What is the Question we should ask?

Living Income Quaranteed

In the discussion about the porn-scene, there is often spoken about the ‘line’ of what is abusive and what not. How rough the sex is, if the woman did agree on it, and within this if the woman was informed about what would happen before she agreed on it and if she had a possibility to stop if it was not what she expected and she could not handle it. So actually the questions that are asked within this, are all about what is allowed and what not Within the total allowance of Pornography.

The point in this is: aren’t we asking the wrong question? The question is manipulating the outcome as the answer.

We have to see beyond the balance of this ‘thin line’ of acceptances and allowances Within pornography. What should be questioned, is the existence of Pornography as a Whole. We are so ‘used to’ the existence of porn, that we do not even look anymore why it exist in the first place, what it is in this world that caused us to Watch Other People Having Sex, from soft ways to the most horrific ways we can imagine. Isn’t this The question in itself?

What causes us to watch porn as other people having sex? Because, the demand determines the product, so the question why porn exist is simple: because there is a demand so it is a way to make money. So, if you are watching porn:  you are contributing to and keeping in place the whole porn-industry in relation to money.  You really think the porn ‘stars’ would do this job if there was no money involved? Get real. Would you do this?

So this is the first thing to realise, porn is here because people are making money of it and we are all dependent on money to live,  and money is not equally distributed so we are all living in and as a survival mode. Sex as how it is used in the porn-scene is a way of surviving, to earn money. The porn-industry is making advantage of this. Within this, the point of ‘free choice’ in participating in the porn-industry is seen from a totally different perspective, which shows: there is No free choice in this, there is only need for survival.

Second thing is the act of sex in itself.

Why are we watching to other people having sex? Isn’t sex just a physical act, firstly implanted to reproduce, just as animals do, and secondly usefull as a support to become more physical, to enjoy physical touch and interaction, if and when it is applied in a way that is supportive to the physical body and where in people that are involved agree equally, without any manipulation applied, which means they should be totally aware of what they are doing. To be totally aware of what we are doing before we make the decision to have sex, we should be educated in this. And who in the world is Really educated in the principles of having sex in a pleasurely and respective way? Are you? Who did teach you this? The porn movie that you watched, which is produced to make money and where there is ‘free choise’ of how abusive one like to watch it?

The point is, we don’t know what we are doing while we are having sex. We actually have no idea. Most just start doing this because the whole world is making a lot of noise about this, combined with hormonal changes inside our body around the age of 14, which are activated and making us feeling restless. Within this, first thing we ‘learn’ in this world, is that we have to ‘do’ something with these activated hormones, and if we don’t, we are ‘missing out’ on something. This something means ‘sex’. We learn that we miss something if we do not have sex. So, in essence, we learn to have sex to make us ‘feel better’ than who we are without having sex. This in itself implies that sex is Used, so abused to ‘reach something’, which is a ‘better feeling’ about ourselves. This is called Self-interest.

Did we need sex when we were a young child? No. It is activated. I am not saying that we should not have sex. I am saying, that we have to really investigate what sex contains, that we have to be educated in this and educate the ones that come after us. That we are not ‘more or less’ when having sex or not having sex. There is no ‘free choise’ in this, we are all addicted to this search for ‘feeling better’ about ourselves.

And porn is made to feed this, and at the same time making money out of it, which makes the ones who make money out of it, ‘feel better’ or ‘more powerfull’, and within this using the ones who ‘choose’ to involve because they need the money to survive.

It is not ‘normal’ to watch other people having sex, just because we like it. If you could choose, would you choose to watch other people having sex or would you choose to do it yourself? Are you watching at movies that you know are really abusive if you would act this movie out in reality? So you choose to ‘watch this’ other people doing on a screan? Why are these people doing this? Because of your demand for it; you buy it, they get money for it. So actually, porn stars are acting out on all the hidden fantasies of human beings who are willing to pay money for it.

If we donot watch porn, but have imagines in our head during masturbation or having sex, this is exactly the same. It is all connected to each other in the same Mind Consiousness System. And we are all contributing to this. We ‘think’ it is harmless to make pictures in our head, but it is not. And this is what we should seriously be educated in. Only this education can make us see how we All are equally responsible for the large abuse that happen in this world, which is all related to the area of money and sex. And deep down, we know this, otherwise we would not hide it. We only don’t understand How it is related. If you deny, you are not self-honest and you want to move on only for and within your self-interest. Which is a serious problem.

If you see the common sense in this article and you find yourself addicted to for example watching porn-movies – also the so called ‘innocent’ ones – know that there is support to understand and stop this addiction. Know that honesty seeing into self in this, and saying, hey, I see I have a problem here, I only don’t know what to do about it, this is self-honest and it takes courage to do this and to do something about it.

There is a lot of free material available to start educating yourself. It is a lot, so just start and take on one by one. Allow yourself to free yourself from this addiction, as any addiction is only making us feel better for a very short time and it makes us feeling worse afterwards, and this feeling worse will enlarge. This is how addiction works, and we know it.

If you have the chance – meaning if you have acces to internet, which you have, otherwise you would not be able to read this article – educate yourself, and within this, stand up for a world that is free from all sorts of abuse, related to sex and money.

To all people who are just having ‘innocent’ pictures in the head of wanting to have sex with the lovely neighbour or handsome colleague, and for the rest having a ‘stable’ life with enough money to live from and for example a happy marriage and kids; also: educate yourself.  You, We, are the ones that are able in the first place to stand up. Exactly just because of being relative ‘stable’, it is possible to start with the self-support Right Now. Stand up for Life on Earth, stop the allowance of abuse related to money and sex and be a part of the solution. If we all do so, this world will be a total different place, as a place where we all are willing to live and contribute; if we all give as we would like to receive.

Investigate:

Porn Addicts Journey to Life:

http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/

Desteni Forum for support:

http://forum.desteni.org./

Free interviews:

What is Sex:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-overview

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-introduction

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-seven

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-eight

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-9

Shocking Secrets of Masturbation:

https://eqafe.com/series/7-shocking-secrets-of-masturbation

The Metaphysical Sectrets of Imagination:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-introduction

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-self-image-and-imagination-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-self-image-and-imagination-practical-support-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-comparing-images-and-imagination-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-comparing-images-and-imagination-practical-support-part-4

The Soul of Money:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-infinity-secret-consciousness-as-the-light-and-the-dark

https://eqafe.com/p/the-heart-of-love

https://eqafe.com/p/the-inequality-of-resource-distribution-within-all-bodies-of-existence

https://eqafe.com/p/divide-and-conquer-the-majority-enslaved-by-the-minority

https://eqafe.com/p/the-interconnection-between-thoughts-energy-and-light

Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race:

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-4

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-5

Full what is sex introduction

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/