Dag 626 – “Hey, I have changed!”

change-gifI was reading a few old blogs from myself where in I walked a process with the animals. Here I have written pretty much about how I ignored life in a point at a crucial moment and how I did not accept that anymore from/as myself.

Now, more than a year later when reading back, I see that I really walked through this point and changed myself within. I am not deliberately ignoring points anymore by going into my mind. I am not saying that I am aware all the time, that is still a process that I am walking. But I see that within the point of ignorance of my responsibility in a certain moment I have seen what I did wrong, I faced myself within, I have written it out, walked through the experiences coming up within myself, forgiven myself, written the corrective statements and most important, made the absolute decision to change in this point and from here, I changed.

I notice that when I am at a point of really seeing what I have accepted and allowed within myself, facing myself within the unacceptable and understanding what it contains, what system I am participating in, in/as the mind as distraction from myself and within this understanding / forgiving myself – from here the decision is absolute, it is enough and enough is enough and from here, I change in real time, immediately and it is simply not an option anymore to live out  the destructive pattern again. There are moments coming up where I have to push myself through and do things that I ‘do not prefer or like’ and there may be mistakes that I make and need to forgive and correct myself in and deeper dimensions can/will come up to investigate, but it is not an option to not doing it or to even consider to not doing what is needed to be done within this point.

And from here I become more quiet, more satisfied with myself. In this way I build in and as self-trust and from here I can take on the next point, and the next and the next. And this innitiate point is not an issue anymore, it is not a problem anymore but it is something that I decided to live and that I from here, live and integrate in what I live/how I live/who I am.

And this is very cool to notice. Not because ‘it is so cool and wonderful that I have changed‘ but because it is so cool that I have changed within/as this point, which contains that I am not living this destructive pattern/behaviour anymore where in I hurted myself and another as life.

Here I see the effectiveness of walking this process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrections together with walking this application in real time moments and integrating this as a ‘way of living’ as what is best for all in/as life. It are the very painful moments where real shame comes up, where in I face myself and if I dare to look, to see myself, to experience the pain and shame, to forgive and to admit to myself that I did it badly wrong; these moments I have found as the turning-points to immediate, real change that will function as stepping-stones to walk on and to keep on walking and forgiving/changing myself while moving through the challenging times.

Here the words ‘change is possible’ become true as real for/as myself and from here I start ‘believing’ as seeing that change is possible, where it is not an assumed/accepted believe in/as the mind but a living proof in/as myself that I walk and integrate and after several time walking, I notice: ‘hey, I have changed within this point and I am living this change without it being a mountain in my head to look up to’.

So for this, I really recomment Desteni I process and walking this process for yourself together within a group of people as mutual support, as support for and as life to stand up for what is best for all. Which includes everyone and everything.

full_robot-virgins-together-alone

Download this great song, it’s free. Let’s decide and learn to stand together alone.

Read: The Secret to Self-Realisation.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation

Uil forgive

 

Advertenties

Dag 378 – Loneliness – 1

Word Web

I have made a wordweb around the words loneliness, alone and aloneness on paper and applied self-forgiveness on the ingredients and connections out loud.

Here I move on with self-forgiveness on my relationship of positive feelings with 1 person (as a partner and only as company)  to work with the polarity that exist in the experience in loneliness and the search for fulfillment in relationships.

Feelings with 1 person (when being in a partnerrelationship):

not feeling alone as lonely

feeling carried

feeling like I have succeeded

feeling part of society, like joining in

feeling accepted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feeling alone as lonely when being with 1 other person in and as a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel carried when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have succeeded when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like part of society, like joining in, when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel accepted when being with a partner.

Feelings when being with 1 other person (not in partnership but as company):

joy

more light, not so heavy, able to self-reflect with humour

able to laugh

not so lost in the mindstructures

excited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel joy when being with another person as company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more light as not so heavy and able to self-reflect with humour, when being with another person as company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as heavy as alone when being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience alone to heavy by connecting the word alone to the word heavy and within this, connect myself as being alone as heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and experience myself as being alone as heavy, and within this believing that nobody wants to be with me because I believe I am so heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that nobody wants to be with me for a longer time, because I believe I am so heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every one who is with me for a longer time, becomes heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be able to laugh when being with another person as company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not so lost in the mind-structures when being with another person as company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited when being with another person as company, in which I compromise myself as going ‘out of myself’ and within this, not being aware of what happens in my physical body in and as reactions which gives physical constrictions, and so within this, create a polarity of wanting to be with another human being and at the same time wanting to be alone, as not creating constrictions, where in I actually alone also create constrictions in and as the mind, in and as reaction on my own mind-patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create constrictions in and as reactions towards my own mind-patterns which I suppress in and as myself, to not feel all these reactions as rejections inside myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject myself in and as reaction on my own mind-patterns, alone and when being in company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like myself in and as the mind, and to be surprised everytime I see someone else in what I interpreted as happily expressing in and as the mind in full convincement, in which I think, how is this possible, and then start creating energy myself in and as reaction on this, and so, do not like myself in and as the mind, in and as reaction, and in this way, keep myself busy with reactions all the time, in and as judgements, experiencing myself as unable to stop this, and so isolate myself in and as being alone, looking for a relationship in and as the mind and at the same time being without company, so that I do not react so much on what I see as interpretation outside myself in and as the mind, in and as reaction and so that I do not see who I have become in and as self-judgement, projected outside myself, in which I think, how is this possible, until I decide, it’s enough, no more compromises which harms life as myself as life and within this having only one option left, which is standing up, standing alone, in and as self-investigation of who I am, have become and can be.

*

When and as I see myself going into reaction on somebody outside myself, I stop, I breathe.

Actually I donot know why I react in that specific moment, I basicly see it as a pattern, just reacting because of the sake of creating energy.

I realize that I cannot be here with myself if I judge everything inside myself in and as reaction as projection on the outside world.

I commit myself to stop reacting in and as the mind on somebody outside myself, and breathe.

I commit myself to investigate what happens in the moment of reaction inside myself specificely, to investigate, see, self-forgive, write out, what it is that I react on and/as what I judge in this in and as a reaction about and as myself, as a judgement about myself.

I commit myself to stand equal as accepting myself as who I exist in and as the mind, no matter what it is that I see, so that I can stop, embrace, stand equal, self-forgive and actually correct myself into a living being in and as the physical, breath by breath.

I realize how I have walked from the staring-point of not wanting to stand alone, and that I am not able to reach the bottom as grounding myself, as long as I am constricted in relationships in and as the mind, in and as emotional reactions and suppression.

I realize that I connect myself in and as emotion towards other emotions of other people, when actually it is not my emotion and I am not emotional about it but becoming emotional in and as this connection, just because of feeding the emotions.

I realize that I am walking in and as the mind in constrictions as assumptions, and within this, constrict myself in and as relationships, in and as the mind, in which I react emotionally in and as judgements, and manifest this reactions physically in and as the large intestine, in and as control.

I commit myself to investigate the assumptions in relation to alone, loneliness, relationships, and push myself to see beyond the balance in this in and as the mind, in and as a believe in what I have learned in this world as ‘real’ without questioning and investigating this to the bottom.

I commit myself to investigate the assumpions about relationships and standing alone to the bottom, so that I can reach the ground and stand up from the bottom, in and as a starting-point of self-honesty.

Winged – Exploring Self Intimacy

….Then I look within me and I realise: That I had deserted me through the manifestation of that which is not real: Judgment – and here I see – that I had done what I had become: That which is not real and desertion: Judgment as that which is not real I had become because I believed the lie that judgment is real and desertion of self because I deserted me through believing that judgment is real – and then manifesting this judgment within me, manifesting this desertion within me –which had become me as my entire world – as my entire experience as the desert of desertion and the mirages of what is not real…

Here I see – I finally see – that this desert is me – I manifested this desert as me because I deserted me – here I see – I finally see – that I these mirages are me -I manifested these mirages because I believed that which is not real is real: Judgment…. (Winged)

(For interviews as support with regards to the experience of loneliness, click on the links in the writing above).

Dag 374 – How Every Breath Counts

Dag 375 – The gift of Life by Roos – preference and ignorance

Dag 376 – Ignorance and preference – self-corrective statements

Dag 377 – The gift of Life by Roos – knowledge and information

———————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/