Dag 705 – The body-being-mind relationship – Who am I ?


The question ‘who am I’ was being discussed within group-chats that I participate in and at first, this was a bit vague for me. Meaning, I could not really define who I am and this was actually an important basic-point all the time, like, I could rationally understand ‘who I am’ and perfectly give words to it that I have learned and seen as real and common sense over the last few years. However, this does not mean that I as ‘me’, am really understanding and realizing myself as who I am.

Last week I was at my weekly sport-lesson. Standing half in front of a mirrow, doing the excersises within a group on music, I like this kind of work-out. What I noticed were the self-judgements that were automatically coming up within myself. Small and fast thoughts about how I look – positive as well as negative – and within this, as soon as they come up, I feel and notice how I finally diminish myself and actually define myself within and as these judgements. So here, I define myself as ‘who I am’ within and as self-judgement, so in and as the mind. Which is not a very supportive way to exist.

Moving on with the lesson, a realization came up within and as myself: I know and am sure what I stand for, I stand for and as principled living. I have committed myself to this, I am walking this now for several years, I am sure that this is what I want, what I will do and what I stand for and as and I am sure that I will forgive and correct myself when and as I am not living accordingly to the principles that are considering myself as life as a whole.

I can be and am sure of this, because I have extensively studied and applied this, I have walked and am continues walking this as a process that is needed to move myself from consciousness to awareness (where my awareness is present in and as myself within principled living, considering life as a whole). And here, I realized that this will be my platform of ‘who I am’, it’s my integrity and/as the certainty within and as myself, of my commitment and effort to live within principles that are best for myself (as life) and within this, for and as life as a whole and change myself into this on all the levels that I have separated myself in, as separation from this awareness within and as myself.

While realizing this, the small ‘rembling’ self-judgements disappeared/went silent and I have moved beyond this point within myself. Every time that an uncertainty comes up within myself, I remember myself as who I am within principles living. When I see within myself that self-judgements from another dimension keep on going, I know that these are other patterns that I need to look at, to forgive and correct within myself. However these small, rambling, diminishing self-judgements that are going on and on in my and every one’s mind – you know, the ones where everything is judged within self, a look on my face, a posture, actually my physical appearance and how I express myself in every small detail and then comparing myself to another, as being so self-conscious of every movement within and as my mind without doing anything about it – these are not needed, these do not make any sense at all and are of no support for myself, in and as life.

Within this moment during the sport, my calves became warmer and the circulation towards the calves, became better. A slight pain that did come back within the top of my left calve the few days before, it went away. One step forward towards earthing myself, one step deeper within my own physical body and finding a reference-point for myself that I can use, that I can live as, when and as I see that I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to my physical presence and actually, it is a reference-point for myself when and as I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to any other aspect. Altough here there may be more self-reflection needed, this who I am within principled living is still a reference-point for myself, in any and every moment.

More points to come, as I do feel more area’s that are cold within my physical that I will move myself towards, when and as I realize myself more and more in who I really am within the potential that I can live by and as.

Would you like to learn more about what principled living entails and how we can all start with this, within and as ourselves? There are lot’s of articles, video’s and lessons to find, free on line. To learn and understand where we come from (see ‘articles’ and ‘video’s’) and with practical solutions of how to move forward (see ‘lessons’ and ‘free on line’). For some basic understanding with regards to the terms ‘consciousness and awareness’, see the 3 links in the written text here above.


The body-being-mind relationship – Timeline


This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

Dag 489 – Standing in and as the commitment of Principled Living

huisjeThis weekend I have some days free before starting with all the work related to the new job. I have had a few quiet and a few rough and confronting days with myself. Witneus the rabbit has bladder problems and however I am giving and have given all the physical support I can think of and am able to including advise from the vet and communication with animals, she is not getting better. When I focus on her within the question how I can support, what comes up within me is ‘Live and stand by the Commitment of Principled Living’. So I move on with translating the commitments within a blog. I am more or less scared all the time and have to focus on my breathing and I recognize this from when an animal is about going to die. I am not saying she is, it is still unclear as I have some options with herbs for which I have to wait to get them, however I am not sure if it will be on time and, if it will help anyway. I am not clear on why she is not getting better as tests do not give such a bad result as a bladder-infection and not even that bad. I will move on with making it as comfortable as possible for her and see what I can do.

At the same time I am facing a point where I in the past, made so to speak a huge mistake with influence on my life and that of another human being. I did not stand with and as the principled living and that is coming back at me now (again) in and as my mind. While during that days making this decision I looked it over and over again and found myself unable to stop myself from moving into the direction where I am now. I see it as being unable to stop following my mind within that point because of unclarity within and as myself and so I moved, to make it/myself visible for myself in and as physical reality.  The outcome of making this move was not completely how I wanted it in the end however, I did not do anything to change or stop it and so, did not take responsibility within, because at that moment I felt unable to take responsibility for my own thoughts and emotions and so I created consequenses and dimished/compromised (part of) the life of myself (and the other) within this. It was necessary for myself to start standing on my own feet and this I saw reflected in the other as a point that I kept on reacting on. The whole starting-point was self-dishonest so I openen it up again in totality. So in that way, it was the move to make, to move myself to a place where I could stand up on my own feet to find myself the starting-point of self-honesty.

What I see now what the fear is, is fear for facing the mistakes that I made, where the mistakes are the points of me not standing within and as the principled living of what is best for all. It was a movement out of self-interest mixed with an experience of powerlessness of how to stand on my own two feet and walk things and I eventually decided to make this movement to actually see myself within and as. This self-interest feels as ‘self’ because we as the mind have been integrated within and as our physical body so it literally can feel as ‘going against ourselves’ while doing what is best for all. Not seeing how we are included in this ‘all’ as this ‘all’ does not include ourselves in and as self-interest – from which I feel and so believe that ‘this is me”; this ‘all’ includes me as life which on most levels, I do not know myself in and as and so, I do not see myself as ‘this is who I am’. So I sabotage myself as life when I am not doing what is best for all, when I am not sharing what I have out of fear of loss, because it feels so ‘not right’ to ‘go against myself’ (as how I know myself).

In a later stage we will face what we have choosen to follow and we fear to face this in and as ourselves. Fearing my own fear. This is what we face at death if we do not face it while living on earth and this is what I see coming up everytime an animal dies/is about to die/looks like is going to die and where in I experience an intense fear and nervousness. In this I stand completely alone and this is where I remember Bernard saying: here you stand up or you die.

I fear being alone without Witneus. I fear being really alone and within this, fear myself isolating myself in and as the mind because of this fear of being alone as the only way to face myself. I see myself grasping in and as the mind to search a way to ‘go back’ to the situation that I stopped, as if it was ‘alright’ there. Which was not so actually, as I was strugling with what I am facing now in and as this fear of standing alone which I translated as ‘being alone’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to confuse ‘standing alone’ with ‘being alone’ and seeing ‘being alone’ as the only way to come to ‘stand alone’ and within this, isolate myself in and as the mind and creating this in physical reality where in I use several experiences in and as self-interest as an excuse to do so.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give and receive unconditional support  – within my living on a long term base as a basic platform to grow and expand from as I understood that standing alone, means being able to stand alone within my living  – and within the fear of being too much influenced by inconsistencies of another and of myself as a reaction on this and vice versa and so, I created inconsistencies within and as myself which triggered the inconsistenced living within another, manifested in physical reality which I used as a reason, justification and confirmation of this inconsistancy that I first triggered and so to not trust the other in this and using it as an excuse to walk out and go ‘my own way’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think over and over again that I ‘could have stayed’ while I appearently could not, where in I underestimate my own mind consciousness system and within this overestimate myself in and as the mind while ‘looking back’ where in I project who I am now on who I was in the past and within this hurt myself over and over again until I find the one point where I really see, understand and so forgive myself for  why, how and who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt myself and another by accumulating consequenses out of fear of being alone instead of walking point by point and sort it out within myself before I get physically involved with someone within my world, which is mainly because I had no tools to work with and commitments to stand within.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be and have more patience and to listen to the other who was bringing up very realistic and practical that walking together as we did takes time.

How can I prevent myself from doing this again, from running away from myself in and as fear, from fearing myself in and as fear? By standing and living in and as the principled living of what is best for all life as a starting-point in self-honesty, even if I do not totally see it within the moment. If there is a doubt that it is not best for all, then I don’t move, don’t make decisions and do more investigation. Until I am clear and stable within. Until I am constant.

It is me standing within and as the commitment of Principled Living as the only ‘one’ I can hold on to.

The Desteni of Living


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