Dag 795 – Am I willing to be heard? Letting go of the least potential.

“Here, again – it is all about losing control. You have given some characters so much control, that it even regulates how you release the waste, which is that which you no longer require, but if you are releasing that which can be beneficial and the body disagrees with you – you’re going to become constipated, because your constitution which is what is best for you – is being Hijacked by your characters of fear, and therefore you are releasing as waste – which is actually nutrition for you, while a physical female form some very deep explosive self forgiveness is required where you face this and say “No More will I live half-heartedly, I will Live with my Whole Heart and Open myself to the Potential to be Heard, because unless I am willing to be Heard and willing to Feel pain – I will never be able to actually explore what is actually possible as love and pleasure”. Interestingly enough, one will allow yourself to be guided by your Fear, which is the Least Potential – instead of everything that would make you Whole, which is the Most Potential. Realise the Pattern – write it out, Forgive it and TALK about it with the Potential partner – no matter how strange it sounds. That is how one build intimacy which may result in Trust.”

We were having one of the weekly group chat’s on destonians.com (which is free to join for who is interested) where I was writing about ‘letting go’ and my issues with it. Here Leila suggested to re-read an old chat with Bernard as it seems very much related to this point and perhaps I see new dimensions in it. So I openend it up again and indeed I see how it is already describing the whole pattern in one chat, however to really walk it into detail within myself, it may take a life-time. To mention here that the releasing of waste is improving through time so I am walking it in the physical; what I see is that I walked through the fear in real time which was quite a journey. I would say it is time now to transcent it into the start of a new creation within and as myself, so no longer manifesting the fear-result from letting guide me by fear which is the least potential, but starting to open myself up for everything that would make me whole, which is the most potential.

I have taken out this alinea (here above) to start with – well, already in this alinea, there is sooo much written. I will start with self-forgiveness on one line to open it up for and within myself. What I notice with the writing of a blog, is that not everything can be written out in the blog but it has an effect also after writing, where the ‘opening up’ continues within myself and many times, I walk the continuing self-forgiveness after the writing of the blog and the point is here to walk so to speak; I did bring it ‘here’ for myself and actually with doing so, I am stating that ‘I am ready to take on this point within myself’ and so I do.

Here is the line I start applying self-forgiveness on:

“No More will I live half-heartedly, I will Live with my Whole Heart and Open myself to the Potential to be Heard, because unless I am willing to be Heard and willing to Feel pain – I will never be able to actually explore what is actually possible as love and pleasure”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and have lived half-heartedly by not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to be Heard and not willing to feel pain (of what may come from this) and instead, place myself in a position where I am willing to be Hurt because of placing myself in and staying in a position where I am not being heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose the easy way of ‘being hurt by another’, instead of actually doing the work and putting in the effort within myself to Will myself towards willing to be heard and willing to feel pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility for my own well-being by placing myself in and staying in a position where I am not being heard and so, keeping myself in my comfort-zone as the easy way of not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain and if I am hurt because of this, having a door open for (hidden) blame towards another as the potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on forehand, leaving a door open to blame the potential for me not being heard and instead, letting myself hurt in this which seems to be ‘done by’ the potential but in the starting-point, it is still me who have placed and kept myself in this position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the potential to not take responsibility and within this, hurting me, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am not living the most potential within and as myself as in ‘willing to be heard and willing to feel pain’ and so another will not be able to live the most potential within self and with me as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself and another / the potential within the least potential by letting myself guided by fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be willing to be heard and to be willing to feel pain and instead, trying to push the potential to go through their pain so that the potential will not hurt me anymore and so, I do not have to feel pain myself and am ‘automatically’ being heard without putting in the effort to express myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to get around ‘being heard and feeling pain’ and so actually choose the way to be hurt and so still, feeling pain but continuously in a compromised and abusive / manipulative way because I manipulate the situation myself, by letting myself guide by fear as the least potential and expressing me from this compromised starting-point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder why the potential is not living the most potential when all the while, I am not living the most potential by/as myself and so resonating and living ‘fear as guidance’ as the least potential.

When and as I see myself in a position where another is ‘hurting me’, I stop and breathe. I realize that I somehow, somewhere am not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain and so, somewhere /somehow, I am keeping my mouth closed from words that I need to express as the most potential or, that I am not willing to feel pain to transcent a point, which is now playing out as a consequential situation. I commit myself to find the point of fear that I need to transcent and apply self-forgiveness on it and to find the words to express within and as myself and so support myself to bring myself out of the compromised position; first within and when and as required, without.

When and as I see myself holding back to a potential within what I actually would like to express, I stop and breathe. I realize that I let myself guide by fear as my least potential, which may result in a consequential situation of being hurt. I commit myself to find what I fear (to loose) and to apply self-forgiveness on it and from here, support myself to bring myself into expression with words that are best for all (involved) as the most potential; to start and keep practicing over and over again and so accumulate in self-trust in very small steps, breathe by breathe, out of the easy way as the least potential and into self-expression as the most potential.

I commit myself to Will myself to be willing to be heard and to be willing to feel pain.

To be continued.


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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Dag 774 – Coming to an understanding of a character

For many many years in my life, as long as I am interested in relationships, I have pushed back and forward within myself within the polarity of wanting a relationship and then finding out that I can not (or don’t want) to really keep standing in it or another cannot (or don’t want) to really keep standing in it. And everytime I am looking for reasons within my own mind for why and how and what I can do more. What I see deep within me is that I on some level, start within a point of compromise and then I am not able to bring myself within the relationship, to a point of self-honesty and equality and oneness, in and as myself, while moving together to this point.

Af friend said years ago to me like ‘Ingrid, maybe you first need to find your own strength before you will be in a raltionship that you are satisfied with’ (or something like this). Here I also saw that this is real what she mentions, like this is the key, however I also found it quite daunting because I felt a lot of fear to walk this path – fear of never being able to walk with a partner on long term in and as the believe that ‘nobody wants to be with me if I do that’.

So within me I had always an idea of equality and oneness and that this is needed and what I am looking for in partnership, however I found myself time after time unable to bring this in reality and also to even speak about it from the start in a stable and clear way, also out of fear that another would not step in or would not stay. And so I walked many situations with every time the same pain when it did not go as how I would like it to go.

Within the past 6-7 years walking the Desteni I Process, I have found what I was looking for in standing up within principles that are considering myself, another and life as a whole and even more, how to practically move myself into this stand. Before this, I was not aware of how many layers I have build up within me where in I am actually ‘preventing’ myself from living my utmost potential – layers that I have stored in and as my mind-consciousness system and then integrated within my physical body and so, I am living this out in my physical reality because it has become a part of me.

This al together – which sounds like common sense and like ‘hey, easy, let’s do this’; which is not because the layers have so much integrated within all that I have become and so it takes time and effort to walk through, in writing, in the application of self-forgiveness and self-correction and then walking the correction in physical reality – this all together brought me to the realization that I do not need to let go of a relationship or to let go of the potential to walk together yet alone, but I need to let go of…………a relationship-character.

I probably have created this as my main character where in I have created the most consequences for myself and indirectly for others as well in this. The consequences for myself have been mainly emotional an then manifesting all the emotional patterns within my physical body and so affecting my physical body and organ-functioning.

At the moment of this realization, that I could come to in a conversation with Sylvie, the intens emotional pain decreased. This is also showing how supportive it can be to speak things through within integrity and especially if both are walking the process of self-realization more actively. This will be of support to understand self and each other and keep standing in finding solutions that are life-supporting on long-term. With this realization I enabled and supported myself to pick myself up and move on. I now mainly need to focus in keeping myself together, focussing on my breathing, moving myself physically and not going again and again in this emotional state in moments that I feel the emotions lingering within me – which is many times a day. Every time realizing like ‘okay I am not loosing anything but a character that is not needed or beneficial for me anymore’. Because it is so easy to fall back or keep falling in believing the emotions and feelings to be real and then following up on them. Strange enough it makes me nervous and it feels like ‘I am doing something that I am not allowed to do’- like stepping out of a ‘code’ or something.

This is actually what I / we are doing in the Desteni I Process – getting to know myself in the characters that I have created and then layer by layer, peeling off the ‘false energetic identities’ that I have taken on through my life for a reason, to enable myself to bring myswelf through in a substantial way, into self-expression. I have hidden within this ‘identities’ and so made myselfkind of ‘stuck and imprisoned’ within this by my own acceptances and allowances and to ‘come to myself’ again, I need / needed to forgive and correct all these layers as identities.

I must say that only by now when writing this out, I start to understand what ‘characters’ are and how the layers in and as my mind, are build up from identities that I have taken on and integrated within/as myself. Because I have become this one main-character, it is not so easy to see what I have build up around and as myself, because I have become it. However this did not stop me from starting my Desteni I Process seven years ago and along the way, I start to see and understand more and more. I have learned through my life the importance to start with what I do see and understand and then walk from here into a deeper awareness that is infinite in a way, because I am expanding in it.

So a ‘not (yet) understanding of everything’ can not be an excuse to not start with what we do understand in that moment.

A walk into understanding to be continued.

Thanks for reading and walking with!


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video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
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Dag 630 – The body-being-mind relationship – Physical effect of self-forgiveness

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The application of self-forgiveness is a tool to use to delete the emotional, feeling and thought patterns that we have believed, manifested and lived throughout our lives. In this manifesting, we even condition our own physical body to a state that is physically reflecting the believes that we have taken for granted, in/as the mind. So, from here, it is in common sense to see that the application of self-forgiveness can be used as well as a support to release the body from the falty patterns that we have made up in/as the mind throughout our lives and that have been lived throughout generations before us.

I have created consequenses within my own physical body. Here my own body is a point of cross-reference to see if I am effective in the application of self-forgiveness and to see if I am self-honest in it. Meaning: am I really honest about and towards myself in what I have taken for granted and what I have physically manifested, in how I have spoken, lived and behaved in a way that was not best for myself and so not best for all? So being self-honest means basicely: do I dare to see where I have not taken care of myself and/or another and so, created physical consequenses? Do I dare to face myself in this and admit to myself, okay, I did it wrong, I had no respect, let’s see how to bring forward solutions and better myself here. Self-honesty also means to dare to experience the pain that is caused, towards myself and towards another, from myself and/or from another, by living without respect and care. Here it is to be/become aware to not go into judgements again towards myself and/or another of how I/the other ‘did it all wrong’ and manifested consequenses, but rather see how to support myself within the moment, moving through the experiences and taking responsibility for it in/as myself, as well as for the point of control in it. Step by step, day by day.

Yesterday morning I was having difficulties within my large intestine – as many mornings, which means that I am having cramps within the intestine with the result of not being able to have a releasing stool. Throughout the past weeks, there are emotional reactions coming up while I am walking through points coming up that I see related to a manifested concept of ‘love’ as how it is known in this world and to emotional experiences of ‘neediness‘. This morning I decided to lay down with myself and start speaking self-forgiveness out load.

The moment I started speaking, my intestine started to make noises and I felt movements coming up inside and this kept on going while I was speaking the self-forgiveness. While speaking, emotions were coming up that I released within the words and that I released within an expression of crying. I went on with this until I felt as if a burden had gone, a burden that I was carying with me for already longer. How I do this is actually very simple: I lay down and start with what is coming up within me. I place my hands on places in my body/belly that are tensed or hurted, I push a little when necessary, I speak within a self-forgiveness statement what comes up in me and from here, see what further comes up. This can also be a memory that I have created emotional attachements towards. I do not go into ‘analysing’ what comes up in me but simply release myself from what I experience inside myself. I name it, I forgive myself for it and move on to the next. Here I bring the ‘falty patterns’ within a supportive expression for/as myself. I move myself through the emotional experiences while embracing myself in acceptance, towards and within understanding myself.

An hour or something more later, after this session of self-forgiveness I took a second cup of coffee (I have two in the morning) and I was able to go to the toilet again and release myself from the waste. Here I saw the movement direct related to how I released myself from the emotional burdens that I was holding on to within myself. They often say, when the large intestine is having difficulties to release, one is having difficulties to ‘let go’. Well, that I do recognize myself in for sure. However, how am I able to ‘let go’? As simply saying ‘okay, you have to let go’ is not enough, it has to be more practicle.

The application of self-forgiveness is the tool that I find most supportive in ‘letting go’. Self-forgiveness in itself, means ‘letting go’ of what I am holding on to in/as my mind, within thoughts and beliefs, within emotions, within feelings and within holding on to how I have defined myself in these thoughts, beliefs, emotions and feelings in/as my mind. So if we see how much we participate in thoughts, emotions and feelings during a day, during a week, during a lifetime until now, it is to see with common sense that it is not a solution to say ‘oh you are having difficulties with letting go so you have to let go’. This is not giving a specific tool of How to let go. It is not taken the mind consciousness system into consideration and it is not showing an awareness of how we specificely have created ourselves within and as this mind consciousness system; a system that we have accepted and allowed to manifest within and without ourselves. We have accepted and allowed to manipulate Life, within ourselves and without in this world by participating extensively within the mind consciousness system. So much that we even do not see, realize and understand how we did this, how we have accepted and allowed this and how we are responsible for this, within ourselves and without in this world.

So here I am walking through my own manifested consequenses, within my own body that I mainly experience within a disfunctional large intestine and emotional experiences coming up. The sounding of self-forgiveness is having an effect on this disfunctional pattern, the sounding of self-forgiveness is supporting in releasing the disfunctional beliefs and emotional experiences that I have physically manifested. In doing so, it is giving more room to my physical body to function properly.

The disfunctional pattern has manifested throughout the years during my life and so it’s not done in a moment and it is not the whole solution. After the letting go of the old, I have to create a new, healty script and live this script for/as myself and of course the body needs to be supported physically with for example suitable food and additional supplements. It’s an ongoing process of self-support. The application of (sounding) self-forgiveness is definitely a part of this support and it is a practical tool that entails a ‘letting go’.

Are you interested in learning how to use this tool of the application of self-forgiveness? This within the context of finding solutions for all live?

Visit this step by step course, it’s free online and available for everyone who has access to internet and the ability to write online.

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2012: Quantify Process – Speak Self Forgiveness OUT LOUD

Finding Physical Stability through Sounding Self Forgiveness.

Blog serie:

The mind-body relationship – Articulation and twinkling lips

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
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