Dag 711 – 1. Introduction

This blog is related to record 1. Introduction

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience it as ‘too intimate’ to speak about the process that I have walked with regards to the years of fertility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe ‘one does not talk about these things’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the process that I have walked as a waste of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame about compromising myself in the process that I have walked with regards to the years of fertility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear of being nailed to the pillory when and as I openly speak about the process that I have walked with regards to the years of fertility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it ridiculous to talk about and think ‘why should I share this, it doesn’t matter so much’, while at the same time I see that it does matter, that for me it is a way of support to open up and walk through the details and points to take responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that what I share is so ‘child-like’ and that there are more important things to share and that ‘others are sharing more interesting processes’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to share because I notice within myself that there are some energies related in and as the mind and I don’t want to share from the mind in and as energy, I want to share as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still feel some emotion coming up at the end when I listen to myself speaking that it is not really possible anymore to bear a healthy child (because the period of fertility is at it’s ending) where in I do not even would define it as ‘sadness’ but more as a ‘loss’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret for not having been able to full-term a pregnancy and give birth to a child – for not having the tools for self-support and being able to effectively support myself while I was in the years of fertility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that what I have walked is not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I could have done better.

When and as I see myself participating in a thought as belief of something being ridiculous or not important to share, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am participating in a sabotage pattern within myself that I better not participate in as this is preventing me from sharing anything from and as myself. I realize that within the small, there is an opportunity to transcent because, we start creating ourselves and our lives from the small. I realize that I cannot directly share from myself as a being, as first I need to walk through the mind and take responsibility for the energies coming from thoughts, feelings and emotions within me and so, while walking and sharing, I will slowly see myself coming through as me as directing this process. I commit myself to walk through all the records and apply self-forgiveness on the energies coming up and coming through and from here, use it as self-support to stop the related separation within and as myself and coming more towards and into expression as myself.

When and as I see myself going into a thinking of it not being good enough what I have walked, I stop and breathe. I realize that everything that I walk is ‘good enough’ as it is how it is and that it is not so much the outcome that determines who I am but what matters, is who I am within and how I take responsibility for myself in it within the small aspects. I commit myself to walk with what is here within and as myself and take responsibility for who I am within what I walk, from the small to the big.

When and as I notice an experience of something being ‘too intimate to share’ within me, I stop and breathe. I realize that we are not used to openly share about what is really going on within ourselves and I realize as well that what I share in relation to the years of fertility and the process that I have walked, is something that many women can to some degree relate to and as well for men, it can be supportive to better understand what the women may go through and so, it is a very common thing to speak about that may be of support as well for others who are also experiencing it as ‘too intimate’ to share or speak about.

When and as I experience a regret of not having been able to effectively support myself while being in my fertile years, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is the reality of what we as humanity have accepted and allowed on earth and within and as ourselves to exist and create and so, I as well walk through less fortunate situations and experiences that are and were not optimum and that this is for myself to take responsibility for as a point to take on, for myself as well as for life as a whole and that it is about me standing within principle, no matter what happens. I commit myself to take responsibility for the parts in me and my life that were not so fortunate, to forgive myself and make peace with it and see how to put myself as point of support in this for myself and others and I commit myself to investigate how the experience of ‘loss’ is related to not being able to bear a healthy child anymore with regards to being at the end of the years of fertility and to take responsibility for it within this serie of blogs.

I commit myself to keep practising and sharing about the simple, daily points that we are all facing within ourselves during our lives, maybe in different ways but in essence the same.

Ooievaar 1 (4)

Next blog: Dag 712 – 2. Loosing stability


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Dag 705 – The body-being-mind relationship – Who am I ?

discobal

The question ‘who am I’ was being discussed within group-chats that I participate in and at first, this was a bit vague for me. Meaning, I could not really define who I am and this was actually an important basic-point all the time, like, I could rationally understand ‘who I am’ and perfectly give words to it that I have learned and seen as real and common sense over the last few years. However, this does not mean that I as ‘me’, am really understanding and realizing myself as who I am.

Last week I was at my weekly sport-lesson. Standing half in front of a mirrow, doing the excersises within a group on music, I like this kind of work-out. What I noticed were the self-judgements that were automatically coming up within myself. Small and fast thoughts about how I look – positive as well as negative – and within this, as soon as they come up, I feel and notice how I finally diminish myself and actually define myself within and as these judgements. So here, I define myself as ‘who I am’ within and as self-judgement, so in and as the mind. Which is not a very supportive way to exist.

Moving on with the lesson, a realization came up within and as myself: I know and am sure what I stand for, I stand for and as principled living. I have committed myself to this, I am walking this now for several years, I am sure that this is what I want, what I will do and what I stand for and as and I am sure that I will forgive and correct myself when and as I am not living accordingly to the principles that are considering myself as life as a whole.

I can be and am sure of this, because I have extensively studied and applied this, I have walked and am continues walking this as a process that is needed to move myself from consciousness to awareness (where my awareness is present in and as myself within principled living, considering life as a whole). And here, I realized that this will be my platform of ‘who I am’, it’s my integrity and/as the certainty within and as myself, of my commitment and effort to live within principles that are best for myself (as life) and within this, for and as life as a whole and change myself into this on all the levels that I have separated myself in, as separation from this awareness within and as myself.

While realizing this, the small ‘rembling’ self-judgements disappeared/went silent and I have moved beyond this point within myself. Every time that an uncertainty comes up within myself, I remember myself as who I am within principles living. When I see within myself that self-judgements from another dimension keep on going, I know that these are other patterns that I need to look at, to forgive and correct within myself. However these small, rambling, diminishing self-judgements that are going on and on in my and every one’s mind – you know, the ones where everything is judged within self, a look on my face, a posture, actually my physical appearance and how I express myself in every small detail and then comparing myself to another, as being so self-conscious of every movement within and as my mind without doing anything about it – these are not needed, these do not make any sense at all and are of no support for myself, in and as life.

Within this moment during the sport, my calves became warmer and the circulation towards the calves, became better. A slight pain that did come back within the top of my left calve the few days before, it went away. One step forward towards earthing myself, one step deeper within my own physical body and finding a reference-point for myself that I can use, that I can live as, when and as I see that I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to my physical presence and actually, it is a reference-point for myself when and as I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to any other aspect. Altough here there may be more self-reflection needed, this who I am within principled living is still a reference-point for myself, in any and every moment.

More points to come, as I do feel more area’s that are cold within my physical that I will move myself towards, when and as I realize myself more and more in who I really am within the potential that I can live by and as.

Would you like to learn more about what principled living entails and how we can all start with this, within and as ourselves? There are lot’s of articles, video’s and lessons to find, free on line. To learn and understand where we come from (see ‘articles’ and ‘video’s’) and with practical solutions of how to move forward (see ‘lessons’ and ‘free on line’). For some basic understanding with regards to the terms ‘consciousness and awareness’, see the 3 links in the written text here above.

waterdrop

The body-being-mind relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.