Dag 746 – 25. Can a decision be wrong or right?

This blog is related to record 25: Can a decision be wrong or right?

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at decisions or actually ‘choices’ in the past as if it was ‘wrong or right’ where in I then again go into a polarity where in I see that the whole situation is actually not coming from a starting-point of consideration and care of all aspects within myself and so not ‘best for all participants’ so from here, I create a situation where in I need to make a decision that, whatever I ‘choose’ to do, it will have consequences in some way, because my starting-point was not aligned within and as self-care and care for life as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘wrong and right’ outcome through already being separated within and as my starting-point when and as I am coming from a point of self-interest, in which I can only exist if and when I have separated myself from myself, from life, from self-care and from care for life as a whole, meaning, when I have separated myself from considering all aspects and participants before moving myself in a certain direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand with myself in where I am at a certain moment within my process and instead, start judging my choices and actions in the past as being ‘right or wrong’ and so, keeping myself within a state of judgement for longer than necessary, instead of immediately going into self-forgiveness and so taking responsibility for myself within the separation that I exist in, in and as the mind in a certain moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and keeping myself victimized, within judging my choices and decisions in the past, instead of using the consequences to face myself from a point of self-support and so, immediate and when I am able to, going into the living of self-forgiveness as an understanding of myself and where I come from and within doing so, I take responsibility for myself within the separation that I exist and existed in – separation in thoughts, words and deeds – and within this expansion of self-responsibility, I create a platform for myself to from now on do it different and with more and more consideration for myself in all aspects and for life as a whole in all aspects.

When and as I see myself going into searching for a ‘wrong or right’ for choices I have made in the past, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I here lengthen my own process as it does not make sense to create a polarity (in judging something as ‘wrong or right’) within myself from what I already existed in as a polarity.

I commit myself to find the point within myself that I did not consider myself in all aspects and life as a whole (or all participants) and where in I have influenced my starting-point into a state of separation as well and I commit myself to be self-honest within this, to face the dark aspects of self-interest, of fear, of protection and defence-mechanism that I have created as a way to try to control my environment and from here, to unconditionally forgive myself and embrace the shame and when I have been able to, to then unconditionally let it go so that I can move on within this new and expanded expression of responsibility within and as myself.

When and as I see myself searching for ‘what to do’ within a decision-making and then looking for what is ‘wrong or right’ in this, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am not totally clear within myself on where I stand or that I am not yet able to stand for what I see that is best for myself in all aspects.

I commit myself to embrace myself within the fear and control-mechanisms that I have created and to forgive myself unconditionally in what I see as a ‘weakness’ within me to from here, move through the experiences of fear and control in every day life, step by step, moment by moment and in every moment again, seeing what is best to do, to say or maybe to not do and say and I commit myself to support myself in this through receiving perspectives from others as well, as a support and cross-reference for myself in where I stand.

Previous blog: 24. Expecting another chance

Next blog: 26. A worst nightmare scenario


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Uil forgive

Dag 732 – 16. Shame and compromising

This blog is related to record 16: Shame and compromising

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame for the steps I have taken and compromised myself – as well as others – within where in I in that time, have used it as a justification that it is ‘normal’ to have this biological clock ticking and so, I allowed myself to continue following my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed about asking someone that I know from the past to donate, where in I am coming from an unclear starting-point and mixed up with self-interest to ‘have something from that someone’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide my face in my hands because of shame, where in at the same time I can also laugh about it within seeing how far I can go beyond my real self-respect, in trying to fulfill my own purpose without checking all dimensions within myself and then turning this ‘shamelessness’ into some kind of ‘strength’ as in ‘not being afraid to ask for what I would like’, where in I see a dimension of wanting the attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go far for attention and when not doing so, feeling like something dies within me or even as if I die by experiencing myself as not being seen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as not been seen and for this, asking for attention in different kind of ways beyond my real self-respect and integrity and so within this, compromising myself and my integrity within, as and by myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have manifested a physical experience as consequence of forwardly ‘fold myself in two’ within and as my own body, within compromising myself and going beyond my real self-respect and integrity, all for attention that feels so real in that period of time and from here, compromising my own stand within and as my physical body, in and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own experience of real shame by compromising my own stand, my own real self-respect and integrity, by following my thoughts, feelings and emotions as a (biological integrated) program within and as myself and my physical body, instead of stepping back and really looking at all dimensions within and as myself that I do notice but not really want to listen to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to – as shown in the above self-forgiveness statements – deliberately ignore my own integrety and self-respect within trying to fulfill a preferenced picture within me, instead of firstly investigating all dimensions and from here, seeing how I can work with all domensions that I see within myself, making peace with it and seeing how to create the best possible situation for myself and others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out this ‘trying to fulfill a goal’ so that I at least could say to myself, ‘hey I have tried and I am not to blame if it does not work out’ where in I was playing it out with ‘hesitation’ and so what eventually manifested, was this hesitation within and as myself as the outcome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from here see how I was playing it out only for the experience and to keep myself busy with it, as I did not know another effective way of ‘dealing’ with it and I was so distracted by it that I could not focus for a longer time on other dimensions, as somehow it felt like ‘I have to fulfill this goal first’ before I am able to focus on other dimensions within my life, as this felt as if I would ‘loose’ this one goal if and when I would ‘let it go’ as in focussing on other area’s, where in at that time, I was not aware of the application of self-forgiveness as the tool to really’ let go’ of something as in making peace with it through understanding the whole mechanism within and as myself as the mind playing out in and as this phytsical reality.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of shame, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I face something within myself where in I have compromised myself that I did not yet take responsibility for, so this is the moment to do so. I also realize that here, I can immediately take responsibility for the experience of shame as well within the self-support of self-forgiveness and that I do not need to stay in it, only as long as I need to forgive myself and understand myself in this specific compromising behaviour so that from here, I change myself and prevent myself from going into the compromising behaviour again.

I commit myself to face myself within a compromising pattern or behaviour and I commit myself to be self-honest and take responsibility for my part of self-interest that I participate in and have lived out and from here, move myself out of the real shame for compromising myself and/as others as well within the specific point that I face and from here I commit myself to prefent myself from going into this pattern again and instead, consider all dimensions that I see within myself and clearing my starting-point before taking action or living out a certain (biological/physical integrated) behaviour and clearing my starting-point.

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘recklessness’ of ‘not being ashamed of what I say or do’, I stop and breathe.

I realize that here, I create an opposite experience within my mind as an excuse or justification to walk a certain compromising pattern or behaviour as a way to try to fulfill a specific goal, without firstly investigating all dimensions within me.

I commit myself to be careful with myself and others and firstly investigate my starting-point when and as I see something that I would like to fulfill and from here, move myself breath by breath and investigate what is coming up within me and what is living within others that are involved and what the practical possibilities are as well.

I commit myself to let go of certain goals to fulfil and instead, live my utmost potential as my purpose within my daily life and so step by step, breath by breaht, see what I can create, coming from a starting-point of self-respect and integrity and considering life as a whole, as what is best for all, in short-term and/or long-term, depending on the possibilities and context.

When and as I see myself experiencing a fear of loss, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I fear to loose some attention as idea to create energy that I hold within me. I also realize that the experience of fear of loss is very much layered and so I need to walk through this layer by layer through time, forgiving myself for all the specific experiences that are connected and related.

I commit myself to within the moment of fear of loss, see what I practically can walk, if I need to do some steps in this physical reality to walk through and if this is possible in that moment and situation, where in I consider others that are involved and check if the ‘walking through’ will support them as well, or that I need to go to writing and bring it back to myself in this way and only for myself so that I can live the correction after this.

I commit myself to layer by layer, walk through the physical manifestation of the experience of fear of loss and within this, stand up for and as myself, in self-respect and integrity and as well as support for others in self-respect and integrity, when and as possible.

The Secret to Self-Realization:

(…) You will do Self Forgiveness and Write Every day, but without SHAME – you will Not Change, and it will All be in VAIN. Even PAIN will not Change Humanity. It will Only Be SHAME. SHAME will be the First REAL Physical Feeling, and Once You Change – You Rebirth as Life, you will Learn to FEEL for Real and be Really Alive.
Those that are of the Illusion as CONsciousness, can Feel No Shame! The Only Shame they Know is the Shame the System use to Keep one Enslaved. Real Shame is a Physical Realisation that Will Remain WITH You, As You, ‘TILL YOU CHANGE!

The NICE thing about SHAME, is that it is a Real Time Indicator as to Where you Are in Your Process. NO Shame yet, NO Change yet.
But, do Not Stop Self Forgiveness. Realise, that initially – Self-Forgiveness is Removing the Layers of Self Deception and suddenly, Shame will be HERE – then the Journey to Change Start. Then the Outcome is Certain. You WILL be Reborn as Life. (…)

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Previous blog: 15. The insemination

Next blog: 17. A relationship ending (in the past)


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Uil forgive

Dag 730 – Pushing my self-honesty

self-honesty

“And also pushing your self-honesty, cause you may find that what you prefer and what you can live with, is not the same”

Continuing on opening up the inner conflict that I wrote about in the previous blog. Something existing in it that I did not get a clear sight on and so, this is part of the reason why I did not open it up before, not really, but only looking at it from a starting-point of not being willing to change.

I saw the conflict of what I can live with and what I prefer, however I did not place the word ‘prefer’ in this and was looking at it as a desire, which was not really describing it as I did not really experience it as a desire so I could not work with that.

From here I lived the situation in reality – this is what happens when and as I am not willing or able to let something go through writing and self-forgiveness –  where I started to live as ‘what I prefer’ in a certain point but noticed that I could not keep standing in this physically, it was exhausting me. I have learned to push beyond some limitations of ideas of tiredness and not being able to etc, so I pushed myself in this. However here I was using this application in trying to live what I prefer, until the point of conflict inside myself and reflecting outside in a relationship, where I from this point started to open up this point of inner conflict and found my self-honesty within.

This gives inner peace and self-satisfaction as a reference-point and so I have found something to expand myself in. Where I had a chat about this conflict playing out in my external reality in a ‘breaking up’ in a relationship and here, my buddy mentioned to “push your self-honesty, cause you may find that what you prefer and what you can live with, is not the same”.

This made sense and could land within me, as here I suddenly understood how I have to make peace with this fact of what I can live with that may not be the same as what I prefer to live with. So here, I am ready to bring this point into self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a point that I prefer to live with and within this, compromise myself in and as my self-honesty and from here, see my self-honesty disregarded and not recognized through others, through a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself in my self-honesty in relation to a point that I prefer to live in and as with a partner but where in I see that I can not live with it like ‘how I would prefer’ as in this way it is exhausting me although I may want it so badly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sick of myself in this point of compromising myself in my self-honesty with regards to a preference of how to live a relationship, where from here I see it reflected that a partner is able to live it like that but in a point of inconsideration of other possibilities and more in a way of ‘wanting it the easy and nice way’, of wanting convenience from where I then feel inferior because I am physically not able to ‘live up with this way of convenience’ – on several dimensions – and actually it is also not what I want or prefer anymore but I do not want to loose this partner and I prefer to share something with him and if he is not willing to consider me in this, I will loose this point of what I prefer to share with him.

Here it doesnot mean that I then need to ‘break up’ with this partner but more that I need to stand up within and as my self-honesty and from here, opening this up with the partner and lay out what I am able to and what not and from here, give him the choice to walk with me in this or not and so, taking the risk to ‘loose this partner’ and so to loose this ‘sharing that I prefer most to do with him’.

This sharing is still possible, also from a starting-point of self-honesty as here it is more in consideration of my own physical and so of physical reality as a whole and for the other it would mean a consideration of another being in and as the physical and so of his own physical and physical reality, meaning seeing and moving beyond only our own preferences and start living what is best for all.

For this, one need to be ready to give up some created energetic experiences and behaviours and activities and so if one is not willing or ready, a break up will follow (or takes place in advance to prefent looking at a point of self-interest).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict and being rejected because of bringing forward a point within self-honesty that another is perhaps not willing to consider or resisting to look at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider myself within and as my self-honesty and so reject myself in my self-honesty and from here, create this form and experience of rejection in my outside world in an intimate relationship as a reflection of the relationship with myself, inside myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start blaming the one who is rejecting me as a reflection of my inner rejection of my own self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear voicing myself in and as self-honesty where then the fear should come forward out of and existing as a point of judgement and rejection of my own self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience ‘hate’ towards myself about this point of compromise within and as myself (where in it is practical to look at ‘hate’ as in ‘building up angryness’ in – what I find very clear – ‘points that I did not yet have taken responsibility for’ and from here, this accumulates in and as the experience of angryness into or towards the experience of hate – towards self actually but if we are not willing/able to bring it back to self, we will project the experience of ‘hate’ onto something or someone outside ourselves, like as in ‘I hate my partner when he does this or that’).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience real shame about how I have rejected and ignored my own self-honesty, within trying to live what and how I prefer, in and as an idea, in and as the mind that I have appaerently created within and as myself with regards to relationships.

Why do I write this in a blog of Wholesome Journeys under the category of ‘the influence of a spastic colon’?

Because I have manifested this pattern within and as my colon with spasms, as a way of physical expression that is compromised by a mind-pattern that I have integrated within and as my physical body. In this blog I write more about how my mind consciousness system is implemented in my physical body in a way that it influences my organs and organ-functions, which I can use now as a reference-point to face my own self-limitations and neglection of my self-honesty.

In next blog I will write more about the physical dimension of the pattern that I opened up here.


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

Dag 729 – Opening up the inner conflict

inner-conflict

I am looking at the influence of a spastic colon, on…myself, my life. The question that then comes up within me here is, should it influence who I am? And what do I mean with ‘who I am’?

It does have an influence on how I plan things, on what I eat or not, on when I wake up, on when I leave the house, on how much time I take in the morning to prepare, on what time I go to sleep at night. If I look at this, it is actually determining how I have come to my daily scedule, which is not a ‘bad’ thing, as it is practical and supporting my body in this way, to have a rythm that I have find supportive.

I am still ‘wondering’ how I would live and what I would do and take on for myself if I would not have had this need from my physical body to keep a certain daily rythm and take care for myself in this. Would I then just ask more from my body that is perhaps not best for my body and so myself within? Or would I naturally do this because I feel better with this, because it supports my body better if I keep a certain lifestyle? Or would I just be doing fine with less ‘bounderies’ for myself in this daily scedule? And are it bounderies or are it guidelines?

This is something that I actually have as a question within me, day in and day out, somewhere on the background. So then within this – when I mentioned here that this daily ‘rythm’ is actually quite supportive for my physical body and so for myself within – the thing that is more of an influence on myself and who I am within, within every moment walking with/as myself in this one physical body, in a situation of the existence of a spastic colon – the thing that is more of an influence on me, is this question that is existing within me and that is giving me an experience of ‘not being satisfied’ or a subtile form of conflict within myself, day in and day out.

So writing this out, this is something that I can change within myself, as this inner conflict is not supporting me but more creating a ‘split’ within myself and so I am existing within and as this split deep within me, day in and day out.

It is something that I only by now start writing out, as somewhere I did not want to admit this to myself and even more, I did not want to show this to others as well. But the thing is that if I do not admit it for myself, I still place myself in a position of disempowerment, because that what I do not admit for/to myself and keep silent or suppressed within me, I will not be able to understand for and as myself, I will not ‘forgive’ myself for this as long as I do not understand it and as long as I do not start forgiving it and opening it up, I will not be able to fully understand this part of/as myself. And from not understanding/forgiving myself in this, I will not be able to change anything about it.

It surprises me that I find this so hard to open up, merely because I have seemingly so much investigated this spastic colon in a way and finding ways to physically support myself in it as well as emotionally. So now, it is time to start looking in the deeper dimensions within me and how the mind is interconnected within and as myself in this physical situation of a spastic colon. Which is obviously not the best part of me and as I know by theory and somewhere sensing within me and seeing reflected without me, it is functioning as a ‘hidden nature’ that I have accepted and allowed to channel within and as my mind and then integrated within and as my physical body.

To be continued


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Proces van wereldverandering:
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Uil forgive

Dag 721 – 9. Ignoring some signs within myself

This blog is related to record 9: Ignoring some signs within myself

For context and playlist see: Dag 710 – Reflection on the years of fertility

The self-forgiveness are written as if it is happening in current time, however it are self-forgiveness on a pattern that I am reflecting back on and now taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore some signs within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself space and time to look over all aspects that are involved within the situation of considering an abortion, out of fear that ‘if I don’t do it fast, I don’t do it at all’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to ovestigate all aspects within myself and so, decided to ‘do it fast’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find that I am not allowed to give birth to a child without the father close to me within my life and using this as an excuse to not face and walk through my own experiences of resistance towards another that are actually parts of myself that I resist and fear to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the situation that has developped from a starting-point of self-dishonesty, as an excuse to not be self-honest in the current situation and instead, plan to ‘take out’ the whole situation from the beginning, as some sort of correction and blank slate to start over with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘start over’ with a ‘blank slate’ and do this over and over again, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that ‘a blank slate’ means forgiving myself and from here, living the correction and preventing myself from making the same mistake and this can be done in any situation in any moment, where in it can be forgiven and directed from that point on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to what another is saying to me that is ringing a bell but following my own point of fiew, without listening to myself and the ringing bell within and as myself and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to a part of myself that is seeing some uninvestigated points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to face the hard part and to want things the easy way without facing and walking through my own experiences of resistance and fear and so switching back and forward, searching for ‘the easy way in’ and when it appears not to be easy, searching for ‘the easy way out’.

When and as I see myself searching for an easy way in, I stop and breathe.

I realize that there is no easy way in, not really at the moment because I have build up my mind in ‘difficulties’ and ‘problems’ so to speak that I will face again within and as myself. I realize that I have build up this system for myself within following a (pre)programming that is build in, to not see the simplicity of what it means to live in and as the physical without hidden agenda’s and thoughts and reactions coming up and so, I will face the thoughts, reactions and hidden agenda’s activated in certain situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not able to stand and keep standing within principle while facing difficulties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘I am tired of facing difficulties’.

I commit myself to face my own difficulties, created in/as myself as my mind-patterns and within this, forgive myself for the build up reactions and thoughts and beyond this, look for the one point within that I did not stand in and as somewhere within my life, where in I started reacting to myself in and as self-judgement and from here, see how and with what words I can express myself in this one point and so stand up and stand by and keep standing, with and as myself, no matter what comes up, until it’s done.

When and as I see myself searching for an easy way out, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I have believed the easy way in and so, I did not see the reality of how the mind is build up and then when I see this, I am searching for an easy way out, through projecting my thoughts, believes and reactions on something or someone outside myself.

I commit myself to put a guard for my mouth and to first stop my reactions, to embrace myself firmly within and apply self-forgiveness, until I do understand and see the point that I would like to express and that I stand in and as, as within and as a principle that is best for myself and others involved and I commit myself to gather information that gives me more clarity on a situation so that I from here, can more clearly see what I am reacting in and as and what is actual happening as a point that needs to be directed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame within/as myself, if and when I do express something in reaction.

I commit myself to embrace the shame within myself as this indicates that I see a point within myself that I am ready to transent, as it can only be forgiven and transcended when and as a real shame is experienced, meaning when I really face what I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a belief in reaction.

When and as I see within myself a belief in a variation of ‘if I am not doing it fast, I will not do it at all’, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I participate in a fear of myself forgiving into my mind and that I participate in a lack of self-trust in being able to direct myself in the best way possible and so, to prevent myself from the experience of being lead by fear, I tend to ‘take action directly’. I realize that I also fear to ‘loose’ that what I want and so, I want to take action directly, to try to prevent to loose my point of self-interest because ‘I already have manifested it’. So, I realize that I do not trust that: ‘what I want’ is equal and one as ‘best for all’ and that ‘what is best for all’ is equal and one as ‘what I want’.

I commit myself to keep on remembering within and as myself that the outcome that is best for me, is best for all and that the outcome that is best for all, is best for me and so, it will be best if and when I do investigate all dimensions before manifesting consequenses in physical reality that cannot be undone and I commit myself to keep on remembering within and as myself that an experience of fear or any experience, is not ‘what is best’ or ‘what is not best’, neither for myself or another, although it may feel so real, however the fear is merely creating a polarity within myself that is confusing and so, I commit myself to investigate all dimensions and gather all information that I am able to within a certain situation, before taking action, so that I can align myself within the best way possible; no matter how small and insignificant an event may seem; it all starts within the very small.

I commit myself to live the word patience as investigating all dimensions and gathering all information that I am able to and that I need, to bring forward the best possible approach within and as myself.

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Previous blog: 8. Feeling like ‘going of my path’

Next blog: 10. The fruit isn’t really gone


Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Dag 626 – “Hey, I have changed!”

change-gifI was reading a few old blogs from myself where in I walked a process with the animals. Here I have written pretty much about how I ignored life in a point at a crucial moment and how I did not accept that anymore from/as myself.

Now, more than a year later when reading back, I see that I really walked through this point and changed myself within. I am not deliberately ignoring points anymore by going into my mind. I am not saying that I am aware all the time, that is still a process that I am walking. But I see that within the point of ignorance of my responsibility in a certain moment I have seen what I did wrong, I faced myself within, I have written it out, walked through the experiences coming up within myself, forgiven myself, written the corrective statements and most important, made the absolute decision to change in this point and from here, I changed.

I notice that when I am at a point of really seeing what I have accepted and allowed within myself, facing myself within the unacceptable and understanding what it contains, what system I am participating in, in/as the mind as distraction from myself and within this understanding / forgiving myself – from here the decision is absolute, it is enough and enough is enough and from here, I change in real time, immediately and it is simply not an option anymore to live out  the destructive pattern again. There are moments coming up where I have to push myself through and do things that I ‘do not prefer or like’ and there may be mistakes that I make and need to forgive and correct myself in and deeper dimensions can/will come up to investigate, but it is not an option to not doing it or to even consider to not doing what is needed to be done within this point.

And from here I become more quiet, more satisfied with myself. In this way I build in and as self-trust and from here I can take on the next point, and the next and the next. And this innitiate point is not an issue anymore, it is not a problem anymore but it is something that I decided to live and that I from here, live and integrate in what I live/how I live/who I am.

And this is very cool to notice. Not because ‘it is so cool and wonderful that I have changed‘ but because it is so cool that I have changed within/as this point, which contains that I am not living this destructive pattern/behaviour anymore where in I hurted myself and another as life.

Here I see the effectiveness of walking this process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrections together with walking this application in real time moments and integrating this as a ‘way of living’ as what is best for all in/as life. It are the very painful moments where real shame comes up, where in I face myself and if I dare to look, to see myself, to experience the pain and shame, to forgive and to admit to myself that I did it badly wrong; these moments I have found as the turning-points to immediate, real change that will function as stepping-stones to walk on and to keep on walking and forgiving/changing myself while moving through the challenging times.

Here the words ‘change is possible’ become true as real for/as myself and from here I start ‘believing’ as seeing that change is possible, where it is not an assumed/accepted believe in/as the mind but a living proof in/as myself that I walk and integrate and after several time walking, I notice: ‘hey, I have changed within this point and I am living this change without it being a mountain in my head to look up to’.

So for this, I really recomment Desteni I process and walking this process for yourself together within a group of people as mutual support, as support for and as life to stand up for what is best for all. Which includes everyone and everything.

full_robot-virgins-together-alone

Download this great song, it’s free. Let’s decide and learn to stand together alone.

Read: The Secret to Self-Realisation.

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Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation

Uil forgive

 

Dag 449 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-12 – Schaamte

Dag 438 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-11 – Opgeven

Reactiedimensie (emoties/gevoelens):

machteloosheid, hopeloosheid, verdriet, woede, angst, verbijsterd, verslagen, schrik, stil vallen, redeneren, paniek, walging, onbegrip, opgeven, schaamte

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb schaamte te ervaren naar aanleiding van de gedachte ‘het is zo zelfonoprecht dat ik niet weet waar te beginnen;, waarin ik me schaam voor hetgeen zichtbaar is in het projecteren van mijn gedachte op een ander en in het leven van deze gedachte geprojecteerd op een ander welke feitelijk laat zien dat ikzelf zelfonoprecht ben in dat moment en dus zelfonoprecht leef, gelovende in de rechtvaardigheid van mijn eigen reacties en dus levend in en als de rechtvaardigheid in en als reactie, in plaats van te leven in en als zelf in zelfoprechtheid en mijn reacties in en als mezelf te stoppen.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te schamen voor het feit dat ik vasthoud aan mijn geloof in reacties en dus vasthoud aan de afscheiding als ongelijkheid in en als mezelf welke schade berokkend aan een ander als mezelf.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf als niet bereid te ervaren om deze afscheiding als ongelijkheid op te geven gerelateerd aan een persoon die ik op afstand wil houden als degene die in mijn beleving en interpretatie, gedachten in herhaling op mij projecteert.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een persoon op afstand te willen houden door zelf gedachten te gaan projecteren en hierin een afscheiding als muur te bouwen tussen mij en de ander.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een (eventuele) projectie van een ander als reden te gebruiken om zelf te mogen projecteren en dus als reden te gebruiken voor het in stand houden van mijzelf in zelfzucht.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb een persoonlijkheid op afstand te willen houden en zo mijn eigen persoonlijkheid in stand te houden.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te willen verbergen dat ik een persoonlijkheid op afstand wil houden en mijn eigen persoonlijkheid in stand wil houden aangezien ik weet dat dit niet zelfoprecht en dus ongelijk is en zo ongelijkheid voortbrengt.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb ongelijkheid voort te brengen door een persoonlijkheid op afstand te houden en zo mijn persoonlijkheid in stand te houden.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb gelijkheid in de wereld te willen brengen maar zelf tegelijkertijd, het liefste mijn eigen ongelijkheid als persoonlijkheid in stand te willen houden ter bescherming van mezelf als ‘wie ik ben’ in en als de geest.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf als geestesverschijning in stand te willen houden en dus (nog) niet werkelijk, volledig en fysiek te staan in en als het woord gelijkheid.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb te denken dat het me schaadt als ik deze persoonlijkheid opgeef en de andere persoon toe laat naderen, aangezien het zo voelt en dus wederom, mijn eigen gevoelens en emoties als energetische waarden als leidraad te gebruiken voor wie ik ben, welke mij automatisch in en als de geest doet behouden en doet leven.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb mezelf te doen behouden en leven als een automaat in en als de geest en hier ondertussen wel schaamte voor te ervaren en dit dus te verbergen en dus, mezelf te verstoppen als wie ik ben, bestaande in en als de geest net als ieder ander die leeft en zich verbergt in en als de geest en zo, schaamte in stand te houden en te leven in deze wereld maar door het verbergen ervan, niet tot werkelijke schaamte te komen welke mij brengt tot zelfverandering.

Ik vergeef mezelf dat ik mezelf toegestaan en aanvaard heb schaamte in stand te houden en te leven in deze wereld.

Wordt vervolgd

Gehele blogserie:

Dag 398 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen?

Dag 399 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Triggerpunt

Dag 400 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Gedachtendimensie-zelfvergevingen

Dag 401 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Gedachtendimensie-zelfcorrecties

Dag 402 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Verbeeldingsdimensie

Dag 403 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-1 – Machteloosheid

Dag 409 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-2 – Hopeloosheid en Verdriet

Dag 410 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-3 – Woede

Dag 418 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-4 – Angst en Angstdimensie

Dag 421 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-5 – Verbijstering

Dag 425 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-6 – Verslagen

Dag 426 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-7 – Schrik

Dag 430 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-8 – Stil vallen en Redeneren

Dag 432 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-9 – Paniek

Dag 437 – Wie ben ik aan het verdedigen? – Reactiedimensie-10 – Walging en Onbegrip

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/