I am looking in the word Equality and what it means. As how I see it, equality is the most challenging aspect of this process of birthing myself as life from the physical. To take responsibility for every aspect, every thought, emotion, feeling in and as myself. To stand ‘equal’ with it within myself and through this, with all and everything that exists in this world.
Without equality, I am not able to manifest myself in my utmost potential, in and as self-expression in a way that supports myself and another equally. I started my Desteni I Process around 10 years ago and 10 years before this, I have finished my education in natural medicine. However I have not yet been able to successfully start something within this area in a way that I see myself in my ability reflected. There was always something missing and I did not want to start giving something ‘in my name’ that I am not totally satisfied with, in that I see there is something more.
One aspect of this process is that I ‘fear people’ so to speak. Bernard pointed this out to clearly to me with the words ‘you still fear people’ – not as something big, but let’s say mentioning it two or three times towards me – when I was at the farm in South-Africa. It was not something new, only a confirmation from what I did already see and sense within myself. This ‘fear of people’ makes it difficult to ‘work with people’ in a supportive way. When I asked him ‘what to do about it’ he mentioned ‘it’s a thought‘. When I bring this back to the existence of a single thought, I come to a view of it is probably based on moments in childhood, where I felt like ‘loosing control’ in for example being disturbed and then creating a thought to create an illusion of control, in and as my mind.
(Click here for the Englich explanation in an interview and here for a personal Dutch youtube exploring this mechanism).
Which then develops into being triggered again in other moments, creating energy in the form of emotions (negative energetic experiences) and from here building up towards the polarity in and as feelings (positive energetic feelings). So I then could say that in interaction with people, I create a thought as an attempt to ‘keep the control’ inside myself because this is all I know. Which I then form judgements about within myself, towards myself and from here projected into a form of blame onto others in which I create a ‘fear of people’. Something like that, I still do not see the exact construction as I do not see specific memories but I am getting more stable in it.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I engage THOUGHT, it acts like GOD and fear emerges as make believe concepts and ideas I make myself believe till I am scared. Essentially, I create my fear and then am afraid of my own creation – such a powerful being I am – yet it all happens ONLY IN MY HEAD, ALONE and when I can transfer MY FEAR to another HEAD, through talking, or writing, or examples or pictures – it remains IN MY HEAD alone, MY FEAR ONLY.“
From: Creation’s Journey to Life: Day 42: Fear Be AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID
So here I am after 10 years walking this Desteni I Process, to get to know myself in thoughts, emotions, feelings and the process of self-forgiveness (as self-understanding) and self-correction in my living action in word and deed. And here a new area opens up. An area that I have not walked in before. And this is asking for self-trust. For trusting myself in that I will see in the moment what to do as what is best. Where the knowledge and information is here as a back up for myself, to cross-reference the solutions that come up within me, however not as a strict guide-line to follow because that is the reason why I did not yet start something in my own name after completing the study of natural medicine; because doing it on knowledge and information only, is not enough. It is not what and how I want to give as myself in and as a point of support.
So, back to the word equality. Because I see this process is all about integrating the concept of equality within and as myself. To at least use this as a starting-point and so a self-commitment – not as an absolute goal as if I have already ‘reached’ this but as an ongoing process and enough to start with. I have seen that it is enough to start with practically because I have stumbled on a physical support that in my eyes reflects the point of equality in the source within our physical body and so I can use it as a physical support for every one who is able (also with regards to some costs that come along with it), ready and willing to receive. And here it is up to me to find the courage within me to walk into this new area of self-expression as a way of support that is best for all, within my personal reach. So that I can expand and learn beyond my programming and others as well, in a way that is best for all.
In every conflict, in every war, in every physical disbalance there is (or have been in the past and being unresolved) an aspect of equality missing and so the starting-point needs to be relooked at. We somehow are able to grasp the word oneness, this because it is used in religions and so the mind can grasp this in a way. However in which religion do we really see equality coming through as a living reality? Jesus is living it in his message, however he also have been ‘veiled’ in a way which ended up in a form of control, channeled into a ‘religion’, following a ‘God’ which he never intended. How is real equality possible if we already believe in a form of ‘God’ that ‘stands above us’ as the creator, I mean, as something that we have placed our responsibility on? Here the starting-point is already screwed and so the point of equality is missing. Which equally means that we are missing ourselves in and as the responsibility of being the creator of our own creations as consequences.
“(…) My message was that of equality. Yet, the White Light so specifically arranged for my coming to be that of creating a religion for all to be enslaved and not realize, experience or see who they really are. For if the beings here on earth, even during the time I was here were allowed to see and experience who they are – the White Light and many other dimensional beings would not be able to have power and control over earth – power and control being their alpha and omega. The White Light and many other dimensional beings’ God were: Power and Control. The best place to stand as such was here on earth. What I understood before coming was that I was sent to bring forth equality and awareness to the people of earth for they had lost themselves and forgot who they are. The White Light said that they are sending me specifically to speak, show and reveal once again who each are for peace, harmony, freedom and equality to once again prevail on earth. All that I in this moment stood for as who I am. With absolute excitement and uncontainable gratefulness I set forth on my journey on earth to assist all too once again become aware, see and experience who they are. Primarily I presumed through information given to me by the White Light at the time – the people, the beings incarnated on earth have forgotten who they are because the interdimensional interaction was non-existent and weren’t consistently surrounded by beings such as myself who clearly remember who they are in every moment.“
“The White Light required a manifestation of who each one really is to walk the earth to assist all to once again remember – as I have explained. I clearly remember my experience on earth some two thousand years ago. Each and every single being I came into contact with – I experienced as equal and the same to who I am, yet individual and unique in their forms of self-expression. Little did I know during my experience on earth of the mind/consciousness construct which was imbedded and implanted within people on earth as a specific enslavement construct to have the people on earth remain as slaves for other to inflict their power and control ego-applications. I was not aware of the mind/consciousness construct as the White Light veiled it from my eyes so that I may only see who each being really is as myself – I did not see their earthly three dimensional systems at all. According to my understanding, and this is exactly what I did – I showed, spoke and revealed to each on earth what they are capable as me to apply and become when following my example through specific application. I did not intend for myself to become a being to be worshipped and for God to be portrayed as a being outside each one. My specific words were for each to understand who they as God as me and I am an example of who each one is. I showed as an example the simplicity of the ability to heal, to move out of your body completely, to leave your body for a certain amount of time and be able to come through again through breathing in the breath of life that is you. I alone was not able to travel through the world in one singular life to assist all on earth to understand who I am and each are, thus the first application I knew I was required to do was to gather a certain amount of people to follow my process, examples and words, to become as who I am as they are to once I leave assist the rest of the world. To each spread into different directions, establish themselves and walk amongst others and show, speak and reveal who each are as they are as I am. My plan was to once I leave earth permanently create an interdimensional relationship with all on earth to not allow anyone to forget who they are and become lost through forgetfulness. Surely as all on earth who are reading this in this moment are able to see that this is clearly not the way it played out – as I intended and set forth. (…)”
From: Jesus – The forgiveness of Jesus
As how I see it, the mind can not grasp this point of equality because it would mean that the mind in and as energy in plus and min, as how we have channeled ourselves into, is coming to an end. So we should not wait for ‘god’ in and as our own mind, to bring in some equality. Because as long as we only ‘think’ and look from a ‘mind-perspective’, we will not see the solution in and as equality. However we can use our mind very well to see – this ‘I’ that is ‘seeing into‘ my own mind, this is ‘me’ as a being as the directive principle – where we have separated ourselves from our responsibility from our substance in and as sound, as this is coming up clearly in thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions, conflicts, illness and disease and so we have it all within us to start this process of birthing ourselves as Life from the physical. For those who have the time and money and so what is equally needed for a world that is best for all, is an equal money system as an equal birth right for every one. That is not yet here, we are still far away from that. But for those reading here, it is possible to start this process within and as self. Also join Earth Haven.
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I invite everyone to write something about equality with #Equality, in what it means and how we have walked it so far. So that many examples and aspects will be out here, to spread the word so to speak, to bring it into living.
I will expand with some self-forgiveness as well in a blog to come. Thanks!
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