Dag 776 – Self-trust and fuzzyness

When is self-trust coming? In the previous blog I wrote about building self-trust within the living of principles.  I mean here especially the living of it and having the certainty within and as myself that I will live by a certain principle.

This mean that I have tested out this principle in physical reality and that I have been stable in this in directing myself towards an outcome that is best for me as life, in and as this physical reality and so, it is best for life in and as this physical reality as a whole. Before I come to this point in area’s that I do not yet have developped a self-direction, I first will find myself for example going into the opposite ‘state’ or direction of what is best for myself and/as life and it is very well possible that I do not even really see that I am doing this because I am already doing it for so long. So this means that I have followed an ineffective mind-programming within and as myself.

But I do notice some ‘fuzzyness’ within myself where in I am not really here and present and I also can learn to see it within the outcome that may be different than what I had my focus on as the best way possible and as my potential and especially when this happens more than once or many times, then I know for myself that I am somewhere not living by a principle that is best for me as best for all. I am walking into a default consequence without even really seeing it as a manifested consequence.

This fuzzyness I find a difficult area, because I actually am not really seeing and aware of what I am living out here in reality or, I do not even see or have learned that it is not ‘what is best’, meaning that there is self-interest involved that I am holding on to without really seeing what I am doing or that I am doing this.

I will apply some self-forgiveness on this ‘fuzzyness’ inside myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sleepy and tired and not wanting to start the day because I am seeing up against what needs to be done that day and/or against a problem I need to find a solution for and develop a self-direction within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disappointed within and as myself about myself and who I am in this fuzzy area in my life, thinking and believing that I did have more clarity and direction than I actually have, according to an outcome or situation playing out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot do anything about it or that I will ‘never make it’ because I am in this fuzzy area and not really seeing clear what needs to be done, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I ‘feel scared’ about what I may find that needs to be done and what I may need to take responsibility for within and as myself and so, I rather keep myself in and as this fuzzy state of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on forehand, create an idea about what ‘taking responsibility’ means or what needs to be done and making this idea bigger and more loaded in and as my mind, than the actual directiveness in and as myself consist of and so, I use this as a distraction and excuse of taking the lead and directiveness within and as myself in what will come forward as what needs to be done in a certain moment in the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to on forehand, have a scenario ready in and as my mind, build on thoughts of ‘what needs to be done and how this needs to be done’, instead of focussing on myself and breathing through the thoughts coming up (and when and as needed, writing out certain thought and emotional patterns to free myself from the energy within a default programming) and practising in and as myself to trust the breathing and me within and focus on what needs to be done physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so powerless and abused within and as myself and stored in my physical body, as if I/myself am ‘burried’ very deep within and having lost my voice and will to speak and express and move myself.

I do realize that this is a process where in I ask myself to change certain deep ingrained programmings that are probably uncomfortable to walk and so I commit myself to support myself unconditionally in what comes up, what mistakes I make, what default I may find and the amount of time and consequences that it has given or will give to from here, push myself to the best of my ability to find my will and voice to express myself and start practising my self-directive principle in daily living situations.

To be continued


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

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Dag 739 – My process with sleeping – back then and now

 

Let’s take a moment to look at some changes that I have walked during the last 6 years in the time that I am walking with others, together in a group named Desteni. It is an individual process from consciousness to awareness, yet it is a process that I cannot walk alone, as I need others who are walking in the same principle, as support and point of cross-reference but also first and foremost, to receive the ungoing ‘information’ that I do not have access to by myself, simply because we each have our own path and specific access to certain area’s. – as for example the information that is given via the Portal that I then can use and investigate for and within myself.

Within this I realize every day that what I am walking now, I would not be able to do in this way without this group. It is like I could see the potential within myself but I was not able to bring it into application and so, it was more an idea of what ‘could be possible’ but where I at the same time, could not comprehend that I really could do it and actually do it.

I will start with a very small example that is practical, visible and open for investigation and application for everyone. This example is….the hours of sleep every night.

Before 2011, I was sleeping about 9 hours each night. For several years, I did not feel so well physically and with this amount of sleeping, I was able to keep myself up and running for the responsibility of taking care of myself and the house and going to work to have an amount of money to live from. At some point in spring 2011, when I already had investigated articles that Desteni is providing, I decided to bring this amount of sleep back to first 7,5 hours. So I stood up early in the morning and allowed myself to have 1 extra cup of coffee (with a maximum of total 3 small cups a day, where before I had 2 each day – here to note that I do well on some coffee, related to my bloodgroup A, however when I drink more than 3 a day, it makes me restless and uncomfortable).

For three days, I felt dull and sleepy. But I just sit through and after a few days, this went away and here, I was able to sleep 7,5 hours each night.

This was the easy step; after this I have been walking several years to bring this back to be able to sleep 6 hours a night, however I still notice that I tend to sleep a little longer, but not longer than 7-7,5 hours. This is interesting already in itself, as it shows that this 9 hours was not needed at all, not even in a period where I did not feel well physically.

In this years after 2011, I felt myself many times ‘struggling’ with this sleep. I experienced the influence when I slept too long, where I find myself ‘too much in my mind’, feeling dull, not able to direct myself and struggling with this waking up moment every morning, where the struggles mostly existed out of self-judgements about this point.

After a few years, I decided to buy an alarm that wakes up with first some ‘daylight’ coming up and then some sounds of nature. This supported me to make it a more ‘organic’ process and here, I actually started to really support and embrace myself in this, instead of keeping on judging myself about things that I was not yet applying.

I also noticed – when I was in South-Africa for a month, living in nature at the farm, together with other members of Desteni – that I could do with 5,5 hours of sleep. A site-note here is that at 21.00 in the evening, I then had difficulty to stay awake during a group-chat for example but as far as I can see, this is something that I could train myself in as well.

What I do notice when I am here in The Netherlands, is that I do naturally wake up after 5,5-6,5 hours sleep and I feel most relaxed when I have 6,5-7 hours in bed so that I do not start ‘worrying’ about not ‘having enough time to sleep’. However I am more flexible, where I sometimes sleep less. I am then tired but still able to do my tasks and then next night, I sleep 6-7 hours again.

I also notice that I still tend to stay in bed longer than my body really needs, however I am not so much making a problem of it anymore and actually waking up every morning between 6.00 and 6.30.

I very rarely tested to sleep a lot also for example during the day, in a moment that I was walking through a difficult point within myself, however here I do notice that I physically and mentally, start feeling more and more dull and slow and ‘waking up’ then really hurts, where it is as if I then first need to push through my mind-systems before I am ‘here’ in my physical and this process is then repeating when falling back to sleep, waking up, going through this painfull experience etc until I stand up again.

From here, my next challenge is to be able to sleep when there is not so much silence around me, while for example sleeping with someone else next to me. The sleeping-process is still something for me to have attention for and find a balance in. I do need a quiet rest every night/most of the nights, to keep myself physically stable and so, there is still some panic coming up if I notice that this may be disturbed, especially if it is for more than one night. After a ‘broken’ night, I do not function so well through the day and I am not so much able to enjoy myself, but then only ‘pushing through the day until I can go to sleep’.

So this sleeping-process, it can be quite something to take on as it has many aspects/dimensions related to it to consider and investigate. However, a 9 hours night-rest, it is not needed, and so is not the 8 hours each night in most cases (where I leave out the specific situations of for example illnesses, extreme heavy physical labour and exhaution, as these can be conditions that need a different and individual approach).

I have lived this proof for myself now for many years and as I have showed in the beginning of this blog; if there is one ‘person’ who was ‘convinced that I need my sleep’, then it was me!

Interesting to already shortly mention that my physical well-being and condition did improve as well through the last 6 years, where I will in time to come, write more about and what I also already did write a lot about in several blogs here. The ‘long sleeping’ was more a way to keep myself surviving, because of a lack of effective tools to support myself within the suppressive effect of my mind consciousness system on my physical well-being. So I did both: bringing back the amount of sleep and bringing in the self-support that I received (and am receiving) via Desteni.

To be continued. Thanks.

Questions and Perspectives: Sleeping (only 4-6 hours required):

(…)

Sleeping is also pre-programmed within and as the mind consciousness system within human beings – when you ‘sleep’ this is when the mind consciousness system ‘regenerates’ and ‘rejuvenates’ itself in preparation for ‘another day’ when you’ll be ‘actively participating’ as a mind consciousness system within this world as the unified consciousness field – thus the mind consciousness system will ‘while you’re asleep’ ‘dig into’ and ‘submerge’ itself into the subconscious and unconscious mind to allocate memory banks, thoughts, past experiences etc. – to merge / rise / install within your conscious mind, so when you participate within your daily ‘life experience’ you’ll have a ‘new fresh set of thoughts / thoughts patterns’ to pre-occupy you with.

Thus – the ‘sleep stages’ are actually where you submerge you within yourself, while your mind submerges you and takes you ‘with it’ from the conscious mind, into the subconscious mind straight through to the unconscious mind – (your deep sleep), see the mind takes you with it, because it cannot exist without you – and the mind can only take you on this journey through the mind stages to rejuvenate and regenerate when you’re ‘asleep’ so you don’t actually know this is really happening.

Thus – ‘sleeping’ is an automated constructed system within and as your mind consciousness system – to ‘keep it going’ – to ‘keep you going’ as a mind consciousness system. Thus – this is where dreaming takes places – dreams were the diversion for human beings to not actually see/experience/un­derstand what really happens when they dream in any way whatsoever. You ‘think’ you’re dreaming – but your mind system is actually taking you on its journey through the mind stages into the unconscious mind – to ‘dig’ and ‘search’ for thought patterns / behaviours / system alignments from the ‘global unconscious as the unified consciousness field’ – to install within you, to ‘implant’ within you – to ‘pre-occupy’ you through another day – and so this continues every evening you sleep – this is the procedure that takes place.

Then when you wake up all ‘groggy’ it’s you together with the mind as the mind – rising up from within the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious – when you’re ‘awake’ – you’re fully / completely within and as the conscious mind.

The reason why the world says 8 – 9 hours sleep – is because the entire procedure takes 8 – 9 hours for full completion – installation and implantation of unconscious mind manifestations to be infused within and as your own mind consciousness system.

Though – what we have done with regards to dreams is the following – instead of you going within and as your own mind journey through the mind stages – we’ve compressed all three mind stages to one singular point within you as you – where we ‘brought together everything and all of you to one singular point within the mind as all three mind stages’. Thus – when you sleep – you don’t submerge anymore – but is placed within this one singular point – where dreams are inserted which assist and support you within the current point placement of yourself within your process – thus – dreams now assist and support you with regards to where you are in your process currently – the ‘point’ of you within yourself.

That’s why we suggest only 4 – 6 hours sleep – this is all you require – because if you sleep longer than this – you’ll move beyond this point placement of you within you and submerge with your mind into the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind – thus you giving your mind the opportunity to regenerate and rejuvenate itself – by installing and implanting manifestation within you from other human beings in this world through the unconscious mind unified field connection / interconnection – and have experiences / reactions within you – that’s not even of you – but believe to be you – then the moment you believe it to be you – you make it your own – and thus so ingrain the reactions/beha­viours within and as your own mind consciousness system.

4 – 6 Hours sleep is sufficient – it’s all your human physical body requires – because then it’s not sleep per say – but resting your human physical body for a moment. It will take some diligence to ‘re-set’ yourself to only sleep 4 – 6 hours a day – though each have the will to do this.

Will do the self forgiveness list as well – though – here for the moment – diligence and discipline to only sleep for 4 – 6 hours maximum.

Also read: Jack – Self-Forgiveness – Sleeping

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Proces van zelfverandering:

http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

 

Dag 377 – The gift of Life by Roos – knowledge and information

Dag 374 – How Every Breath Counts

Dag 375 – The gift of Life by Roos – preference and ignorance

Dag 376 – Ignorance and preference – self-corrective statements

The evening before Roos died, I was participating in knowledge and information. And within this, I was not able to physically see what was going on and what was needed in that moment. I even believed that I was doing the right thing, altough I was not comfortable with and as myself that night. I believed ‘I had to put some lines’  and within this, put her back in her living space and decided to not check on her for one time. Several patterns came up in this, and I was gone, in and as the mind, going to bed. I felt a rush of adrenaline, I woke up 6 times. Oeps now I see, as I have noticed before, when there is coming up this adrenaline, I am doing something and/or want to do/want to say something in and as self-interest, in and as the mind. This time, I didnot even see this as a signal, I assigned it to a work-out lesson that I had that evening. I missed a lot; the mind was pretty much in control.

Afterwards there was no participation in guilt. I have participated in guilt many times, where actually I know that I am doing something in and as self-interest, but I decide to do it anyway with several reasons for it, and afterwards I experience guilt, in where the guilt gives somehow a better feeling again afterwards about doing this. The interviews of the Atlantean about guilt explain this very clearly. In this situations, when this happen, in the moment I am not really clear I am doing things in self-interest, but afterwards I see, oh yes of course, shit, that was not cool at all.

For the second time now since the starting of walking this process, I make a huge mistake within a believe that I was doing the right thing. So afterwards it’s like, wtf, where was I? How could I ever have done/have missed this? I was in knowledge and information. In knowledge and information, it was not such a bad solution to put her back in the space around her hutch, but it was a bad solution, because I look from the perspective of my own mind in and as memories, and place this on the moment in and as life here, and so I miss life here in the moment as myself.  I do not physically see what is going on, what is needed, I am not physically walking with the other being in and as myself, actually I am not here physically, but busy protecting myself in and as the mind in patterns that are triggered……participating in knowledge and information, trying to protect myself in and as these patterns. And so for this one specific moment, it was a bad solution, it was not best at all.

If I stop protecting myself in and as this patterns as memories, I have to see in these whole patterns, how I was in mistake in this my whole life, participating in and as control in the mind, and of course, the mind does not like this, and so, ‘throw up’ a huge protection mechanism, to try to survive in and as these patterns in and as a belief of having done and doing the right thing, and within this, harms life in general, from myself, from everything and everyone, and in this specific case the life of Roos. To become clear on this is the Gift of Life by Roos.

So, this whole pattern is opening up now. Because I can and do not will allow myself anymore to stay in this compromising patterns. It did manifest and manifests in very small things, and I somehow always put it back under the carpet, which was possible because it was so small, so ‘not seen’ and so ignored, by from my perspective, everyone around me where I grew up, and within this I gave the mind space to use this to ignore it myself in a way. Like half seeing it, working with it, and half allowing it as a backdoor. Because, if I decide to not accept and allow myself to compromise myself anymore, the consequence is that…..I stand alone.

And within this, the system and emotion of/as loneliness is showing it’s face.

*

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself in and as knowledge and information in and as the mind, in and as memories or solutions from different situations, which I use now to put on this situation in and as knowledge and information, without seeing physically in and as this situation in and as this specific moment, as what is going on specifically in this moment in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use knowledge and information as a way to protect myself from being here, in and as the physical, in and as a eventual not knowing what to do and how to approach in and as the mind, which gives an experience of uncertainty and maybe even desperation in this, and so to stay out of this experience in and as myself, I use knowledge and information to direct myself, out of the experience in and as the mind and to direct the situation in and as the mind into my own approach of control, which leads to an ignorance of the specifity of life in and as the living moment, in and as breath.

When and as I see myself going into a memory as knowledge and information, to search for a solution to face a specific situation in and as this physical reality, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that I am facing a situation that I donot know how to approach, and that I tend to reach to memories in and as the mind, to keep me out of this experience of ‘new’, of uncertainty, as never have done before.

I commit myself to allow myself to stay in and as a new situation in and as an experience of uncertainty, as only in and as this uncertainty, I will be able to find a new and living approach in and as a support of and as life, and within this, find the solution of life, in and as breath, in and as myself or eventual with the support of another being, to not give up on life anymore just because I don’t know how to do things but instead of this, stay here, breathing through the uncomfortability of the experience of uncertainty, seeing how to walk from here and taking time in and as this moment to be or become specific as aware of what is going on, and investigate and self-forgive in writing and/or out-loud the uncertainty and nervousness that is coming up in this approach inside myself, as I see, realize and understand that I keep myself locked in this pattern if I listen to the energetic experiences inside myself.

File:Uncertainty principle.gif

(Uncertainty Principle – Wikipedia)

Destonian Wiki

For Education and Support click on the links.

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
www.equalmoney.org
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/