Dag 590 – The mind-body relationship – Self-limitation

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Since a few weeks I am looking into a decision to start a project at work where some coaching of a student is involved, this on request of a young student. It is new so it takes some time to investigate all the possibilities and official requirements. After considering and discussing the possibilities, I still tend to not step in, I have reasons for this and the reasons are subscribed within the conversations with colleques. However, the student does not agree with this stand and actually, when I look deep into myself, I also do not agree with myself on this stand. So I hesitate but still round it off in conversations, however within my head, it is not round off, no matter how much reasonable subscriptions I find within myself.

I recognize this pattern because I have written/am still writing a whole mind-construct about this pattern of ‘subscribing my decisions with reasons and justifications’ and walking the correction on paper and in real time (related to a different subject). So after the final conversation to round it off, I sink within myself and feel very shitty about the situation. The decision that I have made, is not best for everyone and so, also not best for me. It hurts. I hurt myself in this (and perhaps I have hurted another, however that is not to me to conclude). What I do know and experience is that I hurt myself. Not in an emotional way, but in a way of seeing that my decision and action is limiting myself in my expansion and from here, I can be sure it is of influence and limitation on another in their expansion.

To correct this, I have to make phonecalls, first to get some more information and second to discuss if I can reconsider my decision. Within this, I have to admit that I hesitate and that I was not sure about myself in/as my decision and I have to show this to the ones that I call. Here in is the risk that they do not ‘take me serious anymore’ because I hesitate too much, however then the door will yet close. This is not the case. The one who has to make some official arrangements is willing to re-open the case and after this, the situation will be fast arranged. He asks for my motivation, I describe this the best I can and he agrees with me. And that is that.

Here I go immediately to living the correction because I have walked the writing and self-forgiveness of this construct already extensively as I mentioned in writing out a whole mind-construct with the support of a buddy and I basicely/already see the mind-construct playing out within myself in/as the mind; I have taken the time to investigate and discussed the possibilities within this current situation, I have first established a stable situation at work during the last weeks and I have seen within myself that I am able to direct this situation and to (learn to) apply some coaching activities together with a collegue who is also willing to do so.

My physical experiences in this whole event are as follows:

When I finally ‘round off’ in a way where in I did not consider for everyone what is best, I started to sink more and more in my body towards an experience of paralysing. I notice that it is a state that I did not enter for quite some time, which is an indication for me that lately I am pretty much moving myself in agreement with myself in consideration of all members as what is best (which I can check within myself by seeing if I apply that which I am able to at my utmost potential for this moment/in the stage where I am). I directly notice again how limiting it is to not do so and how within not moving myself as what is best, is influencing myself in every area of my life. Because if I am not standing in and as this starting-point of considering all living beings involved and applying that what I am able to, then who am I to ask such a thing from another. And here, I will allow myself to hold back, because otherwise I would not live what I speak. I cannot speak/ask to do what is best/what one is able to and not do it myself. So basicely I bring down myself in every aspect of what I actually decide to stand for and as and within this, feeling unworthy to speak up.

From here I become emotional and easily ‘swept away’. I become depressed and feel the pressure of the emotions around the heart-area which influences the left-upper corner of the large intestine, in the area of the spleen and heart. (In the iridology there is a line that they call the ‘splean-heart line’ where in the relation between the spleen/digestion and heart is noticed as of influence on each other). A deep cry comes out of my chest-area and then it becomes more quite inside myself and I decide to place the correction in and as a living action.

After correcting myself in the living action and actually already after making this decision to do so, the depression and paralysing immediately start decreasing and after a while, I notice some warmth and better circulation around the heart-area in a way that I did not have before. This area always feels ‘harmed’ and constricted and now there is coming some warmth in it which feels physically great, as a release. I did not specificely know/see how it was related to this self-limitation of not doing what is best and how not doing what is best, actually is the self-limitation in Itself.

Why did I not do this immediately? Because of fear of not being able to direct the situation; out of fear to take the lead as responsibility for and as this situation and out of fear of it all ‘being too much’ for me together with other responsibilities and fear to physically collaps within this.

I noticed from the beginning that I am the ‘decisioning-factor’ in this, and that I hold and determine the outcome and the direction is my responsibility within the situation that I bring this new element into; I cannot allow to influence this ‘new element’ in a so to speak ‘negative’ way within and as the situation that I work in within the system. So, I have to stand in and as self-trust, meaning enough trust to direct the situation, otherwise it doesn’t make sense to make a decision purely based on knowledge and information ‘as what is best’, as this holds the risk of over-estimating myself which in the end, is not best for all involved but more a ‘risk’ to everyone involved, including myself and the working-area.

It seems such a small example which is of influence on one being and we easily ‘sweep away’ the importance of this influence with reasons and justifications in/as the mind. However, every one needs someone who is reaching out and making some arrangements possible, to learn and expand oneself in. It is not so easy these days to make a living in the system, to find a place to develop oneself. This is the main motivation for me to step in, because what I have seen is that if I am not doing this, this opportunity will close off, for both of us. That doesn’t mean that the life of another and/or myself is dependent on only my/this decision as we all have our own self-responsibility and ability to forgive and correct ourselves and make decisions again and other doors will open, however this one opportunity is here.

There is still a better warming circulation in the left-area which moves on to my left-shoulder and left-arm. The situation has to be directed from now after receiving a respons from the student.

Within this I have to mention that I have some physical support from a ‘remedy’ that is alligned with the current state of my body that is coming from a bio-resonance consult that (together with other symptoms) showed how the heart-area was affected in it’s circulation. This alligned remedy is bringing my body-functions into a state of rebalancing and movement where in it can recorrect itself, so my body in itself is of support at the moment. However I have to see, investigate, forgive, correct and change the mind-constructs in real time, to establish a correction that is lasting for and as myself, in and as my physical body.

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

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Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

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Dag 378 – Loneliness – 1

Word Web

I have made a wordweb around the words loneliness, alone and aloneness on paper and applied self-forgiveness on the ingredients and connections out loud.

Here I move on with self-forgiveness on my relationship of positive feelings with 1 person (as a partner and only as company)  to work with the polarity that exist in the experience in loneliness and the search for fulfillment in relationships.

Feelings with 1 person (when being in a partnerrelationship):

not feeling alone as lonely

feeling carried

feeling like I have succeeded

feeling part of society, like joining in

feeling accepted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feeling alone as lonely when being with 1 other person in and as a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel carried when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have succeeded when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like part of society, like joining in, when being with a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel accepted when being with a partner.

Feelings when being with 1 other person (not in partnership but as company):

joy

more light, not so heavy, able to self-reflect with humour

able to laugh

not so lost in the mindstructures

excited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel joy when being with another person as company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more light as not so heavy and able to self-reflect with humour, when being with another person as company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as heavy as alone when being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience alone to heavy by connecting the word alone to the word heavy and within this, connect myself as being alone as heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and experience myself as being alone as heavy, and within this believing that nobody wants to be with me because I believe I am so heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that nobody wants to be with me for a longer time, because I believe I am so heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every one who is with me for a longer time, becomes heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be able to laugh when being with another person as company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not so lost in the mind-structures when being with another person as company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited when being with another person as company, in which I compromise myself as going ‘out of myself’ and within this, not being aware of what happens in my physical body in and as reactions which gives physical constrictions, and so within this, create a polarity of wanting to be with another human being and at the same time wanting to be alone, as not creating constrictions, where in I actually alone also create constrictions in and as the mind, in and as reaction on my own mind-patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create constrictions in and as reactions towards my own mind-patterns which I suppress in and as myself, to not feel all these reactions as rejections inside myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject myself in and as reaction on my own mind-patterns, alone and when being in company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like myself in and as the mind, and to be surprised everytime I see someone else in what I interpreted as happily expressing in and as the mind in full convincement, in which I think, how is this possible, and then start creating energy myself in and as reaction on this, and so, do not like myself in and as the mind, in and as reaction, and in this way, keep myself busy with reactions all the time, in and as judgements, experiencing myself as unable to stop this, and so isolate myself in and as being alone, looking for a relationship in and as the mind and at the same time being without company, so that I do not react so much on what I see as interpretation outside myself in and as the mind, in and as reaction and so that I do not see who I have become in and as self-judgement, projected outside myself, in which I think, how is this possible, until I decide, it’s enough, no more compromises which harms life as myself as life and within this having only one option left, which is standing up, standing alone, in and as self-investigation of who I am, have become and can be.

*

When and as I see myself going into reaction on somebody outside myself, I stop, I breathe.

Actually I donot know why I react in that specific moment, I basicly see it as a pattern, just reacting because of the sake of creating energy.

I realize that I cannot be here with myself if I judge everything inside myself in and as reaction as projection on the outside world.

I commit myself to stop reacting in and as the mind on somebody outside myself, and breathe.

I commit myself to investigate what happens in the moment of reaction inside myself specificely, to investigate, see, self-forgive, write out, what it is that I react on and/as what I judge in this in and as a reaction about and as myself, as a judgement about myself.

I commit myself to stand equal as accepting myself as who I exist in and as the mind, no matter what it is that I see, so that I can stop, embrace, stand equal, self-forgive and actually correct myself into a living being in and as the physical, breath by breath.

I realize how I have walked from the staring-point of not wanting to stand alone, and that I am not able to reach the bottom as grounding myself, as long as I am constricted in relationships in and as the mind, in and as emotional reactions and suppression.

I realize that I connect myself in and as emotion towards other emotions of other people, when actually it is not my emotion and I am not emotional about it but becoming emotional in and as this connection, just because of feeding the emotions.

I realize that I am walking in and as the mind in constrictions as assumptions, and within this, constrict myself in and as relationships, in and as the mind, in which I react emotionally in and as judgements, and manifest this reactions physically in and as the large intestine, in and as control.

I commit myself to investigate the assumptions in relation to alone, loneliness, relationships, and push myself to see beyond the balance in this in and as the mind, in and as a believe in what I have learned in this world as ‘real’ without questioning and investigating this to the bottom.

I commit myself to investigate the assumpions about relationships and standing alone to the bottom, so that I can reach the ground and stand up from the bottom, in and as a starting-point of self-honesty.

Winged – Exploring Self Intimacy

….Then I look within me and I realise: That I had deserted me through the manifestation of that which is not real: Judgment – and here I see – that I had done what I had become: That which is not real and desertion: Judgment as that which is not real I had become because I believed the lie that judgment is real and desertion of self because I deserted me through believing that judgment is real – and then manifesting this judgment within me, manifesting this desertion within me –which had become me as my entire world – as my entire experience as the desert of desertion and the mirages of what is not real…

Here I see – I finally see – that this desert is me – I manifested this desert as me because I deserted me – here I see – I finally see – that I these mirages are me -I manifested these mirages because I believed that which is not real is real: Judgment…. (Winged)

(For interviews as support with regards to the experience of loneliness, click on the links in the writing above).

Dag 374 – How Every Breath Counts

Dag 375 – The gift of Life by Roos – preference and ignorance

Dag 376 – Ignorance and preference – self-corrective statements

Dag 377 – The gift of Life by Roos – knowledge and information

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/