I have often experienced fear of loss when I am in a relationship, when I am not in a relationship, when a relationship is about to begin or when it is about to end, so actually this means that in any time I have experienced this fear of loss lol.
I was retrospecting within myself, also after having received a private interview with my physical body that in time to come, I will more expand on, and I saw that I am actually able to emotionally be alone and still standing. I have had a period in my life where I have lived alone in an area that was outlaying where I had mostly relied on myself where in this being alone there, I enjoyed something very much as being comfortable in it, more than while being ‘out there’ in society. So I was looking what it was/is that I am standing with and feeling comfortable within and always had seen it as ‘nature’ as the animals and the plants that I felt comfortable with. And to not make myself ‘dependent on nature’, also letting it go again and moving to another place.
Where I now see, it is something within nature, plants, animals that I am comfortable in and that I am looking for and that I can and want to relate with and as, and it is……..Life.
I was worrying about how this would be when I die, because then there will not be nature for example. Looking into what Bernard have walked and his death and what he was and is standing in and as: Life. Also when I die, I do not need to be ‘lost’ but I have the ability to make the decision to stand in and as Life and so stand together, yet alone. As something that I can already walk while being here on earth.
Here I come to a ‘redefinition’ for myself of the word relationship and what I am looking for in this, which is Life. Which is not something that I can ‘loose’ but which is something that I can realize, and from here, live, apply, stand by and as. Life.
B mentioned in the past that our relationship will unfortunately be/become with Desteni, where in it is not about Desteni as something separated but actually what Desteni is standing for and as and bringing practical solutions to live and apply, to bring ourselves to what we are all looking for but never before have had access to or understood: Life.
To come to this realization I have actively walked now about 4 years of Desteni I Process and blogging and participating in a group of people who walk the same and before this I walked quite a path already within self- and body investigation and I find it definitely a process to even come to an understanding of what it means to live and from here, it will be a path to apply and really live it. Where the process itself already entails the application and living of it, it is not separated because life is already within us, the awareness is here but we have to actively open it up, apply and live. And for this we need information and instruments, we need the tools to do so as it will not magically come by itself.
This realization gives me a stable foundation to walk on from and to realize myself everytime that I tend to go into an experience of fear of loss for example. It is actually a decision to stand by and within this relationship with and as life, within and without, which entails the self-commitment. To walk with and as myself into oneness and equality, with and as life. As something that connects everything and everyone because the spark of life existst in everything and everyone. But we do have to make and live the decision by ourselves, to stand with and as this spark and from here, let it grow. And I have found it already quite a path to stand in this integrity, which shows me that we are all pretty lost as humanity as a whole. Where in we actually fear loosing that what we are used to get lost in: our own mind. How contradictionary.
So the solution is to get to know ourselves in that what we are lost in, our own mind. To learn how to understand it and from here, stand up and change it/ourselves within and without, bit by bit. Where to understand everything, is to forgive everything.
Journey to Life – Reis naar Leven:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
Ingrid’s Desteni Witness Blog
The Secret to Self-Realisation:
Proces van wereldverandering: