Dag 731 – Self-honesty, self and relationships

self-honesty

Continuing on previous blog.

For more than 6 years now, I am actively walking a process where in it is a core-point for me to transcent the ‘dependency’ within partnership. Through my life, I have had several partners and a pattern existing within this of starting and stopping. I could not find a way to keep my individuality and at the same time, be/become intimate in my sharing with another. I was not able to stand alone within partnership.

Now, what then does this mean? To stand alone? I learned how to stand alone when being/living alone, without a partner but then within this there is a tendency to search for a partner and when there is a partner, I often lived in a fear of loss or, the partner was existing in this pattern. All because, so I found out, the starting-point was not clearly cross-referenced within both: no discussions about what both want and/or are able to within a partnership and how to create this and how to give and how to support and what means love etc. So the starting-point was basicely still based on preferences and convenience, without really being self-honest to myself and to another about who I am and what I stand for.

This coming forward out of a ‘fear of loss’, as well when the relationship started but also on forehand, like not believing that any man that I like and who likes me and within the practical possibilities, would be willing to live with me and at the same time taking responsibility for oneself. So it is like a compromising on forehand, like, okay better live with someone halfway than living alone all my life (where this ‘all my life’ is what is showing this disbelief and fear ‘that I will never find a partner who is willing to stand with me when and as I am standing within a starting-point of self-honesty’).

But, here under, is hiding my own convenience. Of not willing, mixed with a ‘not knowing how’ to support another and push the principles where in another is given the opportunity to live accordingly to principles that are best for both (and from here, best for all) and expand as well. Not knowing how because I have never done this before or never had an example and so, it is all new to learn and develop. But what I actually mostly see is a convenience within myself about not willing to change and do the hard and dirty work, of step by step walking through all the shit that is coming up and directing myself and the situation in this. And here in I see, I am existing in judgement.

From not standing within and as my self-honesty of what I am accepting and allowing within myself and from here, tolerating within a relationship, I am existing in judgement, which leads to a fear of loss. Because I placed this partnership in the place of my self-honesty and from here, the separation from and within myself is existing and so I make myself dependent on the partner and on the partnership and on the physical intimicy. Within this I am existing in judgement all the time, I am hiding, I keep distance and push the other away (in fear as judgement) as a reflection of how I am in disagreement with and as myself and fear/judge myself for this, as long as I am not self-honestly facing this.

For 6-7 years I am looking at the theory of what it means to stand alone and live in/as self, as in not ‘missing another’ (as a reflection of missing myself)  where in I now see that the word ‘self-honesty’ is giving so much more clarity in this, as this is what I can define for myself. This is an active process that I have walked and am still walking and this is what I recently found within myself (hidden deep within myself) where in I kept my ‘preference’ at first place and secondly I tried to align my self-honesty with this, where I had to turn this around and place my self-honesty first and foremost and from here, look at how to align my preferences to this, if and when possible in a practical and considering way. Thus this means that I have to make peace with the possibility (or call it ‘risk’) that I have to let go of some of my preferences if I find that I am not able to live with it, practical, physical and according to my integrity.

This is an example of how we trade places in and as the mind and how we place our preferences above our self-honesty and from here, we make ourselves dependent on these preferences that we need to fulfill with something or someone outside ourselves. It can be anything: money, sex, love, food, drugs, alcohol, gaming, traveling, shopping, sleeping, watching tv and all variations within this.

We know in theory that we do this, we all know it somehow, however really seeing it within ourselves and understanding how we have exactly created this, is a whole other story, even from the point where we make the decision to change this within ourselves. For this, we need to walk what we call ‘a process’ through time.

It is possible that we have integrated this self-dishonesty in our physical body; in this case walking out of it, means to walk a physical process, through physical manifested consequences within our own body, as for example in my case, the consequence of a spastic colon.

To be continued


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Dag 729 – Opening up the inner conflict

inner-conflict

I am looking at the influence of a spastic colon, on…myself, my life. The question that then comes up within me here is, should it influence who I am? And what do I mean with ‘who I am’?

It does have an influence on how I plan things, on what I eat or not, on when I wake up, on when I leave the house, on how much time I take in the morning to prepare, on what time I go to sleep at night. If I look at this, it is actually determining how I have come to my daily scedule, which is not a ‘bad’ thing, as it is practical and supporting my body in this way, to have a rythm that I have find supportive.

I am still ‘wondering’ how I would live and what I would do and take on for myself if I would not have had this need from my physical body to keep a certain daily rythm and take care for myself in this. Would I then just ask more from my body that is perhaps not best for my body and so myself within? Or would I naturally do this because I feel better with this, because it supports my body better if I keep a certain lifestyle? Or would I just be doing fine with less ‘bounderies’ for myself in this daily scedule? And are it bounderies or are it guidelines?

This is something that I actually have as a question within me, day in and day out, somewhere on the background. So then within this – when I mentioned here that this daily ‘rythm’ is actually quite supportive for my physical body and so for myself within – the thing that is more of an influence on myself and who I am within, within every moment walking with/as myself in this one physical body, in a situation of the existence of a spastic colon – the thing that is more of an influence on me, is this question that is existing within me and that is giving me an experience of ‘not being satisfied’ or a subtile form of conflict within myself, day in and day out.

So writing this out, this is something that I can change within myself, as this inner conflict is not supporting me but more creating a ‘split’ within myself and so I am existing within and as this split deep within me, day in and day out.

It is something that I only by now start writing out, as somewhere I did not want to admit this to myself and even more, I did not want to show this to others as well. But the thing is that if I do not admit it for myself, I still place myself in a position of disempowerment, because that what I do not admit for/to myself and keep silent or suppressed within me, I will not be able to understand for and as myself, I will not ‘forgive’ myself for this as long as I do not understand it and as long as I do not start forgiving it and opening it up, I will not be able to fully understand this part of/as myself. And from not understanding/forgiving myself in this, I will not be able to change anything about it.

It surprises me that I find this so hard to open up, merely because I have seemingly so much investigated this spastic colon in a way and finding ways to physically support myself in it as well as emotionally. So now, it is time to start looking in the deeper dimensions within me and how the mind is interconnected within and as myself in this physical situation of a spastic colon. Which is obviously not the best part of me and as I know by theory and somewhere sensing within me and seeing reflected without me, it is functioning as a ‘hidden nature’ that I have accepted and allowed to channel within and as my mind and then integrated within and as my physical body.

To be continued


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Dag 700 – The body-being-mind relationship – Embracing the physical as point of support

Quote compromising

Through my life since a long time, my large intestine has functioned as my ‘guardian’ in a way. What I mean, is that I could not go too much or too long beyond my ‘limits’ as my intestine would then give symptoms of obstipation/spasmen more than normal. I felt uncomfortable in that and merely noticed it like ‘okay I have to stop here and stay with myself again’.

For example, within my last relationship, I tend to compromise myself, coming forward out of an ‘understanding what another goes through’ and me adapting to this and then trying to via this way, eventually bringing in what I stand for in principle so that I did not have to go through an experience of loosing the other. Deep within me this compromising was very subtile noticable but because I was in the middle and involved within the situation, I actually had very quick suppressed it and not even given it an chance to investigate within myself, if I actually and really would move on in this way. There was a vulnerable ‘building of trust’ happening between the two of us but not from a starting-point of openess and self-honest communication from both sides and because of not wanting to ‘break’ this subtile trust,  I was accepting and allowing things that I ‘normally’ would not consider to accept/allow and certainly not from myself as behaviour. But from moment to moment and every time a step further, I did accept/allow it from another, longer than I had expected from myself. It wasn’t a ‘bad thing’ persé as within this I did everything that was within my reach to make it work, however there did come a moment that I needed to take a stand.

This moment, became visible for me through the weakening of my bowel-function. What I did notice during that periond and what moved me to open up things, was the change within my large intestine. The functioning of my bowel slowly weakened again, up to this point where it clearly showed a compromised physical functioning. This physical dysfunctioning of my bowel-movement, is the one thing through my life that I could not accept from myself. Merely because there is not a direct physical cause for it as I have widely investigated (and physically supported) myself/my body through all the years. So also here, it was a sign for me to re-assess my decision and look what was actually going on within myself and the relationship I was in.

I have often ‘cursed’ this dysfunctioning from my large intestine as in my experience, I have so often felt limited by the dysfunctioning (spastic colon with obstipation and dyscomfort/dysfunctioning coming forward out of this on a long term). I knew that it was related to my own ‘dysfunctioning’ with regards to being unable to direct myself effectively within thoughts, emotions, feelings and expressing myself from a clear starting-point, however I automatically projected the blame on my physical/intestine, although I self-honestly knew better. But I kept blaming, out of an experience of being unable to really change it by changing myself within.

Though, through all the years, I also have seen how the symptoms from my large intestine were – and still are – ‘protecting’ me, to bring myself back here and look where I compromise myself in my expression. I often think, “oh, why can I not do it ‘by myself’ without creating these physical consequenses again and again within my own body. I should be aware enough by now to stop doing this”. However what I do see more and more clearly, is how this is a stand from a point of superiority, so from a mind-perspective from/within myself, as if I would and should already be able to stand without compromising myself and my physical body. Because, the whole mind-consciousness system is consisting as a compromising implemented and integrated system, within and without –  so actually, we have existed and only ‘know how to exist’, in a compromising way towards life/the physical (as how my own physical body is showing me through all these years) – and it is really a process to walk through all dimensions and layers that I created within/as myself, to come to a way of living in consideration of life/the physical/myself as being within.

So it is actually because of my physical body and it’s specific set up of the mind-structures within, that I am here where I am now walking, as I in/as the mind, has wished many times to be able to ‘do it different’ in which I perhaps or probably – I actually do not know – would not so much have supported myself to do what is best for myself as life within/as the physical. I did this and I have learned this because my physical was asking for it.

What I can trust within myself – as what I have proven to myself while walking – is the awareness within this all, as me within who is listening to my physical body and the direction within me to find the necessary ways to support myself and my physical body and to keep on pushing this point for as long as it takes and until it is done. And from here and while walking, being able to stand as point of support for others within the capacity I have.

I can say this now because I slowly make some progress in directing myself and slowly build some self-trust in this physical situation, walking with myself, instead of fighting against myself.

There is a very cool interview where in I recognize as how I do not actually know who I am within a specific situation unless I am/have walked it in reality, as I often think and believe from a mind-perspective that ‘I would do much better/I would be much stronger’ than I actually am in real time/in self-honesty. And by accessing this point in self-honesty, so through and within embracing my own weaknesses and approaching it from a starting-point of self-honesty, I see how I can slowly become more stable and stronger within. Then from here it is interesting to realize and investigate how this then probably also exist as a polarity within myself, so thinking and believing that ‘I would do less better/I would be less stronger’ than I actually am in real time/in self-honesty.

the art of compromising

The body-being-mind relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.


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Uil forgive

Dag 675 – The mind-body relationship – Heaviness

heaviness Andrew.jpg

(Art by Andrew Gable)

There started a serie interviews through the Portal within the series of The Atlanteans about Heaviness and also in a chat in the physical health group of Desteni, the experience of heaviness is mentioned by several participants in having an influence on the physical condition. For myself as well I see the experience of heaviness related to physical conditions and here I decided to start to open this up within writing.

I do not have a clear overview from how this experience of heaviness is related to my physical condition so I start with the things that I do see, I start with what is here.

Problem:

What I do notice is that when my body and especially my large intestine is not having an optimum movement, I experience myself within my body as very heavy and almost not able to move myself. Each step is an effort and I prefer laying down instead of standing or walking and breathing is more difficult. Which is not so when I feel physically ‘good’, I then enjoy standing, walking, breathing.

I see here how this is already a consequence of what has happened before within my mind, that I did not effectively direct within and as myself but more suppressed it and so, I actually make my body literally heavy by suppressing the emotional energy, putting it on my body and in this case, on my large intestine where I store the energy. This I experience as a ‘cramp’ in the muscle fiber of the large intestine, well this is how I see it this far. Then when there is bowel-movement, it passes this area, this cramped muscle fiber where the energy is stored; the movement pushes the waste through this narrowed area which gives experiences of physical pain (because the passage is too narrow for a comfortable bowel-movement in several places at such moment) and also, each time the waste is passing this area, it ‘touches’ the emotional energy that is stored there.

Here I tend to not want to move physically to prevent myself from experiencing the physical pain/discomfort and emotional energy stored within my body and so the ‘delay’ enlarges and eventually, becomes worse. This is giving an overal experience of heaviness on a physical level that eventually gives an experience of dullness and ‘sleepiness’ in/as the mind. When I then sleep more than physically needed, I suppress myself/my beingness within/as the mind and so, it becomes more difficult for myself to access the suppressed emotions. It is suppressed within my body and ‘hidden behind’ the mind-body defense mechanism.

Actually the whole body is interconnected so if this situation stays too long, it will influence other body-functions as well. In this way it becomes a circle in itself which needs to be accessed to create some movement somewhere to be able to open up the mind-related points and suppressed emotions. It needs a constant pushing through to not stay in this physical heavy experiences, that in itself can create a fear again and a ‘constant moving out of fear’ that then in itself contributes to the constriction on a physical level.

In the next blog I will start with some self-forgiveness on the overal experience of heaviness to release the emotional energy as how is suggested in this interview to start with as part of the solution. Here in I will also start to investigate the suppresion of emotions as negative energetic experiences stored in the body and the polarity with the feelings as positive energetic experiences in/as the mind.

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Related blog about my physical body and the interconnection with my mind and being:

Dag 672 – My mind-being-body awareness speaking

body-organs

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

————————————————————————

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Uil forgive

 

 

 

Dag 640 – The mind-body relationship – The relationship with my intestine

healthy relationship

In my buddy-chat the point opened up of redefining my relationship with my intestine. I find this not so easy but during chat some points came forwards as an opening to start looking in this. I start here with some self-forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it is wrong that my intestines are a point of cross-reference for myself of where and in what extent actually, I have separated myself from myself and my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I did it all wrong because I have developped/manifested/lived patterns within my intestine where others did not have that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it unfair because there are patterns involved that are passed from generation to generation that are not ‘mine’ from source, however I made them ‘mine’ because I have accepted and allowed them to manifest within myself and lived and manifested and/or integrated them more physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe, expect myself to be able to completely walk through this manifested mind-patterns through my life time and life times before, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will not know and be sure about me walking through within the ‘finish’ of the intestine-issues being solved completely on a physical level as I do not know to what extend and how deeply it is manifested, however I do see a possibility of getting it better and better and so I walk on and through as what is best and until it is done, although I might not ‘get it done’ in this physical body in the way that I expect this to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I know the reason why I have to walk through this as thinking and believing that I will solve the manifested physical discomforts, while actually yes there may be a reason for me to walk through all this (without making it ‘spiritually’ as ‘more’ in/as the mind) but it might be different then what I think the reason is because I do not yet see the reason behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it does not make sense to walk through this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it does not make sense what I do and here, I am making myself less than who I am/can be in/as live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to make sense of what I walk through, this to not fall into an experience of hopelessness and uselessness as ‘never getting through’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will never get through and so, try to make sense of the intestinal discomforts and difficulties as ‘finding reasons for it’ to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find reasons for my intestine to manifest difficulties and discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and fight against defining myself as someone who is having/living with a chronical, physical discomfort as a spastic colon with very uncomfortable symptoms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really want to see how deeply physically I have accepted and allowed the thoughts, feelings and emotions to manifest, in and as a fear that if I name myself as someone who has to live with this, I will never come out/come through because I am then in/as a self-definition as physically not alright.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who is physically not alright while I do not know myself like this from birth/childhood and I do see an accumulated pattern in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still define myself as someone who is physically alright and strong while I do not feel myself like that physically when and as my intestine is having difficulties to release from the physical waste.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do see the relationship between the mind and the physical and so, I do expect the physical to be solved at once because I do see it interrelated, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have build up patterns within and as myself over time and so it will take time to walk through where I will come to unexplored area’s to explore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that after walking through my own patterns, I have to walk through the patterns that are past through generations, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that walking through ‘my own’ patterns is walking through the patterns past by generation as I made them my own and so, taking responsibility for and as myself in thought, feelings and emotions is taking responsibility for the generation-line in and as the patterns that I have accepted and allowed to live and manifest myself and only this is my responsibility and that what I did not accept and allow to live and manifest and others did, is the other as ‘the owner of the manifestation’ to take responsibility for, as how it is for myself and everyone to take responsibility for our own mind and acceptances and allowances within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than others who do not have physical difficulties/did not manifested them the way I did, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – without comparing myself to others and their process as this is not best for anyone but as a point of self-support – that the quicker I get sick, my possibility of change is quicker.

To be continued

(…) So everything has got Stages of Deliberation. That means, dependency on how much you are Feeding it Energy and obviously in a way when you are Sick it already means you’re at a Point of Change. When you are not Sick and you are Deliberate in your Actions- then you must know: you‘re in Serious Trouble because that means you are very Deceptive, therefore the body will present itself as quite Healthy, and by the Time that you will get Sick, there will be Nothing you can do, because you are very Deceptive and therefore it’ll take a Longer time to Get Sick. The Quicker you get Sick- the Better it means it is for you, because your Possibility of Change is Quicker. The Longer it takes you to get Sick that means, the more Healthy you are, the more Deceptive you are. If you are living in this World, you have a lot of Money, you are very Healthy, very Happy – Big Shit in your Future. (…)

From: Interviews from the farm 60: Candida and Self Abuse

 

Self-care-1

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Proces van zelfverandering:
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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY (Ook in het Nederlands!)

Zelfeducatie free:
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www.desteni.org
De Kronieken van Jezus

Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
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7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/326696524041028/

The Secret to Self-Realisation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-311-secret-to-self-realisation.html

Proces van wereldverandering:
http://bigpolitiek.blogspot.nl/
http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal
Facebook:
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Uil forgive

 

 

 

 

 

Dag 607 – The mind-body relationship – When will I succeed?

wortel voorhouden

Last week I was hosting a Google Hangout about the subject Breathing and The Body. Afterwards we noticed that it were actually two subjects that we discussed in one hangout that became longer than the time I planned to stay within. However for the rest we were all three (Maite, Martijn and I) satisfied about the content and discussions.

Before starting about the body, Maite suggested to keep an eye on how I placed the relationship between physical symptoms and walking process, to not put it as ‘walking process to solve physical problems/symptoms/complains’ but more focus on how the physical symptoms can function as a guide within who I am in relationship to myself and my physical body. Although this was also my starting-point towards this subject, I noticed that within one question, I mixed these two approaches a bit through each other where in I saw that unaware, I was still pushing the point of wanting to ‘solve my physical complains’ through walking process and actually, I want it NOW lol and this playing out each day again, waiting for this to happen.

One can imagine that this is giving pressure on myself and my physical body and within this, I noticed that I was waiting for myself to ‘succeed’ in this and if not, I would not yet allow to really stand for and share what I am walking in/as this process of self-realization, because as long as the physical complains are here and/or are coming back or even may come back, I did not really succeed and so, not allowed by myself to stand and share.

Here I do not take everything into consideration, I fear to do so because what if there are aspects and dimensions that make it impossible to completely ‘solve’ these physical complains during my life in/as the physical? Then I will never be able to ‘succeed’ so to speak. This is the problem with trying to reach a ‘good health’ as it is like a picture of a carriage with a donkey in front of it who is walking behind a carrot on a line, the carrot is holded right before it’s nose but as the donkey walks, the carrot goes foreward because it is carrying the carriage with the one who is holding the line and so, the donkey will not be able to eat the carrot. Or, walking in circles actually, the circles of consiousness. To clarify that animals are not walking behind a carrot but we as humans are doing so in/as the mind while sitting on the box of the carriage, holding the line with the carrot and this picture is a projection of our human mind as how we as humans are in/as the mind, directing life by how we are walking in circles and focus on the result that we project in/as the mind instead on focussing on who are are in/as life within the walking.

Here I notice that I fear to have to live with the physical complains from a spastic colon through all my live. And this fear I am projecting forward as an already created road for myself where in I keep myself prison in/as an experience of fear and so, in/as the mind. Which will enlarge the tension on the large intestine. In which I will enlarge the experience of not succeeding ever.

Theoretical it is not so difficult to grasp, however in the moment of finding myself within the uncomfortability of the spastic state and within this, an unability to release myself from the physical waste (poo), I am having the most difficulties with who I am in relation to myself and my physical body, It is also already an accumulated situation where in I was not aware yet of how I exactly build the tension in the days before, mixed with an accumulation build up throughout my whole life and foundated with some predisposition within the large intestine coming from the familiy-line. So it is quite an integrated and complex state that is physically manifested.

However, if I keep and place my focus on who I am within this process and physically manifested and integrated state, I empower myself to work with that part that I do have a direct influence on, namely who I am within and as myself, being and becoming aware of myself in participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions and from here, seeing how this is influencing myself and my physical body. Even that might be one step too far as this integrated relationship of mind-body-self is developed throughout time and so, several dimensions are active and/or already in an activated state at the same time through which it is still difficult to directly see how my mind-participation is of influence on this specific body-part. I do know that it is of influence but focussing on the finish is not of support for myself of that what I am able and need to walk in small steps in my daily life.

So here I find a sort of reset for walking process from what I have started to walk until now (which is about 3,5 -4 year). When we start walking process, we do not always know what we are stepping into and for me, I only saw and was clear that within the Desteni I Process I will be able to keep on walking with/as myself and others doing the same where in the mind-body relationship is considered. How exactly this will unfold will develop over time while walking and I notice it is more or less in the direction that I was already seeing at the start and at the same time, it is different than what I could comprehend and so much more encompassing as it is including everything. And this is what I did not have learned throughout my life, to include everything and everyone. This is what Life is doing, Life is including itself actually.

As long as I am excluding someone or something, within and/or without myself, I can be sure that I am not standing in oneness and equality in/as life. It is remarkable how something so ‘for the obvious’ can be so difficult to integrate within/as myself to really live and apply and it is even more remarkable how I and we as human beings have let it come this far, to this state of separation within and without.

There is no other solution than to walk it back and learn to understand, forgive and correct that what I have accepted and allowed, within and without myself and while doing so, stop the separation from myself as life. It is not only ‘me fixing my physical complains’ as it is an interconnected process that is including all and everything that exists. Which is starting at home, in my daily life. Where in it seems as if there are more important things to do than learning to communicate with the one’s living nearby. And so it is easy to let myself and my focus be distracted to ‘something bigger outside myself’ in which I unable myself to do anything. But I am able to something in my nearby environment and relationships. Everyday a bit. So that is where I start and move on. Actually I need to go even more inside, into the relationship with myself with and within my physical body as here, the whole universe is actually playing out, as so within so without. The without as a reflection from the within.

To be continued.

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

change your angleThe mind-body relationship – Timeline

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/

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Dag 596 – The mind-body relationship – Hope

hope

After writing the last blog about the need for specifity, I saw how this not applying at first, is related to hope. I saw this when I read the text of the Life Review ‘What if…’ and how this is related to hope.

Hope that it is possible in another way, hope that I do not need to do so; to apply this specifity with regards to food, hope that ‘for me it is different’, hope that there will be a miracle in some way, as how I hear sometimes from others as in ‘I took out the dairy and my intestine-problems are solved’.

Here I will apply self-forgiveness on the experience of hope within myself in relation to the condition of my large intestine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an experience of hope that it is possible in another way to ‘solve’ the problem, other than being consequent and specific within my application of taking responsibility for and as myself as who I am, because when and as I look at others, I see that they do not have the same complaints and that they are not so specific and/or, that others do – from my perspective – only need to make one adjustment or only adjustments in their food, to improve a physical condition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others/what I see in others without realising that I only see one dimension and also, through my own interpretation in/as the mind which does not give a map of the whole situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be totally specific but only roughly and so, I can not come to specifity as how is needed to really support myself within the mind-body relationship, as I see that I need to be specific on one area as a start, to be able to go into a deeper level within me, through the layers that are build specificly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can do everything ‘roughly’ and following the basic, without going into specifity, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will be able to go from basic more into depth specificly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not specific, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the application specifies through time by walking constant and consistently into more detail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be specific as this ‘costs’ me a lot of effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to be at first line for 10 cents’ as how in Dutch one says as a proverb which means so much as wanting to have the best result without putting in the effort to attain this potential within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not being specific enough, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can learn to be/become specific and that specifity is build through time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel useless because of not having a ‘specialization’ in the area of natural medicine where I work and connect this with not being specific, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am walking myself into more specifity day by day into this new area of the mind-body relationship that has not so much been explored in total specifity thus far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in walking this process specific enough to get into clarity for and as myself because I did not see anyone in the area of natural medicine walk the mind-body relationship specifically, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that with putting everything together that I have walked and that I walk/will walk, I will be able to be/become more and more specific in relation to my own physical body and the function of the large intestine.

When and as I see myself participating in an experience of hope, I stop and breathe.

I realize that I am waiting for something ‘as a miracle’ that solves the problem, instead of walking what is needed specifically in relation to the mind-body relationship, in who I have become in/as the mind within and as my physical body in and as the application of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements on my acceptances and allowances in participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings through which I seperate myself from a direct seeing into and as myself and my physical body.

I commit myself to walk day by day and to forgive and correct myself in the mistakes and misunderstandings that are causing a consequence on my physical body and so, on this physical as a whole until I am able to prevent myself from going into reaction as a  ‘mistake or misunderstanding’.

I commit myself (to learn) to prevent myself from creating consequenses on my own physical body and on this physical existance as a whole until I am walking in and as breathe as prevention, by taking responsibility for and as myself by preventing, so stopping myself from going into reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe, because I have already gone in reaction, I have to go on and on without seeing where to go, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that the further I go, the further I have to walk it back and walk through consequenses in and as my own physical body.

When and as I see myself going on and on in reaction, I stop and breathe. I realize that I need to stop anyway and so, I stop, I breathe, I let go and apply self-forgiveness on the mistake that I have already made by stepping into a reaction. I realize that only when and as I stop myself from following this energy, I am able to see what thought has triggered the reaction within and as me and from here, I will be able to apply self-forgiveness effectively and so, specifically. I realize that I am still speaking from a starting-point of fear when and as I am going and speaking in reaction as a fear of not going to be heard when I do not speak up now, where in I am creating that what I fear as ‘not being heard’ because I speak in reaction which is causing reaction through which one cannot hear. I realize that this is not necessary, that this fear is not needed and I have already seen and realized in a more surfaced dimension how to walk into a more stable situation when and as I am stable in and as myself, taking responsibility for the whole situation in and as my ability and so, I commit myself to see what it is that I do not want to take responsibility for, what it is that I judge/fear in a deeper layer/dimension and to take time to walk this through, to see, realize and understand what it is and apply self-forgiveness on the thoughts as fear while walking into more self-trust in real time application.

When and as I see myself participating in a thought that I do not have a ‘specialization’ in the area of natural medicine, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am specifying myself in understanding myself within the mind-body relationship and the influence on the large intestine and that the ‘specialization’ is existing in and as myself in my own application of self-forgiveness and self-correction into physical equality and oneness and so, I commit myself to walk from ‘specialization’ in/as the mind into specifity and detailled application in/as the physical, using the condition, the changes and level of stability of my own physical body as a point of cross-reference.

I commit myself to make it an effort to really stop myself from going into reaction and speaking in/as this reaction to prevent creating more consequenses in and as my physical body and so, within this physical existence.

So, I realize that a miracle or ‘one moment’ is not coming or solving anything as I need to walk breathe by breathe, moment by moment and within this, take responsibility for and as myself within this physical condition in every related area including the food I take and my living situation – the who I am within – is as a guideline for the points that I need to forgive, correct and change within and as myself.

I commit myself to bring and keep my focus on myself in who I am within a condition and situation, instead of focussing on the situation and/or condition.

writing

The mind-body relationship – Timeline

Disclaimer:

This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.

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Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Leefbaar Inkomen Gegarandeerd:
https://www.facebook.com/BasisinkomenGegarandeerdDoorEqualLifeFoundation
Equal Life Foundation:
https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation
Proces van zelfverandering:

www.desteniiprocess.com
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com  GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
www.desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
Zelfeducatie free:
www.eqafe.com/free
www.desteni.net
www.desteni.org
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/dag-235-de-desteni-boodschap-wat-doen-we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf:
https://ingridschaefer1.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/dag-299-zelfvergeving-als-toegift-aan-jezelf/