Dag 772 – Equality within principle

What is coming forward in this world is how ‘intelligent’ one is for example and how we within this, are feeling ‘better’ or ‘less’ than each other and all kind of gradations and related experiences within this. I was looking at the years now walking and working together with people from the group Desteni, that within living by principle and the application of the tools to support ourself to ‘honour’ the life within each living being and align ourself with this starting-point in thought, word and deed, there is an equality coming with and within this where in ‘intelligence’ is not important and not even so much visible; actually because every one is expressing oneself at best ability at this moment, pushing oneself to live by principle and honour the life within oneself and each other.

The same I have seen within for example an education that I have followed of natural medicine. This took six years and within this six years, I have slowly get to know all the students a little more, where I was more ‘in contact’ with a few and becoming ‘friends’ with them, however in weeks we spend together to practise the natural medicine for example, each of the same class, is coming more closer together and the differences or ‘likes and dislikes’ are slowly moving to the background and the appreciation and respect for each other walking this same path, is coming through, which is a uniting force.

We can ofcourse understand that everyone is made and part of the flesh – meaning we all have a physical body – and so in this we are equal and also every human being has a mind consciousness system so in this, we are all equal in this – common sense. However, in this walking by principle within a group, it becomes really visible how this equality is coming through within the interaction and expression of each one walking alone, yet together.

In this, the principle of ‘equality and oneness’ is becoming visible in what it means in the reality of this life on earth in each of our daily lives. It is like slowly starting to see ‘through’ all the veils of separation and comparison and differences within capacity and ‘intelligence’ and moving self towards this equality, that we all do know and understand in theory, but that has never before become a living reality here on earth.

What is possible in a small group of ‘students’ or ‘co-workers’ or ‘participants’ as I have described here, is possible in a large group as well – large as in ‘humanity as a whole’. But ofcourse, there are many challenges to find solutions for, because the separation that we all experience inside (within our participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings) we have created outside as well and manifested in a system that is based on separation and inequelity as well. So there is much that needs to be taken on and this will take time and some generations to implement. But this doesnot mean that it is impossible, altough it seems like there are ‘too many problems to overcome’.

The question in this for each of us is eventually: do we want to participate? Do we want to be part of the solution and stand and work together in this – coming from a starting-point of equality and oneness, in and as life and merely, are we willing to learn what this actually means and to ‘unlearn’ that what is not effective and supportive anymore for this life to come through in each of us?

Many on earth do not have the possibility and are too much busy with surviving and ‘getting some food on the table’ (where many do not have a table to put the food on), but those who have a computer and who are able to read this, mostly have the opportunity to start investigating who we are in thought, word and deed and how to change and align oneself in this to equality and oneness, to at least start to participate and doing our best to be part of the solution, firstly inside ourself.

Within the Desteni I Process it will become more clear what this process towards ‘Life’ means and what Equality and Oneness means and can mean in our daily life. It is a free course to start with.

Desteni I Process Lite

My Declaration of Principle


 


Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY(Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://basisinkomenpartij.nl/

Uil forgive

Advertenties

Dag 705 – The body-being-mind relationship – Who am I ?

discobal

The question ‘who am I’ was being discussed within group-chats that I participate in and at first, this was a bit vague for me. Meaning, I could not really define who I am and this was actually an important basic-point all the time, like, I could rationally understand ‘who I am’ and perfectly give words to it that I have learned and seen as real and common sense over the last few years. However, this does not mean that I as ‘me’, am really understanding and realizing myself as who I am.

Last week I was at my weekly sport-lesson. Standing half in front of a mirrow, doing the excersises within a group on music, I like this kind of work-out. What I noticed were the self-judgements that were automatically coming up within myself. Small and fast thoughts about how I look – positive as well as negative – and within this, as soon as they come up, I feel and notice how I finally diminish myself and actually define myself within and as these judgements. So here, I define myself as ‘who I am’ within and as self-judgement, so in and as the mind. Which is not a very supportive way to exist.

Moving on with the lesson, a realization came up within and as myself: I know and am sure what I stand for, I stand for and as principled living. I have committed myself to this, I am walking this now for several years, I am sure that this is what I want, what I will do and what I stand for and as and I am sure that I will forgive and correct myself when and as I am not living accordingly to the principles that are considering myself as life as a whole.

I can be and am sure of this, because I have extensively studied and applied this, I have walked and am continues walking this as a process that is needed to move myself from consciousness to awareness (where my awareness is present in and as myself within principled living, considering life as a whole). And here, I realized that this will be my platform of ‘who I am’, it’s my integrity and/as the certainty within and as myself, of my commitment and effort to live within principles that are best for myself (as life) and within this, for and as life as a whole and change myself into this on all the levels that I have separated myself in, as separation from this awareness within and as myself.

While realizing this, the small ‘rembling’ self-judgements disappeared/went silent and I have moved beyond this point within myself. Every time that an uncertainty comes up within myself, I remember myself as who I am within principles living. When I see within myself that self-judgements from another dimension keep on going, I know that these are other patterns that I need to look at, to forgive and correct within myself. However these small, rambling, diminishing self-judgements that are going on and on in my and every one’s mind – you know, the ones where everything is judged within self, a look on my face, a posture, actually my physical appearance and how I express myself in every small detail and then comparing myself to another, as being so self-conscious of every movement within and as my mind without doing anything about it – these are not needed, these do not make any sense at all and are of no support for myself, in and as life.

Within this moment during the sport, my calves became warmer and the circulation towards the calves, became better. A slight pain that did come back within the top of my left calve the few days before, it went away. One step forward towards earthing myself, one step deeper within my own physical body and finding a reference-point for myself that I can use, that I can live as, when and as I see that I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to my physical presence and actually, it is a reference-point for myself when and as I tend to go into diminishing myself with regards to any other aspect. Altough here there may be more self-reflection needed, this who I am within principled living is still a reference-point for myself, in any and every moment.

More points to come, as I do feel more area’s that are cold within my physical that I will move myself towards, when and as I realize myself more and more in who I really am within the potential that I can live by and as.

Would you like to learn more about what principled living entails and how we can all start with this, within and as ourselves? There are lot’s of articles, video’s and lessons to find, free on line. To learn and understand where we come from (see ‘articles’ and ‘video’s’) and with practical solutions of how to move forward (see ‘lessons’ and ‘free on line’). For some basic understanding with regards to the terms ‘consciousness and awareness’, see the 3 links in the written text here above.

waterdrop

The body-being-mind relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

Dag 633 – Migration – Is there a long-term and lasting solution?

migratie

There are many aspects of migration from human beings from one country to another that can be investigated. A situation that most takes place is that in countries where there are more opportunities to build a decent life; people will migrate to these countries from other countries where there is less to none opportunity to build a decent life for oneself and their family.

Within the countries that are more opportunities, many people react more or less to migrants coming in. Here it is already a flag-point for oneself, that if one react to people coming to the country one lives in, there is fear involved as how the reaction is showing. Why fear?

Basicely we fear for ourselves that we do not have enough money (to buy food and water, housing, health-care, education) to live from. Basicely we fear that we physically will not be able to live and if more people are coming in, there is less to divide, as a simple calculation that we have learned at school.

What we did not learn at school is to see into solutions of how to live with limited resources here on earth and how to co-operate within this from a point of what is best for all, which can be applied within the principle of ‘give as you would like to receive’. It is teached to some of us from a religious point, however there are important missing links in the religious teachings of Jesus as how it is brought into this world and so, many turn their back on the basic living principles that are mentioned within but that are not of any count on long term as what is best for all, as long as there is not a total insight in ourselves and the world-system in who we are and how we are living under the influence of the religious illusion of God/The Mind/Self-Interest in relation to Money.

So, we can state here that we have learned what the problem is (limited recources that when devided with more people, one will have less) without being educated to find and apply solutions that are best for all. So we are educated from a point of fear because a problem without solution, gives and/or confirms the experience of fear within ourselves.

Fear is not a good adviser. But we all believe that we have to live from this starting-point of fear because that is how we are educated from a very young age, from birth. And this is how we are controled within ourselves, by ourselves in/as fear and by the money-system that is build from this point of fear, to create friction and conflict that is obviously coming forward when one has to divide limited recources from a point of fear that ‘one has less when things have to be divided with more’ without being teached how to live within equality and oneness, meaning to divide all that we have from a point of co-operation in consideration and support of all live on earth.

We can discuss this very widely, however everyone knows that this is the situation that we are living in at the moment. And it is only getting worse. So we all do see the problem.

From here, when we look into this question: is it a long-term solution that is best for all living beings here on earth, to react to migration and become angry at the ones who try to move to another country because there might be some better circumstances to build a life there? Here we do neither need to discuss the answer widely because here also everyone can answer this very quickly for oneself: no it is not a long term solution that is best for all life here on earth. It is based on fear of having too little and actually based on fear of others (projected on the migrants) taking everything and ‘taking over’, as this is how we have learned what will happen from a starting-point of fear.

Here we come back to the basic-line that we are not well educated from birth of how to live practically on earth with limited recourses in a way that is best for all. We only learned how to ‘get what you can get and/or protect what one has because there is not enough and otherwise others will take it’. Where we know that the ‘others’ are also teached to get what you can get and/or protect what one has because otherwise others will take it. And this is deeply ingrained within ourselves, within and as the mind consciousness system and it is deeply ingrained in how the world-system/money-system is set up.

So yes, we can state that we do have a problem. But that does not mean that there is no solution possible that is long-term and best for all.

The solution is not to be find instantly. As we see how we are educated over years and this for generations long, one can imagine that it also takes years to change this within ourselves and within the world. And the first step in this can be to see in our own reactions of fear towards people coming to your country – ‘your country’ as the country that one is born in/living in’ as it is not ‘your ownership’ that no other has access to. It is a strange thing actually that people have to move from one country to another because it is not livible in the country that one is born/living in. It is unacceptable.

So a solution that is long-term and best for all, will be to make it livible for all inhabitants in every country and to exchange recourses with other countries to come to the best possible basic-needs to create a dignified life for all on earth. Here, again, every one can see in common sense that this is the only long-term and lasting solution that is best for all and that in the end, will stop the fear of ‘not having enough and/or having less than others/others taking over the access to the recourses’. A long term solution will be to give as we would like to receive and this applied by all/most of us.

We do all see this but most do not see how to come to a long-term and lasting solution that is best for all and so we give up before we even start to investigate and apply the very small steps that are needed to eventually, make a change in this world in how we exist. And true, there is so much hold in control within the world-system as how it is set up and from here, accepted and allowed to exist by every human being, that it seems impossible to change. In fact the control of the resources has been taken over long time ago. And from here, it seems better to ‘make the best of it’ with what one have and protect this the best possible way for oneself and ones siblings and some others nearby, under this state of control.

Here I suggest to start with stopping the fear, the resistance, the reactions in oneself and to investigate where these reactions are actually coming from. This is the ‘control’ that one can start investigating, within oneself.  From a starting-point of fear we will not be able to find solutions. There is a part of the fear that is reality-based – as we do live with limited recourses and how the world exists today, we can be sure that we will not receive our ‘equal share’ so to speak. There is also a non-realistic-part and/or a part based on future-projections and “what-if statements” where we only take ourselves in consideration in a lot of things that we actually do not directly need physically but that we do not want to ‘loose’ and share with others. And so here, we are ‘to be feared by others’ because we are not/no longer willing to live as what is best for all and give what we would like to receive ourselves. So self-honest self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-change is definitely needed here.

If we all do what is within our ability in this, within ourselves and/or without in the system, in the positions that we are living in and within the area that we do have an influence on, this will already support with creating a ripple-effect to stand up for a world that does no longer need migration from a point of survival and where eventually, migration can become an expansion and sharing of different cultures where we will be welcomed in another country. Wouldn’t that be a great way to exist, live and share?

piepvandaag-vogels-migratie

Some ways to start investigating how the world-system without and our mind consciousness system within, are set up and actually so much more inter-related than we have ever truly realized:

Desteni I Process (individual process with practical tools to apply to step by step change ourselves into living beings who are willing and able to do what is best for all – including a FREE COURSE online in English and Dutch)

Living Income Guaranteed (possible solutions as transition fase to a world that is best for all)

(One can click on the links in the text to find interviews for self-education)

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Proces van zelfverandering:
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
https://eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
https://nl.gravatar.com/ingridschaefer1
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation

Uil forgive

Dag 611 – Cat Punching – How can we see it as a wake up call?

cat without ear

#CatPunching is not an easy subject to discuss. With cat punching the abuse is so direct and clear, from a human against an animal that has no chance to get away from the physical, horrible pain of being punched on the head while being holded. Most of us humans are strongly reacting to this injustice. It has to stop.

Ofcourse it has to stop. Together with so much other abuse that takes places in this world. Abuse that we do not react to anymore. Which is quite strange actually. The hunger in many countries, the horrible conditions that animals are existing in for the meat-industry from which we buy daily in the supermarket, the wars, the killing in wars, child abuse, the destroyment of the earth; but also the small abusive moments that we accept and allow within our near relationships as manipulation, lying, gossiping, ignoring each other in the small needs and questions and so much more. It is uncountable, the abuse that we participate in on a daily base. And what most of us do not realize – because we have never been educated in this – is that within this emotional reacting inside ourselves,  activated by the pictures of the catpunching that we judge – here what happens is that we generate energy within our own mind and this generating energy is…….. a form of abuse in itself, towards our own physical body.

Everything is so integrated, suppressed and/or ignored in and as abuse towards this physical life that we do not even see what we are accepting and allowing within ourselves, within our own physical bodies and how this is interconnected to what happens outside here on earth. So we can say that we have a huge problem here in this world that needs to be changed, if we do want to stop this abuse FOR GOOD and all as for example the cat punching.

So in this light, we can see the catpunching as a wake up call. It is so direct and horrible that it is clear defined as abuse. But how does it come that the abuse in general exist on such a large scale in this world without us doing something about it? And if we do notice the abuse, then how is it possible that we are seeing ourselves as unable to stop the abuse in this world where from experiencing this emotion of disempowerment and injustice, we start reacting to it?

We need so many new or actually re-definitions of what we accept and allow and what not in this world. Because at the moment there is so much abuse existing – where we can describe abuse as ‘inequality’, meaning the reality of ‘having more than another who has bearly nothing’ and the believe that from having more, we ‘are of more value’ while such a large part of the population in this world, did not have a chance to make a difference with their lives because they are every day forced to fight for their lifes and for something to eat. With regards to the animals, they are not able to speak for themselves in a language that we as humen clearly understand and so again, because we do not hear them, we do not take care of them and because they do not have money, they cannot ‘buy’ their rights so to speak.

Did you ever had such a horrible picture coming up in your head when carrying a very vulnerable, small animal that is totally dependent on you and that can easily be breaked down and from here, there is this one second with a thought coming up – and from here quickly suppressed – that if you punch it there is nothing that the animal can do?

Isn’t it strange that this seconds/moments of thoughts and pictures are coming up within ourselves, even if in daily life we are a very carefull an gentle person? Where does this thought/picture come from? Why do we for example fear to be hitten, raped, robbed by another? Why are this pictures coming up? Because it happens in this world and we are grown up with stories, movies or even experiences where it did happen. However, we never go back to the source and ask ourselves WHY IT DOES HAPPEN AT ALL and why it is coming up in our head when we have never taken part in such situation.

We really have to go back to the source if we want to stop the abuse as inequality in this world. Of course the cat punching needs to stop. It is so obvious, one cannot ignore or deny this and there is no reason thinkable of why it should be allowed.

To stop the abuse on a large scale, we have to be willing to go back to the source and to see straight and direct into this source, because only if we see what the source is, we will be able to eventually change.

The source of abuse does exist from two major pilars that need to be investigated, forgiven and changed:

We as the human race

The moneysystem that we/the human race created and/or allowed to be created

And from here seeing the connection between these two pilars.

It’s cool to start to do something about an activity as cat punching and being motivated to stop this abusive behaviour. From here it is time to see further than our physical eyes will see at first and to take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed in this world as abuse on a larger scale, within and without and from here – instead of abusing this physical existance ‘because we can’ – start taking responsibility as real care for this physical existence, including ourselves and our own physical body.

Why?

Because we can. Because it is the only solution. The human race is the only one wo can decide to make a real change in this world. If we are not willing to do so, we will destroy life and with doing so, we are destroying ourselves. So the cat punching is actually a horrible projection of how we as human beings, choose and/or have choosen to (accept and allow) abuse, within and without while we are often not aware of what we are doing and/or allowing as abuse and what is actually happening.

It’s up to each one of us to decide where we will stand.

We can keep on judging the abuse and/or blaming the ones who do so in a partcular situation, however judging or blaming is not making any difference, it is even enlarging the abusive behaviour because it is generating energy, as reaction within ourselves and as reaction within the abusers. Positive and negative energy are coming from the same source, it is nothing more but a polarity and for generating a positive or negative energy as experience in/as the mind within ourselves, we are ‘abusing’ our own physical bodies because we are using this physical substance to generate energy from which gives the positive or negative experience.  It is based on the same mechanism from where we are (ab)using the earth as the physical substance to ‘create’ money from.

One can say that this is an unbelievable scenario. But what if this is in fact the case and we have missed it all the time, only because we were holding onto our ‘believes’ and so not willing to really see and investigate the source?

What we tend to forget here, is that at one day, the physical substance is burned and consumed and there is nothing left. Unless we stop this abusive behaviour, within and without. This abusive behaviour within and without is what is really hurting ourselves and/as live in general from where we start reacting and judging in/as the mind. Because we do not really want to see and feel this pain that the abuse is bringing forward on a large scale and investigate how we all contribute(d) to this.

So first thing to do, is to stop judging, blaming and reacting and to start investigating the source from the abuse on earth, within and without and the possibilities to bring Equality for All Life Here.

I invite you to investigate:

Desteni I Process (individual process within – practical application inclusive a free Lite course)

Living Income Quaranteed (world process without – a proposal to investigate and contribute to)

History of Mankind (youtube – detailed background information beyond ‘belief’)

Eqafe (self-education in interviews, books and music)

Related articles:

410: Cat Punching Page Removed from Facebook… It Can’t Stop There:

(…) “What I find most interesting about this is, yes, of course, animal abuse is absolutely atrocious, and yes of course, it should in no way be glorified or accepted for that matter, and so such a page should be removed. But to me what is most interesting is that 20,000 people can rally together, and act as a group, using the collect will and force to inflict awareness and demand a change in relation toward a particular point, yet when it comes to things that happen daily, which includes animal abuse, in the Real World, our group efforts cease to exist.”(…)

Day 634 Cat Punching and a Cup-is-a-Cup:

(…) “Obviously, punishing the form is not the solution. Punching a cat is not the solution. It is no different than punching a cup. Punching the physical does nothing to change what has been informed. If we want to blame the system and punch parts of this physical world, nothing is being done to change  the limitations that created the frustration. The only way to correct is to reform what one is as information.”(…)

knuffelende katten
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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/

Dag 411 – Speaking myself through the top of a headache and see further

female symbol

Some days ago I started to see how within the whole condition of my intestines there are related emotions towards an experience of inferiority of myself as a female towards males. It was still vague and very deep located in the body, and I was somehow aware of this always, but is was also always ‘there’ so to speak, so at the same time, I was not really aware of it that one of the dimensions of the tense in my intestine is related to this experience.

I spoke quite a lot of self-forgivenesses through the day and the point started to move, and I also felt it related to the liverfunction, as some kind of emotional suppression within myself which gives my liver a difficult time to do it’s job properly ( in energetic test-results it shows often that the liver need some support in the function of detoxification). However I felt I did not really move through. At night I had a chat with my buddy, and we discussed the point. She gave me some blogs of her where she had written out a similar point some time ago.

Today my period started and I woke up with a slight headache on the background; I have this more often right before and/or at the beginning of the period; even so had my mother, it was actually the only thing that she complained about from what I remember as a child, and when here periods stopped because of the menopause, she has very seldom headaches anymore. This specific headache is started within the muscles on top of my shoulder (muscules trapezius), goes to the occiput-bones, and is also connected to some points within my large intestine where cramps are located. From what I understood from a tradionional chinese medicin practiser and also feel within my own body, is that the points are all located on the liver-meridian.

If I moved slowly and focus on relaxing my shoulders and stopping the thinking every time, the headache was ‘bearable’, and I did my daily tasks in a slow way. I had a chat with Larry and I discussed some of this point with him, and still felt in this how I was not really able to move and express within this point, and actually felt myself sitting back within this experience of inferiority as a female towards a male (which is not an experience that I have particulair towards him, it is more general existing on the background within myself, which gives a sense of ‘control’ in the communication with a male).

So afterwards, I decided to read the blogs that my buddy send me. I read them out loud and in between I added self-forgiveness on the points I saw coming up within me, related to this point. Halfway the speaking of the blogs, the area in and around my intestines became warm, emotions came up, and I could speak myself through the top of the headache while speaking the self-forgiveness. I saw why it was not something that I could write myself easily, as it where points coming up that I had not really lived myself but more points that I was actually ‘holding myself back from’, as it are points that I had seen my mother participating in quite extremely, not so much in angryness as well in a direct giving up on herself on forehand, before even speaking to the male, in and as a starting point of ‘not being listened to’, and vice versa, my father was not an ‘angry’ person at all, but could have a particular stubborn way of expressing and/or actually not expressing. So most of these signs took more place in a ‘not expressing’ rather than in expressing through angryness and other emotional voiced words.

And for myself, I tried to keep myself away as much as possible from this ‘behaviour’ coming forward out of an experience of inferiority and ‘not being listened to’,  where in I do become angry when this experience is triggered, and so in reality keeping this meant that i tried to keep  myself away from a relationship with a male that really had a chance to succeed.

I will keep on investigating this point as this is only opening up, and share some more about it if and when a point comes up that I need to write out more specificly. So far this is a moment of witnessing for myself of how to speak myself through (the top of) a physical point with the speaking and reading out load of self-forgiveness which gives relieve of the physical pain/discomfort and support to let go the stored emotional energetic experience that gives the pain and discomfort. it is also a witnesssing of how blogs from others can assist and support in walking through points inside ourselves within sounding the self-forgiveness out loud for and within ourselves, even though the words might be slightly ‘personally different’ placed; the construct is basicly the same as a construct of the experience of female-inferiority against male-superiority which is widely lived, played out, constructed and build up within and as the mind-consciousness-system within and so in and as this world-system without.

Related blogs that I read out load:

Who I am in Relation to MEN as Patriarchs: DAY 130

Why Women Use Emotional Manipulation: DAY 131

Why Women become Submissive in Discussions with Males: DAY 132

Some self-forgiveness on the most prominent points coming up within and as my own memories related to this point:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so powerless when and as I see my mother going into in what I perceive as a submissive attitude before she even started to speak about something with my father, and within this, starting to reject my mother in and as this behaviour, as I did not want to have something to do with what I saw and felt so powerless in, and so trying in and as rejecting, to keep myself away from this submission towards the male, in and as a belief that if I keep myself seperated from it, it could not really effect me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel really compassion for my mother in and this behaviour as what I saw as so hopeless unable to express herself and stand up, which is a feeling that I did not allow myself to really feel and stand up in, because I myself did not know how to express myself and stand up, and so, I rejected her and within this, seperated myself from this experience of hopelessness and desperation in and as belief in the incapability of expressing self and standing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and so perceive myself as incapable of really directing myself in and as self-expression, while at the same time, I know and am aware of my capability to stand up in this, which gives and has given a friction and conflict within myself for so long, seperated in a vision of myself which is not compatible with how I am living myself within reality every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopelessly sad and suppressed when I see my father as what I perceive as ‘stuck within himself, not being able to express himself’, while I see as what I interpreted as the friction, stuckness and disempowerment on his face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stuck inside myself when and as I am not able to express myself looking at my father, which gives an experience of friction, stuckness and disempowerment within myself from which I believe I am not allowed to stand up in, because when I do stand up in this, I leave my father alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for the experience that I perceived within my father but actually was experiencing within myself, of feeling stuck, frictioned and disempowered.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to freeze inside whenever I hear the subtile manipulations and little nasty tonations and words between my parents which are build up inside and so find a way out, because of this incapability of open and frank self-expression with each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel deeply and endless sad because of an experience of being caught within this pattern between my parents, feeling unable to change anything within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wanted so badly that my parents had a ‘happy and open’ marriage and if this was not possible, that they then better could have a divorce so that this pattern could be broken through and that I did no longer need to sit in between.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a divorce as the only option as solution for the problem to open up the situation in and as communication, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived myself the ‘solution of leaving a relationship’ as the only way that I saw to solve the problem as opening up the situation, experienceing myself as unable to stay and open up myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘I am better of alone’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself caught in between my parents where in it even looks like that I enlarge the pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I enlarge the pattern between my parents, and within this, make myself, in and as this believe, responsible for their incapability to communicate effectively together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make and feel myself responsible for what I see as their incapability to communicate effectively with each other, but when I asked my mother sometimes about it, she denied everything and said she had no problems at all with it, while at the same, in the rare moments that my father expressed himself openly in his dissatisfaction and disappointment about things in his life, first thing that my mother said was ‘don’t be so negative’, and so, the communication was suppressed immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the communication with my mother by acting like ‘I am fine’ and by not really listening and or waving away her expression when she did express her dissatisfaction about little things in her life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to touch my fathers protectionmechanism as for me it feels like so much accumulation that it is almost imbearable and so, I should tiptoe around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I perceive as the imbearable load of what my father is suppressing inside himself as emotions and feelings and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself the imbearable load of what I am suppressing inside myself as emotions and feelings, instead of seeing, realising, and understanding how only the suppressing and accumulation makes it unbearable as being ‘too much’, while walking it through one by one, it becomes something that I am able to do and actually that everyone is/will be able to do if the tools of how to do this are provided.

*

Next day my shoulders and neck feel like ‘having more space’ to move around, the headache is still gone, and also the few hours of menstruationpain in the belly that I often have at start, did not come up this month. The tension and delay in the large intestine is still here although there is a layer on top opening up a bit, which is a point I will keep on investigating for and within myself, layer after layer.

After finishing this blog, a very intense cramping pain is coming up inside my intestine, so I lay down on the floor, push soft but constant on the pain-point, hold my legs against me to come deeper within my body and start investigating and applying self-forgiveness untill the cramp relieves, push through when the pain is unbearable, push and stay, push and stay, not giving up this time, because as Bernard says, when you cannot have it anymore, you have to push through, and so I do, it must be here, if there is a pain, there is something suppressed; until I see something of myself as who I am and within this, the cramping gives in, starts moving and releasing:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a moment of revenge (from with I do not have a direct memory, I can only see the direction within the experience which is from a very young age) choose between my father and mother, and within this, play them out against each other in and as my mind,  where in I try to hold on to my father and push anway my mother, but my father is gone, he is not here and because I have already choosen, I cannot go back, and so I have to protect myself in and as this ‘choice between’, caught within polarity in and as the mind, welcome to the evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have made ‘the wrong choice’, where in I perceive, think and believe that I cannot go back, I don’t know how to go back, and so I keep on following this pattern my whole life, playing it out within relationships where in I every time again ‘choose’ for the male who is unavailable, ‘not here’ and leave the male who is staying next to me no matter what, where in I end up alone and within this creating an experience of eternal sadness – which I know now, is generating energy within myself – and for a long time blaming my mother for the whole set up within myself, because she is the only one that is still here and involved in it within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel regret to not really see how my mother was always standing with me – with her ‘faults’ of course but she was here – because I turned away from her, looking for the one that was missing, believing that he must be somewhere, I felt ‘this love’ inside, I know ‘he loves me’, so where is he?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand where he is and why he is not coming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not finding him, for pushing him/my father away, and so she has to ‘pay for it’, and so I push her away, even so as I blamed her for doing this – an eye for an eye – within and as my perceive and believe that she ‘did this to me’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand and believe that I did this to me, to my father and my mother in and as my mind; that I trapped myself within this fall, the fall of the mind in and as an eternal revenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my breath away in and as a moment of scare within myself for myself as who I am in and as revenge, in and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn to my father in an undefined moment with my mother that I felt threathened by her, but he is not here, I cannot find him and so I have nowhere to go but to go into my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive and believe that leaving brings a solution as safety, instead of seeing, realising and understanding, that within leaving, going into and as the mind, I make myself vulnerable for every manipulation in, as and of the mind and ‘loose my safety’ as being here, equal and one with and as the physical at the moment that I choose to leave where at the same time, from now on I need to ‘protect’ myself as who I am in and as this decision of leaving as what is not best for all, so I need to ‘keep on leaving’ to keep the pattern alive as protectionmechanism from seeing myself in the face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in and as the experience of fear of lost, because I choose to leave and lost myself within this in and as the physical within this one moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forgive my father on forehand for everything and to blame my mother on forehand for everything and within this, giving my self-directivess away, creating separation and conflict within and without myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep looking for love outside myself that I perceived I lost once while searching for my father ‘to protect me’, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that it was an experience inside myself, reflecting with and as my father, and so looking outside myself is only seperating myself in and as projection on another human being, even if it happens as a very young child with my father, the principle is the same.

I commit myself to forgive myself the layers upon layers that I created within myself after taking my breath away, and correct myself evenso in and as stopping the revenge in the moment when it comes up, perhaps suppressed in and as a physical pain, investigating and forgiving it specific, until and where in I, slowly but surely, stand up, equal to who I am as the mind, to enable myself to become equal to and one with and as life in and as the physical as what is best for all as life.

I commit myself to stop leaving, to stay here and sort out myself.

To be continued within myself as the pain is moving and opening up a little.

Thank you.

Veno – Self Forgiveness – Male Ego

Veno – Self Forgiveness – Female Ego

enjoying the day

Desteni-I-Process-Lite

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Dag 377 – The gift of Life by Roos – knowledge and information

Dag 374 – How Every Breath Counts

Dag 375 – The gift of Life by Roos – preference and ignorance

Dag 376 – Ignorance and preference – self-corrective statements

The evening before Roos died, I was participating in knowledge and information. And within this, I was not able to physically see what was going on and what was needed in that moment. I even believed that I was doing the right thing, altough I was not comfortable with and as myself that night. I believed ‘I had to put some lines’  and within this, put her back in her living space and decided to not check on her for one time. Several patterns came up in this, and I was gone, in and as the mind, going to bed. I felt a rush of adrenaline, I woke up 6 times. Oeps now I see, as I have noticed before, when there is coming up this adrenaline, I am doing something and/or want to do/want to say something in and as self-interest, in and as the mind. This time, I didnot even see this as a signal, I assigned it to a work-out lesson that I had that evening. I missed a lot; the mind was pretty much in control.

Afterwards there was no participation in guilt. I have participated in guilt many times, where actually I know that I am doing something in and as self-interest, but I decide to do it anyway with several reasons for it, and afterwards I experience guilt, in where the guilt gives somehow a better feeling again afterwards about doing this. The interviews of the Atlantean about guilt explain this very clearly. In this situations, when this happen, in the moment I am not really clear I am doing things in self-interest, but afterwards I see, oh yes of course, shit, that was not cool at all.

For the second time now since the starting of walking this process, I make a huge mistake within a believe that I was doing the right thing. So afterwards it’s like, wtf, where was I? How could I ever have done/have missed this? I was in knowledge and information. In knowledge and information, it was not such a bad solution to put her back in the space around her hutch, but it was a bad solution, because I look from the perspective of my own mind in and as memories, and place this on the moment in and as life here, and so I miss life here in the moment as myself.  I do not physically see what is going on, what is needed, I am not physically walking with the other being in and as myself, actually I am not here physically, but busy protecting myself in and as the mind in patterns that are triggered……participating in knowledge and information, trying to protect myself in and as these patterns. And so for this one specific moment, it was a bad solution, it was not best at all.

If I stop protecting myself in and as this patterns as memories, I have to see in these whole patterns, how I was in mistake in this my whole life, participating in and as control in the mind, and of course, the mind does not like this, and so, ‘throw up’ a huge protection mechanism, to try to survive in and as these patterns in and as a belief of having done and doing the right thing, and within this, harms life in general, from myself, from everything and everyone, and in this specific case the life of Roos. To become clear on this is the Gift of Life by Roos.

So, this whole pattern is opening up now. Because I can and do not will allow myself anymore to stay in this compromising patterns. It did manifest and manifests in very small things, and I somehow always put it back under the carpet, which was possible because it was so small, so ‘not seen’ and so ignored, by from my perspective, everyone around me where I grew up, and within this I gave the mind space to use this to ignore it myself in a way. Like half seeing it, working with it, and half allowing it as a backdoor. Because, if I decide to not accept and allow myself to compromise myself anymore, the consequence is that…..I stand alone.

And within this, the system and emotion of/as loneliness is showing it’s face.

*

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself in and as knowledge and information in and as the mind, in and as memories or solutions from different situations, which I use now to put on this situation in and as knowledge and information, without seeing physically in and as this situation in and as this specific moment, as what is going on specifically in this moment in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use knowledge and information as a way to protect myself from being here, in and as the physical, in and as a eventual not knowing what to do and how to approach in and as the mind, which gives an experience of uncertainty and maybe even desperation in this, and so to stay out of this experience in and as myself, I use knowledge and information to direct myself, out of the experience in and as the mind and to direct the situation in and as the mind into my own approach of control, which leads to an ignorance of the specifity of life in and as the living moment, in and as breath.

When and as I see myself going into a memory as knowledge and information, to search for a solution to face a specific situation in and as this physical reality, I stop, I breathe.

I realize that I am facing a situation that I donot know how to approach, and that I tend to reach to memories in and as the mind, to keep me out of this experience of ‘new’, of uncertainty, as never have done before.

I commit myself to allow myself to stay in and as a new situation in and as an experience of uncertainty, as only in and as this uncertainty, I will be able to find a new and living approach in and as a support of and as life, and within this, find the solution of life, in and as breath, in and as myself or eventual with the support of another being, to not give up on life anymore just because I don’t know how to do things but instead of this, stay here, breathing through the uncomfortability of the experience of uncertainty, seeing how to walk from here and taking time in and as this moment to be or become specific as aware of what is going on, and investigate and self-forgive in writing and/or out-loud the uncertainty and nervousness that is coming up in this approach inside myself, as I see, realize and understand that I keep myself locked in this pattern if I listen to the energetic experiences inside myself.

File:Uncertainty principle.gif

(Uncertainty Principle – Wikipedia)

Destonian Wiki

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
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Equal Life Foundation:
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Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/