Dag 682 – The mind-body relationship – Some fears during the flu


I am having pretty bad flu symptoms at the moment that I write this. It’s been a while ago that I have had this. It started with some slight symptoms and I could move on with my activities. Then at work, I felt the pain going towards my jaw, at the place where within two months, a crown will be placed. It hurted and here, I started to react with fear. That the pain would become worse and that the crown needed to be placed earlier, things like that. Since then the symptoms of the flu got worse (not especially with this tooth – it is like it was ‘passing by’ this area and because it is a ‘weak’ place, it hurted there more ) and I really need to stay at home and take some time to recover. I will write out some self-forgiveness on thoughts/experiences coming up during these days, related to the symptoms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear come in within myself within thoughts about the place in my jaw where a crown is going to be placed, where before this, I had no thoughts of fear about having some slight ‘flu’-symptoms as a bit of a rough throat for example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with myself during the days at home about wanting to use the time effectively but actually not being able to do anything constructive besides making some food and taking care for myself and the cats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my house will become dirty with lots of hair from the cats and me not being able to clean up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will become ‘too much’ to clean up, where actually the cleaning up will be the same as before, only with some more hair now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to feel myself like this from now on, not being able to do anything constructively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the virus/bacteria to take over within me, which is actually the same as fearing my mind/the thoughts to take over within and as me, consisting as/related to memories within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able anymore to take care for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not being able to direct all things in my life as combining work, projects, house-tasks and self-care/animal-care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impatience towards the flu-symptoms,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like wasting time when I am not able to do anything constructively because of feeling physically not well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on towards thoughts and emotions and within this, hurting my body/letting this ‘eat’ on my physical body within the tissue and let it become irritated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards the flu-symptoms very slightly within myself so that I do not directly notice this, and within this irritate myself/my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I would not be sensitive to a flu because I haven’t had this for a long time and so, did not build up fear towards this, where I do see now that there is a fear existing within me when and as it is happening and it also can be existing within me through family-memories where having a cold or getting a flu is accepted as that one should not kiss each other on the cheek for example when one is having a cold, because of ‘a risk’ of transmitting the cold/flu towards each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would not get the cold or flu and not wanting to participate in and as the thoughts/believes of transmitting a virus just by kissing another on the cheek.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder if the fear about my jaw has opened up towards the flu getting worse or that it would have got worse anyway.

I remember here having a chat with Sunette about me coughing after having some food, where she mainly advised me to slow down and not judge the coughing (I will write about this in a separate blog) and I noticed that this was the main point that caused the coughing/how I kept it continuing. I saw a related point with the flu-symptoms, that I was reacting to it, having difficulties with slowing down myself. So I see now that this is a point to consider in general: slowing down within myself and not judging what is physically happening but rather look at it and support myself within.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself reacting to physical symptoms and judging myself for this, to breathe and slow down within myself, meaning, looking at what is really existing within me in such a moment and where my thoughts are going to from here, forgive myself for the pattern within and related emotions coming up.

I commit myself to, when and as I see physical symptoms becoming worse in a moment, to stop and breathe and slow down, to lay down when and as necessary, to embrace myself and see what I am participating in within my mind and what the fear is and from here, forgive myself for what I think and believe and participate in.

I commit myself to investigate and write about the patterns that are coming up more prominent when and as I ‘become ill’ as here my mind shows me what I have not yet sorted out within myself with regards to my physical and physical activities that I am not being able to do in that moment.

I commit myself to, when and as I fear that the virus will take over, to stop and breathe and see what thoughts I participate in as a ‘virus that I allow to take over’ and instead, direct myself within, forgive myself for the fear and bring myself here in physical reality.

I commit myself to be carefull with viruses and bacteria, to support my immune-system where I can and to seek for medical support when and as needed and when not, to trust myself and take care of myself.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating in thoughts about cleaning the house and fear of not being able to do so, to stop, breathe and look with common sense to the hair in the house that I will be able to clean up within an hour, as soon as I feel physically better.

I commit myself to look at a virus with common sense, meaning to not fear it but to also not go into an experience of superiority as in ‘I will not get the flu’ as this is actually also based on fear, as a fear of ‘being caught’ in a mind-pattern that is lived within the family/society and so, existing as a memory within myself.

I commit myself to work constructively with memories as fear as thoughts that I see existing within me in relation to physical symptoms and assumptions about a virus and other dis-eases by looking at the thoughts and related emotions and/or feelings and forgive myself for the energetic attachements within, to create space for/within myself to look at memories and information with common sense.


Multi-dimensional information about the evolution of viruses:

The Evolution of Viruses – Reptilians – Part 243

The Evolution of Viruses (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 244

Fighting off Viruses – Reptilians – Part 245

The Virus and the Body – Reptilians – Part 246

Mind + Virus Versus Body – Reptilians – Part 247


The Evolution of the Common Cold – 2013 – Future of Consciousness – Part 44

Memories in Your Body – Quantum Systemization – Part 63


This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.


Proces van zelfverandering:
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog

The Secret to Self-Realisation:


Proces van wereldverandering:

Uil forgive




Dag 436 – What is HIT? – training at the gym


This year the grouplesson HIT started at the gym in the place that I live in The Netherlands. HIT means High Intensity Training. When I google it, I see HIIT, with two I’s, where there is the ‘Interval’ added. Well seemingly the let the interval out here in the gym lol; well actually the training is done with some interval.

Here the group-lesson is a little mixed with how the lessons were given before, so it is given on music with some warming up on the rithm of the music, and during time they more and more let out the jumping parts as most of the group-participants (including myself) didnot like the jumping that much. So it is a combination of the low impact aerobic-lessons as how they were given in the past, combined with more high-intensity muscle training where – as the instructor tells us – it is meant that we go a little bit further where the muscles ‘normally’ feel like stopping (without forcing and injuring the muscles ofcourse) and this is applied within interval (so training, short stop, training again etc). the physical exercises are here and there expanded with some light weights and/or other attributes to intensify the training.

I really enjoy this grouplessons given on music and the building of the muscle is supportive for the body to strengthen and relax at the same time; strengthening of the physical muscles and relaxing from the tension build up in/as the mind which gives muscle tension in the body. I like the tonus of the body which is reached with some light muscle training especially because I do not have so much weight and this tonus gives a little bit more ‘body’. I physically experience it as if the muscles are more ‘into place’ into the function of the muscle and I am more present within my body. During my life I have always joined sports within groups and teams and I still like to do this together with others, while in other aereas I enjoy doing things alone. However, during vacations I do some trainings alone where I really have to push myself for this, I really prefer this doing in a group.


With the support of this relatively ‘light’ training I have been able to strengthen my shouldermuscles, which were pretty much injured around the tendons due to overburden in the past. The muscle-tissue was very much diminished within the shoulders because I was not aware of how to physically support myself within this injury of the tendons and so actually it became worse and worse. Until I went to a good fysiotherapist who had also a gym, and he coached me from the very beginning in how to built up the muscle-tissue again, how far I could go, how much pain I could have and when it was too much, as within this injury every movement hurted all the time and I had no idea anymore what I could do and what not. I started this training about 7 years ago and slowly it went better and I became able to join in group-lessons again.

I say again, because I actually also hurted myself within the aerobic-lessons in the past. I was pretty fanatic in this, joined at least 2-3 times a week and also had a physical job which I could not take a break of because of the payments. I am speaking about almost 20 years ago now in the years where I worked, studied, was going out, had a more busy social life and was also doing trainings. The problem with an injury at the tendons is that in the beginning it only becomes painful afterwards the exertion and it’s not that intens, it’s more a little nagging pain. If I would have back then supported myself physically as how I know and do now it would not have become that bad as it did, as I would have kept the muscle tissue build up and kept strength during the revalidation. But I ignored this pain for too long and I was not really aware of the ability of the coaching of a physiotherapist, so it took a long time to recover. I am still not the strongest person as I am still busy with the origin of the injury, which is ofcourse not only simply an overburden but has mind-patterns within and behind it which affect the physical body intensively when they are not directed effectively.

I stept out of the physical job, find new jobs where eventually I worked behind the computer, which I also left as I could not do the computerwork all day. Well, I work in a store now where there is only some additional computerwork and I am back again behind the laptop during hometime where I work more than I could have imagined during that days of the injury as is visible within the writings. I always keep an eye on the balance and pain-symptoms but know much better what I can do and where I need to stop and within this I am busy investigating the deep-physical tension in/as the mindstructures that influences my physical body.

Personal Sports Club

Back to the gym during these days.

Some points that I find during the lessons to apply self-forgiveness on:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to irritate myself when there is put on some music that is very very old and not aligned with the trainings as they said in the beginning that HIT-lessons are not supposed to do on music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to irritate myself that this not aligning with the music is taken on as ‘a rule’ while the instructor is able to direct this point and integrate and combine this with ones own experience of grouplessons on music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to irritate myself with my own rules in/as the mind about how exercises should be aligned with the ritm of the music and about what good music is and what not and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my irritation as not being satisfied within my preference in/as the mind on the instructor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my physical performance being influenced by irritation in/as the mind about music and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself activate and de-activate myself in/as the mind by the music that is played or not played.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “it could be so much more fun and supportive if this training is aligned with the music”.

When and as I see myself going into irritation about the music I stop and breathe. I realize that I influence myself in/as the mind by my reactions on the music and that the music in itself has no power to influence me and/or my performance where in I determine the influence by my own reations as judgements as thoughts in/as the mind. I realize I can make a suggestion but for the rest it is up to the instructor of how to direct the lesson where in I am able to direct myself within myself in stopping my reactions and staying in breath while doing the exercises.  I commit myself to, when and as some reactions some up inside myself, to stop, to apply a short self-forgiveness inside myself and to breathe through, where in I flag-point what is coming up as a thought to investigate further within myself later on at home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need the music as support for training and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I cannot use the music as a support for the training because this should mean that I am stimulating myself in/as the mind with music, where in I realize that I can use and enjoy the music as a support while staying in/as breath during the exercises and let the music go through myself without reaction on it whether I like it or not, where in I use my own breath as the support that I need to do the exercises most effectively within my physical potential at that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish I had some more muscle and strength where in I realize that wishing to be different is pulling myself down in/as the mind in/as memories and comparison with others and/or with myself in the past. I commit myself to, when and as I go into wishing in/as the mind, to stop, to breath and to stay in/as/with myself as who I am at the moment and support myself in what I am physically capable of during these days and apply self-forgiveness on the separation that exist within myself in/as comparison with others and/or myself in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish I could train more, where in I realize that I have to be realistic due to time and money and physical condition where in I cannot do limitless and everything at the same time so I stay with the balance that I have and walk in patience with/as myself, where in I realize that I can apply some simple, physical exercises at home if I really want to do more in the time that I have and if I am not doing this it is up to me to investigate the point of lazyness and importance of physical appearance (which I do not go into for this blog).


So a short list of what I did and do to support myself to strengthen the muscles and my physical body as a whole:

Training with a physiotherapist who has experience with the specific injury and is able to give a scedule with clear instructions of possibilities and limitations.

Keep on applying light but strenghtening and supportive muscle training.

Rescedule my daily activities in alternation of activity and relaxation for the injured muscles and the physical body as a whole.

Investigating my own physical possibilities and not overburden myself/my body and within this finding and keeping a balance between working in the system to make a living and walking the process of self-realization.

Support myself and body with food and supplements to support, strengthen and bring into a physical balance the muscles, tendons and the body as a whole including organs which are involved.

Walking related mind-patterns within writing and speaking of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

Patience with and acceptance of myself within letting go of past images of how I physically was and at the same time working with the physical potential that is here.


Where in I should mention that I am in the position to do this effectively due to working times and working area and support that I have within this  – I work in a health-store for 10 years now in a small company which have given me a lot of freedom and support to walk this way although the loans are not that high for every one involved but enough to sustain; where in of course I equally put myself in there during working times in/as (self)-responsibility – where during the time 20 years back when I walked into the injury I did not have this position and information to support myself effectively.

It is not that easy anymore in the Netherlands to place yourself in a stable financial position during these days and more and more people are losing jobs.

To give everyone the ability to full physical support and self-investigation, investigate the proposal of LIG that is available on internet as a practical solution for the inequality that exist in this world and is getting worse every day.

LIGLiving Income Quaranteed


Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
Equal Life Foundation:
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
Zelfeducatie free:
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf: