Dag 682 – The mind-body relationship – Some fears during the flu


I am having pretty bad flu symptoms at the moment that I write this. It’s been a while ago that I have had this. It started with some slight symptoms and I could move on with my activities. Then at work, I felt the pain going towards my jaw, at the place where within two months, a crown will be placed. It hurted and here, I started to react with fear. That the pain would become worse and that the crown needed to be placed earlier, things like that. Since then the symptoms of the flu got worse (not especially with this tooth – it is like it was ‘passing by’ this area and because it is a ‘weak’ place, it hurted there more ) and I really need to stay at home and take some time to recover. I will write out some self-forgiveness on thoughts/experiences coming up during these days, related to the symptoms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear come in within myself within thoughts about the place in my jaw where a crown is going to be placed, where before this, I had no thoughts of fear about having some slight ‘flu’-symptoms as a bit of a rough throat for example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with myself during the days at home about wanting to use the time effectively but actually not being able to do anything constructive besides making some food and taking care for myself and the cats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my house will become dirty with lots of hair from the cats and me not being able to clean up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will become ‘too much’ to clean up, where actually the cleaning up will be the same as before, only with some more hair now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to feel myself like this from now on, not being able to do anything constructively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the virus/bacteria to take over within me, which is actually the same as fearing my mind/the thoughts to take over within and as me, consisting as/related to memories within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able anymore to take care for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able to direct all things in my life as combining work, projects, house-tasks and self-care/animal-care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impatience towards the flu-symptoms,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like wasting time when I am not able to do anything constructively because of feeling physically not well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on towards thoughts and emotions and within this, hurting my body/letting this ‘eat’ on my physical body within the tissue and let it become irritated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards the flu-symptoms very slightly within myself so that I do not directly notice this, and within this irritate myself/my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I would not be sensitive to a flu because I haven’t had this for a long time and so, did not build up fear towards this, where I do see now that there is a fear existing within me when and as it is happening and it also can be existing within me through family-memories where having a cold or getting a flu is accepted as that one should not kiss each other on the cheek for example when one is having a cold, because of ‘a risk’ of transmitting the cold/flu towards each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would not get the cold or flu and not wanting to participate in and as the thoughts/believes of transmitting a virus just by kissing another on the cheek.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder if the fear about my jaw has opened up towards the flu getting worse or that it would have got worse anyway.

I remember here having a chat with Sunette about me coughing after having some food, where she mainly advised me to slow down and not judge the coughing (I will write about this in a separate blog) and I noticed that this was the main point that caused the coughing/how I kept it continuing. I saw a related point with the flu-symptoms, that I was reacting to it, having difficulties with slowing down myself. So I see now that this is a point to consider in general: slowing down within myself and not judging what is physically happening but rather look at it and support myself within.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself reacting to physical symptoms and judging myself for this, to breathe and slow down within myself, meaning, looking at what is really existing within me in such a moment and where my thoughts are going to from here, forgive myself for the pattern within and related emotions coming up.

I commit myself to, when and as I see physical symptoms becoming worse in a moment, to stop and breathe and slow down, to lay down when and as necessary, to embrace myself and see what I am participating in within my mind and what the fear is and from here, forgive myself for what I think and believe and participate in.

I commit myself to investigate and write about the patterns that are coming up more prominent when and as I ‘become ill’ as here my mind shows me what I have not yet sorted out within myself with regards to my physical and physical activities that I am not being able to do in that moment.

I commit myself to, when and as I fear that the virus will take over, to stop and breathe and see what thoughts I participate in as a ‘virus that I allow to take over’ and instead, direct myself within, forgive myself for the fear and bring myself here in physical reality.

I commit myself to be carefull with viruses and bacteria, to support my immune-system where I can and to seek for medical support when and as needed and when not, to trust myself and take care of myself.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating in thoughts about cleaning the house and fear of not being able to do so, to stop, breathe and look with common sense to the hair in the house that I will be able to clean up within an hour, as soon as I feel physically better.

I commit myself to look at a virus with common sense, meaning to not fear it but to also not go into an experience of superiority as in ‘I will not get the flu’ as this is actually also based on fear, as a fear of ‘being caught’ in a mind-pattern that is lived within the family/society and so, existing as a memory within myself.

I commit myself to work constructively with memories as fear as thoughts that I see existing within me in relation to physical symptoms and assumptions about a virus and other dis-eases by looking at the thoughts and related emotions and/or feelings and forgive myself for the energetic attachements within, to create space for/within myself to look at memories and information with common sense.


Multi-dimensional information about the evolution of viruses:

The Evolution of Viruses – Reptilians – Part 243

The Evolution of Viruses (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 244

Fighting off Viruses – Reptilians – Part 245

The Virus and the Body – Reptilians – Part 246

Mind + Virus Versus Body – Reptilians – Part 247


The Evolution of the Common Cold – 2013 – Future of Consciousness – Part 44

Memories in Your Body – Quantum Systemization – Part 63


This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.


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Uil forgive




Dag 377 – The gift of Life by Roos – knowledge and information

Dag 374 – How Every Breath Counts

Dag 375 – The gift of Life by Roos – preference and ignorance

Dag 376 – Ignorance and preference – self-corrective statements

The evening before Roos died, I was participating in knowledge and information. And within this, I was not able to physically see what was going on and what was needed in that moment. I even believed that I was doing the right thing, altough I was not comfortable with and as myself that night. I believed ‘I had to put some lines’  and within this, put her back in her living space and decided to not check on her for one time. Several patterns came up in this, and I was gone, in and as the mind, going to bed. I felt a rush of adrenaline, I woke up 6 times. Oeps now I see, as I have noticed before, when there is coming up this adrenaline, I am doing something and/or want to do/want to say something in and as self-interest, in and as the mind. This time, I didnot even see this as a signal, I assigned it to a work-out lesson that I had that evening. I missed a lot; the mind was pretty much in control.

Afterwards there was no participation in guilt. I have participated in guilt many times, where actually I know that I am doing something in and as self-interest, but I decide to do it anyway with several reasons for it, and afterwards I experience guilt, in where the guilt gives somehow a better feeling again afterwards about doing this. The interviews of the Atlantean about guilt explain this very clearly. In this situations, when this happen, in the moment I am not really clear I am doing things in self-interest, but afterwards I see, oh yes of course, shit, that was not cool at all.

For the second time now since the starting of walking this process, I make a huge mistake within a believe that I was doing the right thing. So afterwards it’s like, wtf, where was I? How could I ever have done/have missed this? I was in knowledge and information. In knowledge and information, it was not such a bad solution to put her back in the space around her hutch, but it was a bad solution, because I look from the perspective of my own mind in and as memories, and place this on the moment in and as life here, and so I miss life here in the moment as myself.  I do not physically see what is going on, what is needed, I am not physically walking with the other being in and as myself, actually I am not here physically, but busy protecting myself in and as the mind in patterns that are triggered……participating in knowledge and information, trying to protect myself in and as these patterns. And so for this one specific moment, it was a bad solution, it was not best at all.

If I stop protecting myself in and as this patterns as memories, I have to see in these whole patterns, how I was in mistake in this my whole life, participating in and as control in the mind, and of course, the mind does not like this, and so, ‘throw up’ a huge protection mechanism, to try to survive in and as these patterns in and as a belief of having done and doing the right thing, and within this, harms life in general, from myself, from everything and everyone, and in this specific case the life of Roos. To become clear on this is the Gift of Life by Roos.

So, this whole pattern is opening up now. Because I can and do not will allow myself anymore to stay in this compromising patterns. It did manifest and manifests in very small things, and I somehow always put it back under the carpet, which was possible because it was so small, so ‘not seen’ and so ignored, by from my perspective, everyone around me where I grew up, and within this I gave the mind space to use this to ignore it myself in a way. Like half seeing it, working with it, and half allowing it as a backdoor. Because, if I decide to not accept and allow myself to compromise myself anymore, the consequence is that…..I stand alone.

And within this, the system and emotion of/as loneliness is showing it’s face.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself in and as knowledge and information in and as the mind, in and as memories or solutions from different situations, which I use now to put on this situation in and as knowledge and information, without seeing physically in and as this situation in and as this specific moment, as what is going on specifically in this moment in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use knowledge and information as a way to protect myself from being here, in and as the physical, in and as a eventual not knowing what to do and how to approach in and as the mind, which gives an experience of uncertainty and maybe even desperation in this, and so to stay out of this experience in and as myself, I use knowledge and information to direct myself, out of the experience in and as the mind and to direct the situation in and as the mind into my own approach of control, which leads to an ignorance of the specifity of life in and as the living moment, in and as breath.

When and as I see myself going into a memory as knowledge and information, to search for a solution to face a specific situation in and as this physical reality, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that I am facing a situation that I donot know how to approach, and that I tend to reach to memories in and as the mind, to keep me out of this experience of ‘new’, of uncertainty, as never have done before.

I commit myself to allow myself to stay in and as a new situation in and as an experience of uncertainty, as only in and as this uncertainty, I will be able to find a new and living approach in and as a support of and as life, and within this, find the solution of life, in and as breath, in and as myself or eventual with the support of another being, to not give up on life anymore just because I don’t know how to do things but instead of this, stay here, breathing through the uncomfortability of the experience of uncertainty, seeing how to walk from here and taking time in and as this moment to be or become specific as aware of what is going on, and investigate and self-forgive in writing and/or out-loud the uncertainty and nervousness that is coming up in this approach inside myself, as I see, realize and understand that I keep myself locked in this pattern if I listen to the energetic experiences inside myself.

File:Uncertainty principle.gif

(Uncertainty Principle – Wikipedia)

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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
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