Dag 795 – Am I willing to be heard? Letting go of the least potential.

“Here, again – it is all about losing control. You have given some characters so much control, that it even regulates how you release the waste, which is that which you no longer require, but if you are releasing that which can be beneficial and the body disagrees with you – you’re going to become constipated, because your constitution which is what is best for you – is being Hijacked by your characters of fear, and therefore you are releasing as waste – which is actually nutrition for you, while a physical female form some very deep explosive self forgiveness is required where you face this and say “No More will I live half-heartedly, I will Live with my Whole Heart and Open myself to the Potential to be Heard, because unless I am willing to be Heard and willing to Feel pain – I will never be able to actually explore what is actually possible as love and pleasure”. Interestingly enough, one will allow yourself to be guided by your Fear, which is the Least Potential – instead of everything that would make you Whole, which is the Most Potential. Realise the Pattern – write it out, Forgive it and TALK about it with the Potential partner – no matter how strange it sounds. That is how one build intimacy which may result in Trust.”

We were having one of the weekly group chat’s on destonians.com (which is free to join for who is interested) where I was writing about ‘letting go’ and my issues with it. Here Leila suggested to re-read an old chat with Bernard as it seems very much related to this point and perhaps I see new dimensions in it. So I openend it up again and indeed I see how it is already describing the whole pattern in one chat, however to really walk it into detail within myself, it may take a life-time. To mention here that the releasing of waste is improving through time so I am walking it in the physical; what I see is that I walked through the fear in real time which was quite a journey. I would say it is time now to transcent it into the start of a new creation within and as myself, so no longer manifesting the fear-result from letting guide me by fear which is the least potential, but starting to open myself up for everything that would make me whole, which is the most potential.

I have taken out this alinea (here above) to start with – well, already in this alinea, there is sooo much written. I will start with self-forgiveness on one line to open it up for and within myself. What I notice with the writing of a blog, is that not everything can be written out in the blog but it has an effect also after writing, where the ‘opening up’ continues within myself and many times, I walk the continuing self-forgiveness after the writing of the blog and the point is here to walk so to speak; I did bring it ‘here’ for myself and actually with doing so, I am stating that ‘I am ready to take on this point within myself’ and so I do.

Here is the line I start applying self-forgiveness on:

“No More will I live half-heartedly, I will Live with my Whole Heart and Open myself to the Potential to be Heard, because unless I am willing to be Heard and willing to Feel pain – I will never be able to actually explore what is actually possible as love and pleasure”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and have lived half-heartedly by not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to be Heard and not willing to feel pain (of what may come from this) and instead, place myself in a position where I am willing to be Hurt because of placing myself in and staying in a position where I am not being heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose the easy way of ‘being hurt by another’, instead of actually doing the work and putting in the effort within myself to Will myself towards willing to be heard and willing to feel pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility for my own well-being by placing myself in and staying in a position where I am not being heard and so, keeping myself in my comfort-zone as the easy way of not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain and if I am hurt because of this, having a door open for (hidden) blame towards another as the potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on forehand, leaving a door open to blame the potential for me not being heard and instead, letting myself hurt in this which seems to be ‘done by’ the potential but in the starting-point, it is still me who have placed and kept myself in this position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the potential to not take responsibility and within this, hurting me, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am not living the most potential within and as myself as in ‘willing to be heard and willing to feel pain’ and so another will not be able to live the most potential within self and with me as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself and another / the potential within the least potential by letting myself guided by fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be willing to be heard and to be willing to feel pain and instead, trying to push the potential to go through their pain so that the potential will not hurt me anymore and so, I do not have to feel pain myself and am ‘automatically’ being heard without putting in the effort to express myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to get around ‘being heard and feeling pain’ and so actually choose the way to be hurt and so still, feeling pain but continuously in a compromised and abusive / manipulative way because I manipulate the situation myself, by letting myself guide by fear as the least potential and expressing me from this compromised starting-point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder why the potential is not living the most potential when all the while, I am not living the most potential by/as myself and so resonating and living ‘fear as guidance’ as the least potential.

When and as I see myself in a position where another is ‘hurting me’, I stop and breathe. I realize that I somehow, somewhere am not willing to be heard and not willing to feel pain and so, somewhere /somehow, I am keeping my mouth closed from words that I need to express as the most potential or, that I am not willing to feel pain to transcent a point, which is now playing out as a consequential situation. I commit myself to find the point of fear that I need to transcent and apply self-forgiveness on it and to find the words to express within and as myself and so support myself to bring myself out of the compromised position; first within and when and as required, without.

When and as I see myself holding back to a potential within what I actually would like to express, I stop and breathe. I realize that I let myself guide by fear as my least potential, which may result in a consequential situation of being hurt. I commit myself to find what I fear (to loose) and to apply self-forgiveness on it and from here, support myself to bring myself into expression with words that are best for all (involved) as the most potential; to start and keep practicing over and over again and so accumulate in self-trust in very small steps, breathe by breathe, out of the easy way as the least potential and into self-expression as the most potential.

I commit myself to Will myself to be willing to be heard and to be willing to feel pain.

To be continued.


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Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Dag 728 – 15. The insemination

This blog is related to record 15: The insemination

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start an insemination process from a starting-point of desire to be/become pregnant and from here, being willing to throw myself into the deep, without really considering my hesitations of my willingness to really walk with a child growing up in this world as how it exists today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to look beyond my desire to be/become pregnant and just look so far, trying to fulfill the desire and from here, the desire to ‘throw myself into the deep’ so to speak, meaning to force myself into a situation that I then cannot step back from and so to force myself into facing the difficulties within/as myself that I am seemingly not willing to take on if and when not absolutely necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only take on the real challenges within and as myself if and when there is no other possibility left, as how the mind functions and as how we have set up this world up to a point of destruction before we – as humanity – are willing to face ourselves and take respnsibility for ourselves and our creation and from here, change the approach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it more difficult for myself by waiting for this last point to happen, instead of actively investigating that what I sense somewhere within me as a misalignment that I need to open up and take responsibility for by firstly looking at it within self-honesty and from here, using the application of self-forgiveness to face my own darkness and stand up within and stop blaming myself back into a state of powerlessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lazy to open up the points that I sense somewhere within me that I am not aligned with and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up the points that I sense somewhere within me, as fearing to loose the experience that this suppressed belief is giving me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fearing the loss of an experience within me to fearing to loose something or someone without me and within this, start and keep on projecting my experiences on this something or someone without me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thinks and believe that I can really loose something or someone, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can only let go (means forgive) the energetic created experiences within myself that I have connected to something or someone without myself and from here, knowing that I give myself the opportunity to emerge from, within and as myself, standing more in equality and oneness with and as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my motivation to ‘become alive’ that I somewhere sense deep within me, towards and into a desire to inseminate me with the seed of a male to be able to become pregnant and give birth to the life of a child as another being, to from here force myself to stand within the points that I see that I am not yet standing in and as, in and as the potential that I see/sense within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be at ease in this week of insemination because of being able to stand within myself in peace within trying to fulfil that what I would like for myself and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be at ease and so reactive in other moments/weeks, to my partner as well as to others, when and as I feel like not being busy with trying to fulfill that what I would like for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fulfil myself with experiences of something or someone without myself as to ‘inseminate’ myself and my physical body with something external.

When and as I feel lazy or tired to start writing and opening up some dimensions within me that I do not yet have a sight on, I stop and breathe.

I realize that within the writing, I will get more sight on myself in this dimensions that will support me in moments to come to be/become less tired or lazy, as the mind needs physical energy to suppress or keep generating energy from points/energetic experiences within me.

I realize that I can write in short time-frames, as for example 15 minutes, to release some energy within the writing of self-forgiveness and if I postpone, points will go under again within some kind of suppression and through distraction, within and as myself.

I commit myself to write in a document to open up some dimensions that I sense within me and do not yet have sight on, for 15 minutes three times a week (extra upon the activities that I am taking on already).

When and as I see that I am not satisfied and at ease with myself in the interaction with another, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am not expressing myself or do not have expressed myself as how I would like to, coming out of a fear of experiencing myself very uncomfortable within a certain moment with all kind of subtile experiences coming up and from here, I start becoming ‘uneasy’ for myself and for another as well, as more reactive to what another is bringing forward.

I realize that this is a build up pattern through the years and so, it will take time to walk through the layers that I have created within me that prevent me from expressing myself and bring myself to a ‘living expression’ so to speak.

I commit myself to become more sensible to and for myself within moments of interaction with another and to see what comes up within me as a reaction that I name and forgive myself for (for example within this 15 minutes writing) and to see (if I am already able to) what I actually would like to express but not doing out of fear of not being understood or not being able to bring forward what I mean and from here, see how to support myself to do express some more of/as myself, rather from a point of self-movement than only as a respond with a (subtile or hidden) dimension of ‘reaction’ to what another is bringing forward.

When and as I notice a fear of loss within me, I stop and breathe.

I realize that there are many dimensions involved in ‘fear of loss’ projected on something or someone without me, that I need to walk through within writing and the application of self-forgiveness of all kind of experiences coming up to open it up for myself.

I commit myself to within the writing, take on layer by layer and experience by experience that I see coming up within me in certain moments where in I use the moments of reaction as a moment of introspection, meaning that I bring the experience back to myself and name and forgive myself for what I find, as well as forgiving myself for/when/as I go into reaction, to enable myself to eventually prevent this happening and from here, finding my self-direction and self-expression as a more supportive and constructive way to communicate, as well for myself as for another.

insemination

Previous blog: 14. Examples of ‘trying to make it up’

Next blog: 16. Shame and compromising


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De Kronieken van Jezus

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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

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Dag 651 – Is human nature corrupt and if it is, how can we change this?

corruptie

Let’s have a look at the very small examples of corruption that takes place on a daily base within the aspect of corruption as briberay. We know the corruption world-wide that has to do with using money to get something done that the one with the (most) money wants, without considering if this is best for all that are involved in/as life. So corruption here can be described as an action of self-interest, within the interest of one or a very few.

How is it that we ourselves use corruption in our daily life? Isn’t it so that we are all familiar with corruption from a very young age? As for example a promise of a desert if we first eat our meal, or the promise of a candy if we co-operate with a task that needs to ben done. This is actually a form of bribary with a reward in it. It is not teaching us why it is best that the meal should be finished or why it is best that the task should be done and it has also no possibility within to see for the child itself, what the responsibility is within. It learns for example that ‘I will finish my meal for a nice desert’ or ‘I will co-operate so that I can have a candy’ which is a limited reward-system actually.

Here we see that corruption entails a ‘reward’ without considering the consequenses from doing this in a ‘corrupt’ way – corrupt meaning, not considering the responsibility that needs to be learned and lived, if we do want a result that is considering life as a whole and all that is involved.

Then what is here the solution? The solution is not so easy because these small examples of corruption (with the use of rewards involved) are often related to a lack of time to teach, to make mistakes, to co-operate, to make a nice meal from certain food or to investigate why a meal is not finished and find solutions for this, because many of us has to run to make money to survive, which can also be seen as a ‘reward’ within a – more or less – corrupted system. So we are all involved into this corrupted system related to some form of reward of ‘no money no life’ and this needs to be turned around to make this world a better place for all. Not to judge or ban each and every ‘reward’ in itself, but more to learn and see what a reward-system is actually build from, so that it can be used from a starting-point of common sense and in consideration of what it entails.

A way to start with this is to start recognizing this pattern within ourselves and then not go into self-judgements, but going into a self-forgiveness of participating in a corrupt system within and as ourselves. The fact that we participate within corruption in and as ourselves (or easily being tempted to participate) may sound cruel at first, but if we really see direct and with common sense, we all have to come to the conclusion that this world is build of relationships and relationships are formed by human beings and human beings, that are you and me.

So, saying that ‘we have nothing to do with how the world exist today’ is not grounded within common sense but more based on ignorance of how each of us is responsible for how this world exist today, most of us through a passive acceptance and allowance more than an active creating. We are all participating in it through money, electricity and water for example so we are part of it and we are inter-related within this physical existance on earth. From here we can see a bit further into human nature, and if we really do this within ourselves within self-honesty (so beyond the corruption as dishonesty as how the mind functions), we will see that how the world-system exists today, is a reflection of how we exist within ourselves, each one of us, in different aspects that all together ‘create’ the outside world, through relationships.

A solution to start with is to start within the very small, within ourselves and learn to see how we are using corruption to get what we want, to reach a certain goal without consideration of the whole and what is best, but more from limitations and hiding behind excuses as ‘having no time’ but also from a point of ‘really not knowing how to do it differently’ because we didnot learn this, we did not get the support that we all needed and need.

It’s time to teach and support ourselves to create relationships that are best for all and everything that is involved, as this includes ourselves. Meaning, that if we do something from a starting-point of self-interest, it eventually is also not best for ourselves but compromising ourselves in the way we compromise others. We are part of the relationship, we cannot exclude ourselves from this. The ones with a lot of money can still do so, that is where corruption is used on a large scale. However no one will have a narrow excape in the very end, although it might seem so for a while or even for a longer time. But corruption, it is actually done from a pretty limited view and it ignores how we are all inter-related and it’s definitely not getting the most potential up and rising within this world, within each human being and within and as life in general.

Corruption is used as a way of control or as a way to seemingly get out of the control; without seeing, realizing and understanding that within using the same ‘control-mechanism’ as corruption is that we want to get away from, we still limit and control ourselves within and as this very control-mechanim that we use and apply.

Only if something is actually strong and wise, control is used as a mechanism to suppress the strength and wisdom within, to suppress the expression of life actually. So realizing this, we can also start realizing that there must be something more within ourselves, within each one of us, if control is used on such a large scale.

There is  a very effective and structured way to open up these control-mechanisms first within ourselves, to understand and forgive ourselves within and from here, make room for correction, within ourselves/within the relationship with ourselves, from here within the relationship with those around us and so eventually spreading out, to the relationships that the world-system is build of.

It is not the whole picture ofcourse because the world-money system is very intriged and build as a closed system, so there are changes needed on a very large scale. However, one can start within self, simply because someone has to start and only each one of us can make this decision for oneself to do so.

Investigate this free online-course to stand up for /within oneself, within the recognizing of the potential that each human being (and life as a whole) can be. Which, if we will be able to (together) build a world from this utmost potential as what is best for All as Life, is the greatest Reward that one can imagine.

“There is Help, there is Support – if you Dare to Investigate. So, start with DIP LITE – it is Free, with a buddy to Help you to Break through some of the Points. But it will require Extensive Study. Whenever somebody claims they are Enlightened, know one thing: Enlightenment was part of the Script, Enlightenment isn’t Real. You cannot become Enlightened, from the perspective of some form of Consciousness – because, that will Separate you from your Responsibility as Life and you will Never be Self-Honest about what you really do.”

“Do Investigate, Test Self-Forgiveness, get to Understand Self-Honesty. Do Not Listen to your Thoughts, and your Feelings and your Emotions – they are your Guards of your Jail Cell. You are just in a Prison, ‘Pry Son’ – you are the Son of your own Design, you are the Creator, you are Playing God. But all of this Playing God, is all an Illusion of Self-Interest – where you Place your Interest before Life. That is Unacceptable.”

See also: Part 4Part 3Part 2Part 1
sleutelgat encryption
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Proces van zelfverandering:
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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
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www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
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