Dag 662 – Use and abuse

hearingContinuing on:

Dag 660 – Allow yourself to loose

Dag 661 – Battling for attention – self-forgiveness, a start

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of fearing to loose within a conversation with someone because of feeling like not being heard, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I may be speaking in a way or with words that another is not (yet) able to hear and so, the other is actually not hearing me.

I realize that I think that when I feel not being heard that I need to go, which makes it of course impossible to be heard by that one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to go when I feel not being heard and/or am actually not being heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘to good to stay’ when I (feel like I) am not being heard.

I realize that I define myself as ‘not being heard’ as how I worked with in the previous blog as if that is ‘who I am’ and so, I will resonate this in my words that others will pick up in/as the mind, where what I still resonate in/as the mind is what is picked up by whomever is participating in/as the mind and so the words spoken/the being in it, will not be noticed.

So I realize that I have work to do here for myself and find a way to express myself effectively and without resonating the believe of ‘not being heard’.

I realize that I even may pick out people to (intimate) connect with that I ‘know’ from that they do not yet hear me as a way to confirm myself in/as the mind and as an excuse to stay within my comfortzone in/as the mind of not being heard/of not expressing myself effectively, until it becomes (physically) uncomfortable to suppress myself/my being like this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would be okay to (intimate) connect with another without being heared and within this, suppress myself, where this ‘being okay with it’ is the comfortzone in/as the mind as how I ‘am used’ and adapted myself to be with others on a daily base as how I knwo myself while growing up.

I realize that ‘how I am used to be’ includes the words ‘being used’ as how I feel myself often where in how we are used to be and live, is actually a way of abuse that we are used to and adapted to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adapt myself and get used to a be and live in and as abuse, meaning in inequality in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself/my being to be abused by my acceptances and allowances in/as the mind and project this on others, in and as the feeling of ‘being used’ by another, which is actually meaning that I am used to myself in/as the mind and within this, abuse myself and my physical body.

I commit myself to use the feeling of ‘being used’ or abuse, as a flagpoint to investigate within myself what I do accept and allow within myself without standing up/speaking up/expressing myself effectively and here, use my own ‘abuse’ (as thoughts, feelings and emotions) in/as the mind constructively and as support for myself.

I commit myself to practise and find ways to express myself effectively within a way that I am comfortable in without staying in my comfortzone in/as the mind and I commit myself to do so, to connect with people who are wiling to communicate, to listen and express in a more equal way and to from here, see how I can express myself to and communicate with the ones that are more in the mind at the moment from a point of self-trust and understanding and so, standing more equal to whomever I communicate with – which I realize is a process through time.

120117_logo

Desteni I Process – courses

——————————————————————————————————————-

Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation

Uil forgive

Advertenties

Dag 661 – Battling for attention – self-forgiveness, a start

its_a_process

Continuing on: Dag 660 – Allow yourself to loose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid an experience of loosing in small events and conversations and here suppress myself in this experience and at the same time, because of avoiding to experience ‘to loose’, automatically try to win and ‘feel better’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to irritate myself when and as I notice another in conversation with me ‘trying to win’ without looking in my own experiences and what I am actually doing here myself which colours my observation around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I cannot reach a dimension of this winning and loosing and the pain that I caused myself within participation in this polarity within myself and here more being on the surface of it within an uncomfortable experience of seduced emotional pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seduce myself to not experience the pain that I cause to myself from participating in the polarity of winning and loosing.

Can I name the experience here?

Being ignored.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my being by suppressing how I really experinec myself and instead of supporting myself and name the experience, forgive myself for the participation and believe in it and see what makes me feel like this, suppressing this within myself and my physical body and so, creating physical consequenses for myself from where I recreate the experiences and so the pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ignored when I notice another in conversation with me is not really listening but in my eyes trying to ‘win’ my attention for their own words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a battle for attention for words that are spoken.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tired of ‘always listening’ to the words of another who from my perspective, do not give any attention to my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that another does intentional not listen to my words, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that another might not even be aware of the inequality within the conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that because my experiences of not being listened to and not being noticed are so obvious for myself, that another is also noticing this but delibrately ignoring it, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the other does not see what is going on inside myself and because I am suppressing it, it is not visible eather for the physical eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I should get space from another to express myself as how I give another space to express themselves by listening and asking questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect to receive what I give, which is not unconditionally giving what I would like to receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like with this giving, ‘emptying’ myself and labeling this as a ‘bad’ thing from where I now realize that what I experience as emptying myself, might not be ‘bad’ in itself but my interpretation of it might be misformed and so I misinforme myself with information from what I experience, so from my emotions that I believe and take for real as ‘this is who I am’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misinform myself by believing my own experiences/emotions as this is who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this ‘emptying myself’ is also an experience and so contained of negative emotional energie, based on misinformation as thoughts and believes as judgements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my own being while at the same time I am aware of myself.

I see now in the word ‘being’ that this is who I am, ‘be’ and as I define myself as ‘being something’ this is how I label my own ‘being’ as who I am and funny enough even the beginning of my own name is in it as ‘be ing(rid) which in itself also includes ‘be in grid’ as in the grid-lines and so within this letters I see a movement from ‘being in the gridlines’ to my ‘being’ does not mean to ‘delete completely who I am’ but more embracing and changing who I am’ by moving myself to and as my being.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of ‘being ignored’ and from here, of loosing while i am in a conversation, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am participating in my mind in polarity, trying to make myself more (important) than the other to ‘become equal’ to each other, instead coming to a point of equality first within and as myself by stopping the participation within the experiences of winning and loosing as a way of control.

I realize that I try to control by trying to win (attention) and I realize that I feel like loosing (control) if I am not ‘being attended’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within conversation, expect to be first be attended by another to be heared, instead of attend myself and from here, express myself.

I realize that this is used as some kind of suppression to children that they are not allowed to speak when the adults does not give the persmission to do so, which I may even have copied as a pattern from a parent to whom this is used and which is in a form of suppression moved into the children as I did not see this pattern consciously affirmed and lived by my parents but sub- and maybe unconsiously, it was playing a role.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy, believe and follow suppressed/hidden patterns without investigating for and within myself what the consequenses are of doing so.

I commit myself to allow myself to loose (control) within a conversation and to breathe and listen and also listening to myself within the reactions/experiences that are coming up.

I realize that because I am participating in experiences, I am waiting for myself to express myself as while I am in experiences, I am not able to express myself effectively and so, I commit myself to express myself to myself within and as the application of some self-forgiveness for the experiences that I separate myself within from where I create distance within and towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for constant attention myself to create a better feeling about myself which I do not show but hide within myself, as a way of controling the situation and being able to ‘play it out’ in a form of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within conversation where I experience an unability to express myself and project this towards the conversationpartner within hidden blame, which in itself makes it more difficult to express myself and where I even do not want to express myself anymore out of blame which is actually a form of revenche, where in I am actually secretely creating an experience of ‘winning’ within myself that I do not openly show and here, I keep control within and as my mind as being ‘the best’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to be the best, instead of being and living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need to be the best to make sense and that it doesn’t matter if I am not here as the best, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that it is about being/becoming the best version of myself and not so much in comparisson to others as it is not possible to be better or less than others because I am not them and they are not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to battle with myself and blame myself when and as I am not living the best version of and as myself, instead of seeing where I can support myself and move and guide myself within the best I can in any given situation/moment that I am capable of at that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to be better than I am/am capable of from expectations in my own mind to get attention from another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will get more attention if I do better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create all kind of expectations towards myself and from here, towards another and judge/blame myself (and/or another) if I and/or another do not live up to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear for my own projected reactions within myself from creating judgements as thoughts as expectations to live up to and from here, creating unnecessary conflict, within and without and then also, when there is a ‘conflict’ necessary to bring change, experience fear as judgement of conflict in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sick of myself created from my own fear (as thoughts as judgements).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up disappointment within myself that I experience as a ‘hate’ towards myself as accumulated points that I did not take responsibility for which I experience as a sickness in the midst of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disappoint myself, to not stand within an appointment of equality and oneness within and as myself but allowed myself to go into a battle that I do not even like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like battles and games but do participate in it every day despite myself and/as my integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my integrity in/as myself by participating in battles and competition in/as the mind, looking for attention as energy.

I realize that I am not able to express myself in certain situations because I participate in judgements as thoughts (=fear) and so in conflict as separation within myself.

I commit myself to be and become aware of the conflict that I participate in within myself within the small conversations with people that I do not generally feel comfortable with to express myself and here give the attention to myself that I need as support and guidance to eventually come to self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my own attention is not enough and that need attention from others outside myself.

When and as I see myself looking for attention to fill myself, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I participate in my mind, looking for something (or someone) to complete me with thoughts, feelings and emotions instead of that I bring myself to a point of nothingness and forgive myself specificely for participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I realize that I have learned to constantly generate energy to ‘fill’ myself with from the participation in thoughts and from here, in feelings and emotions to keep myself alive in/as the mind as how I know myself.

I commit myself to breathe in the experience of loosing (a part of) myself that comes up when I stop myself participating in this ‘looking for attention’ to generate thoughts, feelings and emotions within myself and here, to let go.

To be continued.

I realize that it may look like random self-forgiveness on points that come up that I have manifested as a structure within and as myself and/as my physical body. Here I walk around a point, looking for a ‘way in’ and taking bits and bites from the surface layers here and there to in this way slowly break down the patterns and step by step coming more to the core of it.

Here I do not ‘wait’ until I see ‘the whole thing’ but start with what is coming up and from here, walk with it. This  is what may make the self-forgiveness seem a bit (or a lot) incoherent. What I also notice is that during and after the writing, the patterns open up more while doing the daily activities where I apply self-forgiveness in speaking.

I often come during the writing and speaking (and doing the daily activities here and there in the house in between), to a moment where I ‘suddenly hit’ the point that was bothering me the most at that time, where it releases physically in letting out the emotion via some tears which results at the same time in a diminishment of the physical strain that is prominent in that moment/during that day. Which is a (physical) proof for myself that I brought myself to the release of a small peace of the structure and so, applied myself in self-honesty in relation to (a piece of) this point and structure.

wheredoyoustart

Video 2011: WHERE do I START with Self Forgiveness?

WAAR BEGIN IK met Zelfvergeving? (vertaling)

————————————————————————————————————————

Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation

Uil forgive

Dag 530 – Sharing a hidden pattern

Yesterday a point came to the surface that I would like to open up and forgive myself for. It is related to ‘sharing’ within conversation. Within the conversation, I gave notition of a chat that I have had as we discussed this before but I mentioned on forehand that I will not yet expand on a certain point that had opened up and will first walk it for myself and share and/or write about it afterwards. This is a ‘normal’ phrase for me and if someone tells me so, I would immediately accept it and leave it up to the one who sais so. However the buddy started to ask some questions about it, what the reason was for not expanding on it now. I didnot expect any questions when I say on forehand that  I do not want to expand on it so I reacted to it within myself and resisted even more to open up. After chat, I realized that I missed a dimension in this where I did not take the ‘conversationpartner’ into consideration by stating on forehand that I will not expand on a certain subject at the moment while we did have shared the occasion of it all. The point of first walking it for myself is fine ofcourse, however there was a point of self-interest in it as ‘keeping it to myself’ which I did not yet see. As I said, it is a ‘normal’ phrase for me to say in which I only take myself into consideration as how I am used to do things, which is actually me as the mind because it is ‘how I am used to do things’ without taking the other as myself as life in consideration where I could have shared some overview and walking the detail for myself. I noticed that I had decided on forehand to ‘not expand on it’ and so, did not see within the moment what is best to communicate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed after finishing chat about my behaviour in the stated words as that I ‘am not going to expand on it now’ which I had already decided to do so without seeing into ways to do share something that I am already able to and see how to do this within the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I did not take the point of sharing in the moment of what I am able to into consideration, where in I did not take the conversationpartner as life into consideration where in I did not take myself as life into consideration by stating on forehand that I am not going to expand on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘is it not enough when I say that I am not going to expand on it now, why should this come from someone else?’ where in I feel threatened as if I can not decide for myself to share or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel questioned within my decision to not yet share and within this, questioned within my ability to make a decision to do so or not by myself where in it is not the fact of not yet sharing that is actually questioned but it is the statement on forehand in/as the mind that is questioned here and that I should question for and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically not share and to not take the value of sharing into consideration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only think about myself within the decision to share or not share where in I experience this as ‘my decision’ as mine as something that another has nothing to do with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to own my own process and feel threatened when there are questions asked about it that I stated on forehand to not yet share.

Then why do I not want to share already? Because I did not have yet walked into physical reality what I have realised and I fear that if I already share, I ‘loose’ what I have realised and ‘fall back’ into self-doubt. Within this I see a fear of  ‘not being understood’ and so, I start ‘explaing myself’ and so to prevent myself for this, I make the statement that ‘I am not going to expand on it now’.

The points in itself are relevant to take into consideration, however the fear gives an energetic experience as fear of loss of myself within the communication when I notice the situation as if I am not being understood. Funny in this is that I cannot be understood if I will not expand and will not answer questions so I keep myself in my own fear in place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being understood which brings me to the experience of needing to ‘explain myself’ to make myself clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share from the point of wanting to be understooda and so, expecting something from another instead of unconditionally sharing myself within the things that I am already able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lazy in the sharing as it costs me a lot of effort to express myself and bring for example insights into words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see within the moment what and how I can share within consideration of myself as another as being within the ability of myself in that moment and so instead I start protecting myself in/as the mind in a statement on forehand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage the conversation as sharing on forehand by the decision to not yet expand on a certain point as a way of control of myself in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to loose control within sharing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear intimicy within sharing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let anyone close within sharing myself within words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see anyone in me and only open up when I am really sad, which is not cool as in this way I only share the sad points in which I bring myself into reality as a ‘sad person’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only share the sad points in and as a fear that when sharing my insight, this will fade away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect positive energy to insights as a way to feel better about myself where in I use the insights as a way to protect myself against feeling less than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing the experience of feeling better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I first share a point, I will not live it anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share myself in and as a sad personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go blanc when I have the possibility to share and only bring certain aspects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tired of so many typing from ‘what I mean’ and so I prefer to not share and type so much.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unable to share in and as self-expression and always feel as if the sharing is incomplete and so, this gives only a certain aspect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be defined in only a certain aspect and so, prefer to not share where actually I do want to share myself, however this takes so much time and effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really see the ‘use’ of sharing in conversation and prefer to only share what is practical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see what others share, often as ‘so much talking about things that I already know’ which I do not want to be seen myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to bother or bore someone and so, prefer to keep it short and only share some summary or conclusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sharings into different variations as ‘boring’ or ‘interesting’ or ‘short’ or ‘long’ etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer summaries and conclusions and not the wide expanding to listen to and to speak, where in I try to take all into one summary or conclusion, where in I realise that I can make a conclusion or summary in process from every specific detail, to make it relevant, practical and easy to comprehend within sharing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things to be ‘talked dead’ into analysing in/as the mind and so, prefer to live things instead of ‘talking about things’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be ‘overanalysed’ and within this, being put into a certain box of analisation.

After forgiving these dimensions which seemed a bit incoherent and going ‘from here to there’, I see that the hidden fear as reason behind not yet wanting to share is that I am much more stable now and I do not yet want to share this, because I want to first ‘test’ and walk this stability for myself. This is fine, however a point of self-interest is that I do not yet want to hold myself (and be hold) accountable for myself in more self-responsibility so it is actually a bit of a post-poning of living my potential, also from a point of fear of ‘what if I will fall back’ which is more a fear of ‘what if I do not have some freetime anymore to entertain myself a bit’.

Where in I see that instead of simply sharing and moving on, I hold it within myself and actually enlarge it with this behaviour which makes it ‘something bigger’ than it is. As building up (at)ten(t)sion which I actually wanted to prevent by ‘not going to expand on it’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up attention as a tension within myself and within this, expectation where in I enlarge the energy and at the same time postpone the simply living of a realisation, by believing that I cannot live up to my own build up expectation which I project on others as ‘not yet wanting to share as I do not want to make expectations that I ‘cannot live up to’.

So a nice hidden pattern is coming to the surface.

Self-commitments will follow.

Embracing Self by Bernard Poolman

dejar-de-sentir-04_thumbArtwork see blog Marlen

Winged – Exploring Self Intimacy

——————————————————————————————————————-

Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 413 – To be Right

After writing out the blog of reacting to reactions, there is an example immediately where I go in reaction on reactions. When I look back, I see the moment of decision, where I decide to ‘step in’. I see a lot of points coming up that I need to write out and there is a ‘reason’ for acting like this that I will investigate; however this moment of decision is the first point that I will take self-responsibility for in self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. I would say, it is such an ‘obvious’ point and written out more than once by others, but within the reality-moment, I am full force stepping in and so not really recognize it for what it is, so the point needs writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to make it a clear flag-point for and within myself:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to step in, fully, and that I have the right to do this, because I am right in what I am speaking about, and so I fully experience as if I am right and that this is the right thing to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in and as an experience of being right and so believing that this is the right thing to do, where before the decision I was able to correct myself but from this moment and further, as I decided to step in, I am directed by ‘my decision’ in and as the mind now and keep on defending myself in and as this condition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my self-direction to and as a decision in and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, experience and perceive stepping in the mind as ‘a right thing to do’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe this one moment within myself, of stepping in and checking in myself, very fast in a moment, where in I make the conclusion that this is the right thing to do, because it feels right and ‘one’ and which I perceive as ‘sure’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘feeling one and sure’ is leading me to the right thing to do, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that ‘feeling right’ is coming forward out of the female-ego – a dimension that I noticed the whole conversation because I just spoken out this list of self-forgivenes-statements from Veno, but that I was not yet able to stop and correct myself so I missed some dimensions, and one of these dimensions is this ‘feeling one and sure’ – which I now see is ‘one’ because one with the female-ego as what I perceived to be, just as how the ego is set up and programmed, and ‘sure’ because I ‘feel one’ and what I speak about is ‘right’ , where in I did not take all dimensions in consideration, from myself and the other, the dimensions that I do not yet fully understand but somehow observe within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the other instead of on myself, and because I see something in the other that is ‘not right’ as not aligned, I must be right! instead of seeing, realising and understanding that 1-I may be seeing myself in the other and so project this ‘not being aligned’ on the other, which I need to check inside myself; and 2-no matter if the other is ‘right’ as aligned or not, I have no right to be right and ‘force my right upon the other’ in and as the mind,  as ‘being right’ is not the same as being aligned and ‘standing equal’ in and as the physical (in Dutch: ‘gelijk hebben’ is niet hetzelfde als ‘gelijk zijn’).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe myself doing something that was ‘not right’ taking everything in consideration, as I noticed little frictions, doubts and points to investigate, but still make the decision to step in, to be right and push through out of ‘not knowing how to do it differently’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the little and large signs within myself and the other, out of not knowing how to do it differently and not having an example of how to be equal in and as myself in communication with another being in a moment of unclarity which leads to disagreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have and create an experience of (fear of) being ‘wrong’ by participating in and as the experience of being ‘right’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself up in reaction in and as a search for confirmation from another being in and as an experience of being right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience it as ‘unfair’ to stop reacting when and as I am in an experience of being right, where in I realise that this is part of the same ego-experience fighting for it’s existance.

Self-corrections will follow.

Veno – Self Forgiveness – Female Ego

————————————————————————————————————

Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/