Dag 750 – 29. Care as motivation

This blog is related to record 29: Care as motivation

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like ‘having a child’ and/or ‘being in a relationship’ must be ‘taken care of’ before I actually and really will be able to take care of myself in and as life and/as life as a whole, where in my self-interest – showing it’s face in ‘emotional experiences’ of ‘unfulfilled desires’ – is ‘leading me‘ or better said ‘controling me’ where in I also not take care in what is best for myself and so, I keep myself actually prisoned or controled within my own emotional experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself locked in within the control of my emotional experiences of unfulfilled desires in which I believe that ‘I can not live without’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can not live without that what I desire, where I use this actually as a distraction within and as myself, in and as my own mind as a belief that I can not live without the control of my own mind within thoughts, feelings and emotions, as this then ‘feels like I die’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘I will die’ without having a connection within and as my mind where in I channel myself into certain desires, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that within this I project my own mind in the ‘state of death’ or ‘sleeping state’ that I exist in within this moment while participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions and following and believing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts, feelings and emotions in and as my mind within polarity that lead up to ‘a death end’ when the energy of polarity runs out, instead of looking at ‘living words’ that are best for all, including myself, that I can assist and support myself with and ‘breathe’ myself into life with, step by step, day by day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blanko and tired here without exactly seeing what and how I do ‘hold onto’ certain experiences related to ‘love and relationships’ and what this ‘gives’ to me.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of fear, related to a relationship, I stop and breathe.

I realize that the fear is an experience of the other side of the coin of the experience of love and that I may have gone into an experience of love, to not ‘feel’ the experience of fear or ‘uncertainty’ within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perhaps go into an experience of love to not feel the experience of fear or uncertainty within and as myself.

I commit myself to slow down and look carefully into the experience of fear within and as myself, within the realization that ‘fear of another’ is a thought in essence and so, there is a judgement as thought connected within and as myself, towards this ‘other’ as myself and so I also commit myself to realize that there is then most of time a self-judgement involved and so, I commit myself to keep on finding the thoughts as (self)-judgements and forgiving myself within, related to an experience of fear/love towards someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have preferences in life as for example I do naturally like animals and so, this is a more easy motivation for me to ‘take care’, for myself and for life as a whole and that I still do experience quite some fear as resistance to ‘people’ which is because of how the mind consciousness systems are living out the inequality.

When and as I experience a fear as resistance coming up within me in interaction with another person, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am reacting to how an inequality is living out and that I ‘fear’ to keep standing and so, I somewhere judge myself in this fear and state of ineffectiveness or, I judge myself for the same thing that I do not yet see within and as myself.

I commit myself to embrace and forgive myself for my own inequalities in and as this fear as thoughts as judgements that comes up when and as an inequality is playing out and I commit myself to find and use a living word in which I make myself more effective and directed to what I see that is supporting me to stand up, to keep standing and stable in a way that is best for myself as well as for others involved, in the small moments of every day life.

Previous blog: 28. Learned a lot

This blog is connected to the last record of this serie of self-reflection on the years of my biological fertility. I have found it of great support for myself to walk it all through and share, to free myself from a certain ‘charge’ that I experienced to it all and while doing so, I could bring it back to experiences coming up within situations in current time and bring this into self-forgiveness as well.

Thank you for reading, listening and walking with.

I will continue with what is ahead and coming up within myself and my life to take care of, within and as myself, for myself and for life as a whole. It may only reach one or a few other beings at the moment, however I do understand that a ripple effect will take place that I/we may not yet see or be aware of, as every one who is taking responsibility is part of a one+one+one.


Proces van zelfverandering:
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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
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The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
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Dag 640 – The mind-body relationship – The relationship with my intestine

healthy relationship

In my buddy-chat the point opened up of redefining my relationship with my intestine. I find this not so easy but during chat some points came forwards as an opening to start looking in this. I start here with some self-forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it is wrong that my intestines are a point of cross-reference for myself of where and in what extent actually, I have separated myself from myself and my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I did it all wrong because I have developped/manifested/lived patterns within my intestine where others did not have that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it unfair because there are patterns involved that are passed from generation to generation that are not ‘mine’ from source, however I made them ‘mine’ because I have accepted and allowed them to manifest within myself and lived and manifested and/or integrated them more physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe, expect myself to be able to completely walk through this manifested mind-patterns through my life time and life times before, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will not know and be sure about me walking through within the ‘finish’ of the intestine-issues being solved completely on a physical level as I do not know to what extend and how deeply it is manifested, however I do see a possibility of getting it better and better and so I walk on and through as what is best and until it is done, although I might not ‘get it done’ in this physical body in the way that I expect this to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I know the reason why I have to walk through this as thinking and believing that I will solve the manifested physical discomforts, while actually yes there may be a reason for me to walk through all this (without making it ‘spiritually’ as ‘more’ in/as the mind) but it might be different then what I think the reason is because I do not yet see the reason behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it does not make sense to walk through this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it does not make sense what I do and here, I am making myself less than who I am/can be in/as live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to make sense of what I walk through, this to not fall into an experience of hopelessness and uselessness as ‘never getting through’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will never get through and so, try to make sense of the intestinal discomforts and difficulties as ‘finding reasons for it’ to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find reasons for my intestine to manifest difficulties and discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and fight against defining myself as someone who is having/living with a chronical, physical discomfort as a spastic colon with very uncomfortable symptoms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really want to see how deeply physically I have accepted and allowed the thoughts, feelings and emotions to manifest, in and as a fear that if I name myself as someone who has to live with this, I will never come out/come through because I am then in/as a self-definition as physically not alright.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who is physically not alright while I do not know myself like this from birth/childhood and I do see an accumulated pattern in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still define myself as someone who is physically alright and strong while I do not feel myself like that physically when and as my intestine is having difficulties to release from the physical waste.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do see the relationship between the mind and the physical and so, I do expect the physical to be solved at once because I do see it interrelated, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have build up patterns within and as myself over time and so it will take time to walk through where I will come to unexplored area’s to explore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that after walking through my own patterns, I have to walk through the patterns that are past through generations, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that walking through ‘my own’ patterns is walking through the patterns past by generation as I made them my own and so, taking responsibility for and as myself in thought, feelings and emotions is taking responsibility for the generation-line in and as the patterns that I have accepted and allowed to live and manifest myself and only this is my responsibility and that what I did not accept and allow to live and manifest and others did, is the other as ‘the owner of the manifestation’ to take responsibility for, as how it is for myself and everyone to take responsibility for our own mind and acceptances and allowances within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than others who do not have physical difficulties/did not manifested them the way I did, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – without comparing myself to others and their process as this is not best for anyone but as a point of self-support – that the quicker I get sick, my possibility of change is quicker.

To be continued

(…) So everything has got Stages of Deliberation. That means, dependency on how much you are Feeding it Energy and obviously in a way when you are Sick it already means you’re at a Point of Change. When you are not Sick and you are Deliberate in your Actions- then you must know: you‘re in Serious Trouble because that means you are very Deceptive, therefore the body will present itself as quite Healthy, and by the Time that you will get Sick, there will be Nothing you can do, because you are very Deceptive and therefore it’ll take a Longer time to Get Sick. The Quicker you get Sick- the Better it means it is for you, because your Possibility of Change is Quicker. The Longer it takes you to get Sick that means, the more Healthy you are, the more Deceptive you are. If you are living in this World, you have a lot of Money, you are very Healthy, very Happy – Big Shit in your Future. (…)

From: Interviews from the farm 60: Candida and Self Abuse

 

Self-care-1

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
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