Dag 716 – 4. Understanding the obsession

This blog is related to record 4: Understanding the obsession

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really see realize and understand how ‘a biological clock ticking’ consists of an obsession but more believe that it is real and that it is okay to live this out because it is part of myself (as a biological programming as a human in/as a female body but that I was not aware of during that time).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to live out a part of my biological programming without considering that this programming is not who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse my obsessive behaviour with the fact that the ‘biological clock’ – as a limited period of time where in reproduction is possible – is part of how the human physical body is functioning in it’s part of reproduction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to become obsessive because of not taking responsibility for my thoughts, emotions and feelings that are related coming up to relationships and reproduction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to because of my thoughts, emotions and feelings coming up within me, related to relationships and reproduction, to actually ‘follow up’ these thoughts, emotions and feelings with actions without considering that what I am following up on in myself, is not really who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely scare myself and create panic within believing that I should have a child and for having a child, I need a relationship and if I cannot find a relationship, then I should look for other ways to have and raise a child of myself and so within this belief, not taking responsibility for this belief in itself and for who I am within and thus, creating and participating in, living in and as this obsession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make an obsession of myself and my life without really, seeing, realizingnand understanding what I am doing to myself as life and life as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have seen the reproduction cycle clearly for what it is as a  practical and physical system of bringing forward life which brings a huge responsibility to educate and walk with this new life until it is able to stand in and as itself as a responsible, living being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have approached the bringing forward of a new life without seeing the total responsibility in it but more have experienced it as ‘something that I would like to experience’ and so, from a starting-point of self-interest to feed myself from with experiences, which in itself is what an obsession is: longing for an experience with the purpose of wanting to experience the fulfillment of the experience itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the cycle of reprodution is what ‘life’ is about and what ‘life’ is, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that the reproduction system and the cycle that it is functioning in and as, is the system that brings forward new life but it is not ‘life’ itself.

When and as I see myself having a desire and see myself ‘longing for an experiemce, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I have channeled a part of myself in this desire in and as the furure as something that I need to reach and ‘reach out for’ and because of channeling myself in this desire (in the future, because a desire is projected in the future), I am not completely here within and as myself and so, I am missing a part of myself where in I actually ‘desire’ this part of myself in a way to become whole with, or I am ‘longing for’ this part of myself to unite myself with and as and because it is channeled in a particular thought or experience, created as an projected idea in the future, I follow this desire.

I commit myself to forgive myself for misunderstanding my motivation for my ‘desire’ and the energetic experiences that I generate out of this projected idea as desire.

I commit myself to stop the ‘obsession of longing for an experience of wanting to experience the fulfillment of the experience itself. I commit myself to take responsibility for what I desire and to see what I have projected that is real as ‘me’ within this desire and bring myself back here.

I commit myself to support myself with bringing myself back here with the support of finding a word that I can live here as myself in the moment.

I commit myself to redefine the word desire and make it a word that contains a practical self-support.


Previous blog: 3. Obsession

Next blog: 5. Menstruation cycle

Proces van zelfverandering:
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog

The Secret to Self-Realisation:


Proces van wereldverandering:

Uil forgive


Dag 541 – Is an Act of Kindness enough?


There is a video online that has a message in it that is of importance for everyone:

Why I Think This World Should End

I would like to point out some words that are used in it as part of the solution to the ‘misery’ that we exist in, in and as this world as how the video is pointing out very clearly. These words are:

An Act of Kindness’ and ‘Love’.

The word ‘act’ in it points out that we can make a decission if we want to ‘do this act’ or not and that we can do it ‘sometimes’ or ‘when we wish to do so’. Instead of ‘being’ in and as kindness in every moment.

What does it mean to be in kindness in every moment?

As kindness does not mean perse that I am ‘acting nice’ to someone or ‘speaking with a kind voice’. Real kindness may for example mean that I am telling directly what is going on, which might not seem ‘kind’ in the first place. Actually, if we really want to replace the word kindness in an absolute way, we should make it ‘equality’ as equality is the real ‘kindness’ that will last, that is applyable in every moment and that will not exclude anything or anyone.

So how can I be in equality in every moment, in consideration of life as a whole?

Separation does not mean equality so, to be in equality, I have to stop the separation, in and as myself. When am I separated from myself? When I participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions, I am separated from myself as life in/as my physical body. So, being in equality means that I am not participating in reaction as in thoughts, feelings and emotions, in and as myself.

From here, I am able to see what the best way is to approach another human being, as if I am not participating in reaction within myself, not separated from myself, meaning not in thoughts about myself, projected on another outside myself, then I am not judging myself and/as another and so, I am standing equal with and as another as myself.

From here, one could also replace the word ‘Love’ with ‘Equality’ as there is no experience of ‘love’ needed when and as we live in equality. This makes the word ‘love’ more practical, as for most people, love in itself contains a feeling that is not really defined in practical, living words.

Love as Equality.

No judgements as separation involved, as judgements contain an individual interpretation in/as the mind of this physical existance, which is not based on equality, but based on separation in/as the mind. Within and as the physical, we are equal and one. Love as equality means: not participating in judgements as thoughts in/as the mind that are deviding and separating ourselves as life.

From here, we do not need to make an act of kindness or we do not need to participate in a feeling of love, because we are in equality with and as ourselves as others, in consideration of ourselves and/as others and this, is what real kindness is as what is best for all life.

Of course this is a process that we have to walk as change will not come over one night and we are very used to participate in and as our own mind in thoughts, feelings and emotions, in judgements as our own, separated, individual interpretation of this physical existance as a whole.

This is where equality starts, within and as ourselves. We are the starting-point.

However, we have created an unequal system in this physical world because we are existing and have existed in inequality for as long as we know. This system that we have created/manifested within this world as human beings, has become a control-system on it’s own, it has become our own manifested prison. Key-word in it is money. The money is devided and gives devidance on earth. This is not because ‘money in itself’ is the problem. It does mean that in how we have created this system, we need the money to survive at the moment and without money, it is hard – or even impossible – to live in this world. So what do we need to bring more equality within this world? We need more equality within the money-system. This means that everyone should have a decent income to live from, as a start.

Every human being has the right to a decent income, as a birthright to live, from birth to death.

Isn’t that a real ‘Act of Kindness’ for everyone in this world, that is constant, that will last and that will not exclude anyone on earth?

From here, everyone will have the same possibilities to walk the inner process towards onenesss and equality within and as self, into a constant state of ‘kindness’ towards and as life in itself.

This is the only way how we will be able to bring ‘Love’ down to earth, as a Practical, Living Word.

In this way, the world doesnot need to ‘End’ – the world, the system does need to CHANGE and for this, human beings do need to CHANGE. These two changes are directly connected to each other, one cannot change without the other, however, everyone should make the decision for themselves to Start this Change, within and as Self.

Investigate Solutions to Change:

Living Income Quaranteed

Equal Life Foundation

Equal Life Foundation logo

Desteni I Process Lite

Desteni I Process Pro


Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
Equal Life Foundation:
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
Zelfeducatie free:
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf: