Dag 672 – My body-being-mind awareness speaking

leuke-plaatjes-mensen-organen-792827455

I have asked for an individualised interview through the Portal with my physical body and especially with my large intestine, so that I can understand more what is going on within my physical body and use symptoms as support for myself to walk through certain patterns within the mind consciousness system in/as myself.

“My large intestine is speaking in the fore-ground but my whole mind-being-body awareness on a very deep level comes through to explain how this interrelated connection is set up within/as me. All my organs are under pressure in different ways and this has been so for most of my life because of the emotional suppressed transferences.”

“Each time I access an emotion or feeling this gets discharged, channeled, layered, stored in the physical body. Within most people, the emotional and feeling energy gets channeled through the ‘muscle energy highways’ through the muscles and through the veins of the physical body. So for most people the mind consciousness energy moves through the muscles. This is so because the muscle tissue is strong and more absorbant, detailed and specific in its structure and geomatry to absorb, channel, discharge, layer, move the mind-consciousness energy as one access it in real time moments. Like networks and train-tracks in the muscle tissue group of the physical body.”

“Within my physical body, my mind did not set up my emotional and feeling energy bodies movements and channeling and networking and absorbtion through the muscle groups but through the organs. The heart, intestines, stomach, bladder, kidneys, liver are doing the work that the rest of my body should actually be doing. It is a generational thing, meaning that there are some people within my past generations who have also had this problem. It is not life threathening and it allowed me to on an early age have an awareness of my emotional and feeling energy and where in I do get emotional but not allow myself to be too much overwhelmed or pulled into emotions and feelings, but am quickly able to slow myself down and look at things with clarity.  So this one could call a ‘gift in disguise’.”

“The physical consequense of this ‘set up’ is that my organs have been most of my life a bit under pressure –  but throughout my life, my body reasonably adapted; it strengthened my intestines, heart, organs. As explained has my muscle tissue not been used as a ‘muscle energy highway’ and because of not being used for this, the muscle tissue deteriorated to some degree; this because a lot of muscle development has been preprogrammed to be in line with the development and evolution of the mind where the muscles are normally be used by the mind consciousness system (and so ‘strengthening’ in a way). This is causing for the rest of my muscles and physical body to be and feel more ‘weak’ or less strong.”

This first part of the interview is clarifying a lot of what I am walking from about the age of 16 (I am 42, almost 43 at the moment). I have taken on everything I could to investigate and support my organs, all related within the area of natural medicine and I am still working in this environment. I did not know of this set up as how it is described within the interview. But I did notice that ‘something was not as how it should be’ when I looked at my physical condition and this in relation to my life in general. I did find out pretty early that certain organ manifestations were related to emotional experiences and I noticed in some degree the suppression there of within myself; I also found out later in life that feeling experiences influenced me physically very much so I could not allow myself to really dive into feelings as for example are coming up in a so called ‘love relationship’ as I could phycically not handle the energy within my body for let’s say more than a week. So I often was within situations where I or the other stopped this relationship-process somehow. Which in itself I saw as a pattern and that bothered me a lot, because I did not really nor completely understand how I could support myself through.

With the natural medicine and food alignments I have through the years found ways to support, strengthen and stabilize my organs more or less (where in my physical condition and some organs had been weakened pretty much in my late twenties and begin thirties) but during this I noticed that there was a mind-influence that I could not get a hold on and so, the physical support is only ‘working’ to some degree. I did see a direct relation with symptoms within my organs and what I did not understood, is how I could have so much physical influence of my mind and others not, while of course I have my emotional patterns as everyone else, but I did not see them as so much more extensive than others, but sometimes started to believe that they are in someway. So this is all creating extra energy again of reacting to what happens within my body without really understanding how it works. Which is influencing my organs again, etc.

I do see now why I saw the mind-body relationship direclty within myself. I did not understand how it could not be recognized by many others because within myself, it was obvious existing. I do now understand how this can be set up differently. Standing up and finding solutions for what we sense in a way, is however another story. I can describe it now as that I need my own beingness-direction here and I can only find myself within and while walking through the mind and learn how I have manifested this within my physical body. We all have things within ourselves that we do ‘sense’ but cannot see completely by ourself alone. The information given within this interview is one example of this. I do need support in this and so has everyone points where support from others is needed.

When I started walking the Desteni I Process, I noticed to have finally found a structure and support to really get to know and support myself within this trinity of the mind-being-body relationship and I continue walking this until it is done, for myself and others. But only now with the information of my mind-being-body awareness itself on a very deep level through the Portal, I do understand why I physically experience myself as how I do. It supports me to accept the physical consequenses and I do no longer need to ‘blame’ myself for it – something that I could not really forgive myself for because I did not really understand the set up within my body and how it is related to my physical condition and mind patterns.

So, I have a new starting-point to walk from now within this mind-being-body interconnectedness; things that I could not really place into context are opening up and I am grateful for this – where in my organs will be of support to walk through different personality systems. In the second part of the interview, the large intestine is giving more detailed information of personality systems related to this organ, which is something that I need to take on at the moment. I will not expand on this here as it is something that I first need to investigate, forgive and walk through for myself.

At the same time I will move on with the physical support and alignment as how I have learned myself to do throughout the years as a physical basic-platform. I do no longer need to worry about why my muscles are not really building up but will see if I can keep them stable and in form as they are and how I am already doing, to keep on walking my life and process in/as the physical on earth.

So for whomever is having questions that you would like to see clarified as a support to understand (and so forgive) yourself and your physical body, I can really suggest an individualised or private interview through the Portal. This combined with walking the Desteni I Process as self-support to start walking with and through your mind, into the physical body. As a way to start walking towards and standing up in oneness and equality with and as Life as a whole.

And to learn that we are able to support ourselves and each other within this, that we are able to change within and as ourselves to what is best for all, slowly, together yet alone, alone yet together, if we are willing to do so. The ones who are reading this blog, are most likely belonging to the group of people that do have the possibility to already start, this with regards to our position in this world and related to money and basic needs providence.

I find it the greatest gift to learn how to support myself and stand together with others within this. Will it be challenging? Yes. For sure. For myself I can say, it is as challenging as what I had to walk before, alone with myself and only a few others and it is only getting better while I understand more and more of myself and because of walking with already many others around the world who have made the same decission to do so. Within this I am an example that one is able to face oneself within one’s emotions without getting lost in it. I have faced pretty much of it and still need to open up all the things I have suppressed. A process that my organs will support me with.

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Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
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http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

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Dag 630 – The body-being-mind relationship – Physical effect of self-forgiveness

forgive-yourself2

The application of self-forgiveness is a tool to use to delete the emotional, feeling and thought patterns that we have believed, manifested and lived throughout our lives. In this manifesting, we even condition our own physical body to a state that is physically reflecting the believes that we have taken for granted, in/as the mind. So, from here, it is in common sense to see that the application of self-forgiveness can be used as well as a support to release the body from the falty patterns that we have made up in/as the mind throughout our lives and that have been lived throughout generations before us.

I have created consequenses within my own physical body. Here my own body is a point of cross-reference to see if I am effective in the application of self-forgiveness and to see if I am self-honest in it. Meaning: am I really honest about and towards myself in what I have taken for granted and what I have physically manifested, in how I have spoken, lived and behaved in a way that was not best for myself and so not best for all? So being self-honest means basicely: do I dare to see where I have not taken care of myself and/or another and so, created physical consequenses? Do I dare to face myself in this and admit to myself, okay, I did it wrong, I had no respect, let’s see how to bring forward solutions and better myself here. Self-honesty also means to dare to experience the pain that is caused, towards myself and towards another, from myself and/or from another, by living without respect and care. Here it is to be/become aware to not go into judgements again towards myself and/or another of how I/the other ‘did it all wrong’ and manifested consequenses, but rather see how to support myself within the moment, moving through the experiences and taking responsibility for it in/as myself, as well as for the point of control in it. Step by step, day by day.

Yesterday morning I was having difficulties within my large intestine – as many mornings, which means that I am having cramps within the intestine with the result of not being able to have a releasing stool. Throughout the past weeks, there are emotional reactions coming up while I am walking through points coming up that I see related to a manifested concept of ‘love’ as how it is known in this world and to emotional experiences of ‘neediness‘. This morning I decided to lay down with myself and start speaking self-forgiveness out load.

The moment I started speaking, my intestine started to make noises and I felt movements coming up inside and this kept on going while I was speaking the self-forgiveness. While speaking, emotions were coming up that I released within the words and that I released within an expression of crying. I went on with this until I felt as if a burden had gone, a burden that I was carying with me for already longer. How I do this is actually very simple: I lay down and start with what is coming up within me. I place my hands on places in my body/belly that are tensed or hurted, I push a little when necessary, I speak within a self-forgiveness statement what comes up in me and from here, see what further comes up. This can also be a memory that I have created emotional attachements towards. I do not go into ‘analysing’ what comes up in me but simply release myself from what I experience inside myself. I name it, I forgive myself for it and move on to the next. Here I bring the ‘falty patterns’ within a supportive expression for/as myself. I move myself through the emotional experiences while embracing myself in acceptance, towards and within understanding myself.

An hour or something more later, after this session of self-forgiveness I took a second cup of coffee (I have two in the morning) and I was able to go to the toilet again and release myself from the waste. Here I saw the movement direct related to how I released myself from the emotional burdens that I was holding on to within myself. They often say, when the large intestine is having difficulties to release, one is having difficulties to ‘let go’. Well, that I do recognize myself in for sure. However, how am I able to ‘let go’? As simply saying ‘okay, you have to let go’ is not enough, it has to be more practicle.

The application of self-forgiveness is the tool that I find most supportive in ‘letting go’. Self-forgiveness in itself, means ‘letting go’ of what I am holding on to in/as my mind, within thoughts and beliefs, within emotions, within feelings and within holding on to how I have defined myself in these thoughts, beliefs, emotions and feelings in/as my mind. So if we see how much we participate in thoughts, emotions and feelings during a day, during a week, during a lifetime until now, it is to see with common sense that it is not a solution to say ‘oh you are having difficulties with letting go so you have to let go’. This is not giving a specific tool of How to let go. It is not taken the mind consciousness system into consideration and it is not showing an awareness of how we specificely have created ourselves within and as this mind consciousness system; a system that we have accepted and allowed to manifest within and without ourselves. We have accepted and allowed to manipulate Life, within ourselves and without in this world by participating extensively within the mind consciousness system. So much that we even do not see, realize and understand how we did this, how we have accepted and allowed this and how we are responsible for this, within ourselves and without in this world.

So here I am walking through my own manifested consequenses, within my own body that I mainly experience within a disfunctional large intestine and emotional experiences coming up. The sounding of self-forgiveness is having an effect on this disfunctional pattern, the sounding of self-forgiveness is supporting in releasing the disfunctional beliefs and emotional experiences that I have physically manifested. In doing so, it is giving more room to my physical body to function properly.

The disfunctional pattern has manifested throughout the years during my life and so it’s not done in a moment and it is not the whole solution. After the letting go of the old, I have to create a new, healty script and live this script for/as myself and of course the body needs to be supported physically with for example suitable food and additional supplements. It’s an ongoing process of self-support. The application of (sounding) self-forgiveness is definitely a part of this support and it is a practical tool that entails a ‘letting go’.

Are you interested in learning how to use this tool of the application of self-forgiveness? This within the context of finding solutions for all live?

Visit this step by step course, it’s free online and available for everyone who has access to internet and the ability to write online.

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2012: Quantify Process – Speak Self Forgiveness OUT LOUD

Finding Physical Stability through Sounding Self Forgiveness.

Blog serie:

The mind-body relationship – Articulation and twinkling lips

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Proces van zelfverandering:
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De Kronieken van Jezus

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https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
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Uil forgive

Dag 607 – The mind-body relationship – When will I succeed?

wortel voorhouden

Last week I was hosting a Google Hangout about the subject Breathing and The Body. Afterwards we noticed that it were actually two subjects that we discussed in one hangout that became longer than the time I planned to stay within. However for the rest we were all three (Maite, Martijn and I) satisfied about the content and discussions.

Before starting about the body, Maite suggested to keep an eye on how I placed the relationship between physical symptoms and walking process, to not put it as ‘walking process to solve physical problems/symptoms/complains’ but more focus on how the physical symptoms can function as a guide within who I am in relationship to myself and my physical body. Although this was also my starting-point towards this subject, I noticed that within one question, I mixed these two approaches a bit through each other where in I saw that unaware, I was still pushing the point of wanting to ‘solve my physical complains’ through walking process and actually, I want it NOW lol and this playing out each day again, waiting for this to happen.

One can imagine that this is giving pressure on myself and my physical body and within this, I noticed that I was waiting for myself to ‘succeed’ in this and if not, I would not yet allow to really stand for and share what I am walking in/as this process of self-realization, because as long as the physical complains are here and/or are coming back or even may come back, I did not really succeed and so, not allowed by myself to stand and share.

Here I do not take everything into consideration, I fear to do so because what if there are aspects and dimensions that make it impossible to completely ‘solve’ these physical complains during my life in/as the physical? Then I will never be able to ‘succeed’ so to speak. This is the problem with trying to reach a ‘good health’ as it is like a picture of a carriage with a donkey in front of it who is walking behind a carrot on a line, the carrot is holded right before it’s nose but as the donkey walks, the carrot goes foreward because it is carrying the carriage with the one who is holding the line and so, the donkey will not be able to eat the carrot. Or, walking in circles actually, the circles of consiousness. To clarify that animals are not walking behind a carrot but we as humans are doing so in/as the mind while sitting on the box of the carriage, holding the line with the carrot and this picture is a projection of our human mind as how we as humans are in/as the mind, directing life by how we are walking in circles and focus on the result that we project in/as the mind instead on focussing on who are are in/as life within the walking.

Here I notice that I fear to have to live with the physical complains from a spastic colon through all my live. And this fear I am projecting forward as an already created road for myself where in I keep myself prison in/as an experience of fear and so, in/as the mind. Which will enlarge the tension on the large intestine. In which I will enlarge the experience of not succeeding ever.

Theoretical it is not so difficult to grasp, however in the moment of finding myself within the uncomfortability of the spastic state and within this, an unability to release myself from the physical waste (poo), I am having the most difficulties with who I am in relation to myself and my physical body, It is also already an accumulated situation where in I was not aware yet of how I exactly build the tension in the days before, mixed with an accumulation build up throughout my whole life and foundated with some predisposition within the large intestine coming from the familiy-line. So it is quite an integrated and complex state that is physically manifested.

However, if I keep and place my focus on who I am within this process and physically manifested and integrated state, I empower myself to work with that part that I do have a direct influence on, namely who I am within and as myself, being and becoming aware of myself in participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions and from here, seeing how this is influencing myself and my physical body. Even that might be one step too far as this integrated relationship of mind-body-self is developed throughout time and so, several dimensions are active and/or already in an activated state at the same time through which it is still difficult to directly see how my mind-participation is of influence on this specific body-part. I do know that it is of influence but focussing on the finish is not of support for myself of that what I am able and need to walk in small steps in my daily life.

So here I find a sort of reset for walking process from what I have started to walk until now (which is about 3,5 -4 year). When we start walking process, we do not always know what we are stepping into and for me, I only saw and was clear that within the Desteni I Process I will be able to keep on walking with/as myself and others doing the same where in the mind-body relationship is considered. How exactly this will unfold will develop over time while walking and I notice it is more or less in the direction that I was already seeing at the start and at the same time, it is different than what I could comprehend and so much more encompassing as it is including everything. And this is what I did not have learned throughout my life, to include everything and everyone. This is what Life is doing, Life is including itself actually.

As long as I am excluding someone or something, within and/or without myself, I can be sure that I am not standing in oneness and equality in/as life. It is remarkable how something so ‘for the obvious’ can be so difficult to integrate within/as myself to really live and apply and it is even more remarkable how I and we as human beings have let it come this far, to this state of separation within and without.

There is no other solution than to walk it back and learn to understand, forgive and correct that what I have accepted and allowed, within and without myself and while doing so, stop the separation from myself as life. It is not only ‘me fixing my physical complains’ as it is an interconnected process that is including all and everything that exists. Which is starting at home, in my daily life. Where in it seems as if there are more important things to do than learning to communicate with the one’s living nearby. And so it is easy to let myself and my focus be distracted to ‘something bigger outside myself’ in which I unable myself to do anything. But I am able to something in my nearby environment and relationships. Everyday a bit. So that is where I start and move on. Actually I need to go even more inside, into the relationship with myself with and within my physical body as here, the whole universe is actually playing out, as so within so without. The without as a reflection from the within.

To be continued.

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

change your angleThe mind-body relationship – Timeline

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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
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video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

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Dag 606 – Vast in onbegrip

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Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf vastgezet te ervaren in onbegrip ten aanzien van mijn darmwerking.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet te begrijpen hoe het komt dat binnen vijf dagen mijn darmwerking verandert van een gezonde aanzet tot ontlasten tot een volledig uitblijven van ontlasten.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet te zien hoe ik een volledig uitblijven van ontlasten en opbouw door een in gebreke blijven, verzuimen of niet nakomen van het gewaarzijn als aanwezig zijn in en als mijn fysiek op het moment dat ik dit opbouw, op momenten dat er veel drukte om me heen is in een situatie waarvoor ik verantwoordelijkheid draag.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb in gebreke te blijven ten aanzien van de verantwoordelijkheid voor en als mezelf op het moment dat ik verantwoordelijk ben voor een bepaalde situatie wat zich uit in een focus en gedrag van controleren op hetgeen zich afspeelt buiten mij en een negeren van hetgeen zich afspeelt binnenin mij.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf en mijn eigen fysiek te compromitteren ten behoeve van iets of iemand buiten mij wat ik denk te moeten controleren.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het oneerlijk te vinden dat ik me fysiek niet eenvoudig kan ontlasten in iedere situatie of zelfs, in geen enkele situatie terwijl een ander doodleuk en overal naar de wc wandelt en zich ontlast.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb geen verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor mijn fysieke ontlasting.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me te schamen voor mijn fysieke ontlasting, zowel voor als het komt en zowel voor als het uitblijft.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te hebben besloten me niet zomaar fysiek te ontlasten maar hier een rol in te gaan spelen, in en als een beslissing tot afscheiding.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te beslissen om me af te scheiden van mijn fysieke functie tot ontlasten ten behoeve van me beter voelen dan een ander in en als de geest, zonder te zien, realiseren en begrijpen dat dit beter voelen tijdelijk is en dat dit leidt tot een fysiek slechter voelen wat weer leidt tot ook een slechter voelen in en als de geest.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het gevoel te hebben niet mee te kunnen komen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het op te geven om mee te komen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat het nooit meer goed komt met mijn darmen en dat ik de rest van mijn leven blijf struggelen met mijn ontlastingspatroon.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat het mijn schuld is dat ik moeite heb met ontlasten en dat dit een groot effect heeft op mijn fysieke ontlastingspatroon, in plaats van in te zien, realiseren en begrijpen dat er meerdere factoren een rol spelen en dat ik ‘erfelijk belast’ ben met bepaalde patronen die zich al in de familielijn fysiek gemanifesteerd hebben.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te vinden dat ik dit gewoon op moet kunnen lossen en ondertussen niet te zien hoe.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me moederziel en hopeloos alleen te voelen in dit patroon binnenin mij.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb erg lang te wachten met ondersteuning vragen en zelf eerst alleen net zolang door te gaan totdat ik het echt niet meer weet en dan pas uit te reiken naar een ander.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat ik verzwelg in mezelf in het niet vragen van ondersteuning.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een gedachte in mezelf vast te houden ‘dat het toch geen zin heeft om hulp te vragen en dat een ander toch niet begrijpt wat ik bedoel’.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te zouden willen dat iemand anders eens zou voelen hoe ik me elke dag fysiek ervaar en dan zou ik graag perspectieven horen hoe die ander het aan zou pakken of hoe die ander zich op zou stellen want ik weet het niet meer en misschien doe ik het wel helemaal verkeerd.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me af te vragen of ik me niet vreselijk aanstel en het erger maak in de geest dat het is en hierin mezelf weer gauw te onderdrukken.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me helemaal vastgedraaid te ervaren in dit patroon in geest en fysiek.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te weigeren om uit te reiken naar een ander ter zelfondersteuning.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken dat die ander het toch niet weet dus wat heeft het voor zin om te vragen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken het beter te weten of eigenlijk, te denken het beter te moeten weten aangezien het mijn lichaam is, terwijl ik ook niet meer weet.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat ik te laat ben/zal zijn en dat ik mijn lichaam kapot maak maar niet zo erg dat ik dood ga en dus vergeef ik mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren te moeten leven met een kapot lichaam waarin iedereen meewarig naar me kijkt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me groot te houden omdat ik niet wil dat anderen meewarig naar me kijken.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb hetgeen ik als ondersteuning voor handen heb, niet volledig in te zetten in en als een gedachte als angst dat ik ‘later dan niets meer reserve heb’ voor als het later mis gaat, in plaats van in te zien, realiseren en begrijpen dat ik op deze manier de situatie in stand houd en voortzet tot dit moment van later en mezelf geen mogelijkheid of kans geef om hier nu doorheen te wandelen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te wachten tot de ontlasting komt en als die niet komt, de hele dag te blijven wachten in en als de hoop dat het toch nog komt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me af te vragen hoe ik en we als mens zo verknipt geworden kunnen zijn en ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb dit bizar te vinden.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het zo bizar te vinden dat ik er geen verantwoordelijkheid voor wil nemen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb geen verantwoordelijkheid te willen nemen voor bepaalde patronen aangezien ze ‘niet van mij zijn’, in plaats van in te zien, realiseren en begrijpen dat alles wat zich binnen mijn lichaam afspeelt, zich onder mijn verantwoordelijkheid bevindt, ongeacht van hoe en of het in eerste instantie is doorgegeven en/of overgenomen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb geen verantwoordelijkheid te willen nemen voor hetgeen in mij is doorgegeven en/of hetgeen ik heb overgenomen en alleen verantwoordelijkheid te willen nemen voor wat ik zelf gecreëerd heb, zonder exact te kunnen onderscheiden wat ik heb overgenomen en wat ik gecreëerd heb.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me dom te voelen dat ik ogenschijnlijk eenvoudige patronen niet zelf zomaar stop en hier een tweede bij nodig heb om mee te zien.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niks meer leuk te vinden en angst te ervaren om niets meer leuk te vinden en hier in depressie te belanden waardoor mijn darmen niet meer bewegen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat mijn darmen niet meer bewegen als ik niets meer leuk vind of als oplossing weet, in plaats van in te zien, realiseren en begrijpen dat huist met oplossingen en voortstuwingen in en als de geest, ik mijn darm verkramp en vervorm in iets wat de darm misschien anders wil.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een gestoorde relatie op te bouwen met mijn dikke darm en de knijpbeweging.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me te bemoeien met de knijpbeweging van mijn darm en hierin voort te duwen/te pushen, tot aan een punt waarin mijn darm stilvalt en juist niets meer doet om de eigen balans te hervinden.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb constant angst te ervaren voor het moment van stil vallen van mijn darm en dit zolang mogelijk uit te stellen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb tevens angst te ervaren voor een stoelgang die maar doorgaat waarin ik angst voor verlies van controle ervaar.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb voor het verkrijgen van een ervaring van controle in en als mezelf in en als de geest, mijn darm te zijn gaan controleren in de knijpbeweging en voortstuwing van de voedselbrij.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het gevoel te hebben om de brij heen te draaien zonder precies te zien waar ik omheen draai.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb terecht te komen bij ‘het heeft toch geen zin’ waarin het lijkt dat ik het rondje gelopen heb zonder iets werkelijk op te lossen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat ik iets op moet lossen of in moet zien en hier constant naar te zoeken, naar het ‘verlossende punt’.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te zoeken naar het verlossende punt als naar de heilige graal en dit niet meer los te kunnen laten naarmate mijn darmen zich minder ontlasten en ik niet meer weet hoe ik hier in mijn lichaam aanwezig kan zijn aangezien ik een constante paniek en fysieke druk en ongemak ervaar zonder enige vooruitgang.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het niet vol te houden in dit punt van fysiek ongemak en het hierin op te geven en weg te gaan, de geest in.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb het belachelijk te vinden dat mijn darm het niet gewoon doet.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet werkelijk serieus te nemen dat reacties en gedachten in en als de geest, mijn lichaam en darmwerking zoveel kunnen beinvloeden terwijl ik tegelijkertijd wel weet dat het zo is, maar dit niet werkelijk, fysiek zie en dus is het een ‘weten’ maar niet volledig/absoluut toepassen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf vast te houden in een weten.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat ik meer verantwoordelijkheid moet nemen omdat ik tot meer in staat ben, terwijl ik niet meer kan, zo moe ben van deze patronen in en als mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet te kunnen geloven dat ik kan en moet leven met zoveel afval binnenin mij.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb (een deel van) mijzelf in fysieke onschuld en expressie te hebben opgegeven voor een delen in en als de geest in seksualiteit en schoonheid.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te veroordelen voor het opgeven van (een deel van) mijn fysieke expressie voor een seksuele uitstraling in en als de geest.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb controle te ervaren over mezelf in seksuele/fysieke expressie.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat ik het nooit meer goed kan maken met mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat het pas goed is als mijn darmen naar behoren werken.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet in en als mijn fysiek te willen leven als mijn darmen niet naar behoren kunnen functioneren.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat mijn darmen niet naar behoren (kunnen) functioneren door mijn default-patronen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf de schuld te geven van mijn default-patronen en hierin te verharden naar mezelf toe.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te verharden naar mezelf toe.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te ervaren alsof ik de enige ben die het zo moeilijk heeft met zichzelf en te denken dat ik hierin een uitzondering ben die het zichzelf extreem moeilijk maakt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te veroordelen dat ik het mezelf zo moeilijk maak en mezelf hierin op te geven in plaats van mezelf hierin te ondersteunen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat het geen zin heeft om mezelf hierin te ondersteunen in en als een geloof dat ‘het toch niet lukt’ en mezelf zo vast te houden in een cirkel van ‘het heeft geen zin’ en ‘ik kan het niet’ en ‘ik weet het niet’.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat het me me niet zal lukken om mezelf te ondersteunen aangezien ik niet weet hoe.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb in en als een niet-weten, de mogelijkheid tot een lukken op te geven.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb angst te ervaren dat mijn darmwand het op een gegeven moment begeeft en de brei in mijn buikholte terecht komt door de enorme druk die op de verkrampingen in de darmwand ligt als de druk die normaal gesproken de brei via de anus naar buiten duwt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te ervaren als een failure, een mislukking in en als dit fysieke default-patroon, waarvan ik me realiseer dat dit een patroon is die ik via de vader-familielijn heb meegekregen/overgenomen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb niet te hebben geweten dat dit zo moeilijk zou zijn en het moeilijk te vinden om met een default-patroon op de achtergrond te leven waarin ik me niet kan ontspannen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat ik dit allemaal geheim moet houden en niet mag delen aangezien het een familiegeheim is, zonder te weten wat dit geheim eigenlijk inhoudt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb geheimen te bewaren en hiermee akkoord te gaan zonder te weten wat de inhoudt ervan is.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb me in een constante ervaring van ‘ik doe het fout’ te bevinden als mijn darmen op spanning staan voortkomend uit een default-patroon.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat het me nooit gaat lukken om constant zo specifiek en gewaar te worden en/of zijn dat ik mijn darmen niet langer een default-patroon instuur en in plaats hiervan, mezelf te sturen in en als de adem.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken en geloven dat ik het nooit gedaan krijg.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken dat mijn darmen het toch niet zullen gaan doen, ondanks dat ik mezelf zou stoppen in reactie en gedachten in en als de geest en dat het dus ‘geen zin heeft’.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel om hetgeen ik niet begrijp of waar ik niet uitkom in en als een reactiepatroon in en als mezelf, op skype uit te schrijven voor een perspectief van mijn buddy en zo stap voor stap te wandelen.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel om degene die de hoge darmspoelingen begeleidt, als en wanneer die plaatsvinden, haar om ondersteuning te vragen in het loslaat proces van de controlemechanismen aangezien dit haar specialiteit is en zij dit zelf gewandeld heeft en haar aanwijzingen te integreren in hoe ik het proces wandel.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel om door te gaan.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel me gewaar te zijn van de woorden ‘het heeft geen zin’ en ‘ik kan het niet’ en ‘ik weet het niet’ en mezelf hierin te vergeven en stoppen met deelname.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel me te focussen op het vergeven en stoppen met deelname in energetische ervaringen, alvorens correcties te willen doorvoeren of toepassen.

Ik realiseer me dat ik alles doe vanuit een ervaring van boosheid en verongelijking en dat ik hierin verhard.

Ik realiseer me dat ik focus op teveel buiten mezelf en te weinig op hetgeen in mijn directe leefomgeving plaatsvindt.

Ik realiseer me dat ik hetgeen in mijn directe leefomgeving plaatsvindt zie als ‘niet genoeg’.

Ik realiseer me dat ik me focus op hetgeen ik niet begrijp en geen directe invloed op heb ten aanzien van mijn darm zoals bijvoorbeeld de voortbeweging van de voedselbrij en hetgeen ik wel invloed op heb, zoals op de relatie met mezelf en wie ik ben in gedachten, gevoelens en emoties, laat ik liggen en neem ik geen verantwoordelijkheid in.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel me te focussen op hetgeen ik invloed heb in wie ik ben in gedachten, gevoelens en emoties en hier verantwoordelijkheid voor te nemen.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel om mijn focus op de voortbeweging van de voedselbrij in mijn darm en op de darmwerking zelf, te stoppen aangezien ik dit niet begrijp en aangezien mijn darm dit veel beter kan als ik me er niet mee bemoei in en als de geest.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel me te focussen op mijn directe leefomgeving, op huis, werk en relatie en verantwoordelijkheid te nemen voor wie ik ben hierin.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel mijn ervaring van boosheid en verongelijking te stoppen en mezelf hierin te vergeven en zo langzaam aan te verzachten ten aanzien van mezelf.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel niet teveel hooi op mijn vork te nemen en allereerst voor mezelf, mijn eigen lichaam en directe leefomgeving te zorgen.

Uil forgive

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dag 596 – The mind-body relationship – Hope

hope

After writing the last blog about the need for specifity, I saw how this not applying at first, is related to hope. I saw this when I read the text of the Life Review ‘What if…’ and how this is related to hope.

Hope that it is possible in another way, hope that I do not need to do so; to apply this specifity with regards to food, hope that ‘for me it is different’, hope that there will be a miracle in some way, as how I hear sometimes from others as in ‘I took out the dairy and my intestine-problems are solved’.

Here I will apply self-forgiveness on the experience of hope within myself in relation to the condition of my large intestine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an experience of hope that it is possible in another way to ‘solve’ the problem, other than being consequent and specific within my application of taking responsibility for and as myself as who I am, because when and as I look at others, I see that they do not have the same complaints and that they are not so specific and/or, that others do – from my perspective – only need to make one adjustment or only adjustments in their food, to improve a physical condition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others/what I see in others without realising that I only see one dimension and also, through my own interpretation in/as the mind which does not give a map of the whole situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be totally specific but only roughly and so, I can not come to specifity as how is needed to really support myself within the mind-body relationship, as I see that I need to be specific on one area as a start, to be able to go into a deeper level within me, through the layers that are build specificly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can do everything ‘roughly’ and following the basic, without going into specifity, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will be able to go from basic more into depth specificly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not specific, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the application specifies through time by walking constant and consistently into more detail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be specific as this ‘costs’ me a lot of effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to be at first line for 10 cents’ as how in Dutch one says as a proverb which means so much as wanting to have the best result without putting in the effort to attain this potential within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not being specific enough, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can learn to be/become specific and that specifity is build through time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel useless because of not having a ‘specialization’ in the area of natural medicine where I work and connect this with not being specific, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am walking myself into more specifity day by day into this new area of the mind-body relationship that has not so much been explored in total specifity thus far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in walking this process specific enough to get into clarity for and as myself because I did not see anyone in the area of natural medicine walk the mind-body relationship specifically, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that with putting everything together that I have walked and that I walk/will walk, I will be able to be/become more and more specific in relation to my own physical body and the function of the large intestine.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of hope, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am waiting for something ‘as a miracle’ that solves the problem, instead of walking what is needed specifically in relation to the mind-body relationship, in who I have become in/as the mind within and as my physical body in and as the application of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements on my acceptances and allowances in participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings through which I seperate myself from a direct seeing into and as myself and my physical body.

I commit myself to walk day by day and to forgive and correct myself in the mistakes and misunderstandings that are causing a consequence on my physical body and so, on this physical as a whole until I am able to prevent myself from going into reaction as a  ‘mistake or misunderstanding’.

I commit myself (to learn) to prevent myself from creating consequenses on my own physical body and on this physical existance as a whole until I am walking in and as breathe as prevention, by taking responsibility for and as myself by preventing, so stopping myself from going into reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe, because I have already gone in reaction, I have to go on and on without seeing where to go, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that the further I go, the further I have to walk it back and walk through consequenses in and as my own physical body.

When and as I see myself going on and on in reaction, I stop and breathe. I realize that I need to stop anyway and so, I stop, I breathe, I let go and apply self-forgiveness on the mistake that I have already made by stepping into a reaction. I realize that only when and as I stop myself from following this energy, I am able to see what thought has triggered the reaction within and as me and from here, I will be able to apply self-forgiveness effectively and so, specifically. I realize that I am still speaking from a starting-point of fear when and as I am going and speaking in reaction as a fear of not going to be heard when I do not speak up now, where in I am creating that what I fear as ‘not being heard’ because I speak in reaction which is causing reaction through which one cannot hear. I realize that this is not necessary, that this fear is not needed and I have already seen and realized in a more surfaced dimension how to walk into a more stable situation when and as I am stable in and as myself, taking responsibility for the whole situation in and as my ability and so, I commit myself to see what it is that I do not want to take responsibility for, what it is that I judge/fear in a deeper layer/dimension and to take time to walk this through, to see, realize and understand what it is and apply self-forgiveness on the thoughts as fear while walking into more self-trust in real time application.

When and as I see myself participating in a thought that I do not have a ‘specialization’ in the area of natural medicine, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am specifying myself in understanding myself within the mind-body relationship and the influence on the large intestine and that the ‘specialization’ is existing in and as myself in my own application of self-forgiveness and self-correction into physical equality and oneness and so, I commit myself to walk from ‘specialization’ in/as the mind into specifity and detailled application in/as the physical, using the condition, the changes and level of stability of my own physical body as a point of cross-reference.

I commit myself to make it an effort to really stop myself from going into reaction and speaking in/as this reaction to prevent creating more consequenses in and as my physical body and so, within this physical existence.

So, I realize that a miracle or ‘one moment’ is not coming or solving anything as I need to walk breathe by breathe, moment by moment and within this, take responsibility for and as myself within this physical condition in every related area including the food I take and my living situation – the who I am within – is as a guideline for the points that I need to forgive, correct and change within and as myself.

I commit myself to bring and keep my focus on myself in who I am within a condition and situation, instead of focussing on the situation and/or condition.

writing

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

Dag 594 – The body-being-mind relationship – The need for specifity on a physical level

The-ColonAt the moment, my large intestine is very much cramped. I am investigating what thought-patterns and emotional reactions I find related to and within this, as I see these of influence on the vegetative nerve-system through which I put pressure and constrictions on and within the intestine. I am not yet clear on how and what specific influence is happening here and will keep on investigating this inside myself. What I at the moment want to write about is the food.

Already for a while, I notice that my food is pretty aligned with my body in general, but there are specific influences that I could not get sight on. So every day I notice some small triggers within my food and also a combination of food that is ‘too much’ to digest. Because my intestine had already become stronger through the last few years, my body could more or less handle this. Now, with changing the living situation (from living alone to living together) and I assume, with the mind more integrated within and as the physical and the start of walking the quantum mind / quantum physical, I am coming into a new layer within myself. The layer within my body, within my intestine that I always notice on the background, where in I am feeling so much tiredness. Tiredness of myself and my body within this constriction, deep within myself/my physical body that I notice within the condition of a spastic colon. Deep within myself, I am (mentally and physically manifested) in a state of control, spastic.

So, looking at the necessity of becoming more specific within the application of self-forgiveness on the thoughts, emotions (and feelings), I see that I also need to apply this with the food I take. I did not use a specific guideline in relation to this condition. I am eating pretty much as how it is mentioned within the blood-type diet (blood-type A) and also as how some tests with bio-resonance are showing, where in it seemed that my food was still ‘quite okay’. However, I notice that it is not. It is not specific enough ‘okay’. If I need to be very specific within taking on my mind-system, then I also need at the moment to be very specific with the food I take in because as mentioned in the previous blog, my body/intestine has become sensitive to thoughts and emotions and also to food.

For the last few weeks/months, I saw myself taking in the food in some kind of hurry and I noticed some enslavement involved that I did not want to investigate, meaning I did not want to take a more specific look towards/within the food I take. I have a collegue who is very specific with food and with the care-taking of her body. So, now my condition had become very bad, meaning a very much constricted large intestine and no longer being able to release myself from the waste in an acceptable way, I discussed this with her, as she had already mentioned before a food-approach that is coming from Australia and that is applied within the condition of IBS/Irritable Bowel Syndrome where in the results are quite well.

I investigate this aproach and make the decision to start following this/testing this out. It is not so much different as how I am already eating, it is only more specific and coming from a different approach that is specific related to this sensitive bowel condition. While reading the guidelines, I see confirmed what I already noticed within myself when taking in some food, however I did not understand how and why I should react to this specific food so I kept on taking it in. Here it becomes clear to me every time how important it is and how it is of much support – to have information as a kind of frame to place our own physical investigations within.

Because and as long as I am interfearing in/as the mind within myself, I am not (yet?) able to really see and understand what it is that I experience, I am missing the frame, the context as certainty and so, I am not able to apply it effectively only by myself alone. Here it is clear how it is of so much importance to have much more context with regards to our own health. Context that is already available, but only for a very small group who has money and access within this area of the ‘natural healthcare’. The general public health service is not giving this context, it is very limited at the moment and so, it is very difficult for most human beings to get grip and sight on the health of their own physical body. But this is another subject on itself.

So, I have a context and guideline now to follow and I will start very specific applying this guideline. As specific as I have not yet done before. Until I see now, as mentioned above: if the mind is specificly programmed (in and as the (allowance of) myself) and if my body is sensitive for these specifities, then from a point of common sense I can conclude that my body is also specificely sensitive to food. As confirmed with information and physical test-cases within different physical applications that are used in relation to several bowel conditions.

I notice that I experience fear within myself to do so, which I see related to seeing/walking paste my comfortzone as how I know myself within my own mind-consciousness system, into a new area of/within myself, where it is as if I as my whole mind-consciousness-system is putting it’s ‘heals in the sand’ which gives this very tied constriction within my physical body, from neck to tale, with cramping consequenses for the intestine. I experience a fear of failure: what if this more specific application will not be of support, what if it will not work out? The ‘what if’ fear that I participate very much in, in relation to this physical condition. And that is something to walk within the application of self-forgiveness and self-corrections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘what if my large intestine is always cramped like this and what if I am not able to release myself anymore?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘what if the poo is not coming out’?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the situation will always be like in the worst moments/days and within this, I participate in fear instead of supporting myself effectively within these ‘worst’ days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the worst days will alway long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on continuing participating in ‘worst case scenario’s’ in relation to my physical condition because and when I do not see a long term solution in/as the mind, instead of supporting myself physically breath by breathe, moment by moment and focus on who I am within this condition, towards and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the small moments of support will not make a difference because I am already so long ‘busy’ with this condition that I expect a ‘miracle change’ in one day or nothing at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still expect one big moment of change and if this is not coming, I expect it to ‘not work out’, instead of learning to trust myself in every breath and walk it moment by moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, because I do not see an immediate solution and total understanding of my physical condition, I think and believe that I will ‘never get there’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience panic within and as myself when and as I am not able to release myself effectively from the physical waste.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the result as ‘being free of crampings and having a comfortable release-pattern of the waste of my physical body’, instead of focussing on who I am in relation to myself within this physical condition.

When and as I see myself participating in the thought ‘what if my intestine is always cramped?’, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is not effective in and as support for myself and/as physical body and it doesnot make any sense as it only brings more pressure/constrictions in/as the mind, in and on myself. I commit myself to stop participating in the thought ‘what if my intestine is always cramped’. If and when I do not know what to do in such moment, I focus on my breathing and see how I can make it as comfortable as possible within that moment in a physical position where in I do not feel the pressure all the time and so, do not stress myself out but instead, focus on the relaxation position that I place myself in. If this is not an option because of being for example at work, I will support myself to  focus on stopping the participation in thoughts about the condition and slow down physically while I continue with my work.

When and as I see myself participating in the thought ‘what if I am not able to release myself anymore?’, I stop and breathe. I realize that it is unlikely that I wil not be able to release myself anymore and I realize that I have build a constriction over time and so, it takes time to walk through the consequence/walk it back to where it started. I commit myself to stop participating in the thought ‘what if I am not able to release myself anymore’ and to focus on my breathing until the experience of panic becomes less, which is most of time related to a specific point/place within my intestine where I stored some experiences that I experience/recall over and over again when the poo is pushing against these fibers/muscles that are constricted. I commit myself to keep on looking into specific thought-patterns and stored emotions that lead to this build up constriction through time and support myself to release myself from the related energy with sounding self-forgiveness.

I realize that I have placed so much guilt on myself because of this condition where in I lost sight on my own responsibility within this condition. I commit myself to stop participating in an experience of guilt related to my physical condition. I commit myself to investigate/release myself from the pressure of expectations within and as myself in relation to my physical condition and who I think that I am supposed to be/become.

When and as I see myself focussing on a result in and as being free of crampings and having a comfortable release of waste, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am participating in a future-projection in polarity of the fear of ‘that I will never get there’ and so, create that I will never get there. I realize that I expect a miracle-solution in/as the mind in ‘one moment’ and if not so I believe I will never get there, instead of walking the solution physical, day by day, breathe by breathe where in I learn to focus on who I am in every breathe. I commit myself to stop focussing on a result of being free of cramping and having a comfortable release of waste and instead, focus on learning to release myself from the constricting thought-patterns and related emotions in/as the mind, by applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application on specific thoughts and patterns that are coming up through the day, related to my physical condition.

I realize that it is a lot of work and so, that it takes time to walk through, where in I realize that I experience the same ‘I will never get there’ as when I started to walk this process by walking the conscious and subconscious layers. I commit myself to keep on walking day by day, moment by moment in and as the realization that I did walk through the layers of the conscious/subconscious system into a more comfortable ‘living’ and so, I have seen and proven for and as myself that it is possible to stand up in equality towards and as my own mind-consciousness system if and when I walk in patience and take very small steps. Not as an end-result to focus on but as a support for and as myself to realize that it will not always be like how it is in the worst/tough moments.

I commit myself to support my physical body / my large intestine to calm down by taking only food specificely as how described that is allowed and not triggering the intestine unnecessary within the guideline of the FODMAP-diet as a physical tested support for the condition of IBS for the next 4-6 weeks as how is described. (One can google FODMAP to see what it contains – I use a Dutch PDF-document that I received).

I commit myself to start cleaning my large intestine with colon hydro-therapy as a physical support to release the physical waste as detoxes that I build up through the years within my intestine, as a support to calm down the vegetative nerve system and as a support for my intestine to find it’s rhythm and peristaltic movements again within the possibilities of my physical state and as a support for myself to release myself from the panic about toxicating myself because of this not optimum physical state of my intestine.

I commit myself to keep on writing and to push myself to do so as I notice that within the writing, I give myself direction and lead myself through this rough/tough physical state in which I release my intestine from the mental waste that I put on and in where in I realize that I need direction and so, I need myself to lead myself through.

irritable_bowel_syndromeThe mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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