Dag 740 – 20. Searching for the life within me

This blog is related to record 20: Searching for the life within me

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a programming of giving birth to another life as a way to try to experience the ‘gift of life’ so to speak, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the gift of life is existing within me as a potential that I can ‘breathe life in’ through bringing me back to myself from the separation in and as my own consciousness, within the application of self-forgiveness and self-correction and the living of words in a way that is best for all, in and as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within trying to give birth to another life, separate myself more from myself and the potential of ‘the gift of life’ within and as myself, because of more and more following thoughts, emotions and feelings related to the polarity of having or not having the possibility to become pregnant and so, making it dependent on something that is already separated from myself in and as my mind as a programming existing.

Here to mention that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with becoming pregnant or having this as something one would like to create, as long as it is coming from a starting-point of stability, responsibility and common sense and actually would be most cool if one is able to firstly walk some years into an understanding of what it means to be self-responsible, to learn and see the influence of thoughts, emotions and feelings within/as self and how to direct oneself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the potential of birthing myself as life from the physical, to make this dependent on giving birth to another life and so, making something outside myself responsible for myself as the potential as life within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself unhappy and emotional by making myself dependent on something or someone outside myself and more and more, loose sight of myself within my potential.

When and as I see myself becoming emotional and unhappy, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I make my potential to be here, to be in breathe and express myself, that I make this dependent on something or someone outside myself.

I commit myself to investigate why and how I make my self-expression dependent on something or someone else and to see what it is that I fear (to happen or loose) and from here, forgive myself accordingly and live the correction by practising my experession from a point of self-responsibility, as in being aware of the responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings and emotions, words and deeds and expressing myself within and as this awareness.

Previous blog: 19. Playing Russian Roulette

Next blog: 21. Opportunity to change direction

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Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

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Dag 738 – 19. Playing Russian roulette

This blog is related to record 19: Playing Russian roulette

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play Russian Roulette and in this way, ‘let Nature decide’ instead of making a grounded decision after considering all dimensions within and without myself that are involved in the act of having intercourse while having a biological clock ticking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need to walk a ‘Russian roulette’ as physical consequenses to be able to stand up and forgive/correct myself from a situation in the past that I had not walked within self-awareness, instead of having the tools and being able to forgive myself within writing and speaking and so, preventimng myself from walking consequenses in and as this physical existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the creation of physical consequences and wanting myself as how I see I could be and walk within my potential, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the mind-programming has been physically manifested and integrated within and as myself and within and as this physical existence and so, it takes a physical process to walk through and eventually stand up in and as myself, while walking through the consequences, to come to a point of self-responsibility, within and as self-awareness and self-understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not yet being able to live as how I imagine I could within my utmost potential, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I look from a mind-perspective to myself as ‘how I could be’, instead of seeing how I am within the reality of this moment and from here, support myself to take responsibility for myself in those area’s and dimensions that I see that need alignment to a more considering approach of myself (and/as others) as life as a whole.

When and as I see myself tending to ‘let Nature decide’ as not taking direction of a situation to make a decision in, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am allowing myself to let myself being influenced by a desire that I have not yet investigated within and as myself and so, that I have not yet taken responsibility for.

I commit myself to find out what desire makes that I tend to let something or someone outside myself decide what will happen within myself or my life, in area’s that I actually do have a say in and from here, forgive myself the related emotion or feeling within the desire, to take of the load so to speak and from here, take responsibility by taking the time to consider all dimensions within and as myself that I am having access to in that moment, before making life-changing steps or decisions.

When and as I see myself fearing and/or judging physical consequences, I stop and breathe.

I realize that the fear I experience consist of a judgement, as giving more or less value to something, more or less than seeing and understanding it for what it is.

I commit myself to embrace physical consequences when and as they are here and to use them to align myself to the living of my potential in consideration of myself and others, connected in and as life, within the application of self-forgiveness and self-correction and while doing this, standing up and learning to direct – myself as well as the situation that I am involved in – to an outcome that is best for all and within the capacity of my own body, being and mind.

I commit myself to while doing so and ‘walking back’, meaning walking through my own mind-creations, to take responsibility for what I have created and within this, ensure to support myself and/as others as well, to eventually prevent creating unneccessary consequences again.

When and as I see myself judging myself (or/as another) for not yet living my that what I see that I am capable of as my utmost potential, to stop and breathe.

I realize that I look from a mind-perspective to myself (and/or others) and from here, create an idea of how I could be, instead of seeing who I am in the reality of the moment.

I commit myself to be and become self-honest with who I am in the reality of the moment and from here, take responsibility for the flaws through the application of self-forgiveness and then correct myself as aligning myself to a more considering approach of life as a whole.

Bernard Poolman:

“Engage the problem to understand the problem. Place yourself in all positions to gain a multi dimensional understanding. Observe where you have an interest you want to protect and why you want to protect it and justify your position. For instance – with money – place yourself with little money having to buy food and educate your children, then increase the money and see how your choices change –and then have a lot and see how you change – and then have equal money –enough for all and see why it is you are unable to give to others, yet you want for yourself – why this need to be better exist when it is not based in reality, but rather in an obsession to judge others, in an obsessive idea of inequality that makes you fear others will abuse you if there is equality – then find it in you to correct yourself to transcend the fears that you use to justify inequality –remembering the various conditions you have experienced through your imagination –now you have learned an effective way to use imagination—to understand how others live, without you having to go through it directly –make this experience valuable by changing that within you that cause others to suffer and then you will experience enlightenment and the world will become a better place when you make sure your experience that you integrate of a world where all have enough, becomes the world system in education, economics, education, politics, healthcare –we all have the capacity to teach ourselves –once we have removed our own justifications and fear of others as equals”

Previous blog: 18. Using emotional manipulation

Next blog: 20. Searching for the life within me


Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 705 – The body-being-mind relationship – Who am I ?

discobal

The question ‘who am I’ was being discussed within group-chats that I participate in and at first, this was a bit vague for me. Meaning, I could not really define who I am and this was actually an important basic-point all the time, like, I could rationally understand ‘who I am’ and perfectly give words to it that I have learned and seen as real and common sense over the last few years. However, this does not mean that I as ‘me’, am really understanding and realizing myself as who I am.

Last week I was at my weekly sport-lesson. Standing half in front of a mirrow, doing the excersises within a group on music, I like this kind of work-out. What I noticed were the self-judgements that were automatically coming up within myself. Small and fast thoughts about how I look – positive as well as negative – and within this, as soon as they come up, I feel and notice how I finally diminish myself and actually define myself within and as these judgements. So here, I define myself as ‘who I am’ within and as self-judgement, so in and as the mind. Which is not a very supportive way to exist.

Moving on with the lesson, a realization came up within and as myself: I know and am sure what I stand for, I stand for and as principled living. I have committed myself to this, I am walking this now for several years, I am sure that this is what I want, what I will do and what I stand for and as and I am sure that I will forgive and correct myself when and as I am not living accordingly to the principles that are considering myself as life as a whole.

I can be and am sure of this, because I have extensively studied and applied this, I have walked and am continues walking this as a process that is needed to move myself from consciousness to awareness (where my awareness is present in and as myself within principled living, considering life as a whole). And here, I realized that this will be my platform of ‘who I am’, it’s my integrity and/as the certainty within and as myself, of my commitment and effort to live within principles that are best for myself (as life) and within this, for and as life as a whole and change myself into this on all the levels that I have separated myself in, as separation from this awareness within and as myself.

While realizing this, the small ‘rembling’ self-judgements disappeared/went silent and I have moved beyond this point within myself. Every time that an uncertainty comes up within myself, I remember myself as who I am within principles living. When I see within myself that self-judgements from another dimension keep on going, I know that these are other patterns that I need to look at, to forgive and correct within myself. However these small, rambling, diminishing self-judgements that are going on and on in my and every one’s mind – you know, the ones where everything is judged within self, a look on my face, a posture, actually my physical appearance and how I express myself in every small detail and then comparing myself to another, as being so self-conscious of every movement within and as my mind without doing anything about it – these are not needed, these do not make any sense at all and are of no support for myself, in and as life.

Within this moment during the sport, my calves became warmer and the circulation towards the calves, became better. A slight pain that did come back within the top of my left calve the few days before, it went away. One step forward towards earthing myself, one step deeper within my own physical body and finding a reference-point for myself that I can use, that I can live as, when and as I see that I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to my physical presence and actually, it is a reference-point for myself when and as I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to any other aspect. Altough here there may be more self-reflection needed, this who I am within principled living is still a reference-point for myself, in any and every moment.

More points to come, as I do feel more area’s that are cold within my physical that I will move myself towards, when and as I realize myself more and more in who I really am within the potential that I can live by and as.

Would you like to learn more about what principled living entails and how we can all start with this, within and as ourselves? There are lot’s of articles, video’s and lessons to find, free on line. To learn and understand where we come from (see ‘articles’ and ‘video’s’) and with practical solutions of how to move forward (see ‘lessons’ and ‘free on line’). For some basic understanding with regards to the terms ‘consciousness and awareness’, see the 3 links in the written text here above.

waterdrop

The body-being-mind relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

Dag 301 – Expressie en de Darm – ‘Het is me teveel’- Gedachtendimensie en Verbeeldingsdimensie

Voortzetting van het onderwerp moeheid en slapen:

Dag 297 – Expressie en de Darm – The Inner Test

Dag 298 – Expressie en de Darm – Moeheid en de functie van de milt

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Start uitwerking van de dimensies zoals geschreven in Dag 300 – Expressie en de Darm – ‘Het is me teveel’:

Full_quantum-mind-self-awareness-step-2

Gedachtendimensie:

Ik kan het niet – Ik weet het niet

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken ‘ik kan het niet’.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken ‘ik weet het niet’.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken dat ik het niet kan.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken dat ik het niet weet.

Als ik mezelf zie participeren in de gedachte ‘ik kan het niet’, dan stop ik, ik adem.

Ik realiseer me dat ik reageer in en als een herinnering als een programma, en dat ik als herinnering als programma in/als een gedachte, aangeef dat ik het niet kan.

Ik realiseer me dat de gedachte ‘ik kan het niet’ gebaseerd is op een herinnering in de tijdslijnen van de geest en dus niet op de fysieke realiteit waarin ik me op dit moment bevind.

Ik stop, ik adem. Ik breng mezelf hier in het fysiek, en ik zie in mezelf waardoor de gedachte ‘ik kan het niet’ getriggerd wordt. Ik pas zelfvergevingen toe op de connectie met het trigger-punt.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel te onderzoeken in het moment wat ik aan het doen ben of ik dit wel of niet kan. Als ik het zelf kan, voer ik het uit, adem voor adem. Als ik het niet zelf kan, zie ik of ik het al uit kan voeren met behulp van ondersteuning en zie ik wie ik kan vragen ter ondersteuning, en als ik het nog niet uit kan/wil voeren, laat ik het rusten en onderzoek verdere verbanden in mezelf met de gedachte ‘ik kan het niet’ en met hetgeen ik wel of juist niet uitvoer.

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 1

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Als ik mezelf zie participeren in de gedachte ‘ik weet het niet’, dan stop ik, ik adem.

Ik realiseer me dat ik automatisch reageer met een gedachte die in mijn fysiek is opgeslagen als geest-structuur, fysiek gemanifesteerd.

Ik realiseer me dat ik zelfs niet weet – lol – of deze gedachte wel van mij is, of dat ik die automatisch heb overgenomen van voorouders, als een algemeen niet weten wat te doen. Wat ik wel weet is dat ik de gedachte ‘ik weet het niet’ geaccepteerd heb als zijnde ‘van mij’, als ‘dit ben ik’, en dus ben ik hier zelf verantwoordelijk voor.

Ik realiseer me dat het mogelijk is dat ik iets niet weet omdat ik het nooit gedaan heb en/of omdat ik de juiste informatie niet heb ontvangen en/of reeds toegepast.

Ik realiseer me dat als ik geloof en participeer in de gedachte ‘ik weet het niet’, ik mezelf niet in staat stel het te leren/het te weten, aangezien ik mezelf afzijdig houd in de geest in onwetendheid.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel mezelf te vergeven dat en als ik iets niet weet, en mezelf de reacties te vergeven die in mezelf opkomen naar aanleiding van de gedachte die ik in me laat bestaan.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel mezelf te onderwijzen in hetgeen ik niet weet met behulp van alle informatie die beschikbaar is bij desteni en eventueel met behulp van een ander die hetgeen ik nog niet weet, zelf reeds heeft toegepast.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel met gezond verstand te zien in hetgeen ik niet weet, en te zien of ik het zelf wel weet als ik wat moeite doe om een antwoord in mezelf te formuleren.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel te oefenen met het formuleren van antwoorden in en als mezelf, op schrift en/of verbaal.

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 2

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Verbeeldingsdimensie:

Mezelf, jong meisje, stilstaand, hoofd iets omlaag, alleen, niet wetend wat te doen en wat te zeggen

Herinnering:

Ik sta buiten bij x in zijn tuin, hij is met iets bezig in de schuur, we zijn alleen, de familie is binnen. Terwijl hij bezig is, half met zijn rug naar me toe, vraagt hij opeens: ‘zeg Ingrid, zie ik daar iets komen? Krijg je borstjes?’ Ik antwoord niet, ik beweeg niet, ik kijk naar de grond, weet niet wat te zeggen. Ik schrik, het beneemt me de adem en deze zet vast in mijn borst. Ik val stil en trek me terug in mezelf. Om er nooit meer uit te komen. Dit is teveel.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb een verbeelding in me te laten bestaan van mezelf als jong meisje, stilstaand, hoofd iets omlaag, niet wetend wat te doen en wat te zeggen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te verbeelden als jong meisje, stilstaand, hoofd iets omlaag, alleen, niet wetend wat te doen en wat te zeggen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb de verbeelding van mezelf als jong meisje, stilstaand, hoofd iets omlaag, alleen, niet wetend wat te doen en wat te zeggen te verbinden aan een herinnering.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf vast te houden in een verbeelding, gekoppeld aan een herinnering.

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Als ik mezelf zie participeren in een verbeelding van mezelf als jong meisje, stilstaand, hoofd iets omlaag, niet wetend wat te doen en wat te zeggen, dan stop ik, ik adem.

Ik realiseer me dat ik me in een plaatje in de geest begeef, in een situatie als herinnering van een moment waarin ik niet wist wat te doen en waarin ik een ervaring gecreeerd heb waarin ik ervaar en geloof dat ik niets kon doen, welke afbeelding getriggerd wordt in dit moment.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel te onderzoeken of ik het trigger-punt kan vinden welke de gedachte en/als afbeelding getriggerd heeft.

Ik stel mezelf ten doel de herinnering uit te schrijven en zelf te vergeven, zodat ik mezelf kan bevrijden van een leven in en als deze herinnering als hoe ik me destijds ervaren heb.

(Uitschrijving herinnering volgt in een apart blog).

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Wordt vervolgd

De serie Expressie en de Darm begint bij Dag 232  – (inclusief Disclaimer)

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Proces van zelfverandering:
www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/