I was crawling with Basha the male cat in a specific way that he likes but if I am not doing it with my full attention and be aware of myself in it, he may suddenly hit me with his paw and (softly) put his teeth in my hand. This happened this morning and I did saw where I was divided in doing two things at the same time. I reacted on it that I didnot like it and I suspected there was more in it to investigate. I was already for longer aware of some underlying dimension within myself with regards to his behaviour, but did not yet take the time to really investigate the source, I only solved things practically.
There were some other small signs where I was aware that I should investigate it deeper, like doing his poo a few times directly next to the cat’s box (which I already practically solved with another box) and him trying to climb over a fedge (that is also solved practically – but temporary – by moving a garden bench to another place). And also in his behaviour towards Snoo, the female cat there was something going on. All this signs together made me consider that there was something subtile underneath going on that I needed to take a look at.
What I do here, is that I take my own reactions in consideration, realizing that this has to do with me. But what I also do that supports me to come more to the core and a deeper understanding so that I can really take responsibility for myself in it and from here, support the animal, is applying how I learned to communicate with animals via a picture. Here one ‘connects’ in a way with the animal (after ‘clearing’ oneself as much as possible from one’s own interpretations, to be able to receive that what is being communicated). It is not as how the Portal functions as where one is leaving the body and here, having a complete access to the physical information, so it is a limited way of communication where the mind is still involved, however if one applies it in self-honesty, so in awareness of one’s own mind and participation in it, it can be a supportive tool to have a deeper look into the situation, for and as oneself and from here as support for the animal.
So I did. I walked through the small situations that happened and asked Basha everytime what made him do so. Somewhere along doing so, I saw that it may have to do with, deep down, him being put on the street in the past with an experience/memory as if it had something to do with him (he is coming from the streets in Egypt). And following this, I came back to the point where in the beginning that he lived here (3-4 months ago now), I reacted more to this small ‘rebellious’ behaviour especially with regards to him and Snoo together and them having different food-patterns, to the point of doubting if he could stay.
We did do fine along the way and months passed by, but within this conversation I found that I did not correct this starting-point within myself and so it was still not really clear for him (and myself) if he could stay. Which within myself, was related to a point of self-interest of not wanting to fully commit to this, out of fear that I might in the future have to not be able to move as freely as I might prefer – this with regards to what would be best for the cats, especially Basha and them matching together. So I left a small backdoor open to ‘possibly’ decide that he could not stay, even if I actually already had seen and ‘silently decided’ that he could stay, that we and they will be able to manage together in the house. With Snoo it was clear from the beginning, she was the first and the cat that ‘find me’ so to speak and there was no doubt that she should leave. So if we would not be able to match, Basha should be the one to leave.
This was bothering me from the beginning as I assumed that he should notice/feel this in a way and besides this, I suppressed some enjoyment within myself, for Basha being/living here with me (and Snoo). Along the way we did fine, so it didnot look like a change would be needed, neither now or in the future. But the door was still a chink open. And something in Basha’s behaviour was triggering this small chink open.
The situation reflects on how I tend to leave a small backdoor for myself to not fully commit to walking my process based on principles, but leaving the door on a chink open to decide to some small room for self-interest. I am closing this door step by step and here I committed with myself and towards Basha that he can stay and communicated this with him. I forgave myself for who I am within this (and for how this would have been for Basha) and saw again how very gentle and gracefull he actually is by triggering this with such small signs. Let’s see how it will develop and how we will do from this point on. What I see is that it might not even be that his behaviour will change but what will change is how I perceive it and this may also have an influence on the intensity of his behaviour and the situation itself.
Within the communication with animals, I often wonder who I am communicating with. As within this, I am able to more clearly connect with my own awareness and self-honesty and so I use it as a support-method to communicate with myself/my own being/awareness as life, which is connected with the awareness of the animal as life. I will continue investigating this for myself until I am clear on myself in/as awareness, my own mind and my body and if and when I find a clear starting-point and cross-reference for myself, I eventually may and will be able to bring it in as support for others.
This communication with the animals we live with, is actually what many who are truly taking care for their animals, already do, where it contains a precise observation of the physical behaviour of the animals, but if we want to really come to a point of equality within living together with the animals, the focus of the observation should be first and foremost……..on ourselves. Animals are of great support in this process from consciousness to awareness.
Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
The Secret to Self-Realisation:
Proces van wereldverandering: